What's Your Favourite Colour?

Mine is red.

Analysisqi

Black
Black is one of the most beautiful of colors and yet is the void of color too. It is the color of detail.
Black personalities want every thing done in detail. They are statistical and make good accountants. Internal Revenue Service agents probably like this color.
If a job needs finishing, these are the people to finish it. These personalities need leaders, though, to tell them what needs to be done.
Under guidance, they are able to get to the crux of the matter and solve very large problems. When put in a position to find the mistakes of others, they are right at home.
Loving puzzles, and finding others’ mistakes brings out their tenacious spirits. Black personalities will sometimes intentionally find mistakes just so that they can repair them.
This color is one of holding things inside. When one wears black, they do not want to be touched. Putting a barrier between themselves and others is the purpose of this color.
Keeping their strength inside so that they can better protect their emotions is the effectiveness of this color. Although they want to be part of the world around them, they want no one to tug at their sensitivity.
Black is a relief color for most people, like “Mom’s apple pie”. It makes them feel comfortable and even, in some cases, makes them feel smaller, allowing them to hide from the sometimes cruel world.

Blue
Blue is an emotional color. People with a blue personality stay within themselves and do not trust people very much. They watch every move others make.
Pale shades of blue show someone who wants everything in order. Their closet is immaculate. They know where any piece of clothing is and most likely how long it will take them to get it out of the closet.
As blue moves to the deeper end of color, it becomes more moody and shows it. With royal blue, one can be on a high or in the deepest of wells.
This color would probably be worn by one who is deciding to parachute because it would mean one needed to make a quick decision. When looking back on that decision though, the person pulling the ripcord would not be so sure they made the correct decision.
The navy colors are very emotional but also want to hide it. It’s almost as if they are wallowing in the fact that they are emotional. Some women, with a navy personality, go on cleaning binges, others go shopping.
If your house has too much blue in it, you may find yourself depressed most of the time. A baby put in a totally blue room cries all the time, but when taken into another room, it is a happy baby. Blue is a good color but it needs other shades to balance it.
Blue people think with their emotions. They are either way up or way down; feeling all the emotions they can experience on their way to either.
Crying when they are happy or sad, they are feelers. Having a need to feel every thing, they leave themselves open to others. Quickly they take the mood of any person they are around whether they are upset or elated. Feelers don’t even know why their emotions run the gambit. They are products of their environment.
Blue people are no fun to be around when they expect you to be down with them. Showing signs of co-dependency, they need you to be by their side feeling with them as they do.

Green
Green is the color of healing.
Green personalities want to help every one. They are natures mothers. These people are usually in the medical profession or some occupation which helps people.
Preferring to watch rather than to become involved in others business, they usually keep their thoughts secret. Others see them as good listeners because of this quality. This characteristic makes them wonderful counselors.
Others take for granted that the green personality can see more than one side to situation without bias.
Green personalities make others feel at home in their house by putting them at ease immediately. They try to take care of others with all the care their mothers gave them. Peacemaker is their sworn duty. They want harmony in every one’s life.
Green personalities may even stop an argument between others by starting one themselves. Others think that green personalities make the best of friends because they are jovial, caring and can keep a secret.
In order for a green personality to feel good about themselves, they have to be helping someone or something. Nurturers by choice, they are the ones who take care of animals, humans and plants.
Green personalities need to be careful not to make martyrs of themselves. This is something they easily can do.

Orange
Orange is the color of nature.
Orange people are nature lovers. Being sports minded, they love to do anything having to do with the outdoors. Taking long walks in the woods revives them. When forced to stay indoors for long periods of time, they may become ill. Trees and animals mean a lot to them and they want to be a part of nature.
Good professions for orange personalities include farmers, ranchers, football players, and guides.
People always say good things about these down to earth people. Although they may sometimes invoke anger from others, it usually doesn’t last very long. Who can remain mad at someone so helpful?
They are good lovers and can be kinky where sex is concerned. Orange personalities do not consider themselves kinky, just willing to try what their partner may like.
Tending to take up for the underdog, they will put themselves out to help someone who they feel needs assistance.
Always aware of their surrounding, they tend to be more adventurous than most. Even though they are impulsive and thoughtful, they generally are very much aware of what they are doing.
Learning and remembering through experience is a strong suit of theirs. Orange personalities believe God meant for them to have any good thing in life they want. As luck has it, they get it.

