Originally posted to Sex Kitten (2003 – 2004)
Better an old man’s darling or a young man’s slave?
I can understand how age difference works for some couples. One partner is established, mature while the other likes having someone to depend on, mentor them. One partner feels buoyed up by the youth and enthusiasm of the other. There are various scenarios, as many as there are people.
I don’t think a big age difference is for me. I’d like to have more in common for one thing. Life experiences, stage of life, thoughts, ideas, habits, taste in music, all are important things. I don’t want a younger man who I’d feel I’d have to keep up with or an older man who I’d feel I couldn’t catch up to.
Although I’d like some aspects of being with an older man, having that security, maturity and understanding from someone who has been there. There is emotional and financial stability which I have not had in my life so far. Still, I’d rather have a balance – an even playing field where we both want the same things at the same time.
I don’t want to rely too heavily or get to the point where I depend on someone to be there. That makes me less than I can be and takes away from some of the strength and independence I have developed for myself. Also, it puts a heavy load on the other person and no matter what someone may say at the time, no one really wants to be responsible for the happiness of another. We do not want to micro-manage another human being. We do not want to be leaned on too much. So, no one should look for someone in their life just to have someone they can lean on. There should be a lot more to create a couple, a relationship that will build and become something both partners can get something out of .
As for the younger guys, I am the oldest of four kids. I don’t really see myself taking another younger ‘brother’ seriously as a partner in life. Yes, I can listen to their ideas, consider them as adults, but I can’t see them as my equal, not really. It’s not that I am looking down on them, it’s just their date of birth. When someone says they were born in the 80’s I remember what I was doing then. I had quit high school and was working full time, keeping up my share of the rent on an apartment. Meanwhile, someone was changing their diaper. How can you really see that as a person you would take into the bedroom and make mad passionate love to? It makes me feel like a cradle robber or some old perverted woman.
When I turn it around and wonder what a younger man would look for in an older woman I think most are looking for someone to give them a security and mothering base or feeling. I don’t want to be that woman for the man I love. I don’t want to be a second mother or a cash cow. I want him to be madly in lust with me and laugh at all my jokes and want to spend time with me, until death. An older guy is likely thinking he will have more sex. Yet, the men I’ve met (mostly older) haven’t wanted sex as often as I have myself. So, I don’t see it working out, either way. On one side I am a second mother and the other I am a sex toy. Neither is allowing me to be a woman or giving me that companionship I am looking for with another human being.
Mainly, its about the stage of life I’m at. I don’t want to skip ahead to retirement or backtrack to beginning to find my place in the world. I want some one to share life with – where I’m at now.