Fes Up Challenge from Facebook

This was posted by Bev. Here are my answers.

‘Fess up challenge!
-bath or shower? Shower
-straight or curly hair? Curly
-favorite movie? Not really.
-favorite holiday? St. Patrick’s Day
-Android or iPhone? Landline only.
– texting or calling? Email.
-Facebook or Twitter? Twitter
– favorite type of food? Mexican but not spicy and no cilantro.
– dream job? Evil villain or horror writer.
-favorite pizza? homemade with mozzarella cheese
– favorite cake? homemade cheesecake
– night or day? Very early morning.
-summer or winter? Winter
-wine or whiskey? Pass the coffee.
– favorite egg style? fried in butter on a toasted plain bagel.
-favorite TV show? Not really
-hair up or down? Got a shorter cut now I mostly just let it do what it wants.Or I tame it with a bandana when it goes too far.
-jeans or leggings? Sort of track yoga pants. I don’t want something clinging to my curves or showing my ass.
-favorite rock band? None.
-favorite color? Dark red, sometimes orange or blue.
-pullover or button-up shirt? Sack, with sleeves.
-flip flops or sneakers? Bare feet or clogs. Boots if there is snow.
-big pursue or small? Massive. I’m prepared for impulse travel.Plus, I always bring a book, a camera… other stuff.
-how many tattoos? None
– how many piercings? Five in my ear lobes have never healed over from a piercing accident in my youth.
-diamonds or pearls? I prefer Rhinestones with a lot of flashy colours.
– favorite animal? Cats, barn cats, feral or big cats.
– Rap or country music? Turn that down!
-Hiking or fishing? Exploring without harming worms or spiders.
– favorite place to shop? Second hand stores.
– best feature? My face. I’m 50+ and no one believes me. (They aren’t just being nice to the crazy, old lady).

I Want to See a Fat Girl

I want to see a fat girl in a leading role of a film.

I want to see a fat girl in a leading role of a film that isn’t about her weight.

I want to see a fat girl wearing mini skirts or just whatever the fuck she’s comfortable in.

I want to see a fat girl kick some bad guy’s ass.

I want to see a fat girl be the one that the guy/girl falls in love with at first sight instead of just the fat girl the guys all make fun of first before getting to the stereotypical blond, thin white girl.

I want to see a fat girl who isn’t the thin girl’s funny friend.

I want to see a fat girl love scene.

I want to see a fat girl be a fucking survivor of a god damned fucking zombie apocalypse!  Fuck you and your rule #1, Zombieland!

I want to see a fat Disney princess.

I want to see a badass fat girl who is sardonic and smokes, and when someone comments on her weight and how smoking makes it worse, she just blows smoke right in their faces.

I want to see a fat girl who loves to screw and isn’t ashamed of the fact.

I want to see a fat girl’s leading man/woman punch some guy in the fact for making fun of her.

I want to see a fat girl be something that is not her weight.  I don’t want her to be the butt of every joke.  I don’t want her to be the one who’s constantly rejected, or the one who has to fight to accept herself and have others around her accept who she is.  I’m tired of seeing roles for fat girls that are only about her weight.  I want to see a fat girl living her normal existence.  I want to see her know she’s beautiful and not have to go through some huge challenge of loving herself.  I’m tired of seeing horror films with only a thin cast.  Fatties can run, too, a lot of times faster than you can and I can guarantee fatties can probably beat a bad guy up better, too.

I WANT TO SEE A FAT GIRL, HOLLYWOOD!

via Internal Acceptance Movement, I Want to See a Fat Girl.

The Book Reading Meme

I’m starting to feel like something alive again.

Here is a meme about books which came from The Road I’m Traveling to Word Grrls. But Word Grrls isn’t going to be a personal blog so I’d rather not run memes on it.

The rules for the meme:

“Open the book closest to you, not your favorite or most intellectual book, but the book closest to you at the moment, to page 56. Write out the fifth sentence, as well as two to five sentences following there.”

The book closest to me right now is the one I just started reading this morning. I have been waiting (impatiently) for the next in her series to come out in paperback. It’s from Kelley Armstrong, a Canadian paranormal fiction writer. Her books are often stuck in the horror shelves though. The title is Personal Demon and I’m not as far as page #56 so this feels a bit like sneaking a peek ahead. Which I do, upon occasion. Usually cause I hate finding out the long, hard way that a character I like is going to come to a bad end. One thing good about not reading standard romance fiction is that sometimes there are bad ends. It’s unpredictable.