Pink
Pink is the color of peace.
People who love the color pink usually are either in a blissful state or looking for one, They want to draw the little smiley faces on everything. The perpetual smile on pink personality faces can grow thin when you are not in the same blissful state they are.
Truly loving everyone, they try to see the best in others. If they don’t find something good in a person, there has to be a very good explanation in the pink personalities mind as to why not.
Those who have this personality quietly study the best way to approach problems and then act on their thoughts. Because they tend to research ideas this way, they may be seen as slow but they are anything but slow.
Pinks are youthful looking and usually have translucent skin. They see the world through rose colored glasses. The truth of the matter is that it might be nice if we could all put those glasses on now and then.
They are shy, very intelligent, hard working people who wish they were more a part of the mainstream but are frightened of moving too quickly.
Pink personalities watch what they do or say because they are afraid that others may see them in a harsh light. They try to make everyone happy.
Others notice their wonderful senses of humor, though the pink personality may not laugh aloud. Some may even say they have a dry sense of humor.

Purple
Purple is the color of spirituality.
Purple personalities are always striving to be better than they consider themselves to be, both on a spiritual, emotional and a mental plane.
Needing more knowledge, they become avid readers. Trying to become what they think they should be, they search their own lives and the lives of others to find the answers.
The study of all religions make them feel as if they are accomplishing something bigger than themselves in life. A good theological discussion is right up their alley.
Wanting to help as many souls as they can, they are more than willing to give you the benefit of their education. Trying to achieve perfection, they seem to struggle with themselves more than most because they tend to be so critical of themselves.
The muted shades of purple can be religious zealots who know what God wants for themselves as well as everyone else. In their way of thinking, they are the ones put here to enforce religion for God. These people can be just a little frightening when they start searching for their holy grail.
The deeper shades of purple show someone working hard to find inner peace and love not only of their fellow man and themselves but of a higher power who many consider God.
Purple personalities make good friends because they always give first of themselves. Generally they do not ask much for themselves but some negative purples could be self martyred. This comes from the fact that when
they do finally ask for something from a friend, they may do so in such a way as the person they are asking did not understand.
When they do not receive the item which they requested, they turn silent and think of themselves as the only one who works in the relationship, thereby becoming the martyrs they think themselves to be.

Red
A person who likes red runs the gamut of personality traits.
This is the color for passion, energy, and money making. It can also have a darker side to it.
If the person has a preference toward the more brick (reddish brown) red colors, they have problems with addictions such as drugs, alcohol, eating disorders or emotional instability. Red oranges are not only dynamos but love the outdoors and anything to do with people. Red with blue overtones can be energetic people with high emotions.
Red personalities when in their true red mode are sexy and seductive. We now have statistical proof that men will look at a women wearing red, even though she may not be the most beautiful woman there, more quickly than they will anyone else in a room.
It is the color for someone who wants to be powerful and in control. Business people who want to win wear the power color red to meetings in which they want to stand out. The red personality makes one feel more energetic or activated.
Stop signs are red. Red gets your attention. This energetic personality craves attention and what’s more: They get it. Being quick with their emotions, they may erupt into a temperamental volcano right in front of you then simmer down just as quickly.
Quick to give others answers to any question, they feel they know everything. Reds are quick minded, brilliant people who may not be well educated but are quick with answers because they have lived the circumstances.

Yellow
People with yellow personalities are a business minded lot.
These people want others to know they are well educated, whether self taught or otherwise, and strive to attain success through anything mental.
Making good leaders, they generally make up their mind in a methodical way. Every detail needs to be analyzed before they make a move. Any strategic game peaks their interest. Chess is the game for them.
This personality can be a little stubborn. When the color goes more toward a mustard shade, these personalities know that they are the only people making the right decisions. This tends to make others a little suspicious of their motives.
The true yellow personality makes wise decisions based on consideration of all points of view.
Yellow women personalities would rather be in business, than to be mothers, but can take both jobs and be quite adept at doing so. When these people are under stress, they feel that they need to keep their emotions covered.
If they show the stress, it is a sign of weakness. They try not to let you see them sweat.
Keeping to themselves without inviting many others into their lives, they generally only have one or two good friends. These friends are usually people who are business minded too, although the true yellow personality depends on no one but themselves.
Adoring tailored clothing, they usually dress quite professionally. Although the women may add larger accessories, they dress with a simple flair.

