I’ve Become Super Noob

I started writing as Super Noob on Lindsay’s blog, Web Design for Idiots. Tonight I wrote the following as an introduction to who I am and why I’m someone who might have a reason to be writing there.

I’m posting this from my very messy desk with the TV on to my left and my nearly cold coffee at my right hand, in danger of wrecking my faithful little scanner. I’m a real woman. I’m a real, live, 40+, divorced Canadian woman, a writing legend in my own mind.

In June of 1996 I began on the Internet. I was an IRC diva for quite a long time. It was a lot of fun and most of it I really should not write about here. That’s what personal blogs are all about. I wrote for a zine first, a small print publication called The Crying Clown. From there it was all online. At one point I was producing my own newsletter for writers, InkSplatters, sent out through what is now Yahoo Groups. I was a web writer for HerPlanet, BackWash, BellaOnline, Suite 101, WZ-ard.com and other sites, forums and newsletters some still living and some not. I still write for Creative Fat Grrl on LockerGnome, a babbly blog more than anything seriously functional. Writing for a network is a different educational experience than writing for yourself. Which is one reason I keep doing it.

I’ve had sites and then blogs of my own. I didn’t begin online in the great time of blogging, I was here before that. So my first sites were put together with just HTML code as I learned and goofed it up. I’ve used software and I’ve cut and pasted code and I’ve hand coded my own pages. I’m not an expert, time alone isn’t enough to make you an expert at web design or development. I have learned however and as I learn I see how much more there is to be explored and discovered. But, don’t look to me expecting I’m a know-it-all. If I ever say that you can be sure I’m just laughing at myself.

I love creative things. I’ve done so many interesting forms of art, just to try them out. I made ASCII art for a few years. I continue to take digital photos of abandoned places here in Ontario, starting in 2006 when I bought my first digi camera. I’m also teaching myself to draw cartoons, some people even like them! This week I re-learned the art of cutting out paper doll chains so I could make them into a graphic for a blog. I really think it’s important to keep the creativity and free writing in blogging. It would be a real shame if the personal journal and creative element of blogging were lost in the rush for SEO and money making.

Anyway, I’m here to help the less experienced blogger with my experiences. I’ve got a stack of great books about web design on my bookshelf and I will be using them (finally) for more than a place to hide my dust bunnies. I seem to collect books with great good intentions and then not get very far. You can also find me writing about web writing and posting writing ideas and prompts on my blog, Word Grrls.

ThatGrrl.ca

Completely off topic… did you know that a nail file works really well if you have an itchy spot on your back that you just can’t reach? I’ve been rubbing my back on my chair tonight wishing for something to work. Then I had the great idea for the nail file (not one of those treacherous metal ones, just some cardboard type) and that worked great!

To Ignore or Not to Ignore…

Guys, you are not entitled to a response. We don’t even know you. We’re not trying to be rude, we are just trying to be efficient and to protect ourselves from immature, unwarranted insults.

Source: I Responded To Everyone Who Messaged Me On OkCupid and Here’s What Happened | Single Girl Blogging

 

I noticed that men who had written a longer note tended to be upset/ angrier when she was not interested. This is interesting to me because I tend to put time into writing a note if I’m interested in a man online. I try to appreciate the directness when someone isn’t interested back, it’s not easy.

But, I do get annoyed with men who send notes without actually reading my profile to know who I am and then get pissy when I’m not interested.

Overall it’s better to send a note back I think. We used to have auto scripts we could post on IRC. That could be an idea dating sites and forums should start using. A quick auto reply would give a response rather than leaving people feel ignored. How they deal with a negative response is up to them. Hope they can handle it with some maturity and grace.

Really Neat Blogging Award Makes Me Blush!

These are the questions from A Slip of a Girl:

My questions are:

1.) I know it is difficult (understatement!), but what is your favorite type (bras, panties, slips, etc.) of intimate apparel?

Other than soft and slinky nightgowns I guess I would pick bras as my favourite. If they fit well.

2.) Imagine there are only three pieces of the most stunning lingerie style left on the sales rack… One is too small, one is too large, the third is your size — but not in a color you like. Which one do you choose & why?

I’d consider my budget at that point and decide not to get anything until it really suited me. Or, if the budget was in good shape I would choose to get the one in a larger size but the right colour. I’ve often made decisions like that, just not buying anything until it was just right for me.

3.) If you could have one wish granted by today’s lingerie makers, what would it be?

Far more colours and better quality in plus sizes. I’m not a big fan of black, or white.

4.) Do you and your partner have any disagreements over lingerie? If so, what is the biggest one?

I have no partner. I expect he would like whatever I wanted to wear, when I wanted to wear it. There should be some perks to being a Domme.

5.) What’s the most important thing you have learned or discovered here at A Slip Of A Girl?

You!

