Your Inner Child

My inner child is ten years old today

My inner child is ten years old!

The adult world is pretty irrelevant to me. Whether
I’m off on my bicycle (or pony) exploring, lost
in a good book, or giggling with my best
friend, I live in a world apart, one full of
adventure and wonder and other stuff adults
don’t understand.

How Old is Your Inner Child?
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I don’t think too much about the whole inner child deal. Considering yourself as a child seems a bit… childish. My ex-husband thought I needed to be more childish, he wanted me to play with him with comics, toys (No, not those adult toys) and such. I just wasn’t into that. Maybe it depends on what you did when you were a kid. I had fun as a kid, a brother and two sisters. We did a lot of things kids usually do. But, I was still the oldest and the one who made sure everyone had bus fare to get home at the end of the day. That kind of stuff older sisters are supposed to do. I liked doing it all too. So, maybe I did all my kid stuff when I was a kid and now I want to do the adult stuff. Not that I’m stuffy and never have fun. I just enjoy adult fun more than kid stuff.

Too Alone in the World

Sometimes I feel like a tiny pin prick of an island on the huge map of the world. Who knows anything about one pin prick sized dot. Maybe it’s only a bit of fluff dropped from someone’s clothes? Maybe it’s just a bit of sauce from the french fries served at lunch? Maybe it’s a squished bug? Or maybe it’s a whole island unto itself.

There is so much to do with the moving. Still. Always. Eternally so. But, in this moving there are really only two days left to get it all done. Sickening, frustrating, maddening and far too crazy for me.

I got mad at the garage door opener when I came home last night after work. It fell apart and when I couldn’t get it to work I rolled down my car window and pitched it out into a handy snow bank. They’ll find it in the Spring.

I’d say I’ll be glad when this is done. But it won’t be done. I’ve moved too many times to want to tackle the unpacking. It seems pointless to unpack only to pack again. I drift along, rootless and at times pot bound. Too much family with opinions about all I do wrong and how I should be doing everything in a different way. Where am I in all of this? I reach out to grab at some trailing part of myself and there are just boxes, waiting to be packed, or unpacked. I can’t see inside.

I'm Home Again

When you climb a high hill you have to fall down eventually. At least I’m home again, with bruises but this time I didn’t lose an anything I haven’t lost before.

There’s always the question of was it worth it and would you climb another high hill. I expect I will, in time. I seem to be destined to keep climbing hills no matter how much I wish I’d just stop and stay home where it’s always the same, not happy maybe but comfortable.

Right now I’m glad to rest awhile between high hills.

A Tired Day

News flash! I’m tired. 😀 I’m always tired, that’s not news. Some days lots of thing happen but you don’t feel any inspiration to write about them. So, here are the facts. I went out to a Pagan store, chatted and bought a silver pentagram to wear on the chain I bought at Zellers last week. I bought a red jasper stone which she made into a pendant for me too. She did a great job weaving the silver wire around the stone, I love it. The Hedge Witch was the store. I managed to chat and discover someone else who doesn’t believe in the Goddess either. That was a bonus.

Anyway, from there I drove to the movie theatre only I left as it looked closed. Even after going out for lunch there were no cars there and it was late in the day for them to still be closed. After lunch and checking the theatre again I drove across the street to all the new stores being built. There was a Michael’s Craft store so I went in and spent more money. I bought some Christmas craft beading with safety pins kits. I’d like to get into wire beading stuff. Not just beading, any goof any thread beads and tie a knot to keep them from sliding off. The wire stuff looks interesting and not too expensive. The biggest expense would be the copper (or silver) wire itself and the tools (wire cutters and pliers).

I drove home, wished I was in the right lane to hit the Chapters bookstore for the new issue of The Writer magazine. But, I’m working tomorrow and can pop in after work. I came home and Mom wanted to go out for dinner and look at a house in Innisfil which calls itself a town but isn’t even on the map as a town. It seems to be a county. It’s just one more odd map related issue. So we did go out, found the house and Mom is already coming up with reasons why it’s not the right one. I’m sure she will find her right one but (for myself) it would be really nice to know where we are moving to.

Which brings up the whole issue of ‘why am I moving with them’. I don’t especially want to. That wasn’t my intention when I came up here after the divorce. I don’t even want to write more about this tonight. I feel like I’m writing to please you (the anonymous busy body masses) not for myself. You always screw up when you put your reader too far ahead of your own self. At least for a journal.

Well, I’m tired. Seems like I’ve typed that a few thousand times this year alone. Nightie night.

PS- Pat, if you read this before I email you. I got the CD’s yesterday. Thanks. 🙂 I haven’t even started listening to them. Not in the right mood. Can anyone spend a few hours with their Mother and come away feeling sexy? Of course, now I feel guilty for typing that. It’s all a circle.

My Career Horoscope

Sagittarius
As a far-sighted and truth-seeking Sagittarius, you are concerned with the well-being of society. You feel at home with abstract ideas, principles, and beliefs. Open-minded and future oriented, liberty and freedom are important to you.

Professions that allow you to explore and expand – physically and intellectually – are perfect for you. Therefore, you may like careers that allow you to work in other countries, or at least travel to distant places. Working for a university, a church, or other institutions that fight for a cause, may also appeal to you.

In case you are a Sagittarian woman, you could find professions in the tourism industry interesting, and may enjoy working for a travel agent, an airline, or a hotel chain.

If you are a male Sagittarius, your principled and ethical nature may cause you to choose a legal profession, in the fields of commercial or business law, civil law, or fair trading law. Due to your cosmopolitan nature, you would make an excellent diplomat, who works in an embassy in another country.

Among your coworkers, you are known for being optimistic and philosophical in your approach of life. They know that they can count on your honesty and that you stick to your promises. However, once in a while they may get annoyed by your hypocritical statements.

You are a great boss and know how to lead a team! You plan ahead wisely and are very goal oriented. You have the gift to inspire and encourage your team, and let them work independently.

The secret of your success is your energetic and outgoing nature, which allows you to achieve your goals through the power of positive thinking.