White
White is the color of purity. The color of new snow or light from above. What we fail to see is that snow and light has impurities in it but looks as if it is the most pure of all sights.
This personality sees themselves as very special because of this color, sort of above it all. Watching others with interest, they blend in with their surroundings.
Shyness comes with this color but it is not a true shyness. Waiting patiently for others to notice them before they make their thoughts known, they tend to appear shy but in truth, they are very outspoken.
Virginal attitudes abound with these people. They feel pure no matter what they do. The virtue of purity is attributed to them by others as well, whether they deserve this characteristic or not.
With sober sight, they tend to look others over with a very critical eye. Even while this is happening the person they are appraising does not feel they are being criticized but analyzed instead. If they win the approval of the white personality, these analyzed people act as if they have just won the lottery.
White personalities feel they are right in their belief structures although they are not sure they want to discuss those beliefs with others.
The fact that they know they are right is enough for them. It is not uncommon, however, to notice a slight smile cross a white personality’s face, when another acknowledges their belief is correct.
Self-importance is a part of their personality but does not interfere with their higher motives unless they are a negative white personality.

Step Right Up… Last Day of November!

What kind of a month has it been for you?

I finally moved mostly everything I own into this basement apartment. Still a lot to organize but I’ve been procrastinating. Partly due to a lack of drawers to put things away into. Partly cause I don’t feel like this is home. Today I had a wood louse on my floor. Those are bugs that look like pill bugs but can’t actually roll up into a pill. They like damp, dark places and wood to nibble on. I don’t have a lot of rotting wood but it is dark and a touch dampish. I have a space heater and I have a water sucker thing (humidifier is not the right word for it – I think it’s the water mister thing).

I am looking for work, not as hard as I could be, but looking. I applied at a few places, some of them online writing jobs which may not pay very much. I’m not sure yet.

I have a stockade of tomato soup that I’m sure someone, somewhere would be jealous of. Luckily, I like tomato soup now, I haven’t always. I also have really nice salsa but I have to nibble at it carefully cause the raw onions make me sick. Tomorrow I need to buy more coffee and some other groceries. Woman can not live on tomato soup and salsa alone.

My Christmas tree is sitting in it’s original ‘White Rose Santa’s Choice’ box. I am not putting up anything Christmas until at least December, officially the day after today. I might wait till closer to my birthday, if not that day itself. I’m going to have a kind of stingy birthday this year. In the past I have treated myself well on some occasions: twice I stayed at a hotel downtown overnight and ate out somewhere deluxe, blew money on books and other trinkets I could have done without. A couple of times I bought a Greyhound bus ticket and road (bus) tripped my way across Canada, staying at the Youth Hostels. This time I will settle for something less travelicious. Maybe dinner out with a good book.

I am caving on the whole idea of meeting anyone, penis included. What is wrong with men in their 40’s anyway? It seems like the decade of the shallow, selfish perverts. I’m sure they can’t all be that way. At least that’s my theory and I do have one or two test specimens to prove it. Of course, I haven’t met them in the flesh, face to face. Maybe all those other guys seem normal from a safe distance too.

It’s beginning to tick me off, just beginning and mildly, that John has not replied to any of my emails. Last time I heard from him was in July. I have tried to put him out of my limited brain space. It’s not working. All I have to do is read his last email and all my questions come forth again. He seemed so sincere and not that standard guy I keep meeting. He seemed to really want to meet ME. The me that I am not the me that I try to become for those sap suckers. It’s frustrating to find someone who seems almost too good to be true and then find out he never really existed or just vanished into some time warp or was sucked up by aliens, or something.

