couple

Missing Eric

This morning Eric left to go back to Vancouver. I spent the whole day feeling sad. I wrote to a friend online and she told me how silly I was being (probably). Then I finally stopped being quite so silly and I went offline to check the phone. There were 4 messages from Eric while he waited at the airport to take off. Now I know I was being too silly for words today. I feel so much better, even my headache is starting to go away. :) Eric is a wonderful man. Yes, I know it’s too soon and Yes, I know I’m not really sure what I feel but I love him. I don’t just like him. I can’t help it.

Sagittarius and Sagittarius

When two Sagittarians come together, they form a brilliant union of truthseeking travelers. This duo takes on the world through educated lenses and shares the quest for new knowledge. They enjoy pleasant conversation and banter that challenges and entertains the mind. Philosophy, concentration, and an occasional hotheaded dispute characterize the Sagittarius-Sagittarius relationship.
Easygoing and independent, this couple is compatible when it comes to balancing personal interests. Jealousy is not an issue, as each partner has personal projects that they pursue in their free time. When they are together, however, they make the most of their time and really care about pleasing their partner and satiating common interests. Flexible and modern, they can, at times, lose their temper. However, it is not in the Archer’s nature to hold a grudge or feel the effects of long-term disagreements.

Sagittarius is ruled by the Planet Jupiter. Expansion is the key word here; as both partners enjoy the acquisition of knowledge, they will also enjoy adding new and exiting ideas to their relationship. They must be wary of indulging in too much excess, as such gluttony will only slow them down. Their mutual charm and wit makes them a very pleasant couple not only to one another, but they will be the first on everyone’s invitation list.

Sagittarius is a Fire Sign. Two Fire Signs together merge to build a taller flame. They constantly reach out together and experience life: you love to share vacations or archaeological digs rather than just reading about them in books. Outgoing and friendly, it is the disease of the Sagittarean psyche to speak before thinking, thus finding them self in awkward social situations at times. The two love to begin new projects, but neither have the tenacity to keep them going and they both lose interest equally quickly. Both are eager to move ahead to the next new thing.

Sagittarius is a Mutable Sign. The flirty, exciting Sagi is incredibly easy to get along with, for the most part. Arguments rarely result between them. Both are only too happy to accommodate their significant other. Every so often a stubborn thorn will pop up, but neither partner dwells on this subject and the matter is quickly forgotten.

The best aspect of the Sagittarius-Sagittarius relationship is their enviable compatibility and their shared interest in a quest for knowledge. This pair has found the perfect balance between devotion and giving each other adequate space. Together, this couple will explore the world.

Forwarding Along to Myself

Love match:
Sagittarius and Virgo

When Virgo and Sagittarius join together in a love match, the result is a well-rounded couple. Sagittarius is an explorer who loves to socialise, while Virgo prefers to analyse Sagittarius’ discoveries. Both enjoy talking about it with one another. Virgo may demand perfection too soon for Sagittarius’ taste, but over time Sagittarius will appreciate a steady and reliable lover whose head isn’t always in the clouds.

Virgo and Sagittarius have unique approaches to life; Virgo is more practical and less distracted, while Sagittarius is the energetic explorer. It can be hard for Sagittarius to go along with the pragmatic realism of Virgo. Virgo may have a hard time accepting the Sagittarian energy. Virgo can offer Sagittarius a secure base and keep them focused on their dreams and ambitions. Sagittarius can add variety and new excitement to Virgo’s day.

Virgo is ruled by Mercury and Sagittarius is ruled by Jupiter. Mercury is about communication, and from Virgo’s perspective, analysing. Jupiter is philosophy, higher learning and travel. These two are about interpersonal communication and can sustain one another. Virgo and Sagittarius can amuse each other by discussing art and literature in great depth, Virgo focusing on the details and Sagittarius commenting on the broader picture.

Virgo is an Earth Sign and Sagittarius is a Fire Sign. Sagittarius wants freedom, while Virgo needs financial strength and domestic stability. Sagittarius is motivated by pure feeling, while Virgo is more of a thinker. As long as they reassure each other that their love for one another is solid and real, any disagreements can usually be resolved.

