For Sagittarius in 2014

Sagittarius

General 2014 Overview:

That rowdy and restless reputation of yours? You’ve definitely gone “off brand,” Sagittarius. Since last year, a clutch of planets has been in water signs, pulling you into more emotional and even solitary realms of your chart. This inward-facing vibe carries into 2014, especially since your ruling planet Jupiter is in Cancer, your intimate and soulful eighth house, until July 16. Not that exploring your inner landscape isn’t its own form of journeying, but you won’t get back to the actual globe-trotting until mid-July, when Jupiter moves into fiery Leo, your ninth house of travel, study and new horizons. Your enthusiastic personality won’t be so muted once that happens. However, you’ll still have to contend with stern old Saturn. The cosmos’ curmudgeon is in Scorpio, your twelfth house of hidden agendas and closure, until December 23. Saturn has been here since October 2012, doling out a few tough lessons about being overly trusting—perhaps even vis-a-vis a snake in the grass. If you’ve been betrayed by a frenemy or loved one, Saturn challenges you to practice a new form of forgiveness. You never have to be okay with what happened, but you don’t have to take it personally either. If you do, you make it about you (“what have I done to deserve this?”)…when really, it’s about them. It’s the equivalent of saying, “I no longer wish to be the dumping ground for your ugliness and wounds. Take them back and heal them somewhere else.” Shed that darkness, Archer, because on December 23, Saturn enters Sagittarius for the first time since 1985, setting off a three-year reinvention tour. All that is beneath you will be stripped away. It’s time for your own light to shine.

Related: Read ‘Jujitsu Rabbi and the Goddless Blonde’

Love:

Merge, baby, merge. Your ruler Jupiter is in Cancer, your zone of intimacy, sex and permanent bonds, until July 16. Steamy erotic encounters? Sure, why not. Discovering the joy of waking up with the same person day in and day out? Yeah, that’s a tougher one for your independent sign, but with expansive Jupiter here, you’re so up for it. Sexy Mars in your collaborative eleventh house until July 25 further helps you reap the rewards of being a true team player. From September 13 to October 25, Mars will be in Sagittarius, giving you dazzling powers of attraction. On October 8, the Aries total lunar eclipse ignites your house of passion and fertility. Lusty adventures and even a pregnancy could sweep in unexpectedly with this eclipse.

 

Career:

Takin’ care of business! As 2014 begins, there are five planets in Capricorn, your money and work house, putting you in productive spirits. Since January 1 also brings a new moon—conjunct soul-plumbing Pluto—you want purpose with your paycheck. Check out Danielle LaPorte’s The Desire Map to craft some goals with soul (http://bit.ly/odesire). Technology and teamwork hold the keys to success, with go-getter Mars in Libra, your collaborative eleventh house, until July 25. The April 15 Libra lunar eclipse could invite you into a powerful cadre of movers and shakers. With your ruler Jupiter in your eighth house of wealth and assets until July 16, you might invest, buy or sell real estate, earn affiliate income or welcome a windfall.

Read more: 2014 Horoscope Forecast from the AstroTwins – 2014 Zodiac – ELLE
Follow us: @ElleMagazine on Twitter | ellemagazine on Facebook
Visit us at ELLE.com

ASCII Art by Donovan

The original site is in the dust of Geocities. It can be found if you spend time working on the Wayback Machine. But, I think I have tracked Donovan down on Facebook after all these years since I last talked to him through the ASCII art newsgroups.

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Moon Landing

 


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Astronaut Young salutes flag at Apollo 16 descates landing site.

The Moon

 

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David Bader's Complete Guide to Cows (Part 2)

 

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/——-/ / | |============>
/ | || * ||—-| (~)
* ||—-|| ~~ ~
~~ ~~ Moo-ammar Cowdafi
holy cow armed and dangerous

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/——- / /——- /
/ | ||O / | O~ ||O
* ||,—|| * ||,—||
^^ ^^ ^^ ^^
A Bull A-bomb-in-a-bull No-bull

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| | | | *
| | () | | ()
| | (oo) | | (oo)
| | /——-/ | | ———–/–
| | / | || | | —-| |—
| | * ||—-|| | | ——–
| ______^^____^^___ | _________________
| _________________ | _________________
| / | /
| | | |
| | | |
| | | |
| | | |
| | | |
| | | |
| | | |
/ /

Cow perched on a tree. Cow attempting to fly off tree.

| |
| |
| |
| |
| |
| _________________
| _________________
| /
| |
| |
| |
| |
| |
| | (__)
| | *———(..)
/ ^^—-^^/

Cow that has failed miserably in the attempt.

