For me marriage has now become more of an servant relationship for me. Lately I’ve gotten much better at serving, I’m used to getting up earlier to make breakfast, take care of the home, I give excellent massage and oral sex has become a daily thing in my recent relationships. I know if I were to ever marry, the ring would symbolize not just a bond, but ownership. I’m not rushing to marry but if I ever do, I know I would be hers forever.
Long ago, in the days of the Internet surfing highway, there was a purity test with over 1000 questions. I found a copy of it. Posted for your viewing (or take the test) pleasure.
THE UNISEX PURITY TEST
If you thought the millenial purity test was bad, well you ain’t see
This is the 1500 point Purity Test!
We felt that the 1000 point version lost a lot of the “fun” of the
earlier versions, so we re-wrote it, adding a few new sections, and
a shitload of questions. This test is guaranteed to be nosier that
your parents, more invasive than the census, and containing something
to offend everybody.
Also included is an answer form so that you can remember where in the
test you were, or show to a friend.
Wicked Wednesday – Wave
I like the wave of his hair. Most men with long hair just don’t interest me. They let the hair get tangled, they don’t seem to wash it enough (or they just sweat too much). For some reason long haired men never turned me on. Or if one did, it would be about the rest of him, not his hair.
Jeff… I’ll just call him Jeff, has a thick, wavy head of hair. The front is a layer of bangs which tend to fall over his face. At the back it grows long, a little past his shoulders, soft and luxurious. In the wind his hair blows around his face. When he tips his chin up he looks like a lion with a proud mane.
I like to have Jeff chained to my bed in the morning. His arms resting along the top of the headboard, his wrists chained or tied to the bedposts. His head bowed down, hiding his expression.
If I look closer I will see him watching me. His eyes peer up through his bangs. Accusing, when I left him tied up while I enjoyed a nice Sunday morning breakfast and coffee, without him. Pouting, when he thought I’d been too mean the night before. Best of all, is the slow burn of his smile when he is hoping for more. Of course, I don’t see his smile. It’s there in his eyes, the seductive twinkle. Looking up at me, through that wavy mane of his hair. I know he’s just pretending to be patient, waiting, lurking, tied up in my bed.
This TMI Tuesday let’s play our own 31 Sexual Favors. List 31 unique and exciting sexual activities or services you’d put on your very own tokens that are guaranteed to make you the favorite flavor of the week.
- Strip him down and just watch him stand there, doing nothing.
- Tie him to my bed frame then tease and torment him while wearing rubber gloves.
- Take him out for breakfast, put a bib on him and just smile at anyone who notices.
- Have coffee at home. Mine in a teacup, his in his doggie bowl.
- Give him a temporary collar, just for one day.
- Draw all over him with markers then wash it off when I’m done.
- Tie him in the doorway, arms and legs apart, then play with a feather.
- Give him a list of domestic duties, starting with making my coffee so I can ignore him while I read a good book.
- Have a big cage delivered to the house as a surprise. Then put him in it.
- Go to bed and leave him to sleep on the floor, nude but with a blanket.
- Take photos of him posing nude in the snow. Snow angels.
- Take photos of him at abandoned farm houses, nude or wearing just a leash and collar.
- Petting him like a good puppy for half an hour.
- Letting him wash my hair and my back in the shower. That is all.
- Take him out shopping for new clothes while wearing pink panties.
- Show him I’m wearing sexy undies then go out for the day and not let him touch me.
- Flash him just for fun.
- Flash him in the kitchen when he has important people over for dinner.
- Circle the pictures of cock cages in an adult toy catalogue and leave it for him to find.
- Tell him, “I’ve changed my mind.” Right before I leave the house. If he insists on more information just say, “We’ll talk about it later.” or “You know what I mean.” or “Have you forgotten or were you just not listening?” if you really want to keep it going.
- Lock him into some kind of bondage, then ‘lose’ the key until he really believes you have lost the key.
