Tomorrow is Thursday

Maybe you already knew that. What will your day be like tomorrow? Maybe a little slow and dull? Maybe you have something kind of special planned? Maybe you wish you could stay at home and avoid the colder weather.

I am moving. Tonight I’m planning what I will haul down as a last car load of stuff before I become a fully fledged downtown Toronto living person. I’m not exceptionally looking forward to it.

It will be nice to have a place of my own. Though that is a bit up in the air lately. My brother has arranged for a guy to paint the hallway leading upstairs from the basement apartment and he will likely figure he can make use of my apartment to wash up, eat, poop and so on. Oh joy! I just really want some guy sharing my facilities, leaving me to clean up after him. If I wanted that I could have stayed married. On the really happy side, this is the same highly unreliable guy who never shows up when he says he will. So I will never know when he may drop by, or if he will.

I need to buy a bus pass which will take up the bit of money I have left but I am looking forward to seeing downtown Toronto again. Even if I have to look for a job while doing so.

Anyway, still a lot to do tonight. I’ve got a to-do list going. Really list-able of me! Sometimes a list is a good thing, outside of grocery shopping even.

I don’t know what will happen about the Internet connection. I will just sign up with Bell if nothing has worked out by November. But, Bell may take a week to send out the package for the DSL connection. My telephone modem may be fried, it did get hit by a shock at the same time the DSL modem from Netscape did. So, chances are it’s goose was also cooked.

My Mom is a bit sad about my leaving. I can tell cause she’s driving me crazy with double checking my life. We are going to play cards now that she has just come back from her swim at the hotel behind the house here. I am going to miss this town. It is pretty nice for a small town. How weird it will be to be part of a city again. I hope I can get over the transplanted feeling quickly and I really hope I don’t feel like the cow among stick figure girls too.

I may see if the budget can stretch for a couple of day passes for the TTC. Then I could take my digital camera and me to the Eatons Centre and the ROM (Royal Ontario Museum). I know I am going to feel really strange and out of place for awhile. I’m going to miss a car too. How nice it is to just go out to the driveway and turn on the ignition and drive away. Waiting for the bus just won’t compare. For one thing it’s much less anonymous to be in a car than on the bus. I think that bothers me more than waiting for the bus.

Some people might take that as good inspiration for losing weight. I may just buy a vat of ice cream and let myself pretend I’m skinnier than I think I am.

Life goes on. See you later. Someday over the rainbow….

Living in a Big Blue Bottle

Wouldn’t it be kind of funny if we lived in a big bottle? Here we are on this big blue and green planet, in this sparkling solar system, tucked away in what we consider a universe which has no beginning and no ending. But, how funny it would be if we were totally wrong. Maybe, in reality, we are just part of some kid’s snowglobe or some message in a bottle which some castaway threw off the beach hoping it would wash ashore and be found. What if all we really are is some common form of bacteria on a dingy piece of paper folded up inside a bottle slowing sinking into an enormous ocean in space?

How would that change your life?

Why should it. Does it matter if we are nothing but a speck of junk in someone’s snowglobe or bottle.

Sometimes I just get these odd thoughts. As if I want to know more than I can ever know. As a kid I wanted to have all knowledge and thought it was really unfair when my Mother explained I could never know everything. For a day or two I decided I would break the rules on that and be the first person to know everything. I made a few lists of things I would have to learn. As my lists grew too long and I kept adding more details and topics I began to understand that I could never know everything, I just didn’t have enough time to do it all. Not that I couldn’t learn as much as I could. I have the space for rent upstairs in my brain. It’s not the amount of knowledge, it’s the time it would take to absorb it.

So, I abandoned that lofty goal. It never left my mind though. I still cross points of my list when I learn something new. Even if it’s impossible to know it all I will at least know a lot.

Have you ever filled out one of those online profiles for some community or dating site and felt you just didn’t have enough to say about yourself when it came to writing down your interests? I used to keep a list handy on my desktop, in a file. Just cause I didn’t want to feel that way; or forget any of the things I wanted to include. I like being a person with many interests. Each one is like a Brownie badge for things I have learned.

I wonder about people who fill their interests with TV shows and little else. Doesn’t that seem just a bit shallow? Surely, they have other interests but just don’t consider them interesting enough. I hope that is the case. It does seem sad if people, having evolved so far in their evolution, have now fallen flat and stopped doing new things, choosing to plaster themselves in front of a TV and wait to be entertained. There should be so many other things which interest people. Not watching or waiting, but doing. Creating is a good way to go. If people can create something, whether it’s a good photograph or a good dinner, that’s something they can do at least. Not everyone can be a Leonardo Devinci, Picaso or Einstein. It’s not necessary for everyone to be famous. Just to be mentally active and alive in the world.

It’s been awhile since I’ve written a rambling monologue. Good for putting people to sleep or giving their birds something to read.

I tried to perform surgery on my finger today it seems. I dug leeks out of the garden then cut my finger a little deeply while I was cutting the tops and roots from the leeks. It’s not still bleeding but I can see pink stuff under the dirt still stuck in there. Nice to know I’m still pink inside. Sometimes I feel so old and creaky and worn in. Not worn out, that’s a different kind of worn. I’m just worn in, like a pair of shoes that have finally stopped rubbing your feet the wrong way.