The young man grinned. “I believe I can manage.”

“Just don’t talk her ear off. I want you both back by nine. You’re on floor duty tonight. Oh, introductions. Faith, Jasper. Jasper, Faith.”

Just Empty Space

I think of space when I think of that day. Kind of odd I guess. But space as an element, a thing you can almost reach out and touch, something that you could hear if you listen during a quiet time.

An empty space is mysterious and unknown. That’s likely why we fear it. Around the corner, at the other side of a dark room, the backseat of the car when you know no one is sitting there. Our hitchhiker was like that. Something in the space that you could almost feel but not actually see, smell or touch. Just something sensed enough to give a creepy feeling and start us looking into dark corners expecting to see her there.

Her, was the girl who died, of course. Alone, in the rainstorm, under a bridge, she drowned in her over turned car. I thought it was a sad way to die. Hoping to be found and yet time passing with no help. Could she see the clock on her dashboard, watch the seconds and minutes pass as she died. The water rising but not filling the car quite enough to ease the pressure so she could force open a door and escape. Or was she already gone when she hit the water? Did she never even know she was dying until she was dead?

Did she now wait on the bridge, looking at the world of the living and want to come back, to join us again or just finally get home.

My husband parked the car there, at her bridge. He’d noticed the floral offerings at the side of the road and wanted to take a look. We often made road trips to cemeteries, abandoned farms and houses. He liked to put them in a more gruesome and haunted light. He’s into horror. I’m not a horror fan, not someone who’d stay up after midnight to watch movies about murderers, violence and gore.

He remembered hearing about the accident and her death on the news. We talked about it. I was sad for her. There was nothing left of the car of course, it had all been towed away, put away and dealt with. He wanted to take a better look, maybe find some car part left over or something of hers which had been overlooked. So he picked his way down the weeds and stepped around the muddy shore searching for a souvenir.

I took some photos of her flowers. They were looking pretty weathered and shabby but I was glad her family and friends had given her a memorial, a tribute. Then we got back in the car, thinking of how welcome a hot chocolate would be. The girl was in my mind, as any tragic figure lingers awhile before becoming just a memory and passing thought.

Did he look over his shoulder first or did I? I’m not sure. More likely my husband did, he was driving and had a reason to check the rear view mirror now and then. He didn’t say anything. Just drove on down those wet dirt country roads, splashing through puddles but not laughing about the spray of water as he usually would have. I decided he was feeling a bit somber, as I was myself. When I noticed he was a bit jumpy I laughed and asked if we were being followed, maybe he wanted to play at being secret agents and spies as he sometimes liked to do on drives along quiet roads.

He didn’t answer right away. Then he asked if I could see, or did I feel, anyone in the car, in the backseat. I gave a quick look, humouring him. I was all set to say “Of course not”, but I did catch something out of the corner of my eye. Just something in that space. I turned around in my seat, pushing the seat belt off my neck, for a better look. Nothing. Of course nothing. We hadn’t brought anyone else along, not a dog, not so much as a goldfish.

“No”, I said. I didn’t laugh or make a joke about it though.

We drove farther, closer to the road into town. Each of us would sneak backward looks. I could see him look in the rear view mirror several times on a road where we were the only traffic.

He pulled the mirror down to focus on the back seat. I scrunched down to watch the back from the passenger side mirror. It began to feel really creepy in that car. Something was in that space of nothingness, something we couldn’t see.

Just behind my head I could feel eyes, keeping silent, soundless as the dead, ironically. We hardly dared to breathe ourselves. I wished my husband could find the bravery I lacked and flip on the radio. Surely something as normal and ordinary as the radio could chase away the skin crawling creepiness of whatever lurked in the backseat.

She must have been so cold, dying in that deeply chilled water. How desperate she must be now to find some warmth, something human, to not be alone and quite so dead. If you believe in ghosts surely you could see how she might want to sit in our warm backseat with the heater making the car so toasty warm. Only now I was getting chilled just thinking about heat sucking ghosts sitting just out of sight, right behind me.

Another quick flick of my eyes to the backseat. My imagination pictured her sitting there. Her eyes dark and haunted, bruised looking. Her body so cold, right through, unable to feel warmth. Dripping water. I imagined hearing the little plop, plop, plop of water as it dripped from her cold, dead self. Maybe she would shiver, not knowing that a ghost isn’t alive and wouldn’t need to shiver.

It was a long trip back to town, we didn’t speak again. How can you speak about what isn’t there.

