I’m Going to be Hiding on Halloween

Not everyone wants to be a part of Halloween. We all have our reasons and we might actually enjoy parts of the holiday and the days leading up to it. But, not all of us want to wait by the door to hand out candy to trick-or-treaters. Not all of us want to attend Halloween parties. For whatever your reason, you may be among those of us who hide on Halloween.

Create Your own Halloween Magic – A disappearing act

Personally, I have no children and would rather leave the handing out of candy to those who would enjoy it. I don’t. Nothing against the dear little children but handing out candy is just a chore to me. It means spending 2 or 3 hours (sometimes more) pretending I’m happy to see a lot of parents and children and teenagers coming to my door. I’m a introvert, not a great party host. The times I have handed out candy I really did it for the teenagers. I don’t like the way some people are ageist about Halloween. Let the teenagers trick-or-treat and don’t give them a hard time about it.

Anyway, the past three years I have left behind Halloween and done something else. I love the decorations and all the fun leading up to Halloween but on the night itself – I disappear!  Just think of it as a little Halloween magic.

Grab a Good Book – Think H.P. Lovecraft to keep in the Halloween theme

Of course, what you do while disappearing will depend on who you are. I prefer to take along a good book and hide out at the coffee shop. When it gets late enough I head along home. It is especially nice to take the bus (if the bus is available for you). Let someone else worry about driving on Halloween night with children running amok and jack-o-lanterns being smashed on the road.  It’s a good time to treat yourself to the public chauffeur.

Here are some other ideas:

  • Go to the movie theatre or a play
  • Visit someone else staying home
  • Go out for dinner, bonus if they have a Halloween special
  • Have a Halloween drink out somewhere
  • Find an adult party and dress up for Halloween
  • Run errands and pick up a few things at the mall
  • Stay overnight at a fancy hotel
  • Take your vacation time from work

There is always the Halloween staycation too. If you can keep the house looking dark from the outside and ignore the rustling at your door and around your yard (because you know there will be some who just have to try every house for candy, lights or not).

Some people would leave up a sign telling kids they aren’t doing Halloween. Some people would leave a bunch of candy for kids to pick up. Neither of these sound good to me. I think it’s smarter and simpler to just leave the lights off and pull any Halloween decorations inside the house where they won’t be seen or broken.

My Mother is an Extrovert

How do you deal with an extrovert when you are an introvert feeling drained of everything and yet still being given lists of more stuff to do as if you are a bottomless well unable to run dry?

I’m an introvert. The bus is one of my favourite things to do because you can be out of the house and lose yourself completely for an hour without having to do anything at all. No matter what the bus will go along and eventually take you back to where you started from.

Parkour for Fat Girls (Women Too)

Parkour is more than an exercise, it’s spiritual and about learning to live your life in a better way. I see parkour not as something just for the young, fit people but for the fat girls and women who need to move forward and help themselves reach their own goals.

The inspiration to write this came from myself entirely. You see, I really don’t like to exercise. Being a fat woman, I’d rather stop eating than get up and sweat and have people see me ‘working out’.

I hate being fat but it’s easier than making a real change and having people notice how fat I really am. When I go out, I just forget myself and do what I want to do. The actual physical weight isn’t so hard to forget – except when it comes to the odd time when I choose which chair to sit in or should I try running for the bus or just skip it and wait for the next one, even if it is a cold day and I’m carting groceries home.

Sure, I know nothing will change if I don’t change. So, I’m taking up parkour, for fat girls or women.

What is parkour you may want to ask but feel it might be one of those stupid questions. Actually, it isn’t a stupid quesiton at all. Parkour is mainly considered an extreme sport. In actual fact, there is more to parkour than extreme exercise.Parkour is actually about forward movement, in whatever way, shape, form or speed you choose. Parkour is about finding new ways to keep moving forward. Isn’t that kind of perfect for a fat girl?

I can move forward. I need to move forward. It’s just the actual act of moving forward that ruins my momentum. So, that is where I start my Parkour for Fat Girls. Getting started, at all.

First, I bought a floor mat sort of thing. This was so I could feel less like an elephant clumping around over the floor. The mat I picked is stuffed with memory foam. It’s intended purpose was a bath/ shower mat. I have repurposed it as my exercise mat for parkour.

The next thing I am doing (after I close the window blinds and pick my spot on the floor) is to look up exercises and foot work in general, which I can do walking in place, more or less.

For me moving forward is not going to be about moving around all over the house. I’m going to get moving, find my motivation and keep moving. The forward will come – it just won’t be physically walking one step at a time, more along the lines of mentally walking one step at a time from being the fat girl doing parkour to being the chubby girl who can run for the bus if she wants to.