Source: Really Neat Blogging Award Makes Me Blush!

Gracie’s Questions

From Gracie on SK: Should you wish to participate, here are my relatively random questions:

Whipped cream in a can, non-dairy topping in a tub, or ala mode? (And, yeah, we’re talking sex play here, not a topping on the kind of pie you’d get at a diner.) Elaborate. *wink*

To be honest I cringe at the idea of sticky stuff on my skin in that way. So I’d be none of the above. But, if he were to pester me about it, he would be the one wearing the ice cream.

So, you’re a sex blogger, or at least a blogger not afraid to be here and respond to such questions… If you’re in a serious or committed relationship, which came first: the blog or your relationship? If you’re not in a serious relationship, one day you might be; when and how do you fancy divulging your blogging vice?

I’m not in a committed relationship. I tend to tell all – I’m pretty horrible at keeping secrets. So, I’d already have him reading my blog by the time things got in a committed way.

Would you rather be a superhero or a villain? Why?

A villain by far. I’m already known for being “the nice one” among family and friends. Do you know how limiting that is? Yes, I am nice, I respect others, I help others… and so on. But, if I could let go of all that I would LOVE to be the villain. Likely that’s what a lot of the attraction of being Dom is. I can feel like I’m dangerous, or at least not so nice.

What’s worse: marketing your blog or marketers contact you for freebie posts at your site?

I don’t mind marketing my site so much. I do things my own way. I read what others say we should do and then I decide to take them seriously or not. People asking for freebies gets annoying because they don’t show any care or respect for what I’m doing. They offer junk, irrelevant junk, mindless and meaningless praise and they even try spinning it all by telling me what a great favour they are doing me – letting me have free content for my site.

What’s the worst/rudest/nosiest question you’ve ever been asked that you refused to blog about? And will you answer it now? *wink*

I have no idea. I usually answer any question. Even something kind of shocking at first will get me thinking and next thing, I’ve written a whole answer inside my head (if not in the blog too). 

Source: In Which Am Tagged & I Grudgingly Respond | Sex~Kitten.net

The Neatness of Blogging About Sex

The real question is – How do Wookies type with all that hair on their fingers? Once you get past that go ahead and read the questions and answers Kilted Wookie posted for this distinguished award in blogging neatness. To follow are the questions I answered when it was my turn and last – the questions and nominees I’ve passed this award along to.

  1. How did you come across your blogging persona?
  2. What inspired you to write your first blog?
  3. What is your greatest unfulfilled fantasy/dream?
  4. What has blogging taught you about yourself?
  5. How many “real life” people know you are a blogger and how did it make you feel when you discovered they knew?
  6. Lights on or off?
  7. What do you normally wear in bed?

Source: A Real Neat Blog? | A Kilted Wookie Writes…

How did you come across your blogging persona?

It’s not really a persona. Somewhere between being contrary, curious and painfully honest I am just being myself. But, we are all full of ourselves, lots of niches and unexpected surprises. So, it’s not too hard to be myself and yet be different from who I am when I’m not thinking about relationships, men or anything related.

The other reason I don’t try to keep up a persona: it’s just too complicated! I know people who blog with several personas over several sites in different niches. I just don’t want to make my brain work that hard to figure out who I am.

What inspired you to write your first blog?

My first blog was on something other than GeoCities (which Yahoo bought out) back in 1996. I loved the free writing, the derring-do of doing anything as long as you could understand enough HTML to do it!

On top of that, it was liberating to write and talk about sex, kinks and fetishes. I didn’t blog about that until a bit later. Back then I was having a great time as an IRC diva. I met a lot of the early online BDSMer’s. I did things online that people don’t seem to do online any more. Or, not nearly as well. In those early days the men were more fun and didn’t always offer you photos of their penis.

I began writing about my IRC adventures just for fun. We played a lot of truth or dare and we played live BDSM scenes and events too. I was involved in BDSM auctions as the seller, buyer and the auctioneer – I was up there being sold too. It was a great group and I wish I hadn’t lost touch with all of them. But.. Dommed if you do; Dommed if you don’t.  Years later I wrote for the red light zone at BackWash.com but the whole network has been gone for years now. That was another good community.

What is your greatest unfulfilled fantasy/dream?

The simple wish for someone to grow old with. I think that is the hardest fantasy to fulfill.

What has blogging taught you about yourself?

I don’t really have an answer for that. Blogging (writing) has gotten me through rough times in my life. Did I learn anything? Seems not, I keep doing the same stuff over again and expecting something to be different. But, I don’t think I’m insane, just contrary.

I guess I have learned that pushing yourself to be perfect and make everyone else content is just a way to burn yourself out. I still haven’t learned it well enough to stop trying to be perfect. With blogging you really do have to write for yourself, no matter what all the SEO guru regurgitate in all their blogs.