At the coffee shop, back in the living world where the spaces are all filled with artificial light, noise from the living and the smell of bacon and eggs, it was very easy to shake off the creepy feeling and put it down to just imagination. But, the feeling came with us when we got back in the car. I feel it still.

It’s been days since we took that road trip. I’m often alone in our apartment after my husband takes the car to work. Those spaces of time which I used to do laundry, make dinner, wash dishes and vacuum are no longer just the passing of time. My space is captured by something I only feel, see out of the corner of my eye. It’s her I’m sure. I think she is sad, missing the people she knew and the things she liked to do.

Since that day at the bridge I’ve stopped looking in the backseat when I’m in the car. I avoid mirrors especially, they give me a very creepy feeling. When I brush my teeth each morning I look down, avoiding my own eyes and anything that might be in that space behind me. I never take that space for granted any more.

You see, she isn’t the only one there now. I think they followed her to our home. Someday they’ll fill all that space. Taking it all. I hardly dare to take a real breath any more. I never look into corners and I always have the lights on. Someday they will suck out all the space around me. I don’t know what will happen then, when the dead fill the space of the living. My husband thinks I’m crazy so I just don’t talk to him about it any more. But I can see he gets nervous too, sometimes after dark when the apartment is quiet and he gets that creepy sense of something else, something that hitchhiked back into the living world with us and won’t now let us go.


My Halloween story. By me.

Get 31 Days of Halloween chills and thrills on Calpurnius.

Bacteria…. The Bastard!

I’m a bit out out commission. My left arm has a little vampire attached, for another 3 days. My left leg, below the knee, has a flesh eating bacteria. If you really must know it’s not as bad as it was when it was looking like flesh pudding on Thursday. I went to the hospital on Friday, they put me in isolation for three hours. But I left after I had flesh preserving antibiotics and a new little vampire friend attached to my arm, neatly covered in gauze.

The bacteria that wants to eat me is called cellulitis. Should you want to find out more Wikipedia even has photos. I considered photos myself but decided to just draw it, a couple of times so far. Does anyone really know what bacteria looks like?

I don’t know just how I got it. Anyone can. A little wound or small hole in the skin and the bacteria can creep in. If I hadn’t been so dead sick on Tuesday and Wednesday I might have gone in to get the creeping flesh pudding on my leg checked out sooner. But, it really just started as a sore leg, then a reddish skin leg which was hot to the touch. Who would think that was anything serious? I didn’t.

But, I was pretty much not on the planet until Thursday. That was when I managed to do something other than sleep, shiver and puke. On Thursday the calf of my leg was flaming red (all but oozing) and a lot less than attractive looking. (I’d go into detail but really, flesh pudding like something out of a horror movie, just works so well). But I still wasn’t sure about going anywhere to get it looked at. I always think these kind of things will just fix themselves or that I can fix them if I just find the right stuff.

It’s not fun to type with an IV vampire hooker thing in my arm. It’s weird to feel it move. Though I think/ hope some of that is just the tape attached to my skin around it. Can’t see it under the gauze and I’m ok with keeping it covered. Out of sight if not out of mind.

So I’m not doing as much blogging or Entrecarding or whatever it is I do when I’m here. I need to catch up on WordGrrls tomorrow. Also write something for a few other sites and places. At least I caught up my blog! Likely it wasn’t the most important thing on my list, but it was the one I most wanted to do.

Typing is over for tonight. Sleep well and be nice to any little vampires you might have yourself. They may not be especially nice but they want to be good.

The Monster in my Eye

New tagline for this blog… “Exploring myself, one rock at a time.”

So, how are the rocks in your head today? Mine are clunking around up there. I think I almost was asked out today at work. I’ve never had a guy actually pursue me. It would be nice. Seems I am usually the one who starts things, arranges get togethers and such. It’s not the same as having someone else do the work, the planning and the asking. It would be nice to be pursued. I’m not going to hold my breath. I will hold my breath many years from now, when it won’t matter any more as far as having oxygen in my brain. Maybe, it will work, I’ll finally get all those things I wasn’t going to hold my breath for. That would be an interesting time in my life, if I could live to see it.

Can your eyeballs still function on some level once you are brain dead? There’s a new horror movie in the making.

The best ideas for horror come from every day real things. We take so much for granted. Yes, the bus doors will open – the bus driver isn’t about to fly off the handle and haul everyone around all day against their will. Yes, the coffee you make that morning is about the same as the coffee you made yesterday morning – there wasn’t a stow away venomous spider hiding in the coffee beans. Yes, your eyeballs are still your same old eyeballs – an alien didn’t drop down into your room last night and replace them with marbles or some other weird alien eyeballs. Horror and science fiction can just have so many endless spins put on a simple idea.

