Divorce Aftermath

When I started this site I was thinking less of sex and BDSM and far more about myself, recovering from divorcing the man who had become my best friend (long before we were married). I wrote an introduction to the site and left everything there as far as talking about divorce. But, I think, people need to talk about it more and share their own experiences as they pull themselves along in life.

As an update, I’m now older and wiser, all of 50 years of living. The divorce was over ten years ago, coming up to 15 years since I last spent time with my ex-husband in the same physical space and time. But, we talk online. Kind of ironic because we met as penpals, writing letters back and forth through the mail before the Internet evolved. I guess we are back to that, older and wiser and still connected in that way.

Domme in Daily Life: 30 Days of Dominance

Day 2 – Describe what you are looking for in a submissive and the techniques you might use to instill those characteristics in your submissive. Are you exclusively Dominant in marriage or just in the bedroom? Are you Dominant only in the context of a scene or in a role or throughout your daily life? Are you Dominant to play partners or only in the context of a relationship?

I Don’t Entirely Agree with the BDSM Test

== Results from bdsmtest.org ==
84% Primal (Hunter)
83% Dominant
67% Daddy/Mommy
63% Owner
59% Degrader
56% Rigger
50% Experimentalist
48% Switch
48% Vanilla
44% Master/Mistress
42% Sadist
37% Pet
36% Submissive
29% Girl/Boy
23% Rope bunny
18% Non-monogamist
18% Ageplayer
10% Brat
10% Slave
8% Primal (Prey)
4% Masochist
1% Exhibitionist
1% Voyeur
0% Degradee

Pet Play Auction Fantasy

I like the idea of a pet auction. But, I’d want to have the auction, not just prepare for it.

How would you prepare a male slave for a pet auction? Or, how would you like to be prepared for a pet auction, as a male slave? Have you day dreamed about being auctioned off?

There are still online BDSM auctions which can feel quite real, maybe a little too real for some. I have been part of auctions (as the merchandise and the buyer) when I played with a large community on IRC years ago. I can imagine a pet auction with mobile technology now. People could gather in reality and carry the auction through phones. It could happen in public, secretly. Only those involved would know there was an auction taking place. Quite likely some group are already making this real. But, in my version it’s all consensual, at least in the beginning. There can be no backing out once the auction has begun.

myreadingmanga.info
Via – myreadingmanga.info

People in Kinky History

I know about Bettie Page, even before watching the movie on NetFlix. I know about the Marquis de Sade and Fanny Hill (though I haven’t read it). I like reading about people in history so it’s good to have some new names to look up and research.

“People who want to live like Olympian gods must have slaves whom they throw into their fishponds and gladiators who fight during their masters’ sumptuous banquets–and the pleasure-seekers never care if some blood splatters on them.” — Leopold von Sacher-Masoch

The term sadism – the act of finding pleasure in the degradation or pain of others – originated from Marquis de Sade’s title, the author of the infamous 18th century text 120 Days of Sodom. Napolean Bonaparte, the man responsible for approximately 2.5 million deaths during the French wars, thought the the Marquis de Sade’s fiction was written from “the most depraved imagination” and ordered Sade’s imprisonment. Perhaps the Marquis’ literary fame invoked the jealousy of Napoleon, who was also a writer – but of markedly less-imaginative romantic fiction.edenfantasys.com

Vatsyayana, a celibate Indian monk who penned the Kama Sutra in the 2nd Century, wrote, “[sex] can be compared to a quarrel, on account of the contraries of love and its tendency to dispute.” The Kama Sutra not only tells readers where to “strike with passion,” but how – “back of the hand, fingers constricted, fist or palm.”

Pain can feel great. It leads to a rush of endorphins in the body similar to a push of morphine. Leopold Ritter Von Sacher-Masoch, like the Marquis de Sade, was an erotic author and imaginist who modeled his life after his fantasies. Sacher-Masoch traveled across Europe with his mistress, whom he requested be a “Venus in Furs” and enslave him – “the more cruelly she treats him and the more faithless she is, the worse she uses him, the more wantonly she plays with him, the less pity she shows him…she increase[s] his desire.”

In his 1748 novel Fanny Hill, the most frequently seized novel from United States mail, John Cleland tells the tale of young fictional Fanny – an English prostitute- who acts as a submissive. Cleland writes that the way Fanny’s body looked when she was being whipped, “feasted the luxury of the eye.” Literature isn’t the only place that BDSM elements have been shown as both sensual and aesthetic.

Bettie Page, a 1950s pin-up model, helped bring BDSM into mainstream American culture. Her infamous photos were the subject of public hearings headed by Estes Kefauver, a senator who twice ran for president. The Kefauver hearing centered on the indecency of pornography – especially images and video featuring BDSM elements. The 1959 trial was based on the premise that “merchants of filth” were “as dangerous to society as dope peddlers.”

Bettie herself was subpoenaed for the 1959 Kefauver trials in violation of obscenity laws, after a few of her naughtier photos, of her dressed in fetish heels and black lingerie, resurfaced in a porn shop. The stills and videos of Bettie spanking disobedient yet consenting women were seized by New York police.

Via edenfantasys.com

A Well Kept Man

It’s weird, but this makes him look more like a woman than men dressing up as women.

We get so focused on women being just parts. These parts in particular. I guess when the focus is the same parts for a male I still have the association.

Also, I don’t see all the cosmetics, frills and such as being something that makes a woman.  I don’t wear make-up myself. Does anyone else get that feeling from this image? Or, will I get more comments about how hateful I am? (Still makes me laugh a little).

Source: Mister Kristofer

Gay men BDSM sites often have good fantasy fare. But, overall it’s more fun to watch than to try to do it myself. Something like this would be fun for awhile but… for all the time it would take to get him into this, I don’t think the fun (for me) would be enough to make it worthwhile. Still, leaving him that way awhile (not unsupervised!) would probably give him a lot of subspace time. Especially if he knew I was still around but didn’t know what I was up to. I could be washing dishes but he could imagine I was up to all kinds of more interesting (for him) things. I could have fake phone conversations to really get him thinking, the mind fuck.

FemDom Halloween Costumes Needed

I found these costumes for a BDSM couple but, the order is reversed. She should be the key holder and he is the one locked up. Of course, the ball and chain could work either way. But, not everyone would understand she has him in chains versus him being chained to her. It could help if he were as scantily clad as she is. ballchain

lockkeySource: Adult Lock and Key Couples Costume – Halloween Costumes