10 Little Things you can do to Make your Bedroom Sexy

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Source: Pinterest

  • a headboard
  • lighting
  • bedding
  • pillows
  • furniture
  • nightstand
  • art on the walls
  • drapes
  • paint or wallpaper
  • rugs

Your dream bedroom is just around the corner…. All it takes is a little redecorating and reorganizing to get the beautiful bedroom you’ve always dreamed of.

Source: 10 Little Things You Can Do to Beautify Your Bedroom | Martha Stewart

Martha has the right idea but not the same direction I’m thinking.

The most important thing in your bedroom is the bed itself.

There is nothing sexy about an old mattress or one too cheap for a good sleep. Before you spend money on any bedroom decorating take care of your practical needs. Invest in yourself with a great mattress.

Colours

Now, think about some of your favourite things. What makes you feel luxurious, romantic and sensual? Which colours work for you? It may not be the traditional red. Purple, is a great colour but don’t forget to consider blue, green, yellow and assorted shades of all the rest. The right colours will go a long way and colour is a wonderful way to set the mood and create an atmosphere.

Add the colours you want to your bedroom with all Martha’s ideas: throw rugs, extra pillows, paint your walls or furniture. Be sparing with patterns, think of them as a feature or an accent. However, even solid colours can have a texture or shine for a sexier look. You can find endless great ideas online, try a Pinterest search if you don’t know where to start, for home decorating. Your only real limit is how much you can spend. The more you can do yourself the better, but spend a little when you can’t do it all.

Details

Treat yourself to something extra special when you can. In particular I’m thinking an elegant chandelier. You need light after all. If you get lucky you could find an amazing chandelier and matching lamps for your bedside table, dresser, or desk. Consider a chandelier before other mood lighting. Do those strings of holiday lights or little pot lights really make you feel all that sensual?

Not everyone will be wild on the idea of adding mirrors to their bedroom. But, seeing yourself full length every day isn’t as horrifying as you may imagine. It can build up your confidence because you see yourself as you are rather than as you think you are. It’s also a good way to double check for stray threads, labels, and all the other little things. Plus, a full length mirror can come with a luxurious, decadent frame.

Try browsing flea markets, local artists shops for unique items (not just art for the walls but furniture, flower vases, lamps, etc.). Don’t buy something to make do or fill a space. Clutter is not going to make your bedroom sexier, just messier. Pick furniture and art you really must have! Don’t settle for less. (A great way to keep the clutter down is to move things to other rooms in your home or, give them away as gifts to good homes).

Appeal to more than just the visual senses. Throw rugs should feel good beneath your feet, or your bottom on occasion. Flowers can be nice but they aren’t reliable as scent in the room. Don’t OD on scent – find something pleasant rather than overbearing. Keep a DVD player and DVD’s available. I still like the radio myself.

This means that your bedroom should express YOU and have in and around it furniture, artwork, clothes and items that are deeply personal. An attractive bedroom with all new furniture and no real character is not sexy. Additionally, I’ve always found that women whose bedrooms express their older, mature sides are sexier than younger rooms that look like holdovers from college. Women are sexier than girls, so let go of the Victoria’s Secret PINK decor, or “my bedroom is just my crashpad” and kick it up a notch.

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Source: Ten Tips for The Sexiest Bedroom… Like Ever (And also for finding love) | Apartment Therapy

I like the ornate mirror and the way the walls and ceiling are done here. I would love an old fashioned engraved tin ceiling.

pinterest.comSource: Fireplace | Shabby chic * Romantic chic * Cottage chic * Beach chic | Pinterest | Fireplaces

A real fireplace would be great but not at all practical for me. Instead I could find something electric which only looks wood burning.

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Source: Anouska Hempel Revamps London’s Blakes Hotel | Lacquer & Linen

Maybe too much red. But… I really like it!

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Source: 16 Sensual And Romantic Bedroom Designs | Design Ideas

I like the big mirror on the floor. A casual, simple thing but it gives the setting a little history/ mystery to be not quite perfectly polished.

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Source: 20 Romantic Master Bedroom Design Ideas

In these I like the chandeliers and I love the clunky, solid, furniture (the bed and the dresser off to the side). I don’t know about painting the furniture. Covering the wood makes me feel guilty, but I do like the way they look once they are painted.

 

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Source: Pinterest | Faux Fur, Fur and Restoratio…

I’d love to have this faux/ fake fur in my room, on my bed. It looks very lush and touchable.