My First Fancy Parkour Trick

My first idea for parkour, other than the walking in place which will get tiresome in more ways than one, is to walk back. Not to actually walk backwards, just to lift my legs behind me instead of in front. This will use muscles I seldom get around to in the ordinary run of the mill day. I think it’s a great plan.

Another idea came from watching Russian soldiers marching years ago. They march without bending the knee. It’s harder than bending your knee, give it a try and see for yourself.

I’m going to be watching for more walking, marching, pacing and other ideas I can use for my parkour. I’m starting out at an easy pace. As I get into the exercise and able to do more I will find new ways to move. I can bring in an obstacle – I’ve got a low step which I can walk over, walk around or step on and off of it. I’m not going to be jumping over it any time soon, but that will be in my future too if I stick with it.

In general, go at your own pace. If you are large sized you already know you have some limitations. So, not a big deal. Parkour, or any exercise will put extra strain on your body. That isn’t a reason not to work at parkour. You may see people flipping themselves around, jumping off things and so on. But, that isn’t how you get started. Start at your own, current level. In time you will be able to do more, last longer and have the strength and co-ordination to try fancier parkour moves.

Links for Parkour Girls

If you Close Your Eyes it Will all go Away

Most Definitely A Time For Change!!!.

I was molested in a movie theatre as a kid. At the time I was too ashamed and embarrassed – also intimidated to do anything but sit there through the whole movie and wait until I could get out and leave. Now I wish I had told someone. But, at the time I told no one until hours later when I got home on the bus and told my Mother.

I don’t know why our society puts offenders and murderers on a pedestal  Instead of doing something real and concrete about the people molesting, beating or killing we lock up ourselves and our children. We are all afraid of our children being attacked and yet… the molesters (known molesters and violent offenders) are sent right back out with a slap on the wrist.

I don’t understand why we don’t have capital punishment. When I ask about it here people were horrified at the idea of killing murders. Someone suggested they should have 3 chances before being punished. Well, I’m not volunteering to be beaten, molested or killed in order to give some offender a few more chances.

It’s all a sick joke and we are the dummies to live this way while allowing the offenders to rule our lives and make us live like cattle awaiting slaughter or rabbits afraid to poke our nose out of our holes. I don’t listen to the news any more. I don’t want to hear about the latest victim and I just get really angry when I hear about the offender who had already committed several crimes over the years but was set free to have another second chance, at our expense.

Pedalling their School Bus

Fast CoExist: Dutch Kids Pedal their own Bus to School:

The Dutch are bicycle fanatics. Almost half of daily travel in the Netherlands is by bicycle, while the country’s bike fleet comfortably outnumbers its 16 million people. Devotees of the national obsession have taken the next logical step by launching what is likely the first bicycle school bus.

Built by Tolkamp Metaalspecials, and sold by the De Cafe Racer company, the bicycle school bus (BCO in Dutch) is powered entirely by children and the one adult driver (although there is an electric motor for tough hills). Its simple design has eight sets of pedals for the kids (ages 4 to 12), a driver seat for the adult, and three bench seats for freeloaders. The top speed is about 10 miles per hour, and features a sound system and canvas awning to ward off rainy days.

What a great way to get the kids exercising and active first thing in the day. They can burn off some energy so they will be more likely to sit and listen in class too.

Saw an Ermine in Barrie

Ermine and Least Weasel.

While waiting for the bus this afternoon in Barrie, Ontario I noticed something white blowing across the road. Only it was alive and running across the road, when I took a second look. It was like a mouse but bigger and with a fluffier tail. Also, it was all white but for a black tip on it’s tail.

I’ve never seen one of these animals around here. I knew it was something I had heard of before but I couldn’t remember a name. I thought about it off and on during the rest of the day.

Now, at home again, I looked it up online. It’s an ermine.

A Conference of Dommes

Read more about Wank Wednesday and the smut written for the writing prompt “conference”.

Three of us arrived at the coffee shop. You would think we had planned it that way, so co-ordinated. Of course, it wasn’t planned at all. In spite of what the men like to think, Dommes have a life outside of fetishes. Anyway, that’s just my pet peeve. We did get there, right at the door, at the same time. I knew the others were Dommes right away by their tattoos, black leather and other fetish wear. They had no idea about me.

They walked in and picked a table by a window. I didn’t go over, instead I went to the counter and got my latte first. I considered something gooey and chocolate too but I am trying very hard to be good and resist sweets. My sister is getting married and I’d like to have a few less curves at the wedding. Don’t think I am too slender, one of those women forever working on her shape. I’m better than voluptuous already. I licked my lips, looking at the chocolates from a local bakery and ordered a toasted cream cheese bagel instead. I was going to miss lunch anyway.

