Zombie Grrl

Outside I can hear the wind rushing past the house. Dorothy and her little dog too should be flying past any time now. I guess that is one bonus of living in a basement apartment. As long as I can hang onto something down here the foundation isn’t likely blow away when the rest of the house goes.

Inside I’m a mess of germs. Just stick some of my cells on a petri dish and find all kinds of interesting new diseases. No doubt it’s the Canadian Maple Sap flu that is making my eyes burn holes in my head. It’s the Torontonian Grunge that has infected my head and is causing my brain to rebel and want to split off from the rest of me, much like Quebec. Soon I will begin speaking French even though I thought I had forgotten almost all of it once I escaped high school. The rest of my body isn’t really here any more it’s just an illusion.

I have an appointment at 10:00 tomorrow morning. I have to make my body obey and actually arrive there. I think I’m even going to have to use my brain. This isn’t going to be pretty. On top of that, I wish I had cash to order a pizza and scare some poor delivery guy with how attractive I look right now. I have avoided talking to myself today, trying to keep my voice functional for tomorrow. I really am not looking forward to hauling my zombie carcass around to be there. I wish I had a self propelled thing of some kind, something that uses a system of pulleys and bungee cords. Just splat my zombie self against the side of a nearby building. I will peel off and not even notice if a few parts are left behind. Likely I never really needed them anyway. I’m really tired of my nose, eyes and lungs right now.

Happy Day out there, remember to wash your hands, avoid zombies – we are out there.