10 Myths About Introverts

I’m quite social when I’m in a group, especially if there is any kind of common ground. But, once I’m on my own again I become a hermit. I always think it is funny that I am INFP on the Myers Briggs personality test. I didn’t really see myself as an introvert because I do chat away pretty easily to just about anyone. But, this makes sense. Cause I am quiet too and yet social when there is a reason for it.

10 Myths About Introverts

(Posted by Linsey on Facebook).

Myth #1 – Introverts don’t like to talk.
This is not true. Introverts just don’t talk unless they have something to say. They hate small talk. Get an introvert talking about something they are interested in, and they won’t shut up for days.

Myth #2 – Introverts are shy.
Shyness has nothing to do with being an Introvert. Introverts are not necessarily afraid of people. What they need is a reason to interact. They don’t interact for the sake of interacting. If you want to talk to an Introvert, just start talking. Don’t worry about being polite.

Myth #3 – Introverts are rude.
Introverts often don’t see a reason for beating around the bush with social pleasantries. They want everyone to just be real and honest. Unfortunately, this is not acceptable in most settings, so Introverts can feel a lot of pressure to fit in, which they find exhausting.

Myth #4 – Introverts don’t like people.
On the contrary, Introverts intensely value the few friends they have. They can count their close friends on one hand. If you are lucky enough for an introvert to consider you a friend, you probably have a loyal ally for life. Once you have earned their respect as being a person of substance, you’re in.

Myth #5 – Introverts don’t like to go out in public.
Nonsense. Introverts just don’t like to go out in public FOR AS LONG. They also like to avoid the complications that are involved in public activities. They take in data and experiences very quickly, and as a result, don’t need to be there for long to “get it.” They’re ready to go home, recharge, and process it all. In fact, recharging is absolutely crucial for Introverts.

Myth #6 – Introverts always want to be alone.
Introverts are perfectly comfortable with their own thoughts. They think a lot. They daydream. They like to have problems to work on, puzzles to solve. But they can also get incredibly lonely if they don’t have anyone to share their discoveries with. They crave an authentic and sincere connection with one person at a time.

Myth #7 – Introverts are weird.
Introverts are often individualists. They don’t follow the crowd. They’d prefer to be valued for their novel ways of living. They think for themselves and because of that, they often challenge the norm. They don’t make most decisions based on what is popular or trendy.

Myth #8 – Introverts are aloof nerds.
Introverts are people who primarily look inward, paying close attention to their thoughts and emotions. It’s not that they are incapable of paying attention to what is going on around them, it’s just that their inner world is much more stimulating and rewarding to them.

Myth #9 – Introverts don’t know how to relax and have fun.
Introverts typically relax at home or in nature, not in busy public places. Introverts are not thrill seekers and adrenaline junkies. If there is too much talking and noise going on, they shut down. Their brains are too sensitive to the neurotransmitter called Dopamine. Introverts and Extroverts have different dominant neuro-pathways. Just look it up.

Myth #10 – Introverts can fix themselves and become Extroverts.
Introverts cannot “fix themselves” and deserve respect for their natural temperament and contributions to the human race. In fact, one study (Silverman, 1986) showed that the percentage of Introverts increases with IQ.

Compatibility from Plenty of Fish

Plenty of Fish: Your Compatibility Test Results

Self-Confidence

As someone with high self-confidence, you feel quite comfortable interacting with other people. Indeed, you find the company of others very stimulating and enjoy meeting new people. Your relaxed demeanor in groups makes people around you comfortable too. Perhaps because you feel comfortable talking about yourself, others tend to enjoy being around you and perceive you as socially competent.

The confidence that helps you feel comfortable talking to people also spills into your own personal beliefs about yourself. Although you have several strengths, it’s likely that you also acknowledge and accept your weaknesses. But unlike some people, you take full responsibility for your actions—you rarely regret things you’ve done in the past and are not embarrassed easily.

Perhaps the defining feature that sets you apart from most people is the exceptionally high standards that you set for yourself. Your competence in social gatherings as well as at work should provide ample evidence for this. With these characteristics, it’s very likely that people come to you for advice and generally think of you as someone with leader-like qualities.

Family Orientation

As someone who is oriented to familial matters, you value the company of family-members and domestic life. If you have children already, you enjoy spending time with them very much and work hard to be a good parent. If you don’t have children, you very much desire having children in the future. And your preference for cooking and entertaining guests at home will likely ease the transition into parenthood.

You take pride in maintaining and cultivating a healthy family and work hard to achieve this. This natural tendency is easily illustrated by your preference for doing things around the house as opposed to going out to clubs and restaurants.

