Blog Talkers: Talking to Yourself

At BlogTalkers:

If you had to spend one year living alone in a remote cabin, what would you spend your time doing?

(And let’s assume there is no access to Internet)

Question submitted by: Write From Karen

I would do crafts like sewing, crochet and embroidery and I would read. I’d teach myself some programming and more web design. I wouldn’t need the Internet for that, just a computer to test things on.

I've Been Tagged!

I am away in Newmarket. Lots sort of going on out here. My Mom bought a house in Barrie on Friday/ Saturday. I have only seen it from the street so far. Kind of having a bad/ interesting day today. Soon we are leaving to talk to the siblings (mine), have spaghetti dinner and play canasta. More going on than I want to talk about even inside my own head. Family can really kill you, suck you dry and make you feel it’s all your fault. I’m not on the sunny side of optimism right now. You couldn’t guess though, right? 🙂

I think I will be back on my own computer at some point over the weekend. I have some of my tax refunds back and am already looking at the computer bundles for sale. I really want a bundle as I am looking forward to a new thin monitor rather than the big clunker hoarding my desk space now. August is the best time to get a deal but I don’t know if I can hold out that long. Silly not to and yet, when you really are looking forward to something this much, it’s hard to wait.

Leigh has tagged me as a thinking blogger. Thanks Leigh. I will pull together a list of five blogs too. Blogs that make you come back to see if what they wrote the first time was who they really are. I know which blogs make me laugh but they aren’t the same as those which make me think. Though smart humour is the best of all kinds. Sometimes it’s great to find a site that stirs around the much just lurking in your brain. I really like a blog that gives me ideas.

So that is how things are going, pretty much sideways. It is possible I will be moving as soon as June. Not a lot of time left for Toronto. I’d stay if I could find something that would pay rent, groceries and bus fare with a bit left over for spending on non-essentials to prevent cabin fever and insanity in general. Sometimes retail therapy is needed even though I scoff at being a shopping grrl. I shop for new bed linens, books and other good things. I need more of those things about as much as I need a huge zit on the end of my nose. (I just got rid of one).

Wedding Ring Zilla Grrl

I don’t exactly know why but I wore my old wedding ring when I went out today. I just went out for coffee, a Tim Horton’s pit stop to get away from cabin fever. But I picked it out of the jumble of things I have strung up hanging from my computer. It was on a string which had another ring my Mom and I found in a purse at GoodWill, also a rock (red jasper) which I bought at a Pagan shop in Newmarket. I had to cut the string to get the ring off. I don’t remember tying so many knots in it but I did use a slippery, silky string – the kind that come undone easily. I wouldn’t like to lose the ring and yet I didn’t think I’d wear it again. Still here we are… both of us lonely… blab blah… I know there’s a song like that.

So I wore the ring. Maybe I was feeling lonely. I know I’m not missing my ex and I don’t want to get back together with him. I haven’t lived a life where I want to go back and try much of anything again. Once is enough. If I can’t make it work the first time I don’t see the need to give it a second chance to blow up on me. I guess that doesn’t include everything, but a lot of things.

Anyway, I wore the ring. I think I’m just missing being married, having someone to come home to, someone to listen to when things are too silent and someone to bug when I feel like bugging someone. It’s not fair being alone all the time. I like it, some of the time. I couldn’t stand being one of those attached twins though I guess if that was all you knew you wouldn’t know anything else you only know what you’ve been living. Maybe that’s why I like being alone sometimes cause I’ve been alone a lot.

This is becoming pretty wimpy and pittiful. I just thought it was interesting about the ring. It feels really clunky on my finger. Yet I liked having it there. I haven’t taken it off yet, just for a moment or two to slide it around and take another look at that hunk of gold looking metal. My ring is a gold band with 4 itty bitty diamond chips across the front. They are so small they could be glass and I wouldn’t know. I leave it and just assume they are diamonds cause that’s what they are supposed to be.

What did you do with your ring, if you are divorced? Did you keep it, lose it or chuck it out somewhere? Maybe you had kids to give it to. I just have me. Maybe the ring was just bored tied up to my monitor for all these years. I would get bored if it had been me. Luckily I have legs to wander off.

Happy Tuesday, it’s coming. Garbage day here. I think this time I will actually bestir myself early and get the bag out in lots of time. I can’t really go out for breakfast but I could go out for coffee and just smell other people having breakfast out. That’s almost as good. Graham says the insurance money should be here before the end of the month. I will treat myself to a breakfast out then or maybe Swiss Chalet for dinner. I love the smell of that chicken though I don’t actually order it when I’m there. 😀