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Source: SEXY♥BEDS | Pinterest | Tree Bed, Beds and Trees

I also like the rustic, fairytale look. My perfect bedroom would be some combination of lusty red colours, elegant, polished, romantic but looking like something you could walk through and find in the pages of a fairytale. Secret niches, marked by a mysterious past but with a very comfortable bed.

A Romantic and Sexy Blindfold

Black and white, silky and sensual for use as a blindfold with your submissive. Not too pretty for a man.
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A lovely soft satin vintage-inspired sleepmask in a light silvery violet with flourishes of brocade-like dark violet flowers. Bordered by black

Source: Satin Bella Adjustable sleep mask Marielle by lovemesugar

Introduction to Light Bondage

How to Dom with Light Bondage

  • Restraints
  • Sensual Deprivation
  • Discipline
  • Safety

Restraints

Restraints are rope, cuffs, etc. Start with something you can easily work with, safely. You want your submissive to be able to get out of the bondage quickly if things suddenly become too intense. Also, you don’t want to start out making a lot of fancy knots then discover you can’t get them all undone again. Any restraint used must be tested before you start using it as bondage.

Restraints don’t have to be physical. Mental bondage is a lovely thing and great for beginners. You have the power to control your submissive – knowing his bondage is not enforced by anything but his own decision to obey. There is more power in a submissive obedient by choice rather than ropes, chains, leather, etc.

Sensual Deprivation

Sensual deprivation is an element of bondage. Blindfolds are less complicated than some methods which include a full hood over the head. Also, a blindfold is simple for beginners to use and experiment with. Don’t take away more than one of the five senses at a time (for a beginner in bondage). Keep it fun rather than making them go from nervous and uncertain to actually being afraid.

Think of sensual deprivation as the element of surprise. Use it to tease and give your submissive less control. Build suspense and anticipation. While using a blindfold, narrate everything you are doing or plan to do. While they are in restraints you have taken away their ability to use their hands. A blindfold limits what they can see so they strain a little to use the senses they have left. Make sure you use as many senses as you can when you deprive them of one, or more.

Discipline

Discipline includes spanking but is not limited to just that. Discipline can be a punishment. Discipline can be a set of rules or standards to be kept by the submissive. There is a lot you can do with discipline as mental and physical bondage.

You may have heard of domestic discipline. Spanking is usually included with this. The submissive is treated like a child or dog being trained. They are expected to perform tasks, mainly house cleaning. They may be expected to wear aprons.

The Gor books by John Norman inspired another branch of kinkiness which follows a strict discipline and set or orders. Lesser known are the books by Sharon Green who wrote a female Dom series set on other planets involving men and women being taken from Earth. I especially like her books myself.

Safety

Safety matters. I’m not making it first on my list but it should always be part of your considerations and planning. Anything you bring into play during your bondage should be tested out and practiced with. You don’t want to struggle with toys, tools or feel incompetent in the heat of the moment when you are both wound up.

Safety includes some time afterwards, to wind down, get feedback and care for your submissive: aftercare. Don’t skip aftercare. This time is good for the submissive to feel cared for, literally. The Dom also needs this time to wind down, release emotions and reconnect with their partner.

What Would Women Like in Femdom Art?

I like FemDom art which is geared to the woman, her enjoyment and her feelings. Most FemDom art has a woman watching, on the sidelines or she is performing an act of abuse. In neither of these situations is it really about her and what she wants.

I don’t like the extreme stuff because it doesn’t seem real. Extremes seem geared to his fantasies, not hers. She isn’t really getting anything from what’s going on but it’s all set up for pleasing him. Like a little kid who wants his Mother to watch him play. It’s nice for the kid but kind of boring for the Mother (unless she brings a good book).

I like her to be dressed in ordinary clothes, not fetish costumes with ridiculous high heels she can hardly walk in. Corsets which force her to stand rather than be comfortable. Boots so high she can’t bend her legs. Skirts short enough to show her butt. If she is scantily dressed I don’t feel she is really in charge. It’s all a performance for him. I don’t identify with women dressed up like automations.

I like her to be with a man equal to herself in looks and proportions.  I prefer him to be muscular, strong looking and not sissy or down-trodden. I don’t mind if his expression is a little peeved or disgruntled. I don’t like the adoring look, the overly trusting or begging and needy. It looks sexier if I really feel this was all her idea and he really is at her mercy, being tormented and teased as she likes.