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/——-/ –‘________________________/
/ | ||
* ||—-||
~~ ~~

#

#

#

#

#

#

M M OOOO OOOO ### ###### ###
MM MM O O O O ####### #######
M M M M O O O O # #
M M M O O O O # ### ### #
M M O O O O # # # # # #
M M OOOO OOOO # # ### # ### #

### ###

#

________ # ######## #
——– # # ## ## # #

# #

######### # # #### # #

######

########################### ###

#

#

## #

# # # # #

# # # # #

# # # # # #

# # # # # #

# # # # # #

# # # # # ####

# # ##### # # ### #

# # # # ##################### ######### #

# # # # # # #

# # # # # # #

# # # # # # #

# # # # # # #

# # # # # #

### ####
### ######
. / . . : ()
. / . . : (xx)
/ . . * : ——/
/ * : * ||____||
| () | . . ** : / | |
. /| (oo) | ** :
/ | // | . . * : Hamburger
. / |=|==|=| . * :
. / | | | | . :
/ USA | ^||^ |NASA . : * ()
|______| ^^ |______| . : (oo)
. (||) . . : ——-/
. /_ /_ . . . : 8-| ||
!!! !!! : ||—-||
^^ ^^
The cow that jumped over the moon. : Flying Cow
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\/////////////////

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David Copperfield’s Cow David Copperfield’s other Cow

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____ ____ |+++++|
|++++| ___ |++++| ____ |+++++|
|++++| |++ ______________________ |++++| |+++++|
|++++| |++/ /( ) |++++| |+++++| __
| | |+| |-oo- | ______ |++++| |+++++| |++|
—–()–| / () ——————————–
o ( oo /_______________________| (oo) | __
| /| | M O O – B U S T E R S|
/ /| | /oo| – Bleaurgh!
|-| ____ —— )_ /| /
-|_ |-|^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ 0 _| * / *
| __________________________________/
| W| _/ /—————– _/ /
/ / ___/ ___/
/ /
^^^ ^^^ Who you gonna call…?

[[code]]czoxNTQ6XCIgICAgKF9fKSAgICAgICAgICAgICAgICAgICAoX18pICAgICAgICAgICAgICAgICAgIChfXykgICAgICAgKC0tLS0tLS17WyYqJl19LS0tKQogICAgKDAwKSAgICAgICAgICAgICAgICAgICAoLW8pICAgICAgICAgICAgICAgICAgICgtLSkgLiAuIC4gKCAqJmd0O1lBV3tbJiomXX1OJmx0OyogKQpcIjt7WyYqJl19[[/code]]

/——/ /——/ /——/ (———-)
/| || /| || /| ||
* ||—-|| * ||—-|| * ||—-||

Cow w/ Glasses Flirtatious cow (winking) Cow after pulling an all-nighter

  • [[code]]czoxMjM6XCIgKF9fKSAgICAgICAgICAgICAgKF9fKSAgICAgICAgICAgICAgIChfXykgICAgICAgICAgICAgICAoX18pCihvbykgICB7WyYqJl19ICAgICAgICAgICAob28pICAgICAgICAgICAgICAgKG9vKSAgICAgICAgICAgICAgIChvbykKXCI7e1smKiZdfQ==[[/code]]

    ——-/ /——-/ /——-/ /——-/
    /| | / / / / /
    //||—-|| * //—— * –// * —-
    ^ ^^ ^^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^
    Cow walking Cow jogging Same cow Cow breaking

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    ____| ____ /——-/(__ o=o=o=|——/
    —/ –** / | / | |
    *____/ |___// * ||—-|| ||—-||
    //——–/ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^
    //__ Cow Cow pooing
    Cow marching standing

    Side Front Side back (_) Where’s all the bulls!
    (
    ) () () (__) (O O)/
    ( oo (oo) oo ) ( ) ^ _/ /_ ^
    /_| // |_/ / / O //

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    —-/ /—–~~~~~~ /——-/
    || / | || / | IRS ||
    —|| * ||—-|| * ||—-||
    ~~ ~~ ~~ ~~ ~~
    Eric the half a cow The unknown cowmic Tax Acowntant