- Try Japanese rope bondage on him, when he’s all knotted up go unload the dishwasher or something else kind of boring and everyday.
- Use him for a coffee table (without burning him).
- Take my trained sex robot to bed.
- Let him pick out panties for me at the store, then buy them in his size.
- Tie a pretty ribbon around his cock, with a bow. But, take all day to open my ‘present’.
- Examine him. Taking my time and telling him what I’m doing and what will be examined next.
- Use a flyswatter to ‘punish’ him.
- Play Truth or Dare, by my own unfair rules.
- Blindfold him and play with his mind. The mind fuck.
- Send him this tweet (found on Twitter yesterday):
Originally written for The Crying Clown Zine (c. 1998)
Just picture yourself, in mid ritual, suddenly your Book of Shadows falls to the floor with an unpleasant sounding thud. Silly you, you forgot your altar!
The Wiccan/ Pagan altar is not just for eating your breakfast on anymore. Also, those looking forward to virgin sacrifices are in for a disappointment. But, look on the bright side, now you don’t have to save yourself for that big moment on the stone slab, just go out and have fun!
So, what should you know about constructing your very own altar? Start with all natural ingredients and assemble them inside a circle. Those are the basics. Your altar can be outdoors for all the little bugs and squirrels to see or it can be inside and easily pushed under your bed for those with parents who like to make room inspections still. An altar can even be made on your desk at work. Just use some creativity and no one will suspect you have brought Pagan influences to concrete jungle.
The altar itself can have a circular base or square, depending on how natural you want to go with it. Outdoors, a fire can substitute for an altar. Make sure you are prepared to safely extinguish it before you leave. Face your altar in a direction of power, generally that’s north, the direction associated with Earth. Some Wiccan use east and west, the direction the sun rises and sets. Lastly, everything on your altar is positioned in a pattern. The arrangement is very individual and can be kept track of in your Book of Shadows. (The Book of Shadows is a book or some other form of note keeping Wiccan use for their exploration and discoveries along their path of learning.)
Just raring to go and get Medieval, I mean creative? To dedicate your altar to the Goddess and God, something you can choose to do. Set up put the tools dedicated to the Goddess (pentacle, cup, bell, crystal, cauldron and others) on the left side of the altar. The tools dedicated to the God (athame, censer, white handled knife, etc) are placed on the right side. In the middle of the altar, you please yourself; at least that is how I see it.
If you don’t follow the ‘standard’ altar plan with God and Goddess on either ends you can fill those areas of your altar with things to represent the elements: Earth, Air, Water and Fire. The idea is to stick to natural ingredients but you can do a lot with those. A natural altar contains assorted leaves, stones, drawings/ pictures, candles, seashells, feathers, flowers/ herbs, a glass of water, your pet guppy, tissues (handy if you have a cold) and a pirate’s treasure map (assuming you can find one). Keep in mind the elements. The feather and leaves can represent Air. The candle and maybe some burnt offerings from breakfast can represent Fire. Water is easy with seashells or a glass of water. Earth can be represented by the stones or leaves (think compost, just don’t put it on your altar unless you are ready for the smell).
The altar is the physical centre of a ritual. Its a place of power and magick. To think it is mostly a flat surface to work at is a mistake. Some of your energy and magick will remain in your altar after each ritual. You will be bringing a lot from yourself to the ritual and your altar. Because of this, your altar must have special meaning to you. Use your own sense of style, things that are important, have meaning to you, and design your altar to suit yourself and your needs.
All the deliciousness of a big breakfast baked into a cookie! This snack by Donna Fier is simply unforgettable.
For more information visit Recipe to Riches!