What really sets you apart from people that are low in family orientation is that you know how to manage your frustrations and work well on your own. This means that you are well-equipped to manage a family without letting all the work that is involved wear you down. However, as someone with strong family values, all the work that is involved in maintaining a tidy home and well-stocked kitchen might occasionally make it difficult for you to finish everything that you need to do.

Self-Control

The self-control personality dimension captures the way in which a person regulates and directs him or herself. Being low in self-control can be both good and bad. Occasionally people may be compelled to follow their intuitions and give in to their temptations, and your degree of self-control makes this likely to happen more often than not. This can be good in circumstances where being relaxed and open are important. However, in situations where it is necessary to be focused and careful, you might find that you do or say things that may be inappropriate.

As someone who exerts little control over your actions, you may find that you commit social blunders that might offend other people and get yourself in trouble. For example, if you’re given responsibility to work on a project that requires close attention to detail, you may be likely to overlook important details because you have difficulty staying focused. Consequently, you might feel more comfortable delegating such tasks to other people who are more detail oriented. Being able to recognize such characteristics in yourself and having more detail-oriented people do such tasks could be an effective way to manage your own stress level.

Low self-control may diminish your effectiveness at work. Acting too relaxed can make it difficult for you to focus on projects that require organized sequences of steps or stages. Thus, your ability to accomplish may be inconsistent. Indeed, it’s possible that you might be criticized periodically for being unreliable or unable to “stay within the lines.” Nonetheless, you may still experience many short-lived pleasures and never be thought of as boring.

Openness

As someone moderate in openness, you have an appreciation for art and nature, but are also down to earth and realistic. On the one hand, it’s likely that you are fond of music and art, and on the other hand, enjoy and appreciate things that have a clear point and some sort of practical utility. Additionally, you have a certain degree of awareness of your own emotions; that is, you tend to notice when you’re feeling a particular way and take those feelings into account when making decisions.
You tend to think in both abstract ways—in terms of metaphors—and logically. Therefore, in your work and free time, you enjoy activities that get your “creative juices” flowing, but are also able to keep your mind on the primary objective of the task at hand.

Your tendency to be both open-minded, yet realistic is generally quite advantageous. For instance, when there are no clear rules about how to approach a particular problem, your openness makes it easy for you to identify new ways to solve problems that might not be very obvious to people that are not as open as you are. However, because you are also realistic-minded, you are able follow-rules quite easily. This combination makes it easy for you to excel in your work because you are able to “think outside the box” while still being able to keep your eyes on “the big picture.”

Easygoingness

Easygoingness refers to one’s ability to relax. Based on your score, you appear to “take things as they come” and enjoy having a good time. However, being high in easygoingness also has the potential to produce stress in a number of ways. For example, you may find it difficult to complete tasks thoroughly and efficiently. In this way, being high in easygoingness cannot only make your life difficult, but also the lives of the people around you. Another potential problem with being too high in easygoingness is that it can provide you with gratification in the short-term, but in the long-term provide undesirable consequences.

High easygoingness, even when not seriously destructive, may also diminish your effectiveness at work, for example. You may find it aversive and difficult to put in all the effort that may sometimes be needed to effectively accomplish certain tasks. For this reason, your colleagues might view you as forgetful and unfocused.

How does your personality affect your love life?

With your strong degree of self-confidence, it’s no surprise that you get along well with most people. Indeed, it’s self-confidence that allows people to feel comfortable interacting with others without feeling insecure and vulnerable. For this reason, you shouldn’t have much difficulty in romance, at least not initially. Your social skills will likely help relieve any anxiety your romantic partners might have on those first few dates. However, over time, the high standards that you have for yourself could potentially frustrate your partner.

Given how much you value family life, you probably get along best with people who share your values and beliefs. In fact, it’s likely that you maintain close connections with members of your immediate and distant family. For this reason, you would probably be most satisfied in a romantic relationship with someone who also values domestic life. Being in a relationship with someone who enjoys going out to parties and staying-up late at night might be fun, at least initially; yet it’s likely that you will find this tiring over time. Thus, it might be easier and more satisfying for you to develop a long-lasting relationship with a person who also enjoys spending time at home and desires starting a family. On first dates, perhaps you might suggest to your partner that the two of you spend a quiet night having dinner at one o
f your respective homes instead of going out to a restaurant or club.

As someone who is more relaxed than most people, you’re probably attracted to most people. However, your free-spirited nature might make being in a relationship with a person that is more rigid than you difficult because you might perceive the person as being too uptight and controlling. For this reason, you may ultimately be most satisfied in a relationship with someone that is shares your level of self-control.

Your openness probably makes it easy for you to respect and appreciate people that are different from you. However, you may become frustrated with people that are too unconventional or traditional. Therefore, you may be happiest in serious relationships with people that share both your open-mindedness and realistic nature.