    [[code]]czoxNzA6XCIgIChfX18pICAgICAgICAgICAgKF9fXykgICAgICAgICAgICAgKF9fXykKICAoMCAwKSAgICAgICAgICAgICgwIDApICB7WyYqJl19ICAgICAgICAgICAoMCAwKQogICAgLyAgICAgICAgICAgICAgIC8gICAgICAgICAgICAgICAgLwpfX1tfVl9dX18gICAgICAgIF9fW3tbJiomXX1fVl9dX18gICAgICAgICBfX1tfVl9dX18KXCI7e1smKiZdfQ==[[/code]]

    /_________===: /_________===: /_________===:
    OOO—OOO/ OOO—OOO/ OOO—OOO/

    [[code]]czoxNzQ6XCIgICAgICAgICAgICAgICAgQ293ZWQgRm9yY2VzCiAgICAgIF8gLwogICAgLSAoICkgLSAgICAgICAgICAgICAgICAgICB7WyYqJl19ICAgICAgIC8KICAgICAvIFxcXCIgICAgICAgICAgICAgICAgICAgICAgICAgIC98ICB8ICAgKF9fKQogICAgIChfXykgICAgICAgICAge1smKiZdfSAgICAgICAgICAgICAgLyAgfCAgfCAgIChvbykKXCI7e1smKiZdfQ==[[/code]]

    ________(oo) /____| | /|
    /| / / / |
    / |_______|| (_______ |||

    • || || |__________| ||| ____—*
      ~~ ~~
      Thomas Edison’s cow Cow hearing his master’s voice) ( _
      (____) / (__) ==========I
      / = = ~ ==’ `== (oo) |||||| I
      (-O–O-) ~ 8 O O 8 /——-/ ||||| I
      ( ) ~ /——- ( ) / | ||__o=< |||| I
      /——- ||||||====== / | || _/ * ||—-| ||| I
      / | || / * ||—-|| ~~ ~ || I
  • ||—-|| ~~ ~~
    ~~ ~~
    Groucho Moo-x Chico Harpo______________________ _______________________
    | | | |
    | () | | () |
    | (oo) | | (oo) |
    | /——-/ | |—/ /—-|
    | / | || | | || / | |
    | * ||—-|| | |–|| * ||–|
    | ~~ ~~ | | ~~ ~~ |
    |——————–| |———————|
    Normal Cow 0 Cow modulo one 1

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    ______________/______ ____ /——-/ __
    ///////| //| / | || //|
    |
    |||||_|| |
    ||/|* //—–||||||
    ||||||___|| |||/|~~ ~/|
    ||
    |||||||/ |___||/ ||_|/

    Cow in the GDR before… …and after 9-Nov-1989

    ______________()_________________ ()
    /_______________(oo)_______________ / (oo)
    | / || /
    | _|| ||
    //_______________________________//| ||
    ( ) ( )| ||
    | |________________________________| | | ||
    _____________________________________/] /——- /
    [] [] [] / | ||
    * ||—-||
    COW-CH ~~ ~~
    Cowraffe

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    /~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ /
    / (__) +———-+
    | (oo) ~~~~~~~~~~~ | | |
    |~~~| /. // * |~~~| | |
    | |—–//=====’—–| | | |
    | |—–//———||—-| | | |
    | |
    _ _ _ _ _ “_ _ _| | +———-+
    ~||~ ~||~ || ||

    [[code]]czoyMzI6XCIgICAgICAgICAgICAgICAgIFxcXCJDT1dDSCBQT1RBVE9cXFwiCiAgICAgICAgICAgICAgICAgICAgICAgICAgICAgICAgICAge1smKiZdfSAgICAgICstLS0tLS0tLS0tLS0rICAgICAgICAgKwogICAgICAgICAgICAgICAgICAgICAgICAgICAgICAgICAgICAgICAgIHwgQiB7WyYqJl19QSBUIEUgUyAgfCAgKF9fKSAgIG8KICAgICAgICAgICAgICAgfCAgICAoMHgpICAgKCAgICAgICApICAgICB8QyBPIFIgUiBBIEwgfHtbJiomXX0gICgqKikgIC98ClwiO3tbJiomXX0=[[/code]]