Cooking time: 15 minutes
1/2 cup unsalted butter
1 package bacon (500 g)
2/3 cup packed brown sugar
1/3 cup granulated sugar
3 tablespoons buttermilk
2 tablespoons maple syrup
1 teaspoon vanilla
1 unit egg
1 2/3 cups all-purpose flour
1/2 teaspoon baking powder
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1/4 teaspoon salt
In small saucepan, melt butter over medium heat; cook, swirling pan often, until tan coloured and fragrant with a nutty aroma, about 2 to 5 minutes. Pour into large bowl and set aside to cool slightly.
Meanwhile, in batches cook bacon over medium heat until crisp, spooning off fat as necessary. Drain on paper towel-lined baking sheet. Chop bacon.
Using wooden spoon, stir sugars, buttermilk, maple syrup and vanilla into cooled butter. In small bowl, beat egg until frothy; beat into butter mixture. In another bowl, whisk together flour, baking powder, baking soda and salt. Fold into butter mixture along with bacon, just until combined. Cover and chill dough for 30 minutes.
Preheat oven to 375F (190C). Line two baking sheets with parchment paper.
Shape dough by forming heaping tablespoonfuls into balls; place 2 inches (5 cm) apart on prepared baking sheets. Bake one sheet at a time in centre of oven until puffed and set, about 10 minutes. Cool for 5 minutes on baking sheet; transfer to rack to cool completely.
Astro has a new caramel yogurt. It’s delicious. So far I can only find it at one store here. Went to their site and found this pancake recipe. I haven’t tried adding yogurt to pancakes before. Just butternilk. Sounds like a good idea, though I don’t think I’d use the caramel yogurt for pancakes.
Homestyle Pancakes with Fresh Berries
|1 cup||sifted flour||250 mL|
|1 tbsp||sugar||15 mL|
|¾ tsp||baking soda||3.75 mL|
|½ tsp||salt||2.5 mL|
|1 cup||Astro Original Balkan style yogourt||250 mL|
|½ cup||water||125 mL|
|1 tbsp||melted Lactantia butter, plus additional for brushing griddle||45 mL|
Originally posted to Adult BackWash: Friday February 20, 2004
“Greg, I’d be lying if I said this was going to hurt you as much as it’s going to hurt me. It’s not going to hurt me at all. In fact, I’m going to have fun while you squirm.” Sharon jerked on his collar and slipped the leash through one of the metal loops. “Get up, you’ve got a long night ahead of you.”
She yanked on the leash and pulled him along, back to the main room. Kicking the box and packaging out of her way she sat down on the couch and hauled him down over her lap. His hands were grabbed one at a time and locked onto the sides of his collar with handcuffs. It was very uncomfortable to have his arms twisted up mostly behind his back. He wasn’t putting up with this!
Without saying anything Sharon began spanking him. Greg was so surprised he didn’t even feel the sting of her hand right away. He started to get up but she jerked on the leash again, pulling him back down. When he still struggled to stand the leash was removed, she dug an elbow into the small of his back and then began whipping his ass with the leather leash. That really stung. Greg, struggled harder but she thwarted him by jabbing in her elbow harder. Other than becoming violent himself there was little he could do but let himself be spanked. It was humiliating.
The spanking didn’t become painful, just stinging repeatedly. It felt like wasps were stinging his butt cheeks over and over again. Just as he was wondering how much more he could tolerate she stopped, hooked the leash back into his collar and shoved him off her lap and onto the floor. He looked up at her, his ass and his pride abused, and started getting mad.
“You have no right to do anything like that to me.” He demanded.
“I have every right Greg. You’re my male bride. You signed the contract, you handed over your identity and your life to the agency and myself.” Sharon, pushed him over and stood up. “As far as the world is concerned you don’t even exist any more. You belong to me, completely and until death.”
Sharon left him on the floor. She went into the kitchen and poured herself a glass of cold water. When she came back she had one for him, in a babyish plastic cup. “You didn’t really read all those papers, did you?” She tossed the thick stack of papers at him and freed his hands so he could pick them up. “You should read them now. You really should have read them before. Though, I seriously doubt you would be here if you had.” She laughed softly, without much sympathy and left him. She went to bed in her own room. He heard the door close, softly.
