Liar liar Pants on Fire

People lie. Why we don’t always know but we do know that people lie. Frequently.Some lies are between friends, to keep things running smoothly and make people happy. The gentle lies that tell a friend she looks great even though that dress is a bit too clingy or too yellow. Most lies are selfish though. You want something so you lie to get it. Kind of rude in a way. Also, do you really have it if you couldn’t get it on your own merits? Think about that one.

I’m feeling kind of discouraged today. I’m going to the bookstore and have a fancy coffee and forget about people for awhile.

Deserted Island Personality Quiz

You’re about ot be dropped off on a deserted island. Take a look at the list of items below and on a piece of paper jot down only 10 of the things listed. Each choice indicates something about you. After choosing your 10 items read on to see what your choice means!
(*NOTE: This is not what you need, this is what you want.)

Pick 10 of these before you scroll down:

Bottle of Water
Bowl of Fruit
Cordless Phone
First-Aid Kit
Genie Lamp
Sun Tan Lotion
Treasure Chest
Tropical Punch

Balloon- Although you’re very creative you need to stop spending so much time dreaming.

Bikini- Showing off is your favorite activity because you’re a total extrovert who loves to be the center of attention. Try not to let your wild way overshadow your quieter buds.

Boat- This is a sign of a prosperous future. Boats can be found in calm or stormy water, both of which are on the horizon for you.

Bottle of Water- The waters of love will never run dry for you. You’ve got every reason to be positive about your future. Life definitley appears rosy.

Bowl of Fruit- A great listener, you love to lend a sympathetic ear and you find it easy to show your emotions. Remember to occasionally put your own feelings first sometimes.

Camera- Much of your time is spent reflecting on what others think of you.Don’t dwell on the past so much.

Candles- This is a symbol of very good health. In fact all aspects of your life will be healthy, from the meag amounts of cash you’ll receive to the fab love life you’ll create.

Cat- A great omen. This indicates you’ll be purr-fectly happy in your future, and will have loads of luck, especially where cash in concerned.

Clock- Your totally obsessive about time and tend to worry about things way too much.

Compass- Leadership is your strongest quality, and your pals rely on your for your organiztional skills. Just make sure they dont take advantage of you.

Cordless Phone- You love nothing more than getting the lowdown on some good gossip. Making people laugh is your ultimate goal-just make sure you’re taken seriously when you want to be.

Crown- Your friends know you’ll always say yes to a party… even when you’re not invited! That’s ok though because you should never underestimate your bluffing ability.

Cupcake- Symbols of food usually indicates that you’re a person that lives life to teh fullest and enjoys every minute of it.

Fire- Your short fuse needs to be kept under control, cause even thoughyou try hard to curb your temper, now and then you lose it… learn to chill out a little more!

First Aid Kit- Your practical nature is invaluable to your friends, whose problems you spend so much of your energy sorting out. Don’t forget to take some time to do things for yourself.

Flashlight- No matter what you always look on the bright side. Your opomism will you see through all teh good and bad times you encounter.

Flip Flops- You’re a major trend setter who just can’t get enough of the style scene. You also have a bad habit of breaking dates and letting people down.

Genie Lamp- This spiritual object symbolizes psychic potential.

Hat- Even though you definitely prefer the shade, you’ll soon end up stealing the limelight, and loving every minute of it. Cast your shyness aside and live it up a little bit!

Key- You’re deep and intelligent who is constantly searching for stimulating, new activities. Make sure you let your hair down sometimes.

Lip Stick- You’re usually quite happy with the way you look, but you’ve been known to get obsessed with your image.

Map- You plan every aspect of you life well in advance. You don’t cope well with change or spontaneous decisions.

Mirror- On a good day, your friends would describe you as tactful. On a bad day you can seem twofaced. Remember to THINK before you SPEAK.

Scissors- In teh next few months you’ll have a difficult decision to make. Think of all your options carefully, but don’t fret. You’ll make the right choice.

Shower- Untrue words never escape from your mouth. Tell little white lies sometimes, it’s okay to be tactful.

Sun Tan Lotion- Like a bottle of sunscreen you’re around to protect people.

Treasure Chest- Your buds know you love the good things in life and you’ll object if you dont get your own way.

Tropical Punch- You’re a serious partyer who needs constant distractions to stay entertained and interested. Don’t expect your quieter friends to keep up.

Umbrella- Total loyalty is what you stand for and your buds know that you’d never let them down. Try not to guiilt-trip them if they’re not as devoted as you.

Being in Love

I’m kind of scared. I’m trying not to be. David probably isn’t scared, not much anyway. I’m not sure how he is doing it. How do you take a big chance on someone? How do you just let them become such a big, important part of your life? How do you love someone? I’m starting to love David.

But, I’ve been here before with these online things. At least three times that come to mind now. One was Dave, the helicopter pilot. He wanted me to move to Oregon. He wanted me to do kinky things to him that I wasn’t really sure about. But we talked a lot. He was the channel owner of the chat channel on IRC. I liked being the main squeeze of the guy in charge. I know that was probably what made him attractive to me at the time. Then, one night the rug began to slip out. I had to drown a few kittens that day, a mercy killing. It was horrible and I came online pretty upset and just wanted him to listen and sympathize. He couldn’t. He just wanted to talk about himself. My needs were pushed aside so he could tell me about his own. That was when I knew this wasn’t going to be the guy I wanted. Later he had a terrible accident in the helicopter, delivering Christmas trees. But, even before that I knew I wanted out. It was just harder not to feel like a bitch when I left. I did though. Yes, he needed someone, but it didn’t matter if it was me or some other female. Anyway, he was never the same after the accident.