How many “real life” people know you are a blogger and how did it make you feel when you discovered they knew?

They all know because I told them. It’s not a deep, dark secret. I even told them I write adult content (fiction and non-fiction). Recently (this year) it came up in conversation and my family were surprised I write about sex. Then they remembered they had forgotten about it. So, not much drama there.

I don’t introduce myself as a sex blogger. I decide when to pop it into the conversation or if to mention it at all.

Weirder than the blogging thing is having posted your photo in your Fetlife profile then have a man you don’t know approach you in the grocery store in town – and he knows your name!

Lights on or off?

You can’t turn the lights off in the day. It doesn’t matter to me. Lights off is nice because I can take off my eye glasses and not see any better or worse in the dark. Lights on is good – less chance of poking him in the eye, etc.

What do you normally wear in bed?

I love long nightgowns. Some are soft cotton, some are silky, slinky satin but the longer the better, with sleeves too. I like something luxurious that will sway along with me when I walk. Assorted colours: deep red, dark pink, jewel tones of green and blue, soft yellow, orange… etc.

I know women who wear underwear and bras to bed, I’ve never done that. It’s enough to wear all that stuff day to day. The evenings are my time to feel decadent, romantic like a woman from long ago, but with the modern conveniences of indoor plumbing.

On to my own nominations and questions forthwith:

Gracie at Sex Kitten @GraciePassette

Submissive Guy Comics @SGCposts

A Bad Gentleman  @abadgentleman

A Slip of a Girl @SlipOfAGirl

Rose at Ruined Boudoir @RuinedBoudoir

  1. What colours do you like to wear to feel sexy, and why?
  2. You have an unlimited budget and no figure flaws to consider – describe a sexy outfit you’d like to wear.
  3. Even if you only walk from the shower to your bedroom… what do you like about walking around nude?
  4. Is sex more mental or physical for you, how/ why?
  5. What is/ was the best thing about your favourite sexual partner so far?
  6. Did you tell him or her at the time, or ever?

 

 

I Don’t Know…

I don’t know what I’m doing with my sites right now. So don’t ask me.

I have more domains than energy, time, passion and… brains. I’ve got most of them in suspended animation while I decide where I’m going next.

I’ve had an adventure with blogging, more than ten years of it, so it doesn’t seem surprising that something needs to change. Me, most likely, since no one else wants to do it.

So this blog and all the others are in turmoil and hiatus at the same time.

Meanwhile… did you know Canada Post has a Haunted Canada collection of stamps, coins and postcards?

Haunted Canada Collection

Early Sex Blogging History

I posted the link to the post I commented on at Scoop.it: Sex Writer. Plus two other posts which were trying to look back and figure out who the first sex blogger was.

I cut and pasted my comments because I will try to remember more and look up the sites. The Wayback Machine is great for something like this.

Big Blogging Women – BBW

I seem to have a need to begin new projects. I don’t always have the energy or social personality to take them as far as I would like to see them go. What I do have is endless ideas and some of them really are good. Even if it is just me saying so.

I’d like to start a directory for BBW, large sized women with blogs. Why? Well, because I like to read them myself and it would be nice to give each of them a place to connect, find each other and inspire each other. I already have a great WordPress plugin to run the directory from. It does need a bit of a tweak but nothing difficult. So I am going to begin adding the blogs I already know about from my own looking around and my digging for BBW sites at Scoop.it. If you find this directory, you are welcome to join. You can submit your blog through the WordPress plugin and I will review it (to make sure it’s not someone spamming their way in) and then add it.

I decided not to do this. But, if someone wanders into this post and is interested in taking up the idea I would work with someone else to do it.

Operation Nice and The Kind Hearted Blogger Campaign

Operation Nice

About Operation Nice – Don’t you love it when people go out of their way to be nice? Like when someone waits to hold the door for you. Or when a stranger waves you into a line a traffic. Or even when a coworker shoots you a friendly smile along with a “have a nice day.” If everyone was a little bit nicer to the folks they encountered each day, perhaps the world would be a more pleasant place. Operation NICE was initiated to remind you that a little NICE goes a long way.

The Kind Hearted Blogger Campaign

AS A KIND-HEARTED BLOGGER I PLEDGE TO:

  • create, inspire, and admire rather than compete with fellow bloggers
  • be understanding of each other– in the blogging community, as well as in the world
  • stay away from internet/blogging bullying
  • speak my opinion freely, while still being mindful of other’s feelings– be tactful.
  • make an effort–no matter how big or small the gesture, to spread kindness or joy to others
  • acknowledge that I will make mistakes, (I am only human) but remember to learn from them
  • know that at times I will post about the negative stuff in life, and maybe even some complaining (I am only human) but I will always follow up with something happy/positive too.
  • believe that this world is a good place, filled with good people.