Greg spent the next several hours reading the contracts and paperwork. Finding out just how little control he now had over his own life and just how little he could do about it. At some point he tried to leave the apartment. But, it was locked from inside. No one would be coming in or getting out without some help from a security expert or the owner of the apartment and the security.
His ass was too sore to sit down so he went back to the bathroom and had a shower. He felt better then. He tried her bedroom door as he went by but it was locked. He was shut in the apartment and shut out of her room. Alone. Feeling pretty depressed and fatalistic he went into the smaller bedroom and feel asleep on top of the bed.
She was there when his eyes opened. She was the one who actually peeled his eyes open and prodded his numb ass. “It’s Friday, I took off today and the weekend. Get up. Your first job of each day is to be up early and make the coffee. After that you can start what ever cleaning needs to be done. I make my own breakfast and will let you know when you can be fed. This morning I’ll make my own coffee but it will be the last time.”
He moaned but she didn’t show any pity. When he turned over his ass felt on fire. So he half rolled off the bed, realizing he was alone again and went into the bathroom. She’d left out soap and a towel for him. Both had his name written on them in laundry marker. There were a few cupboards but each were locked. If he wanted anything to put on his ass he’d have to actually ask her for it. That was just a bit too much, he’d rather live with the pain.
Sharon had already made breakfast and was finishing her first cup of coffee when he finally wandered into the kitchen. So far she wasn’t too impressed with Greg. He seemed more like a sulky kid than anyone you’d want to spend real time with. He was definitely ruining her long weekend. Little jerk. Well, she had already phoned the agency to come over and bring a replacement. Bianca, the agency founder had taken the call herself. She’d apologized for the unsatisfactory bride. There wasn’t much to do until Bianca came over.
“You may as well have breakfast Greg. There’s a kiddie bowl on the sideboard. Don’t make a mess.” Sharon was too annoyed to sit with him so she gathered up her coffee and went into the next room.
“What’s for breakfast?” Called Greg. She ignored him. Was he really that dense?
“There’s nothing here but Sugar Flakes.” He whined. Yes, he really was that dense. Thankfully she wasn’t going to be stuck with him.
Sharon spent the morning reading the paper and waiting for Bianca. Greg spent the morning lolling around her apartment, not cleaning up the wrappings from yesterday or his own breakfast mess from this morning. Sharon could feel her annoyance building into anger. Bianca had promised to be there just after noon. It couldn’t be too soon.
For Mother’s Day from Martha Stewart – Bacon, Egg and Toast Cups.
Try cooked, crumbled sausage in place of bacon or make a vegetarian version with sauteed spinach. Dress things up with a sprinkle of Parmesan cheese.
3 tablespoons unsalted butter, melted
8 slices white or whole-wheat sandwich bread
6 slices bacon
6 large eggs
Coarse salt and ground pepper
Preheat oven to 375 degrees. Lightly butter 6 standard muffin cups. With a rolling pin, flatten bread slices slightly and, with a 4 1/4-inch cookie cutter, cut into 8 rounds. Cut each round in half, then press 2 halves into each muffin cup, overlapping slightly and making sure bread comes up to edge of cup. Use extra bread to patch any gaps. Brush bread with remaining butter.
In a large skillet, cook bacon over medium, until almost crisp, 4 minutes, flipping once. (It will continue to cook in the oven.) Lay 1 bacon slice in each bread cup and crack an egg over each. Season with salt and pepper. Bake until egg whites are just set, 20 to 25 minutes. Run a small knife around cups to loosen toasts. Serve immediately.
Standard muffin pans come in 6- or 12-cup size; if baking 6 items in a 12-cup pan, leave empty space in between. Nonstick pans are nice but not essential. Beware of very thin pans, which often lead to burning. Place pans on a baking sheet to make them easier to get in and out of the oven.