Don’t think I’m all doom and gloomy. I’m doing ok. I felt yucky today and went back to bed. How many people can do that? It was nice. I woke up feeling much better and with a plan of action about the job searching thing. We’ll see how that latest one goes over. I emailed it away a few hours ago. Then I wasted time playing Neopets and watching people shoot each other on TV. Now it’s late enough to go to bed but I feel that would be a bit too much slacking off after I got up late and had a nap. So I’m writing a bit of this and that. It’s too early to get out there for the bus. I may hop out if I stay up till 5:30 or so. Places open for breakfast at 6:00 you know. It’s always fun to be up early, before the sun and pretend civilization has crashed and I’m scurrying among the survivors. Ok, maybe that’s just me.

I am making some progress with the apartment. I put together the bookshelves by myself and they are still standing, fully loaded with books even. I’m impressed.

I had one first date so far. It didn’t go anywhere and I never heard from him again. I’m so good at that! It’s not a bad skill to have. If you’re never going to see them again you may as well never hear from them again either. I did not hide the body! I know what certain of you will be thinking… Happy.

I began plotting a story. Maybe it will be the one that makes it into book length. I could at least work on being a one hit wonder. Why put on the pressure to be some world famous book writer with thirty of them published before I die? Far too much pressure. If you settle for being a one hit wonder you get that book out there plus you have the aura of mystery and you can be on some blog post about ‘Whatever happened to…’ That’s got to be worth something.

The Train Not Taken

This is the story I wrote yesterday. It started from a post I read on Craiglist, in the Missed Connections section. The rest was likely influenced by a certain person I haven’t heard from since July.

He was on the train again. The guy with a shaved head, charcoal grey suit this time and a red silky looking scarf. No hat, he never wore a hat no matter how much it snowed or rained. I always watched him, shy, from my seat. Sometimes he noticed me, sometimes he didn’t.

I hadn’t seen him this past week. One whole week of commuting without seeing him. I had nearly cried on Friday night, thinking he must have moved or changed jobs and I would never have the chance to meet him now. I regretted not doing something, even something really dumb.

But, there he was back again. Same shaved head, same suit and that same smiley face. He was just one of those people who seemed to smile easily. Sometimes he had conversations with the people around his seat. He laughed easily too and it was a laugh that made me smile, even on the hardest days when I felt worn down to a stub of myself.

I had to meet him tonight, finally. I couldn’t let another day pass by. Maybe he had moved and today was one last trip on the old commuter train. My palms were slick and my stomach in knots but I just had to do something this time.

I knew I looked ok, not one of my better days for looks but it wasn’t too bad. Hopefully I didn’t get too wind blown while I was waiting at my stop for the train. I couldn’t quite dare reach up to pat my hair, he might look over at just that moment.

Before I could think about what I was doing I made my legs stand up. I shuffled my purse and laptop over my shoulder and made myself take that first step. I was committed then and couldn’t go back. Besides, some jerk stole my seat before I had even gotten into the aisle.

He looked up and watched me coming along the aisle. He smiled and I smiled back. I hoped my teeth didn’t have any leftover lunch and then I just hoped my voice wouldn’t come out in a squeak or not at all. “Hi”, brilliant, I thought. All these months and I couldn’t do better than a Hi.

“Hi,” He answered, “Was it too cold there by the door?”

“No…” I couldn’t think of a thing to say, rot my brain.

“It’s always colder by the door. John gets off at the next station you could sit in his place then.” He gave a nod to one of the men sitting across from him. They’d been talking awhile, I’d been listening but really only hearing one of them.

“Sure, that would be great.” I let my purse and laptop slide down to rest at my feet. The train moved on, snow and darkess blurring past the windows. No one said anything for awhile and I began to feel like an intruder, the odd woman in their group of guys.

I looked down at my boots, still dripping snow and slush. “You should be wearing a hat. I never see you wearing one and tonight is going to be freezing they say.” I braved a look up at him through my hair.

He laughed, in a nice friendly way. “I like to freeze my head, keeps me thinking.” The other guys laughed a bit. One of them started making a joke about freezing something else and then stopped, kind of looking at me. I had the feeling he was a well trained married guy, careful what he said in mixed company. I grinned over at him. After that we had a steady conversation. The next stop came and I sat down with the guys. We talked about our jobs and car repairs and the coming Christmas holidays.

