Writing Speed Porn

Filling Up The (Column) Inches
By Emily Dubberley

A few weeks back, I was launching a new sex site for women. We’d set pretty tight deadlines for the team but sure enough, with 24 hours to go before launch, we had 30,000 words of porn to write.

Not a good situation.

Even worse, some of it was is genres that didn’t even interest me; we try to cater for as broad a range as fantasies as possible but that doesn’t mean I’m an all-round perv!

This is when I learned how to write speed-porn that (hopefully) presses all the right buttons but takes a lot less time to write. Here are a few tips that may help when you’re up against it:

1. Base as much as you can on personal experience. Remembering a particularly hot night and writing it up is a lot easier than having to generate entirely original scenarios.

2. Take horny situations you’ve been in that never amounted to anything; those nights when there’s been a frisson in the air but something stopped things from developing. Imagine what would have happened and write it down.

3. Failing that, write up your most common fantasies that have no basis in reality. It’s amazing how much you remember; after all, you’ve been using it as masturbation material for years!

4. Think of every chat you’ve ever had in which sexual scenarios have been mentioned. Write them up (changing names for obvious reasons)

5. It sounds obvious, but pick scenarios that are easy to introduce sex into. Rather than having to convolute the lead characters into ending up in the sack, go for something like playing naked twister, being drunk at a party or having a girlie night in with a friend you’ve always fancied. It may lead to slightly clichĂ©d stories but given that most people read porn for masturbation material, as long as the sex scenes are well written, they probably won’t mind too much.

6. Start listening to every conversation around you, no matter how mundane. Inspiration can come from the strangest places. Hearing a barman saying ‘I’ll be coming right over in a second’ or a business colleague saying ‘I’m tied up all afternoon’ can trigger erotic stories if you’re keeping your dirty mind running full time.

7. Keep it real. You may be on deadline but it still needs to sound convincing. If you’re writing about anal sex, mention some form of lube. If you’re talking about blowing a 14 inch cock, mention some hand action (or gagging, but that’s far less erotic!) And if you’re writing about group sex, make sure the scenarios are physically possible.

8. Where possible, don’t write group sex on a deadline. It’s way harder to keep track of what five characters are doing than two or three, particularly if you want all of them to come. The less characters you have, the quicker you can write it up.

9. Ask everyone you know (via e-mail; you are on deadline) to suggest scenarios. If you’re a porn writer, throwing in the sex once you’ve got a prompt should be pretty easy.

10. Don’t masturbate or have sex until you’ve met deadline; that pent-up tension makes for great porn!

Emily Dubberley is the editor of http://www.cliterati.co.uk.

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