There was Sherkhan (Richard) before helicopter Dave. But that ended as friends, good friends. I do miss him and wish him all the best. Last I heard he was with another online friend. They’ve been together awhile now. I wish I hadn’t lost their email addresses. Too much moving and computer death.

There are three more I’ve thought of as I type this: Artistry (Dale), Chris and Lynn my dragon friend. Lynn and I were never romantic. But, I wondered. I loved him in some way, more than just a friend. I don’t know what he felt, he was kind of closed off. A hard person to really know. I did feel love for him but it wasn’t romantic or like brother and sister really. Maybe it was a seed that never sprouted.

Artistry, there’s a story I’ll never know the end to. I was brand new online. I fell madly in love. I thought he felt something. I don’t know really. I think he played games and even if he really did have feelings for me I think the games mattered more to him. He made a sudden departure. It was a crushing defeat for me, for awhile. I lost all those feelings of being in love. I’d never felt that before or since. Not the passion, the way the colours in the world were all brighter and the way I could read a romance novel and really… get it! Artistry betrayed me, lied and then never would tell me what changed. Maybe he never felt anything. But I did. That much I’ve kept.

Chris then, the one that hid himself away. I think of Chris the most of them all. I wrote erotic stories for Chris. I made him my online lover. He was an Englishman living in Hong Kong. When I wrote him an email it was noon my time and midnight his time. But we were friends, real friends. I could tell him anything and I did tell him a lot. I know he cared for me at least as much as I cared for him. But, he couldn’t take that final chance of actually meeting. He was a Scorpio. I’ve come to know how secretive Scorpios are. He just kept to the pattern. But, I’d be glad to talk to Chris again. I would love to know he missed me and our talks and our stories. I don’t need him to love me. That’s passed. But I miss that wonderful, warm friend. He will always be special in my life.

I married Todd. But I don’t include him in the online romances. We were penpals for over 20 years then we met face to face. He kissed me and said there were sparks. But it ended in a divorce a few years later.

Now there is David. He tells me he loves me and I believe what he says. I just find it hard to believe it’s me this is happening to. I’d given up after Todd. But I’m forever an optimist. I tried to meet more men. I answered their brief emails with as much of my whole heart as I could dig up. But each one fell flat. No answering beat, no pulse, no feeling. After a few of those I didn’t even want to try. I wanted to beat men up in general. Those unfeeling clods! How dare they not see me. How dare they talk about the great woman they want to meet and then ignore me when I’m sitting right here! How dare they start something they can’t bother to finish? How dare they strike a match and leave it to burn itself out, unnoticed.

So here I am now and there’s David. I’m afraid it will be some joke of fate. After all this time how can I now find someone that really does want me in spite of everything. It can’t be real. I keep sending him reasons he shouldn’t love me. In case he changes his mind now when it’s not too hard for me to lose him. But he still says he loves me and he’ll wait right here for me. He’s coming here for me. He didn’t even expect me to move there. He’s moving here, uprooting his life and his computer and coming here. There is nothing here but me. How can I live up to that? What if I’m not good enough? Not that I think I’m not. Mostly some of the time. Now and then I feel I’m half of a really great couple, the sort of couple who grow old together and are the envy of all their grandchildren. Now and then it’s so close I can almost taste it. But I’m still alone. It’s not easy to have faith but I’m trying. I’m trying for David cause I think he’s worth it. I am too.

Talk Like a Pirate

You are a Pirate Second Class

Do you remember the last time you took
a chance? I do. It was when you decided
to leave the security of your mother’s womb
and headed for the bright light. It’s time
to head for the next bright light, my friend.
Creativity is not your strong suit. You
are good at doing what you are told to do
and that, in itself, is a gift. It’s not a
gift to you, mind you, but rather a gift to
those who will be there to tell you what
to do. You like long walks on the beach and
cuddling, but would never admit that to your
Guy friends who think you are okay but can’t
always remember your name. Tapioca pudding
seems a bit extreme for a fellow such as
yerself, what with all the bumps and stuff.
It’s a good thing ye be on a pirate ship,
otherwise, ye’d would be walkin’ because ye be
positively pedestrian. Have a nice day.

What’s Yer Inner Pirate?
brought to you by The Official Talk Like A Pirate Web Site. Arrrrr!

Should She or Shouldn't She?

I feel like Dmoz has become a wasteland. My contributions there are not really appreciated and it’s like a sink hole for all the time spent on it. I rejoined about a year ago because I thought I could still do some good. Now, I feel like I’m spinning my wheels and the only time anyone notices me is when they feel they have to invite me to some useless meeting about making nit picky changes to categories. Anyway, I don’t really know anyone there these days. I used to have friends when it was still a community.

I think the only reason I’m still there is because I’ve been there so long. I don’t really feel like I’m doing any good these days. I certainly know it’s not appreciated.