I didn’t realize it was just myself and Greg until the last guy left and we were the only two sitting there. It was too late to be ackward by then. We’d already been talking for half an hour and I knew his name.

“It’s really nice to meet you, Jane.” He said. “I thought about bumping into you or something for awhile but you looked like you didn’t really want to talk to anyone. Shows how easy it is to be wrong about people.” He smiled. “Would you like to go for a warming up coffee at the restaurant in the station before we head out?”

“I’d like that.” I said. “They have a really good hot chocolate. I bring my nephew over once in awhile on the weekends.”

We spent the next hour talking. Talking about everything under the sun it seemed. We talked as we got off the train, we talked as we had our hot chocolate and we talked until he noticed it was already after 8:00.

“I didn’t think it was so late. I can’t stay longer. We moved my Mother into a nursing home last week and I promised I would visit her tonight. They close the doors at 9:00.” He put cash on the table, enough for both drinks and a decent tip.

We walked out to the parking lot together. The snow had kept up, all the cars in the lot were coated in a thick layer of white.

“Could be a challenge just to find your car tonight.” I said.

“People coming on the late train will be stuck getting a cab home it looks like.” He pointed to where the snow was piled up from the plough, a huge mountain already. One of the cars was very close, at least a third of it was under the mountain. Why did it have to be my car?

I moaned, thinking about getting it out.

“That’s not your car is it, really?” He sort of laughed and grimaced at the same time.

“It sure is. I have a window scraper in the trunk. If I can get it open.”

“I think you will just have to leave it here. Do you have CAA so you can call them to tow it or something?”

“Yes, do you think they would come for something like this?” I asked, hopefully.

“Probably.” He said thinking. “What else can someone do when something like that happens. You can hardly wait for the Spring thaw.” He laughed and I had to laugh too, even though I seemed to be stuck without a car.

“I know we’ve just met but I could drop you off at home. I’m sure my Mother would understand if I’m late due to helping a lady in distress.”

How could I say no? Spend more time with Greg and get a ride home.

He parked in front of my building and held my hand, rubbing his thumb over my skin. He leaned over and kissed me then, a good kiss. I leaned in closer, took off my winter gloves and slid my hands up inside his coat, under his suit. I held him that way while he deepened the kiss. His heart beat against the palm of my hand.

“Jane…” He moaned, his breath feathering over my face. “I thought of so many things to say, to break the ice, to meet you. It was all so silly sounding when I looked at you.” He pulled back to look at my face close up, just a whisper away. “I really want to make love to you, tonight. I’ve thought about what you must look like under all those layers of clothes. I’ve thought about how much I want to feel your body pressed against mine.” He unbuttoned his coat and pulled it off.

I said nothing, I could hear my own breathing, heavy and fast and excited. I licked my lips. My fingers began working on the buttons of his suit jacket and then the shirt under it. “Jane, not here in the car. Let’s go somewhere at least warm where we can have some room and enough light to see each other.”

“We can go inside, to my place.” I felt so brazen, like a slut. But it was what I wanted and I had been sweet and shy a long time, spending too much time alone.

I would have liked more time, a long slow lovemaking. My clothes were off and on the floor before I had thought about how I should ask him about using a condom. He had one and had it on himself by the time we stepped into my bedroom. On the bed he ravished me, just as the fictional heros in a romance novel did. I never thought any of that was based on reality. Yet, it felt good, quick and fast and deep and penetrating. Even though it was over too soon I felt I had really been loved. My orgasm hung on for days and then the final release was shattering, thundering through my body. He rested beside me, our hearts still pounding and our breath not yet slowing down.

“Thank you.” I said, in a whisper.

He got up then and began pulling on his clothes. I was startled that he would be in such a hurry to leave after that. But, he did.

Almost like a real old fashioned date, I even got a good night kiss from him. He gave me his phone number and his email address. Pressing his business card into my hand he looked into my eyes and told me he really hoped I would call, tonight even. I said I would.