Turning around with my latte and the tag that promised a bagel would be delivered soon, I assessed the room and sucked in a breath. I don’t fit in. That’s not a size thing, I just don’t look the way people picture a Dom woman should look. I look like me. It’s really enough just being me. I’ve taken about 40 years to get this far so I really don’t want to be someone else or get into some role play to suit anyone else. Life should be less complicated than that.

Both of the women were up at the counter now. The sub had arrived however, and was guarding the table and the three empty seats around him. He had a little of the shell shocked look, nervous and yet clingy looking and wanting to please too. Too much. Not going to be one I’d have fond memories of. Too needy was never a good thing in male submissives.

I picked my way over to the table, plonked my purse down on the floor to one side of a chair and set down my latte with the care a good coffee deserves. I set the bagel claim tag in the middle of the table, easily visible. I did not look at the sub or acknowledge him. I could feel him noticing me, nervous, wondering why I had chosen to sit there and how was he going to ask me to move, politely. Silly man. They really can’t see beyond the black leather they expect.

The other women came to the table, together again. They must know each other. But we had all met virtually, through the online D/s group. This conference was planned a week ago. It took that long to work out the time and day for everyone. We greeted each other by just meeting eyes across the table. It wasn’t an informal occasion and we were going to keep the subbie nervous and guessing intentionally. There were no introductions from the women but the sub knew the protocol and we were letting him sink or swim with it. So far he was sinking.

My cream cheese bagel was brought and I smiled and thanked the barista. Still the sub was silent, looking at each of us in turn but not following the program. It could be a really short conference at this rate. My latte was really good. The other women were quietly drinking their coffee as well. Both had gone the bagel route as well. Looks like I’m not the only one not giving in to chocolate temptations.

The male sub had nothing, he wasn’t allowed to order anything himself. He had to ask for anything he wanted during this conference. But, he was to introduce himself first. Then he was to get to the point of this conference by offering himself as a male sub for the Domme Tea Party being organized in the Spring, next year. We needed to be really picky about the men attending. They had to really know their place and yet not be the needy, begging, clingy types. It was a fine line.

I pulled my purse onto my lap and pulled out my little ladybug watch to check the time but mostly to give this sub half a clue. It was a quarter of an hour since I had walked in the door. If he didn’t start soon I could leave in about 20 minutes and still use my original transfer to catch the bus home. As nice as it would be to save a few bucks…

When I looked up the other two women were looking at the sub, less patiently. He must be feeling like a turkey trussed up for the oven if their heated glares were anything to go by. I’d laugh, but this was a formal meeting.

The sub jumped up from the table and ran into the washroom. Then I did laugh. The other women sort of laughed and rolled their eyes.

“Should we wait for him or just strike him off the subbie list now?” One of them asked. I’m pretty sure she was Jeannette, the one who liked black leather.

“I think we’re done here, as far as the conference goes. At least the coffee really is good. I’ll be back next time I’m in the area.” I said.

“How was the trip? Did the bus get there in good time?” Shondra was the other woman. She had gotten a ride today but was a regular bus taker too. So she appreciated the hour long bus ride.

“It was all good. I still have my trusty Walkman.”

We didn’t have much else to say then. Shondra didn’t want to keep her ride home waiting any longer than necessary so she left first. Jeannette finished her bagel and coffee. I think she was just curious to see if the subbie put in another appearance or tried to slink out unnoticed. But, he didn’t. She offered me a ride home, which was very nice of her. But, I was enjoying the latte and being a latte poke, I was quite happy to sit there by the window with a good book for awhile longer. So she left too.

I pulled out my book but people watching from the window kept me from reading much. It was so nice to be out, having the rest of the day to myself, unplanned and unpromised.

I think I did jump a bit, startled, when the sub came out of hiding and sat back down in his same seat next to me. “Hi.” He said. His breath smelled bad. Likely he had worked himself up and done more than just wash his hands in there. In the time between I had gotten out of formal mode and didn’t really want to deal with him. I guess I should have known I’d be stuck with him if I didn’t leave when the others did. Sometimes I am just really bad at picking up on the social things. I bet Jeannette thought I had intentionally stayed to talk to the subbie. I hadn’t.

“Hello.” I said back, the Canadian nice girl thing not letting me ignore him after a direct greeting. I didn’t offer a smile or any friendly encouragement. Maybe he’d just go away.

“I guess I really blew the whole thing.” He looked down at the table for a moment. But snapped up again with a sparkle of hope in his eyes. “Do you think they’d give me another chance?”

I would have given him a polite answer at that point. But, he leaned towards me, I could really smell his barf breath, then he put his hand on my thigh. Well, what would you do if that were you?