Having said that, I don’t the man to see the victim in the photo or the story. He should be there because he wants this. He may not want or like the torment he endures in the moment, but overall this is what he wants.  The “poor little me” style of photos really annoys me.

I do like where there is some sign of care, sensuality and sexiness (not sex but the feeling of intimacy). A connection between the Domme and sub, a relationship being maintained, versus performance art.

For me the best FemDom art has humour (irony and sarcasm), not too sadistic, but the Domme/ FemDom should be having fun at his expense. I especially like the men in peril theme.

When I find something with just a man in a cage (for instance), his head down, his smooth muscular back the focus of the photo… that’s sexy to me. I can imagine the feel of his skin as I reach my hand through the bars of his cage. That’s the man I want to let out of his cage, tease for awhile more and then make love to.

Almost all BDSM art is produced for a male audience. Heterosexual dominant men are happy to see a lone female in bondage. A male top can imagine that he put her there.

Submissive and masochistic straight guys want to see the female top. A mere male in bondage would bore them. (It wouldn’t me.) An artist works either for the paying customers (so few, I know) and himself.

Source: What Would Women Like in Femdom Art? – Femdom Artists

No One Actually Gets Flashing Right Any More

flashing girl

This photo came from a site with photos of women flashing for the camera. Out of all the photos I looked at on the main site, this is the only one which actually looked like flashing. (The expression on her face is great too. She looks happy and excited, about to flash out a boob).

Flashing should be quick and impulsive.

It should not take several minutes while she poses and does a strip tease. That is not a flash. It should not be a movie version with extra fetishes thrown in. A real flash is quick fun and flirty.

I’m not keen on seeing men flashing. It’s not so cute and fun then. But, I don’t really want to catch women flashing in public either. Anything sensual, kinky or fetish in nature should not be done in public because you can’t assume the consent of the general public. So don’t over expose yourself in that way either.

How to Become a Flashing Flirt

Try it when you’re just alone.

Next time you have time alone take a shower, give yourself some pampering and then leave the bathroom without a towel. Make the walk out of the bathroom, naked. See how that feels. It’s a safe way to get started and you don’t even have to look at yourself in the mirror if you don’t want to.

Take a nude selfie.

Don’t send it to anyone but imagine someone (someone charming and sexy) and take the photo for him/ her. Pose. Get arty and draw on your skin. Do a peep show if you don’t want to show all. If you get inspired to send the photo, take a break and leave it for the next day. Make sure you have no regrets.

If you’ve gone this far try actually flashing.

Be nude under a full length coat, dressing gown, something concealing which opens easily and quickly. Stand at a window, indoors. Not one where you know people will be watching, but a a view which takes a risk of being caught. Then, quickly open and close your coat. Don’t make it slow, don’t make sure someone has seen you and, no repeats.

Flashing is Flirting

Stick to the flash, don’t give them more than that. It’s the boldness of the flash which keeps it fun. It’s a quick risk for people who don’t want to expose themselves but enjoy that daring impulse to do something a bit naughty or taboo. You may get tempted to go to the next level and become a streaker. Don’t, unless you’re really sure you can face seeing that much of yourself exposed the next day and the next and when ever someone puts it up on YouTube.

Your Sexual Bucket List?

The original list came from Body + Soul. I picked out those which interested me. Have you tried making a sexual bucket list? I think it should really be a sensual bucket list so you could enjoy more sexual things without a partner too.

  • Plan a surprise bedroom picnic. Fill your basket with goodies that delight. Make sure you have batteries, and include toys for two, not just vibes for her alone. Pull one bedroom picnic treat out at a time and take turns with each other.
  • Tantric breathing. – Breathing, hearing and feeling each other’s breath creates intimacy and arousal between you.
  • Restrict your or your partner’s movement or senses.
  • Fulfill a fantasy.
  • Have cybersex.
  • Make penetration forbidden. – Light a candle and focus on foreplay and sexplay in whatever way you want until the candle burns out. Only then is penetration allowed!
  • Caress each other in unexpected places.
  • Give a prelude teaser. – Take the initiative.
  • Indulge with a scalp massage.
  • Don’t just French kiss. – Use shallow kisses to stimulate his lips with your tongue and teeth, his lips have thousands more nerve endings than in his mouth.
  • Keep the lights on.