Virgo and Sagittarius are both Mutable Signs. It’s easy for these two to become interested in each other’s lives. Each has no trouble granting the other the freedom to enjoy things external to the relationship. They have a wonderful, complimentary style of interaction and have no trouble working together.

What’s the best aspect of the Virgo-Sagittarius relationship? It’s the security they can give one another once they discover their similar lifestyles. They make a wonderful couple once they can teach one another to look at the world through new eyes. As long as they communicate and appreciate what they can learn, theirs will be a stable and happy relationship.

Being in Love

I’m kind of scared. I’m trying not to be. David probably isn’t scared, not much anyway. I’m not sure how he is doing it. How do you take a big chance on someone? How do you just let them become such a big, important part of your life? How do you love someone? I’m starting to love David.

But, I’ve been here before with these online things. At least three times that come to mind now. One was Dave, the helicopter pilot. He wanted me to move to Oregon. He wanted me to do kinky things to him that I wasn’t really sure about. But we talked a lot. He was the channel owner of the chat channel on IRC. I liked being the main squeeze of the guy in charge. I know that was probably what made him attractive to me at the time. Then, one night the rug began to slip out. I had to drown a few kittens that day, a mercy killing. It was horrible and I came online pretty upset and just wanted him to listen and sympathize. He couldn’t. He just wanted to talk about himself. My needs were pushed aside so he could tell me about his own. That was when I knew this wasn’t going to be the guy I wanted. Later he had a terrible accident in the helicopter, delivering Christmas trees. But, even before that I knew I wanted out. It was just harder not to feel like a bitch when I left. I did though. Yes, he needed someone, but it didn’t matter if it was me or some other female. Anyway, he was never the same after the accident.

There was Sherkhan (Richard) before helicopter Dave. But that ended as friends, good friends. I do miss him and wish him all the best. Last I heard he was with another online friend. They’ve been together awhile now. I wish I hadn’t lost their email addresses. Too much moving and computer death.

There are three more I’ve thought of as I type this: Artistry (Dale), Chris and Lynn my dragon friend. Lynn and I were never romantic. But, I wondered. I loved him in some way, more than just a friend. I don’t know what he felt, he was kind of closed off. A hard person to really know. I did feel love for him but it wasn’t romantic or like brother and sister really. Maybe it was a seed that never sprouted.

Artistry, there’s a story I’ll never know the end to. I was brand new online. I fell madly in love. I thought he felt something. I don’t know really. I think he played games and even if he really did have feelings for me I think the games mattered more to him. He made a sudden departure. It was a crushing defeat for me, for awhile. I lost all those feelings of being in love. I’d never felt that before or since. Not the passion, the way the colours in the world were all brighter and the way I could read a romance novel and really… get it! Artistry betrayed me, lied and then never would tell me what changed. Maybe he never felt anything. But I did. That much I’ve kept.

Chris then, the one that hid himself away. I think of Chris the most of them all. I wrote erotic stories for Chris. I made him my online lover. He was an Englishman living in Hong Kong. When I wrote him an email it was noon my time and midnight his time. But we were friends, real friends. I could tell him anything and I did tell him a lot. I know he cared for me at least as much as I cared for him. But, he couldn’t take that final chance of actually meeting. He was a Scorpio. I’ve come to know how secretive Scorpios are. He just kept to the pattern. But, I’d be glad to talk to Chris again. I would love to know he missed me and our talks and our stories. I don’t need him to love me. That’s passed. But I miss that wonderful, warm friend. He will always be special in my life.

I married Todd. But I don’t include him in the online romances. We were penpals for over 20 years then we met face to face. He kissed me and said there were sparks. But it ended in a divorce a few years later.

Now there is David. He tells me he loves me and I believe what he says. I just find it hard to believe it’s me this is happening to. I’d given up after Todd. But I’m forever an optimist. I tried to meet more men. I answered their brief emails with as much of my whole heart as I could dig up. But each one fell flat. No answering beat, no pulse, no feeling. After a few of those I didn’t even want to try. I wanted to beat men up in general. Those unfeeling clods! How dare they not see me. How dare they talk about the great woman they want to meet and then ignore me when I’m sitting right here! How dare they start something they can’t bother to finish? How dare they strike a match and leave it to burn itself out, unnoticed.

