Blog Talkers: Goals 2008

Blog Talkers: Goals

Where were you at midnight, when it became 2008? What sort of goals did you set for yourself for 2008? Have you met those goals? Are you working on those goals? Have your goals changed? If so, how? What are your goals for the remainder of 2008? Are you looking forward to 2009? Or are you just taking one day at a time?

I’m not a great goal setter. I tend to take everything as it comes along. I especially don’t want to set big, high goals and then disappoint myself again and again. That just makes you feel discouraged from trying.

Blog Talkers: Afraid

BlogTalkers: When was the last time you were afraid? What scared you? And how did you conquer your fears as a child? How do you conquer your fears today? What scares you the most? Do you have nightmares? If so, what are they? What was the most bizarre nightmare you’ve ever had? What was the most bizarre nightmare anyone has ever told you?

I’m still afraid of the dark. It’s silly but true. Last night doing laundry in the basement I had to go down into the dark room and feel around the corner for the light switch. Just a bit creepy to reach out into the dark. My other worst nightmares were around the time I was immigrating to the US and marrying down there. I dreamed all my hair and teeth were falling out.

My worst nightmares have been where the devil came to see me. Kind of funny cause I don’t believe in hell or the devil. But it was the scariest, most real feeling dream I ever had. I had the same kind of dream twice, different locations where he was wearing different clothes and faces.

I try not to have fears about things like spiders, toads, etc. Those are all such little things, fun kind of things to be afraid of when you think of the really big things out there. I’m afraid I will die an old wretched bag lady, alone and without a roof over my head. I’m afraid I won’t ever have a real place of my own to feel and be at home. Those are real things to be afraid of. Spiders just don’t have much on that.

Blog Talkers: Annoyed

Blog Talkers: Annoyed. What annoys you? What do you do that annoys other people? Are you quick to lose your temper? How often do you get annoyed? Do you have a short fuse? Tell us about the last time you were annoyed – REALLY annoyed.

I have a short fuse when I’m already frustrated or feeling trapped by someone or some thing. I very rarely get really angry. The last time was about 2 years ago.

I don’t talk about anger much. I grew up being told I was just being too sensitive or blowing things out of proportion so I just stopped getting angry. I try not to let anything of negative feelings show at all whether it’s anger or sadness, etc. In life it seems you are really only allowed to be happy and pleasing to others. Anything less is your fault and you have to deal with it alone.

Sometimes I have my blog as an outlet for my feelings. But, in reality I am either outgoing and social or just very quiet.

Blog Talkers: A Joke

Blog Talkers: Joke. What is a joke to you? What do you find funny? Do you appreciate a good practical joke, or do you think practical jokes are cruel? What is the best joke you’ve ever played on someone. What is the best joke you’ve ever heard?

To me a joke is something that makes you laugh. Not everyone laughs out loud, even a soft secret laugh is a big deal for some people. Just as big as a belly laugh that floods the room with sound from someone else.

I laugh at something clever, something real like day to day things that happen to everyone. Finding humour in the ordinary is a real skill. Bringing a new slant to the ordinary is always great.

Practical jokes are a little cruel. It all depends on how everyone reacts after the punchline. It’s not funny if someone is put on the spot of pretending they’re laughing on the outside and not hurt on the inside. It’s not really funny to pick on someone else. It’s also far too easy.

I don’t remember jokes. I guess when it comes to jokes and humour I just live in the moment.

Blog Talkers: Goals

Blog Talkers :

What is your most important goal in life? Why? (Please elaborate) How do you propose to get there? (Or how did you accomplish it). What sort of sacrifices will (or did) you have to make in order to achieve this goal? Once you’ve accomplished this goal, how will this change your life?

Hard to keep thinking of goals when so much of what I try seems to end up a total wipe out. Most of it my own fault, I guess. Not always sure when other people find it so easily to blame me for just about anything and everything.

Anyway, a goal, maybe not the most important goal, is to finish writing a book and get it published. I’ve been in denial of this goal a long time. But, reading some of the books out there, I think I really should press on and get on with it. At least I can check my own typos. How will it change my life… well, I’d have a job I would actually like and couldn’t be fired from. Unless I fired myself.

I’ve sacrificed so much of myself for half assed reasons and self doubt. I can’t afford too many more sacrifices before I just disappear all together.

Also, Blog Talkers from last week, which I missed:

If you could go back in time and witness one event from your family’s history, what would it be? (Be specific). How would this change impact your life? How would this change impact the lives of those close to you?

I would like to see my Grandparents as children. Nothing fancy, just a family dinner together out on the Prairies in the old sod house. I’d like to see them laugh about something little and do all the regular family things including nit pick at each other. I don’t know how it would change anything. I’d just like to see who they were before they were old or too long ago dead for me to ever meet my Grandparents and Great Grandparents. Wouldn’t you like to see your family when they were still young and at the beginning stage of their life?