    ———- | / ( ) +————+ ==/ / |
    | W—— | | ( ) v
    | ———- *—- ====; ( )
    | | () | / ( )
    | (oo) | | ( )
    | / | + | ( )
    ———- + ( )
    Ice Cowbe COWBOOOOOM! | |
    o o
    Psycho Cow (with knife)
    (
    )
    (oo) ————————- _______________________
    /——-/ – | Don’t have a Bart, man! | | ~ ~ /|
    / | || ————————- | ~ ~ ~ / |

  • ||—-|| |(_ ~ COW-PIE ~ /)|
    ~~ ~~ |(oo ~ /oo)|
    The Simpsons’ cow | / ~ ~ / / |
    |() / ()|
    / (oo)(
    ~ ~ /)(oo)|
    _____________/ / (oo /oo) //
    /___________/ / ~ / / /
    Cow in / /_________/ () / () /
    trouble / / /_______/ (oo) ~/ (oo)/
    / / / / () / / 🙁)//
    ___/
    ///_ (oo) _______ ():(oo) /
    / / / / / / (oo): / /
    /_____/ / / / /(
    ) /
    /_______/ / / (oo)/
    /_________/ / //
    /___________/ :/
    /
    /

    [[code]]czoxMzA6XCIgIChfXykgICAgICAgICAgICAgICAoX18pICAgICAgICAgICAgICAoX19fX19fKSAgICAgICAgICAgICAoX18pCiAgKG97WyYqJl19bykgICAgICAgICAgICAgICAob28pICAgICAgICAgICAgICAoIG8gIG8gKSAgICAgICAgICAgICAob28pClwiO3tbJiomXX0=[[/code]]

    /——–/ /~~~~~~~/ /—– / /——-/
    ../ | | ./ {~)))))_} / | |/ / | ||
    |–W—–| ||“ || * ||—-|| * (.)(.)||
    | | | | ~~ ~~ ~~ ~~ ~~ ~~
    ~~ ~~
    cow before weight cow after Conceited Dolly Parton’s
    loss program the program Cow Cow

    [[code]]czo1NjpcIiAgICAgICAgICAgICAgICAgICAgICAoX19fKQogICAgICAgICAgICAgICAgICAgICAgKCAgT08KXCI7e1smKiZdfQ==[[/code]]

    ______ ______ ______ | ______ () ______
    | | | | | |O cowstle | | (oo)| |
    | |____| |____| | | |
    /_| |
    | | | |
    | | () | |
    | __________ | (oo) | __________ |
    | | | | /——- | | | |
    | | | | ___ | ___ |
    | | | |
    | | () | || ||_| ||| || | () | |
    | | (oo) | | (oo) | |
    | ___/___/ ___/___/ |
    | |
    | |
    ( ______ )
    ( / )
    ( / )
    ( | | )
    | | | |
    | | | |
    |_________________________|________|______________|

    [[code]]czo2MjpcIiAoX18pCiAob28pICAgICAgICAgICAgICAgICAgICAgICAgICAgICAgICAgICAgICAgICAgICAgICAgIC8KXCI7e1smKiZdfQ==[[/code]]

    /——-/ /
    / | || * (__) /

    • ||—- ( OO /
      ~~ ~~ —__/|=/>
      ~~ ~~ | ===/>
      _____// | /______/ /
      || | _______________/__________________
      /—— ~ ~ /
      (oo) /
      (–) * /

Cow Circus: The flying Cowlendas Cow Circus: Tightrope walking

[[code]]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[[/code]]

_______O)—–~—————O)_________________*__||—-||_____

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/ ======== / | |
/ /* * * / /
|==============| /___* | |
/ || || ~ / ~
======== / ~~ ~~ *
_____ /
Cow balancing on ball Cowslip Cownilingus

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/——-/ / / /——-
/ | || =================== || |
* ||—-|| || |–| |–| || ||—-|| *
~~ ~~ — ~ ~ ~ ~ — ~~ ~~ ()
A game of cowntract bridge (oo)
/ / ____________
/ ===~
| |
———————- |___ / |______________|
() | -/ -/ || | |=====| | | |
(oo) | | | |
| | *I I| | | |
/——-/ ———————- I I~ ~ | |
/ | || | -/ | | | |
* ||—-|| | _|
|| || |_| | wolfgang amadeus moo-zart
~~ ~~ ———————-
Just a humble cownoisseur

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