So here I am now and there’s David. I’m afraid it will be some joke of fate. After all this time how can I now find someone that really does want me in spite of everything. It can’t be real. I keep sending him reasons he shouldn’t love me. In case he changes his mind now when it’s not too hard for me to lose him. But he still says he loves me and he’ll wait right here for me. He’s coming here for me. He didn’t even expect me to move there. He’s moving here, uprooting his life and his computer and coming here. There is nothing here but me. How can I live up to that? What if I’m not good enough? Not that I think I’m not. Mostly some of the time. Now and then I feel I’m half of a really great couple, the sort of couple who grow old together and are the envy of all their grandchildren. Now and then it’s so close I can almost taste it. But I’m still alone. It’s not easy to have faith but I’m trying. I’m trying for David cause I think he’s worth it. I am too.

Fingerprinting in St Louis

Fingerprinting in St Louis
9/25/01 6:50 pm

Todd and I went to St Louis for the fingerprinting this past Wednesday. It was a lot of travel for me because I just got back from visiting my family in Toronto on Monday afternoon. I’ve certainly had enough road trips for awhile. Well, maybe for a couple of weeks. 😉

Fingerprinting was no problem. It took us longer to actually find the right building than it did to be fingerprinted. It was all done on a computer screen. No messy ink on my fingers. We stayed a few days in St Louis. Todd had the week off. It was great to be swimming each day and have little trips around town. We saw the Science Centre but were too tired of all the walking to make it to the Historical Museum as well. Next trip for that.

It sounds like we should be able to get our file transfered to the St Louis office instead of Chicago. A difference of 4 hours driving each way.

Anyway, thats all the INS news. I’m studying Lotus Notes now. It pays much better than freelance writing or any clerical work. Tomorrow I’m going to the local mall to apply at stores.

Read more of these old posts – Our Adventures with the Fiancé Visa (2000 – 2002)

THE Interview

THE Interview
12/7/00 11:08 pm

It went ok. Everyone seems to say they are there until 3 or 4 in the afternoon. I was out before noon, with the visa. Maybe they have changed the process. I had the interview and he said it would be an hour while they added the visa to my passport, it wasn’t. We were out of there in record time. :)

I went with my Mom. We stayed at the TravelLodge. It was small in a cute way but there were cobwebs on the ceiling, the shower curtain was useless and the first room was mildewy. We changed to a second room without the mildew, still cobwebs. But the room was cute. Two little twin beds, one counter and the TV hovering over us on the opposite wall. A very small room but cosy. I liked it.

There was a free breakfast, it didn’t start until 7:00am. We went for it. Didn’t get to the consulate until near or a bit after 8:30. Here is a hint for those still going to Montreal. Its actually a side door on St. Alexander Street. You can get free parking behind the building if you ignore the french signs telling you its reserved for something or other. We didn’t have a clue what they said. But we didn’t get towed or have a ticket. :)

The security ladies checked our purses. I had already emptied mine of everything but the essentials. This made things easier. We removed our coats and those were checked too. Don’t keep anything embarrassing in your purse/ wallet. After they are scanned they go through them physically too.

After that she gave me a number (18) and we went up a flight of stairs and came to a room where people were in line. The elevator to the ninteenth floor was past the lineup. I wondered if this was where we paid the US$. But we passed it by and took the elevator. It was the right choice. Everything is up on the 19th floor, including the cashier. When the elevator gets to 19 (there is only 19 and 22, no other choices but down) you turn around and get out. Sit in the area for immigrant visas and wait for your number to be called. You will hear your number where ever you sit but you might meet someone to chat with if you are in the right section.

