sick

After 50 Kindly Disappear

After turning 50 or so I think the rest of the people on the planet expect us to just drop off or disappear at the least.

I laughed in a sick way when filling out this survey. I feel like an expired library book. I’m just months away from the next and final designation/ destination.

Do they really think there are so few people online (or capable of using a keyboard) once you get to be 50? Are we just too far gone to matter then? Are all our ideas and opinions too diluted by our …  umm…  Alzheimers?

Only Other People Turn 50

I know how to count, 45… 50. I’ve been counting 50 for a few years. 50 is coming… 50 is coming… warning… 50 is closer than you think. But, in spite of that, when I see something for people who are turning 50 or 50 plus, I don’t think it’s about me. Only other people turn 50, not me.

I remember my Dad’s 50th birthday party. We gave him a home party with a bowl full of colourful Jello to smush his feet into. Dad was the grumpy sort, it really didn’t have much to do with being 50, he was mostly that way. But, I remember making all that Jello with my Mom. I remember my Mom had read about the idea somewhere, as a great way to relieve stress or tension. He finally did put his feet in the Jello, and he liked it. I don’t want Jello for my 50th birthday. I may be going crazy but I haven’t been grumpy about it.

There is the other part of turning 50… the birthday. You know people aren’t so likely to forget or ignore it. I don’t think I’d like it if they did. Quite… exactly… Other than not wanting Jello; I don’t know what I do want. Nothing… and yet, something. So am leaving that to procrastinate on later. I have until December after all.

Turning 50 has been on my mind since I turned 46, if not before. If you haven’t become a grown up, done the things you wanted to do, by the time you are 50… you only have another 10 years until you are old. I feel like I’m hanging onto a shelf, my legs dangling below me reaching for a ledge I can’t see or touch with my toes. I can let go of the ledge and trust I will land on another ledge below or I can let go of the ledge and fall a very long, long way. I tend to get that sick feeling of not having faith in the ledge below me when I think about turning 50.

Anyway, I thought I could write something about it. Likely someone else is turning 50, somewhere on the planet. Good luck and happy birthday when the time comes.

To the Canadian Media: Canadian TV First

Canadian TV First

Canadian TV First Although the site which generated this link is about SunMedia in particular, I would like to see more Canadian TV in general. All the TV channels, the entertainers and media should be Canadian on Canadian TV. It should be the odd time we see US entertainment, not the everyday. This is only aggravated at this time of year when we have the US Oscars shoved down our throat. In the Canadian newspapers, the Canadian magazines, the Canadian news – every facet of the Canadian media online and offline is focused on yapping about the US award show. I’m sick of it long before the thing ever shows up on the actual night it airs.

I am Canadian. So why is it I know names of US entertainers I have never even seen in a movie or TV show and yet I do not know the name of the actor I watched in a Canadian movie last night? Without waiting for the credits, I did not know the name of this man who I have watched in several movies and TV shows over the years. If this were a US entertainer I’d know his name and a lot more.

Why does the Canadian media play into promoting US entertainers and media over our very own entertainers and media? Why can’t Canadians have Canadian TV?

I took this photo (below) this morning. This is the local Barrie, Ontario newspaper. The Entertainment section is just two pages. Other than a couple of ads for local movie theatres (showing US movies, of course) the only content on those two pages is about the US Oscars and entertainers. As a Canadian reading this newspaper I was annoyed to see the US media given two pages and no Canadian content at all. Pick up a local US newspaper and see if you can find a mention of the Canadian media, at all. Likely not.

No Canadian Content

If you Close Your Eyes it Will all go Away

Most Definitely A Time For Change!!! .

I was molested in a movie theatre as a kid. At the time I was too ashamed and embarrassed – also intimidated to do anything but sit there through the whole movie and wait until I could get out and leave. Now I wish I had told someone. But, at the time I told no one until hours later when I got home on the bus and told my Mother.

I don’t know why our society puts offenders and murderers on a pedestal  Instead of doing something real and concrete about the people molesting, beating or killing we lock up ourselves and our children. We are all afraid of our children being attacked and yet… the molesters (known molesters and violent offenders) are sent right back out with a slap on the wrist.

I don’t understand why we don’t have capital punishment. When I ask about it here people were horrified at the idea of killing murders. Someone suggested they should have 3 chances before being punished. Well, I’m not volunteering to be beaten, molested or killed in order to give some offender a few more chances.

It’s all a sick joke and we are the dummies to live this way while allowing the offenders to rule our lives and make us live like cattle awaiting slaughter or rabbits afraid to poke our nose out of our holes. I don’t listen to the news any more. I don’t want to hear about the latest victim and I just get really angry when I hear about the offender who had already committed several crimes over the years but was set free to have another second chance, at our expense.

A few things I need to get off my chest: Not a rant | I Will Dare

A few things I need to get off my chest: Not a rant | I Will Dare .

My blabby comment after reading Jodi’s post:

40 is actually pretty nice. I’m feeling a bit sick about the approach of 50 (though I’m only 46, 50 is like a dead weight I can’t get out of my head).

Grey hair can be salvaged. I waited until I realized pulling out the grey strands was making me look like a lunatic. I was actually using the mirror in the car one day, while parked on the street. People were looking at me. It wasn’t a good thing.

So I started colouring my hair. You could skip the steps of DIY colouring and go right to getting it done at the salon. I didn’t. But, I’m stubborn that way. I had it done at the salon about two weeks ago for the first time. It is different than the DIY jobs I have done myself. I always seemed to miss some area, even when I was careful and watched myself do it in the bathroom mirror. Also, with long hair I think it requires two boxes of colouring to really cover all that hair. I was too cheap to buy two.

The salon is expensive but I got it done this time because I have two family weddings to attend. One was this month and the other October. My brother and sister are getting married, not to each other. There is something to make you feel old! I’m the oldest sibling but now I will be the only unmarried one. (I’m divorced, so not a complete old maid).

Anyway, 40 is not so bad. You might even like it! I was kind of fond of being 42, the answer to life, the universe and everything. For that one year you too can be the It Girl of the Universe.

First Monday of the New Year

MeetMonday-1-1


1.  Do you have any New Year’s resolutions?
2.  What food item are you craving right now?
3.  When is your birthday?
4.  What were you doing an hour ago?
5.  Last thing you cooked?

  1. I wrote some on my other blog but I didn’t promise I’d actually keep any of them. This year is off to a backwards start anyway.
  2. A better coffee than the one I have in front of me. It’s gotten cold. I don’t really want to eat anything right now. So I am content as far as food cravings.

  3. I just had my birthday a week before Christmas.

  4. An hour ago I finally got the Doctor Who Christmas special to load up and play on the Space channel’s website. It was great! I hope they run it again on TV soon cause my computer’s sound wouldn’t go up loud enough for me to hear it very well.

  5. I’ve been sick for over a week. I haven’t cooked anything. I don’t really enjoy cooking when it’s just for myself anyway.

Have a look at other answers to the same questions on Meet Me on Monday for this week.