WordPress Continued…

I may put WordPress back up. But only with comments disabled. Its not a great option but I just don’t want to spend time weeding out comment spam.

Maybe I will look into other options first. Tonight I may have 2 minutes of free time.

Blog Explosion Doesn’t Like This Blog

Strange… but Blog Explosion has twice now said it can’t see this blog. It comes out looking scrambled when they use MS IEx (the defunct browser of choice). I would tell them to get on the ball and use the right browser. I would, if they had provided a working email address.

Why do so many services, businesses and people in general not want to give out an email address? Why are these people even online? Get off. Go hide in your basement where it’s all nice quiet and dark. Don’t even answer your phone in case someone might be wanting to communicate with you.

Boo!

😀 Look at them fleeing in terror. What a sight they must be around Halloween.

During the God Talks

Yesterday, being Monday, I had the meeting with the Jehovah’s Witness lady. We get along well and chat about all kinds of things before we even crack the books for Bible study. It has been interesting talking to her the past few months. I’ve learned things about her beliefs and she has learned about mine. Neither of us has been converting the other, it’s all no pressure, just interesting.

Yesterday though, a topic occured to me which is still a little on my mind. God destroyed cities in his name, in order to get rid of people who were worshipping the wrong god(s), people who were corrupt, etc. So began the first holy wars. Now, seeing as God is supposedly able to know all and forsee all and meanwhile be full of love for mankind and the world/ planet. Why would he begin such a reign of terror and destruction? If he could see people continuing his holy wars in the way they have gone on, why would he start such a thing?

Did God make a mistake? Was God being greedy or intolerant and did he knowingly pass this way of handling things along to be continued by people in his name? How can I believe in a loving God if he would knowingly set this precident of death and destruction to any and all non-believers?

I don’t believe in devils, satan or hell for the very reason that any one/ force/ creature that preaches love can’t also hold hell over my head and expect me to believe they are loving, fair and caring, etc too.

It will be interesting to see what she has to say next week. I know she won’t have much time to look into it and I’m certainly not grilling her or testing her at all. We’re just discussing ideas and spirituality.

I admit I’m thinking of all the ‘witches’ tortured and murdered in the name of God. I’ve always thought those men who did these awful things were abusing their beliefs and taking in on themselves to pass out God’s judgement. What if they aren’t? What if all those so called fanatics were in fact, continuing on, just as God did himself? What if by showing people how to destroy non-believers he was also showing them how he wanted non-believers to be treated? What if God condones religious war and is actually not all that loving, tolerant or fair after all?

It’s a Rainy Day Today

Today it’s raining. I can see the wet pine trees outside my window. The birds are out catching easy worms and having bird showers.

These days people seem to have reversed their attitude about children. Now it seems children should be seen, heard and endured. Children should be left to run wild, without rules or any respect for other people or things. My sister has three children and I have none. I really wanted children, a husband, a place of our own but that isn’t how things worked out for me. She has those things and they aren’t valuable to her, not as much as her business/ career and having money.

She was here yesterday with her second husband and the offspring. It was a zoo. I’m not even going to type out all the details. She left us with a screen door to repair. At least the little girls got to play outside with other kids. They don’t get out with other kids usually.

Graham is having a thing cause I’m not ready to move into the apartment. I don’t know how I’m supposed to move in there as it is. I guess I am though. Family can be a blessing and a curse. Mine have a habit of making decisions for me and then making me feel everthing is my fault.

This is moody, gloomy blog post. I’m tired of writing it even.

I’m still looking forward to having my own place downtown. If I can get some kind of job I will be able to do a little decorating here and there. Some little curtains for the basement windows. A new computer desk/ cart which will take up less space than the table I’m using now. Lots of things to look forward to if it all works out.

I am still tired. Having Zack here means I am getting a lot less sleep. He does fine. He goes to bed by 9:00 or 9:30 and gets up about 6:00 (5:30 this morning). I get up when he does, he gets me up. But I go to bed about 1:00 or later. Just trying to get things done, some writing. The writing isn’t going terribly well as I have too many things crowding around in my mind. Still, when I’m not here I know I will be missing Zack. So it’s worth a little exhaustion to spend time with him now.

