30 Days of Dominance

Found this posted to several Tumblr BDSM sites. Another project, for another time.

Day 1 – Does your Dominance – either what you practice or what you strive for – have a label? Do you view your preferred Dominant style as Taken in Hand, Domestic Discipline, Top/bottom, Dominant/submissive, Master/slave, Owner/pet, or some other description or combination? If you do not use a label, why?

Day 2 – Describe what you are looking for in a submissive and the techniques you might use to instill those characteristics in your submissive. Are you exclusively Dominant in marriage or just in the bedroom? Are you Dominant only in the context of a scene or in a role or throughout your daily life? Are you Dominant to play partners or only in the context of a relationship?

Day 3 – How do you know you are a Dominant or have the potential to be Dominant? How do you feel when you express your Dominance?

Day 4 – Do you switch into a submissive role at any time? Are you a “switch” in BDSM terms? If not, have you ever thought about it or given thought to why it’s not for you? If you are in a Domestic Discipline relationship, are there things that you do not maintain control over?

Day 5 – Have you been or are you in a Dominant/submissive dynamic relationship or is this new to you? Have you been in more than one D/s relationship? How were they the same? How were they different? What is unique about your relationships in your mind?

Day 6 – What do you feel are the roots of your Dominance? Do you think it has something to do with childhood, upbringing or parental example? Is it a relationship management tool as in the practice of domestic discipline? Is it a sexual thrill or something else?

Day 7 – Do you inflict discipline or punishment as part of your Dominance? Why or why not? How do you feel about discipline and punishment as tools used to invoke and maintain submission from your partner/s?

Day 8 – Is spanking or corporal punishment part of your Dominance? Why or why not? How do you feel about spanking and/or corporal punishment as tools used to invoke and maintain submission from your partner/s?

Day 9 – Do you set and enforce structure, rules and limits as part of your Dominance? Why or why not? How do you feel about the use of structure, rules and limits as tools used to invoke and maintain submission from your partner/s?

Day 10 – Do you utilise any elements of BDSM in your Dominant style? How do you feel about BDSM? Is it core to your Dominance, peripheral or non-existent?

Day 11 – Do you expect servitude from your submissive/s? How do you define servitude and service? What does it mean to you? If you do not seek or expect servitude from your submissive/s, what is it about the concept of servitude that is not for you?

Day 12 – Do you expect financial submission from submissive partner/s? If yes, how does it manifest itself? If no, is there a particular reason why? Are you familiar with the concept of financial submission? Do you have an opinion about financial submission in general?

Day 13 – Is sexual availability, having your submissive partner/s sexually available to you at any time and in any manner you choose, part of your expectations as a Dominant? Why or why not? Are there acceptable limits to this? If so, what are they?

Day 14 – Does religion have any bearing on your Dominance or the way you expect your partner/s to submit? If not, are you familiar with religious based submission and do you view it as similar to other types of submission or dissimilar?

Day 15 – Has your Dominance evolved over time? If so, how has it evolved for you? What do you attribute this evolution (or lack of) to?

Day 16 – Have you found that your Dominance has changed with different partners or relationships? If you’re involved with, or have been involved with, partners of both sexes, has your Dominance changed based on gender or do you feel that it is dependent on the submissive as an individual?

Day 17 – What does trust mean to you in the context of Dominance? How do you inspire trust in your submissive?

Day 18 – There is a common misconception that the submissive partner in a D/s relationship loses the ability to have and express an opinion. How does communication factor into your Dominance and what expectations do you have in terms of your submissive expressing their desires and needs? Is it limited in time, place or manner?

Day 19 – How socially connected are you as a Dominant? Do you look for others to talk to about your Dominance either for support, learning, educating or networking? Do you go to events or connect through another sort of social grouping either in person or online?

Day 20 – Has your Dominance increased or decreased over time? Have you ever had to renegotiate with your submissive due to a change in feelings or circumstance? Have your interests as a Dominant expanded or contracted over time?

Day 21 – Is there a physical position that makes you feel most Dominant? Is there a physical position you prefer your submissive to take in order to express their submission?

Day 22 – Can you feel Dominant without a submissive partner? If so, how does your Dominance express itself? If not, how do you handle your need to be Dominant?

Day 23 – Is there anything about Dominance, either your own or what you see in others, which you question, dislike or are repelled by? Was there a time you questioned or were resistant to your own Dominant needs and desires?

Day 24 – What are the emotions that most directly let you access your Dominance? What feelings do they inspire?

Day 25 – Are there items, objects or rituals that represent or help you express your Dominance? If not, have you ever thought of adding or being gifted one? Is there a special significance to these objects or rituals?

Day 26 – What are the qualities that you seek in a submissive partner? Are there qualities which you consider ‘must haves’ or ‘must not haves’? If so, what are they and for what reasons are they ‘must haves’ or ‘must not haves’?

Day 27 – Do you have Dominant desires or fantasies that you have yet to explore? Do some of your desires confuse or frighten you? Do they excite you?

Day 28 – Has your Dominance ever failed you? Have you ever been criticised or received negative feedback for your Dominance? Have you ever regretted your actions or emotions as a Dominant either in a moment or in a relationship? Have you ever looked back and realised you made a mistake and, if so, what lessons did you learn and how did you apply them?

Day 29 – Is pain or humiliation part of your Dominant expression? What is your relationship to pain and humiliation? Do you embrace it as part of your Dominance, inflict it reluctantly or have some other type of relationship with it?

Day 30 – Is your need to be Dominant being met? If not, or if your situation changed, do you think that you could continue in your life and be happy and content without being able to express your Dominance in the way that feels best to you? What makes being a Dominant special to you?

3 thoughts on “30 Days of Dominance”

  1. Mama mia, did you read all of them? Who would come up with something like this? One thing’s for sure, if you are going to think about and answer the questions, you’ll waste a lot of time. Time you could have dominated someone, or taken a sensual shower, or had a great nap, or spent the time searching for those shoes with those ridiculous hh, or………..well anything better than going through those silly questions. Those are for munches, fetish people without a fetish, insecure women, and men fantasizing about stuff they would never dare to practice. Oh yeah, and also for a bunch of deranged psychotherapists.

    1. Uhhh im not very sure what your comment was trying to get at but i know one thing is certain. This whole page is for people questioning if they were to enjoy dominance or not and simply just to get people to think. They have a whole other article about what to do if you do not know how to be a femdom. To be honest you are coming off very demeaning to anyone interested in female dominance. This is a way to spark things up in the bed room or something that both parties are into. I don’t know why you’re kind of attacking people like this but I don’t really appreciate it, but if you weren’t doing that then I’m sorry but your comment seemed to be coming off like that.

  2. I haven’t taken the time to go through all the questions (answering them) yet myself. It’s a lot to pin down just what you feel and think. So much is theory, fantasy and then reality doesn’t work out the way you planned.

    But, the questions are good. Answering them pushes you to make decisions and think before acting. I think the 30 Days is a good thing. If you have a partner do the questions with him or her.

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