blabberings

There are Days When…

Getting back to this personal blog again. Which means I will need to fix it. I have a bunch of broken links from the last time I moved things on my web host. I should also give it a change from the Spring daisy look, considering how much snow there is outside today.

But, today I already have a fairly good work load and don’t feel like doing much other than hiding indoors taking care of myself. I’ve got one of those shingle things again. Making me feel all over yucky and my eye is sore. I really need to get out to deliver paperwork and buy milk at the grocery store. I wish it was a short trip to one spot for both. But no. That would be too nice.

I am trying to think how I can accomplish everything in one place anyway, cheating in a kind of, sort of, way. I could mail the paperwork though it would arrive late. I could skip getting a coffee while I am out (though I have not had a bite of anything all day and I am getting hungry even though I don’t feel like eating). I could just go to the grocery store which is right on the bus route. If I rush the shopping I can meet the bus as it comes back on the next lap of the route and then I don’t need to pay an extra bus fare to get home.

But, it’s cold outside and I’d have to rush into my coat and boots to catch the bus now. Well, really, I have about 15 minutes, give or take due to snow and ice on the roads. So, really I do have enough time to catch the bus. I should stop being such a lemming and get out there and do it. I’m not even standing up yet though.

There are days when having a personal slave sounds like a really good idea.

A Quiet Afterwards Kind of Day

Garbage is getting picked up today. I didn’t think it would so I didn’t put it out. Not that I have a lot anyway. For Christmas I wasn’t home so all that wrapping isn’t in my recycling bins.

The best Christmas present I got were new warm socks. The kind that have rubber nubbins at the bottom so you can walk around the house with warm feet that don’t slip on the floors. A good thing here with all the hardwood. I also had two boxes of chocolates which I ate while being lazy playing computer games.

My brother may be over later today. I could get a lift to the grocery store to pick up some more milk. I’m almost out of it. But, I need to go out tomorrow anyway so I can always grab some then.

Not much else going on today.

Part of my Charm

Here I am, soon to be 45 and I can’t decide if I’m a witchy wise woman, a courtesan or a 1600’s era virgin, possible nun. I don’t know if I still blush but I feel self conscious and guilty every time I share my naughty thoughts, ideas and stories. As if that’s not something I should be doing. I would think at this age, after having been married, I would be beyond that. I guess not. Maybe it’s all just part of my charm.

Automatic Scans and Updates Really SUCK!

Shampoo build up sucks. It makes me feel grungy even though I just had a shower and shampoo last night. I will have to find a different shampoo. I used to get a lovely citrus one for occasions such as this. I haven’t seen that one for years though. I miss the great smell of it.

I am tired but have a lot to get done. My computer, however, has decided now is a great time to do some fricking scan or update on something. Last time it did this (when I actually let it run on) I was waiting over an hour. Why do they think this is a good idea? Don’t they understand that when I turn on the computer it is for the purpose of doing something with it. Something other than sitting here yelling at it about sucking and being sucking slow.

Urrrrggghhhh!

Hermitized!

When you really think about it some of the stuff we cook/ bake is really kind of odd. Who ever got the idea to wrap fruit up in sugar and dough and then bake it for an hour? If you had never eaten a pie, would that sound just great and delicious to you?

We will be doing the Canadian Thanksgiving this coming weekend. The pie baking has begun. From Friday until sometime late on Sunday the house will be full of people. Times like these make me wonder if I was really meant to be a hermit. I know I’m not the social butterfly type. But, I never feel more like disappearing through a crack in the floor than when I am surrounded by family. Mostly they mean well. Mostly they don’t feel any need to censor themselves. Mostly they seem to look at me as if I’m the goodie goodie version of the black sheep of the family.

Anyway, enough about that.

Would you like to be a hermit? I think I would not like the grubby part of it. I’d rather have a shower, a hot one. I’d rather have lovely scented soap and shampoo. But it would be nice to be alone. There is something about being alone that makes me feel myself.

Steamy and Dreamy

It’s been a really long time since I had an erotic dream, about ten or more years. People seem to write about sex as if they are doing it daily, depending on what kind of site you are reading. I’m more like a born again virgin. Anyway, I was surprised to have a steamy dream. The man was someone I know but now that I am more awake I can’t remember who he was, just a dim kind of feeling that it was the body and personality of someone I know. Kind of odd.

Of course I don’t remember all the details. But, it started out in the backyard of a house with a long yard. He was doing some kind of work and I brought out liquid refreshment of some kind. We got talking a bit. He somehow mentioned dating and his lack of “friends”. I scoffed and said I had even less friendship of that kind. He was nice and said that was surprising. Then he touched me in a nice, friendly way. I looked at him and smiled or something, can’t think of what happened but we went inside the house and then inside the bed and then he was inside me. It was nice. That kind of comfortable, smooth, cuddly sex where you feel valued, even a little adored.

When I woke up one of my nipples was hard. That is only interesting because I’ve come to think of them as pretty damn lazy these past dozen or so years.

So a good time was had by all. I went back to sleep and the dream continued a bit more, but no sex just talk of doing it again. Probably a good thing I can’t remember who he was. I wonder if it is connected to the fact that the first boy who kissed me died recently. My Mother noticed the obituary in the newspaper, it had a current photo of him. It’s been on my mind a bit since then. We didn’t date or anything remotely like that. I went into his backyard with himself and another boy. I don’t know why other than the fact that he invited me over. I didn’t hang around with the boys in school, I didn’t date or really have much interest in them until a lot later, in high school. But, he pulled me close and kissed me. It was a nice kiss. A surprise. He phoned me a few days later (more or less) invited me to his house again. I didn’t go. I was a whole year younger than everyone in my class and a whole lot behind them on the boy/ girl thing. Anyway, now he’s dead at 45. It said suddenly deceased so it wasn’t that he had cancer I guess.

I guess that is at least part of why I had the dream this morning/ last evening. It was a nice feeling while it lasted, to be close to someone again. I do miss that part of sex. (Be honest, the rest we can do ourselves and likely better anyway).

So that’s my blab for the day. Outside to pick tomatos now.