Here be Dragons….
When you climb a high hill you have to fall down eventually. At least I’m home again, with bruises but this time I didn’t lose an anything I haven’t lost before.
There’s always the question of was it worth it and would you climb another high hill. I expect I will, in time. I seem to be destined to keep climbing hills no matter how much I wish I’d just stop and stay home where it’s always the same, not happy maybe but comfortable.
Right now I’m glad to rest awhile between high hills.
I know what that title means. You can guess at it, but I don’t feel like writing about it. Well, I do but I don’t feel like thinking about it all in depth tonight. I just don’t have time to spare for my own feelings.
Sometimes the days are like the ocean. They roll and wave together to be lost in the depths.
Labour Day today. I’m not working at the store but I’m about to start making apple pies with my Mom. The rest of them are coming to eat the pies, they almost never, ever come to make the pies. Neither Mom or I feel like making pies today.
Anyway, I guess I will have time to be alone later. I did get out shopping for the groceries but somehow that doesn’t seem to count.
I feel like Dmoz has become a wasteland. My contributions there are not really appreciated and it’s like a sink hole for all the time spent on it. I rejoined about a year ago because I thought I could still do some good. Now, I feel like I’m spinning my wheels and the only time anyone notices me is when they feel they have to invite me to some useless meeting about making nit picky changes to categories. Anyway, I don’t really know anyone there these days. I used to have friends when it was still a community.
I think the only reason I’m still there is because I’ve been there so long. I don’t really feel like I’m doing any good these days. I certainly know it’s not appreciated.
I sent this email to someone, intending to ask about Site Gadgets only. But, as often happens other things crowd into my brain as I’m typing. Often I put them aside, make notes in NotePad or forget them 2 seconds later. But, today I wrote them and then decided to stick them here so I could remember that I actually thought them. Confused? Good, confusion is just more state of mind. At least you know you’re still here.
http://www.sitegadgets.com/
Have you seen this before? It looks interesting but how free is free? If you take a look let me know what you think. I should read the fine print myself I just don’t really want to enough.
Usually I’d sign up and let the chips fall where they may. Todd (the ex) was always horrified. He read every letter of the fine print. He probably still does.
About him, it’s interesting. At first I didn’t think I was allowed to be mad at him. Then I felt guilty for being mad at him. Then for about a week I was furiously mad at him. Now, I’m getting over it. About time, eh? I’m still mad at him but not so mad that I want to do violence and blame him for everything. I’m going to add this to Live Journal so I can read it later when I wonder if that’s what I really wrote.
Yet Another Moment of Panic
11/24/00 3:31 am
I can’t remember just what was on the checklist I mailed back to the consulate and I wasn’t smart enough to keep a copy. I just suddenly realized I only have about 2 weeks to get everything loaded, stamped, sealed and etc. I knew it was 2 weeks I just didn’t clue into how soon 2 weeks is coming up.
Also, we may be crossing at Windsor early in the morning. 7:am to 8:am. Is this a good time? I had a bad experience crossing there using the bridge. Now I just can not bring myself to cross that way again or even around that time. I was hoping not to get the dayshift as the guy I met before was a complete (bad word deleted).
Todd and I had a fight tonight too.
I wonder if anyone gets through all this without having some very rough spots. Definately feeling jittery tonight. Just keep thinking that the worst of it will be over soon. I hope.
Read more of these old posts – Our Adventures with the Fiancé Visa (2000 – 2002)