The place is beige on beige. For some reason I was expecting new looking blue padded chairs. I don’t know where I latched onto this idea but its stuck with me all along. :)

Anyway, you will see windows 7 to 13 I think. I know it starts at 7. That is where you will be called to hand in your paperwork. First you are called there. You hand in your number and the letter from the consulate giving you the appointment date and time. Once he has that you are sent to the cashier. You get a receipt and go right back to the window. He looks over everything and tells you what is missing. I had only one copy filled out of the little form so I filled out a second one at the window while he sorted through the other papers and asked me how I met Todd. He asked a couple of other questions like what Todd does, how much money I make as a freelance writer. I had forgotten to sign my passport so I did that. Then I wrote my passport number and the dates on the small forms. I hadn’t done that before. Anyway, that was pretty much just making sure I had all the papers. Although he made me nervous I covered it by getting chatty. Told him about the Yahoo Club here. He was interested. So we started talking about how much I know ahead and what I might be wrong about.

The main thing I was wrong about was the time it took. I said I would have the interview and be told to come back after 2:00 to pick up the visa. He said I would be out of there by 11:00 and I nearly was. :)

After giving him all the paperwork. The only other thing I hadn’t done was to get a copy of my long for birth certificate. He mentioned that a lot of people don’t bring the long form birth certificate and it was good that I had. He was quite nice once we got chatting a bit. Not quite so intimidating.

Then it was a wait for them to call my name. Not a very long wait. I watched other people ahead of me being called. But the order doesn’t stick to when you were up there with your number. Some people who had a number ahead of me never got called for the interview by the time I left.

Not a very long wait and then my name was called for Room B. I went in and there was a tall guy in a white uniform shirt. He looked like Canada Customs but aren’t they supposed to be American? I guess they just have the same look. :) He was very nice, as everyone seems to say. I yacked so much he hardly asked me anything after “How did you and Todd meet?” I told him about meeting Todd when we were penpals at 14 years of age. Then I went into our face to face encounters and the personal triumphs we have made together. He said I have had a good influence on Todd’s life and he was granting the visa. I said thank you and asked a couple of questions. I wanted to know about crossing the border, if there would be trouble after the bad time I had before. He said it should be no problem as I was now crossing with the visa. A whole different situation. Before I needed to show I was coming back, now I need to show I don’t plan on coming back.

I also asked about other places to get the green card. I had found a local SSN office and asked if we could do the green card there. He said no. They are different departments. But he said we didn’t need to go to Chicago. The green card department is federal and not by state. So you don’t have to go to an office in the same state you will be living in. This was great news as St Louis is 2 hours away and Chicago is five or more hours away. We might not even need to make an overnight trip. But, Todd read a site which says we do have to go to Chicago so we are not ahead in this question. :) The immigration interviewer did tell me the best place to find out was when I crossed the border and talked to the Immigration people there. They could tell me where I need to get the card. So, thats the plan now.

There isn’t much left to tell now. After the interview he said it would be an hour for them to put the visa in my passport. I was called up in about 20 minutes. My passport was returned folded to the visa page with THE sealed envelope inside. There is a big note about not opening this. The lady at the counter also made sure I knew and that I checked the visa before I left. Being me I gave it a cursory look before smiling to my Mom and getting the heck out of there! lol

We went for a lunch at a Chinese buffet in a small town outside of Montreal. Actually, Montreal was nice this time. Usually we leave there fuming at Montrealers and french speaking people in general. This is the first time in a very long time that we came away thinking well of Montreal and french speaking people in general.

Now the plan is to leave early on Saturday morning and cross the border at the Windsor tunnel. I’m nervous about that after my last experience there. This time I am hiding my diary somewhere. Likely I will keep it in my purse and just hang onto it if they want to check my purse. Its taken me to just this week to feel like writing in it again. :(

Anyway, things with the visa were ok. My picture in the visa is another thing altogether. lol

Good night and Todd said to tell you all he is a good guy, a hard worker and a loyal companion. Of course, he is all those things and more. Why else would I leave everything and everyone I care about pack up some furniture, books and etc and live down there in the last country I ever thought I would be living in. 😉

Read more of these old posts – Our Adventures with the Fiancé Visa (2000 – 2002)