I did too, once I called CAA and heard them laugh over the phone about my snowbound car. The tow brought it to my house. He even made sure it started before he left. Said it happened a few times every winter and suggested I don’t park there just because it seemed like a good spot while there wasn’t any snow.

I had a hot shower and nuked something for a single girl’s dinner. Then I phoned Greg, or I would have. I couldn’t find the business card he had written on. Of course I looked everywhere it could possibly be, even a few places it really couldn’t have been. I was frustrated but at least I would see him on the train tomorrow.

I never did though. I tried to find him in town. I looked at the nursing homes in the area, I asked about any new women who had just moved in the past week. No luck. I wrote a list about every smallest thing I knew about him but each clue I followed up on ended up getting me nowhere.

It was a big mystery.

I stayed living in that small town and working downtown for a few years more. Eventually I met a guy and we married and had a few kids, three of them. We moved to his town. I created my own business from home, gift baskets. It did quite well. The kids grew up happy and my husband and I got along well. It was the white picket fence life, revamped for the digital age.

One day out of the blue I saw Greg again. He looked just the same. I was older, more than 15 years had gone by. But, there he was, the same. He was at the train station of all places. I had gone in to get a schedule for my sister who was planning to visit us. Greg was sitting on one of the benches.

I stopped, just looking at him, totally surprised. Life seemed to swirl around me and come back full circle. As if I had just stepped out to make a phone call and now I was back.

He turned and faced me. He smiled but it wasn’t the same. He recognized me but his look was rueful, as if he regretted something but could do nothing about it. Somehow my feet moved and I sat down beside him. My face felt kind of stiff and no words were coming to my mouth though plenty were spilling around in my mind.

“It’s nice to see you again, Jane.” He said, kindly, as you would speak to an old friend. “You look good, life seems to have treated you well.” He got up then and just started walking away. I turned to say something but he wasn’t there. Vanished. I sat there, stunned. The bus schedule I had been holding slipped from my fingers.

“You dropped this.” One of the station staff handed me back the schedule.

“Thanks” I muttered.

“Funny, you look like you’ve seen a ghost.” she smiled. “Funny, I took yesterday off work cause it was the anniversary of my brother’s death. He was killed by a drunk driver here, fifteen years ago.” She smiled again, “Did you see him? A nice tall bald guy in a suit? Always a smile for everyone.” She sighed, “I still miss him.”

She walked off in her own thoughts. I sat there awhile longer, remembering a young man I used to know from the commuter train.

Back to the Beaches

I think I will be back to the Beaches apartment today, tonight. I did actually miss it once while I have been away. The upstairs tenants are noisy and seem to have a fetish for chair scraping. It’s dark with only one window which the people upstairs have blocked off with a garden shed thing. But, my computer is there. Home is where the PC is, right? 😉

I would say I love my computer but I am too much looking forward to replacing it with a newer model so that’s not really love just some twisted kind of lust.

I have almost 200 pictures on the digital camera to upload. I did get out to that derelict farmhouse off the 400 highway. It was really nice up close. I especially like the main doorway. Quite fancy for an old farmhouse in the middle of nowhere. I even found an old Pyrex bowl there and brought it home. It was SO stinky but after bleaching it and multi-washing it is ok and stink free. Pretty too as you will see when I post it’s photo.

I’ve been making an extensive list of books lost due to the water. I think I need to get the current prices for all of them, in order for the insurance to know how much they would cost to replace. I think that’s how it works. Nothing with paper involved is ever that simple though.

It is my neice’s birthday today, she is 3 but looks about two. Her name is Emma Jeanne. She has a new short hair cut cause her older sister gave them both a haircut a couple of weeks ago. I never did get good pictures of that. The haircuts were actually quite well done for a girl not quite four years old. I think she just wanted to get all that baby hair out of her face. Good job Roxanne! They really were good cuts, I’m not being sarcastic. Of course her Mother didn’t think so. I think it’s a parent’s job to not think a little girl can cut hair well, as if she can’t be a genius until she’s older.

I’m having kind of happy day even though things are pretty crazy. See you tonight if I get the Internet set up without any problems.