On another part of the site I got:

You are an INFP,

INFP: “Making life kinder and gentler”: Whether leading or following, this type is most productive when working for some idea or service. Cannot tolerate routine. Needs to serve personal values. If INFPs can translate their work into a type of human service, it might make something they do not want to do somewhat worthwhile. They make decisions subjectively based upon personal values and do not want to control others. Are comfortable with a live-and-let-live credo. Not typically found in an executive position in a corporate setting. Good at executive behaviors in a movement or an institution centered around social causes. INFP’s natural partner is the ENFJ, or the ESFJ. INFP’s dominant function of Introverted Feeling is best matched with a partner whose dominant function is Extraverted Feeling. The INFP/ENFJ combination is ideal, because it shares the Sensing way of peceiving, but the INFP/ESFJ combination is also a good match.

These letters change each time I take the Jung test. Most of the time I get an E first – ENTP or ENFP or some other version now and then. ENTP seemed to suit me best when I took the longer version of this in a workshop last year.

ENFP: “People are the product”: Do well in executive roles even though their characteristics of effervescence, enthusiasm and spontaneity are not typical of top corporate managers. They can be very skilled at flying by the seat of their pants. Can do many things at the same time but might neglect to plan and be prepared. More females fit this type than males, but males tend to be promoted. Have great ability to empower others. Inspiration rather than control is key to their management style. ENFP’s natural partner is the INTJ, or the INFJ. ENFP’s dominant function of Extraverted Intuition is best matched with a partner whose dominant function is Introverted Intuition.

ENTP: “Progress is the product”: When an ENTP is on the job, you never know what to expect next. Every moment is up for grabs when they are around. Characteristics: energetic, dynamic, creative, resilient, argumentative. They are punsters who would rather engage in intellectual banter than complete some meaningless task or be quiet by themselves. The public world is exciting to them; they tend not to be committed to a schedule or project if a more exciting challenge comes along. ENTP’s natural partner is the INFJ, or the INTJ. The ENTP’s dominant function of Extraverted Intuition is best matched with a personality that is dominated by Introverted Intuition.

INFP

CHARACTER SKETCH
‘Imagine how beautiful the world would be if we could all just get along’, the Idealistic INFP contemplates. Their internal focus concentrates on how they feel about things and decisions are made accordingly. Externally, their highly developed intuition affirms these altruistic beliefs.

More than other intuitive types, they focus on making the world a better place. The INFP begins this admirable mission by searching out the answers to what life really means, and then culminating these findings into a clear purpose and active ways to better serve humanity. Based on these findings, they re-evaluate the path they are traveling, deciding whether to keep going straight or change course; always with the ultimate goal in mind – the good of all. Intuitive, idealistic and a perfectionist are the drivers that help them achieve goals to that end.

They are natural mediators, solving other people’s problems without a hitch. INFPs are flexible and laid-back until their values are placed into question. That’s when they come out fighting, aggressively defending their position or cause. A cause is different than a mere project to them. It’s something they passionately believe in, and have worked out every detail to back-up their position. Mundane details leave them cold. They don’t see the importance of a spic and span house, but their causes require meticulous upkeep.

Decisions based just on facts don’t sit well with them. Their global feelings don’t coincide with the use of hard logic. This skill can be cultivated if you try hard enough, but it’s not something they embrace. On the flip side, when emotionally stressed they may throw out erroneous fact after fact to back up their often illogical outbursts. INFPs benefit from thinking twice, taking deep breaths, whatever they need to do to calm themselves, before it gets to this extreme.

Being the perfectionist creates a tendency to be his or her own worst critic. They may have problems working in a group because the other members may not be as committed and diligent as the INFP. In other situations, giving it more than their best shot is admirable, but here, they may appear to be control happy. Combating these negatives is one of balancing their high ideals with the rigors of every day living. It is important to resolve this dichotomy for their peace of mind and happiness. They’re bent on giving back in hands-on situations rather than in a more concrete logical way. This type of attribute also makes them more comfortable writing about their feelings than telling someone how much they care. Because they write so well, they may be drawn to this creative outlet as a career, or consider counseling, teaching or social services, as a fit.

“You didn’t hear a word I said”, that’s not something anyone will ever say to an INFP. They listen intently, believing it’s the thoughtful thing to do. This act of caring puts people at ease and makes the INFP a trusted friend and confidante. Although it’s not always easy for them to express their feelings, they are genuinely concerned, warm and understanding. He or she tries to avoid conflicts but when it’s a necessity, they come from a feeling perspective, rather than placing blame. This is all well and good, but the INFP needs to be aware that sometimes this stance makes them appear to be too emotional and rather irrational.

They have everything it takes to accomplish great things and to become better and better with each passing day.