Day off tomorrow! Ha ha ha!!! and more mad scientist evile laughter Can’t decide if I should sleep in first or go grocery shopping. Oh, the excitement!…

I did my laundry yesterday so I spoiled that part of my weekend of fun. Too bad. I will just have to get over it.

Next weekend is a pay cheque weekend. I may actually do something that involves wearing laundry (clean) and spending money on something less than practical. I could even go all out and give that guy at work my email address and the mention of going for a Rrrroll up the Rrrrim (coffee at Tim Hortons). See how that happens, the not being pursued thing? Is it because I’m just not patient? Perhaps. I do like to get started once I decide on something.

One last bit of babble.. I think the coffee I bought from Second Cup a couple of weeks ago is NOT french vanilla. It does not taste right at all. I had the caramel first so didn’t start what should have been french vanilla until today. I don’t like whatever it is I have instead of french vanilla. I think it might be one of those with a nut flavour. Now I have two bags of it, whatever it is. Kind of aggravating when it was not cheap AND the guy at the store made some major goof up and sold me twice the amount of coffee I asked for. I really doubt they would go for letting me return it for real french vanilla now. Look, there’s another idea for a horror story. I’m just full of them today. Rocks and monsters, that’s what I’ve got in my head.

Another Day Off

Back to real life again tomorrow when I have to go into work, the start of the work week for me. I’m thinking about leaving extra early cause I need to find a bank on the bus route and get in early to get on the computer and do my application/ interview for that admin job at the same company. I’m not sure about it. Maybe more responsibility than I really want. Maybe, likely, more reception than I ever want to do again. But, I did like the part about making plans to help with morale and other such things. It didn’t sound quite like the average, plain, grindingly dull admin job. I hope. No one to ask questions of so far. Which is kind of funny in a not good way. Or I could be missing something. It’s been known to happen. Upon occasion.

I didn’t do much today either. I did get dressed sometime after 1:00 this afternoon. I slept in and then read in bed till I started getting hungry enough to push myself out and get something for lunch. I had cold chinese food cause I decided to order chinese late last night. I really like egg foo young, that chinese omelette. It makes a very good lazy woman’s brunch. After all it was like my Sunday today, just the right day for sunday brunch.

I’m thinking of making a second coffee now. It would be nice to have a hot drink.

I’ve had the science fiction channel on TV most of the day. It’s begun repeating the same shows now. Kind of dull of them. Too bad they don’t have enough selection to run all new shows all day. I wish they had Doctor Who, the new series especially. Also, more of those old science fiction shows, like those made here in Canada. Most are pretty backwoods looking but that just makes them even more fun to watch. Instead the Space channel (that’s what it’s called) runs a mix of science fiction and horror. I could do without the horror. Just like bookstores that mix the science fiction with fantasy titles. It’s kind of annoying.

I had three fortune cookies with the chinese food:

As the wallet grows, so do the needs.

Don’t worry about money. The best things in life are free.

Be prepared to modify your plan.

  • I opend this one this afternoon. Seems like they were trying to tell me it was more than time I accomplished something with this time off. Too bad the hint came so late in the day… not really enough time to get anything started now… I’ll just have to add it to the list for tomorrow.

Pink Raygun

Pink Raygun is a webzine for the modern fangirl. It’s a smart and savvy place to discuss and read about science fiction, fantasy and horror in all of their forms, be it television, movies, books or comics.

Every day at Pink Raygun, you’ll find interviews with the women (and some men) who make genre film and television awesome: writers, costume designers, hair and make-up artists, and special effects crew. We’ll also talk to women (and some men) who are working in manga, comics and fiction.

Other features of Pink Raygun include genre news, a message board forum, opinion pieces addressing issues within scifi, fantasy and horror and an extensive section dedicated to reviews of print and visual media, events, websites and music.

The artist of the ray grrl above is Travis Hanson of Beanleafpress.com. The Pink Raygun graphic was sent in email by the site owner to add a linkback graphic for their site. Pretty nice, eh?

Blogger tip: Find more colours and their codes on the web. Type them in as three number, just as Blogger does. This way you can use colours not available on Blogger, so far. I needed the right neon pink to link to Pink Raygun, Blogger only had a faded pink I couldn’t read.