Blog Talkers – Spring


Spring. What’s the best part of spring? What’s the worst part of spring? What does spring time mean to you? Do you get spring fever? Do you give your house a good spring cleaning? How has Daylight Saving Time changed your routine? What’s the best thing about Daylight Saving Time? What’s the worst? (other than the loss of time, of course – be original! 🙂 ).

Spring makes me think of tulips and other early Spring flowers. I like the rain in Spring, it helps melt away the snow. The last of the snow is usually pretty messy looking with road dirt, salt and sand and other things contributed from people’s pets. I think the only ugly thing in Spring is what is uncovered once the snow melts. One of the best things are the fresh rain and new growth, buds on trees and the grass suddenly becomes green and lush again.

I should do a Spring Cleaning. Not real keen on it. Daylight Saving wasn’t too bad for me. But it will help that I have this week off. I really can’t think of a best or worst for Daylight Savings time. It’s only an hour after all. One good thing, it makes an excuse for being a bit late for work at least one day. Of course, it works better if you happen to live alone and there isn’t anyone there to ‘remind’ you.

Blog Talkers: Sexy

From Blog Talkers:
Name three things that make a man, or woman, sexy. Why do you think these things make them sexy? Name one thing about you that is sexy. Why do you think this one thing is sexy about you?

A brain, a smile and taking some interest in their appearance. I’m not really sure what makes one person sexy and another just ok. Being clean is a big plus. Being freindly, having a smile is a certainly another step in that direction. I think in the long run it comes from inside more than outside. Being able to carry and start a conversation. Being good to other people, listening and making people feel you care about what they have to say. Charm and charisma are sexy but not something you can fake easily. I think a person who is not especially attractive can be sexy.

I don’t feel sexy. If anything about me is sexy maybe it’s my hair. I like my colour, rich and dark and it has just the right amount of curl to twine around my finger. When I spend a little time on it (for me that means brushing it after a shower) it looks really good. I think it makes me feel sexy too.

Blog Talkers: Heart

From Blog Talkers: Heart. What is close to your heart? Does heart disease run in your family? Would you say your heart is in good shape? Would you ever consider donating your heart after passing away? Why or why not?

I’m keeping my heart packed away in tin foil. It’s been battered, bruised and broken enough for awhile. Not that I’m closed off entirely but I’m worn out from trying to be as giving and open as I used to be. A heart needs a few calluses if it’s going to survive.

I would not donate anything if I passed away. I believe in reincarnation as a recycling procress and all of us will be just a body (meat) when we die. Souls or whatever that element is, get passed along to become something else. But, still, I have the feeling that what was me on the outside should stay that way. Worms can feast on my remains but it just seems strange for someone else to be wearing my heart, my eyes, etc. Not a selfish thing just seems that something of me should be left private, not given away to someone else. I would feel very weird about having someone else’s heart. I think I would rather not do that at all.

Have you ever looked at your hand and felt it was not really your hand? I have. It was extremely eerie. Suddenly I couldn’t trust my own hand and it felt detached from the rest of me.

Blog Talkers: Love

Blog Talkers: Talking about Love

Love. What does love mean to you? Do you feel like you have found love? Are you still looking? Do you believe in love at first sight? Why or why not? Why do you think people try so hard to find love?

Love is something you build over time and being together and caring about someone. I think there is love at first sight between family members, a new baby and parents. I don’t believe that really happens between two people. It might seem that way. But love is deeper than lust or affection. I love my family, in spite of good and bad in the past. I love them for all sorts of reasons. I can be furious with them and still love them. The love is not a part of whatever is going on in the present. It’s deeper. I don’t understand how Mothers and daughters, sons and Fathers and sisters and brothers can not speak to each other for years over some trivial thing. It seems a very shallow and selfish and extremely silly thing to me.

I’ve never been in love, I thought I was. I was married and then divorced from a man who said he loved me. I met others who said the same but had no trouble leaving me over small things. Love is a word misused, abused and thrown around when a guy wants sex, not love. I want a lot more than sex. I can have sex without a man in the room. As good as I am at that you’d think I’d love myself more. I’m working on it, the loving myself part.

I do think that you have to at least be working at loving yourself before someone else can love you too. How can you trust someone who says they love you unless you see yourself as someone who can be loved?

Blog Takers: Back to the Future

Blog Talkers Weekly … If you could go back in time, what one piece advice would you give yourself? Question submitted by: Shawna

Don’t take this the wrong way… but you’re going to die. Live well while you can. Spend less time considering what others think of you. Most of the time they have their own problems and won’t even notice you. Don’t give your time and energy to the people who only give you back negativity. Enjoy life, be less afraid of making mistakes. Do the things you have always wanted to do. Trust yourself more, a lot more.