The Fixer Upper

Do you ever run (or back away quickly) from people who are too normal, too good for you? I do. I feel unworthy of someone I’d actually like to date or get to know. I seem to let myself meet the less than normal, the people who need help and fixing, they seem to be ok for me to get to know. Maybe I think they will think I’m better than they are cause I don’t have quite so many problems or need less fixing than they do. Maybe I just don’t want to aim higher and be told how damaged and unfixable I am.

I had a reply from a guy to my Craigslist ad this morning. He could have written more about himself, more than his height, weight, eye colour and hair colour. Why does that begin to sound like a recipe after awhile? I would have emailed back if he had written about who he is. But, at the end of his two sentence reply he offered to meet for drinks and gave his phone number. A little thing. So why did I get that quick shot of fear, the instinct to back away quickly? It was just too normal I think. How can I compete with that? How can I even think of doing something like that? Just considering what I would wear, how I would haul my butt onto a bar stool, gives me a sinking feeling. So, although I kept his note, I don’t think much will come of it.

Interesting though, to realize I do seem to end up dating or being with people who need fixing and I tend to back away from anyone who is normal, or at least not in need of repairs.

The Moving News

Plans have changed mainly due to cats.

Yesterday we drove down with a fairly good car load of stuff, mostly books, clothes and cleaning supplies. They are all still in the car. The apartment will be nice, it even has a fancy heated floor. There is still some work to be done to finish up a few things, which I knew ahead of time. I did look over the place and though it’s small it’s not miniscule and I will be fine there, once I can actually move in.

The people who rent upstairs have been using the basement apartment as a cat toilet for their cat and it’s kittens. So, the apartment stinks of cat and cat byproducts. I’m allergic to cats and get asthma from them as well. I couldn’t leave any of the things I brought down there as they would be cat infested. I don’t know how long it will take to air out that basement apartment, it only has one door and two smallish windows. However, this is not a sign of great things to come as far as me getting along with the other tenants. My brother has emailed them about the cats and cat stench. Even if they throroughly clean it up I doubt it will be free of them for a long time.

So, I’m kind of disappointed. It’s not Grahams fault. He left them with a key for the downstairs apartment while he was away in Florida. He trusted them and they abused that.

Anyway, that’s the news. Other stuff happened, good and bad, but I’m still tired this morning.

One Week Left

Sort of the grand final sale.

I have one week to do this whole move and job getting thing. Ick, ugg.

Too bad I can’t just skip ahead a week, or two. I’d like to get to that part where I have done all the moving, I have settled in and I have a bed and my computer set up. I have a job, one that I actually like and feel good about. I’d like to be past all the muckitty muck about selling the car and the unknown lovelies which seem to trip me up, namely the insurance and expired plate which they say you should not be driving around without or with.

Wouldn’t it be nice to have a fast forward button? I know we are supposed to enjoy the journey as well as the destination. I do that, really I do. But, couldn’t I just skip this bit of the journey, just this one time? I’ve had a bit too much journey and not any destination this whole winter.

I am looking forward to having a place of my own again, finally, maybe. It’s renting, yet I can have a lock with the only key, in theory. I can be the one who decides where things are put and how they are put there. No one will tell me how messy I am, other than me. I’m pretty quiet when I’m alone so I won’t boss myself around too much.

I may not post much here this next week. I am working very hard at job hunting, you know. How I hate it, the whole thing of setting yourself up to be found lacking, yet again. If I was one of those perfect magazine people with wallets bulging with credit cards, life would be fine, all maxed out.

I feel like I’m even getting my period today, dammit. I’ll be making squishing noises while I move. At least I have a fair supply of Midol and I won’t be the one operating any heavy machinery. So, you’re all safe on the highways and biways.

The Blog Studio

It seems I am going to be moving near to The Blog Studio. I wish I knew enough of the code side of web design to offer myself up for the job they have posted there.

It would have been a nice job, creative and evolving with new ideas and technology. Though I have been thinking blogs are going to have some kind of implosion soon. Someone is going to realize blogs are content management after all and they have pretty much spammed out the community that used to exist.

What will come next? The first thing will come from the indie publishers, not the business typhoons. They will just try to buy it later.