It isn’t my way to lose my own dignity in a public place, especially a place with such great coffee. I just stood up, packed up my purse with my book and the few bites left of my bagel wrapped up in a napkin. I pushed the lid onto my latte and walked out the door. No looking back. It was ruined by the fact that I had to wait for the bus, almost right outside the door. But, this one time in my life, the bus arrived right when I needed it to. No one got off and no one but me got on. So off I went.

Did he get the clue, you may wonder? No, he did not. Next day he was back posting to the Tea Party forum and asking for another conference. He even insisted he had gotten three bad Dommes who didn’t understand or give him a real chance. But, a month later he was nothing but gone. Usually those wanker types don’t have any endurance, in any way that matters.

Plastic Bags

A friend on Facebook posted a link to a site which wants people to boycott plastic bags. This is a US thing cause here in Canada it is already in effect.

Across Canada (as far as I know) almost every retailer makes you pay for plastic bags now. WalMart seems to be the only one holding out, giving bags free when you shop there.

It started with the grocery stores. It is the government’s way to get people using the cloth/ green bags instead. It’s also causing people to buy less. People don’t want to pay for bags so they buy what they can carry out in their hands, if they didn’t bring their own bags. I take the bus so I don’t have a car to store bags in. So I’m buying less and end up making more trips.

I expect it will also cause more shoplifting. People just bring their own bags and put stuff into them. Cashiers are not allowed to ask people to empty the bags they bring with them. I know this from my experience as a cashier in a department store.

I really think the plastic water bottle thing causes a lot more plastic waste which would be easier to fix by using green bottles.

There was talk of not using take out cups for coffee any longer. Everyone would have to bring their own. So someone like me would have to carry around a backpack instead of a purse so I could haul around my own bags, my own coffee cup.

The other issue they have been finding with bring your own bags (and would also be relevant to bring your own cups) is bacteria and pure grossness. People are not washing the bags. They use them for more than just groceries, store them in less than clean/ sterile ways. Cashiers have had to refuse to use some bags cause they could not stand the smell of them. At the coffee shops they shoot a spray of hot water into the cups but I doubt that really cleans them enough between coffees.

I’m waiting to see what we have to bring our own of next.

How’s Your Day Going?

I’m writing a post about building and maintaining your own web directory on my Word Grrls blog. I started my own web directory, which I had been wanting to do for ages. Took me quite awhile to find software that I could get to work myself. I am still not 100% with it but it is up there and I have begun adding my sites to it. 

I still haven’t met the guy from Toronto. But we still talk online about once a month. I think I am feeling discouraged about it but not quite giving up. I had considered going downtown to Toronto myself this month but after paying the bills I don’t really have enough left that I could afford the travel fare for the local bus (TTC) and the GO bus from here to Newmarket and then Toronto. It would be about $20 each way. Then more for a lunch, or at least a coffee or two. I’d be too poor for groceries the rest of this month. 
My nephew, Zack, and I went to see a movie last week. It was one Zack wanted to see and I had seen the commercial and thought it would be fun. It wasn’t what I had expected at all, very violent. Shocked me and I considered walking out and getting my ticket refunded so I could see something else. But, Zack had wanted to see it and knew it was going to be… what it was. At least I guess he did. He’s 14, an age when they want to see stuff like that. I’m 45, an age when I’d rather think better of the world and it’s peoples. 
I’m having a bleh day today. Lacking in ambition and I’m cold. I just turned the heat on in the house. I have it set at 20 C. I don’t know what most people keep their heat set at but 20 is what I got used to over the winter. It was down to 18 C. I wouldn’t think 2 degrees would really make such a difference in how it feels. 

There are Days When…

Getting back to this personal blog again. Which means I will need to fix it. I have a bunch of broken links from the last time I moved things on my web host. I should also give it a change from the Spring daisy look, considering how much snow there is outside today.

But, today I already have a fairly good work load and don’t feel like doing much other than hiding indoors taking care of myself. I’ve got one of those shingle things again. Making me feel all over yucky and my eye is sore. I really need to get out to deliver paperwork and buy milk at the grocery store. I wish it was a short trip to one spot for both. But no. That would be too nice.

I am trying to think how I can accomplish everything in one place anyway, cheating in a kind of, sort of, way. I could mail the paperwork though it would arrive late. I could skip getting a coffee while I am out (though I have not had a bite of anything all day and I am getting hungry even though I don’t feel like eating). I could just go to the grocery store which is right on the bus route. If I rush the shopping I can meet the bus as it comes back on the next lap of the route and then I don’t need to pay an extra bus fare to get home.

But, it’s cold outside and I’d have to rush into my coat and boots to catch the bus now. Well, really, I have about 15 minutes, give or take due to snow and ice on the roads. So, really I do have enough time to catch the bus. I should stop being such a lemming and get out there and do it. I’m not even standing up yet though.

There are days when having a personal slave sounds like a really good idea.