Canadian Driver zine

Canadian Driver

I was thinking about road rage today. Some people really are getting out of hand about it. Last night on the news they had a short blab about it. There are two cases from this past year, just in my area (about an hour out of even the extreme edge of anything that can be called Toronto). Both cases have people who are still being treated for injuries in road rage cases, one happened in April and the other July. That’s months ago and police are still handling them, people are still healing from them. That’s crazy.

People who tend to get that angry should not be driving. They should also learn that not everything is about themselves.

“That car cut ME off.” Did they really cut you off? Or did they just goof up and try to get moved over into another lane. Was it really personal? Did they get to know you first and then cut you off. Don’t make it all about you. You just happened to be there.

The only time I get annoyed while driving is when people drive too close behind me. I drive an older car (older than any children alive as children become teenagers at the age of 13, cars just become relics). That car isn’t always happy about being on the road. Sometimes it doesn’t feel all too eager to speed up after the red light, sometimes it is quite happy to drive AT the speed limits. Usually we are both pretty happy about that part, I don’t want a ticket. Anyway, I often get people driving behind me who try to push me to go faster. Go around me people. Don’t try to make me do something I don’t want to do, don’t be a road jerk. You have options other than shining your headlights in my face or trying to read the tag on the back of my shirt. Go around and get lost.

There, all my road rage has been released now. I feel so much better. Luckily I didn’t have to go anywhere today. I didn’t even go out to uncover the car from the snow that avalanched down upon us last night. Poor car, I’m so glad I don’t live outside all year.

Canada and the Rest of the World

I just started reading this in an email.

These questions about Canada were posted on an International Tourism Website and obviously the answers (jokingly) came from a fellow Canuck.
Amazing how nieve/ignorant people can be of different countries/cultures.

Q: I have never seen it warm on TV, so how do the plants grow? (UK)
A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching them die.

Q: Will I be able to see Polar Bears in the street? (USA)
A: Depends how much you’ve been drinking.

Q: I want to walk from Vancouver to Toronto – can I follow the railroad tracks? (Sweden)
A: Sure, it’s only Four thousand miles, take lots of water.

Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Canada? (Sweden)
A: So its true what they say about Swedes.

Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in Canada? Can you send me a list of them in Toronto, Vancouver, Edmonton and Halifax? (UK) A: What did your last slave die of?

Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Canada? (USA)
A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe. Ca-na-da is that big country to your north … oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Calgary. Come naked.

Q: Which direction is north in Canada? (USA)
A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get here and
we’ll send the rest of the directions.

Q: Can I bring cutlery into Canada? (UK)
A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.

Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys’ Choir schedule? (USA)
A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is..
oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in
Vancouver and in Calgary, straight after the hippo races. Come naked.

Q: Do you have perfume in Canada? (France)
A: No, WE don’t stink.

Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can you tell me where I can sell it in Canada? (USA)
A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.

Q: Are there supermarkets in Toronto and is milk available all year round? (Germany)
A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of vegan hunter gatherers. Milk Is
illegal.

Q: Please send a list of all doctors in Canada who can dispense rattlesnake
serum. (USA)
A: All Canadian rattlesnakes are perfectly harmless, and can be safely
handled and make good pets.

Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Canada, but I forget its name.
It’s a kind of big horse with horns. (USA)
A: It’s called a Moose. They are tall and very violent eating the brains of
anyone walking close to them. You can scare them off by spraying yourself
with human urine before you go out walking.

Q: I was in Canada in 1969 on R+R, and I want to contact the girl I dated
while I was staying in Surrey, BC. Can you help? (USA)
A: Yes, and you will still have to pay her by the hour.

Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? (USA)
A: Yes, but you will have to learn it first.

Ontario Home Biz Resources

True, they are geared to me and whatever I’m going to do. Still, where else do you have some poor sap slaving away at a search engine all day just to find the best stuff?! For free, no less.

Nottawasaga Biz Resources – A really great list. Things I had not found just by searching on Google.

Distance Learning Programs They have courses you can take, some are free. But, I’m not sure if you pay to register for the site. It’s confusing and I’m kind of brain tired to focus and figure it out.

Canadian Women Entrepreneurs

Government of Canada: Network for Women Entrepreneurs

Canadian Federation of Independent Business

Small/ Home Business Canada

Small Business Canada

I’ve been looking up information most of the day, since 4:30 this morning, with only short breaks for coffee, soup stirring and soon soup eating.

I found a few interesting sites.

Women’s Funding Network

Canadian Women’s Foundation

Ontario Trillium Foundation

Ontario Arts Council

Ontario Women’s Directorate

Women’s Enterprise Centre

Canada One:

The free online magazine for small businesses in Canada, with hundreds of articles, business profiles and reviews.

Charity Village: Canada’s super site for the non-profit sector.

I’m not sure if funding/ grants would make a difference at this point. It would be helpful to take some workshops or a day course in some business skills thing. But, what I would really like is some clue how to go about getting clients, in a professional and likely to be successful way, rather than just holding my breath, closing my eyes and jumping in hoping for the best.