Ragged and Bloody

There just isn’t much else to say. I’m on the generic version of the aforementioned drugs today. Oh joy. It’s the Toronto BookCrossing meet up tomorrow. Last time I had to cancel due to babysitting. I really want to get out there tomorrow. I had the day all planned. Photos and everything. I should be ok. Just a lot squishier.

The brother wants me to come out to Newmarket for Monday. Maybe we will get out to Alliston and I can pick up the sewing machine I left there in the kitchen. There is a lot of other stuff still there but the brother says I can only bring the machine back here. I am going to see if I can find the fabric and pattern for the Raggedy Ann doll I started a couple of years ago. It would be nice to finish her. I had her face all embroidered and her body parts cut out. I don’t think I did anything more than that. I did have just the perfect fabric for her skin tone too.

I think I could make a nice Raggedy Ann for one of my sister’s daughters. But not sure I want to. They have so many toys and such now and don’t really care (or care for) any of it. Seems silly to make a handmade doll and have it get thrown on the heap, eventually buried under an avalanche of stuff.

Chopper: My Brother’s Dog


These are pictures I took this week of my brother’s dog. He’s a really old dog now, been around almost as long as I can remember. His name is Chopper. He had a twin but we aren’t sure if they are still together. My Mom made one for Graham and the other for me. I think they both ended up with Graham though. Which is fine since I had Raggedy Ann and other rag dolls later. Graham still has Chopper. I saw him at the house and made sure I got a picture.

Russian Dolls



Russian nesting dolls, traditionally called Matryoshka nesting dolls. I used to want a set of these for ever so long. Finally I bought one at the CNE several years ago. Now I still have it, packed away somewhere. Maybe it will turn up once I move and have a place of my own to unpack things to. That would be nice. Not that I have all the furniture/ storage to put everything. But, it’s the idea of it all.

I Need a Second Brain

Don’t you wish you had a second brain? One which thinks completely different, or at least different, from yourself. One that could always give you that second opinion. One that could tell you what someone else really means and what they will think of you and what you’ve said/ written.

It’s so unfair that women in the trendy movies always have a gay male friend to be a second brain, to interpret the dating male for them. I don’t even have an ex husband to talk to about these things. Not that an ex is a reliable source, but he does have a brain.

Last night I put up a personal ad on the Toronto Craigslist. I think it was a pretty good blab about me. I included the picture which is on my website. http://www.thatgrrl.ca/laura.htm

Large and Lovely North of the City

I like being upfront, it just makes things easier. I am BBW, 41, Sagittarius, divorced, no kids and I live in a small town somewhat between Barrie and Newmarket. I have a home business which is just starting out. I’m a freelance writer, getting into web design, still working on CSS. I have a lot of interests: digital art, web design, reading (sci fi, mysteries and non-fiction), road trips (ever drive to Kincardine and the beaches along there?), urban exploration, sewing and thrift store browsing. I am always learning something new and I enjoy being creative.

I would like to meet a guy around my age, single, with a lot of interests of his own. I don’t understand how some people list their interests as TV, reading and movies. Those are fine but is that all? Intelligence, sense of humour and an easy going nice guy – those are important qualities. I’m not especially concerned with how someone looks, if small children don’t run screaming… likely I won’t either. I’d rather find someone who I enjoy spending time with than someone I can enjoy looking at. Actually, I find one follows the other, if I enjoy the person I’m with they just become more appealing, more touchable and desirable.

I don’t have a huge amount of baggage but I’m not a witless blow up doll either. No one lives 40 years without a few glitches and issues. My ex husband was agoraphobic so I’d prefer a guy who doesn’t have quite that many issues. He’s doing much better in his life now but decided he didn’t want to stay married. That was a few years ago, it’s not like I’m still planning the best methods to dispose of his body.

A twisted sense of humour is a plus, satire preferred over sarcasm. I’m one of those nice girls and I don’t like hearing people belittle each other. An open mind is also a good thing. Pettiness really bugs me. I’m not perfect but I am pretty darn nice overall. In my family I’m still known as the “nice sister”.

Well, that’s enough blabbing. Happy 2006!

Laura

So far I had a few useless replies and one which really was interesting. So, for one it was worth it.

The funny thing is how many married men replied telling me how they’d like to have sex with me. Is half the male population brain dead? What does the word single mean to them? Not what it means to me I guess.

Boing!

Anyway, I would still like a second brain. I wrote a reply back to the interesting guy. But, I think I said too much. I do tend to type as I think and I can type pretty fast to keep up with my brain. Before I knew it I had written a short story, I think I surpassed the 1000 word mark. Likely the poor guy thinks I’m one of those women who never shut up. Which is funny cause Todd (the ex) said I didn’t talk enough.

So, here we are, still…

If blow up dolls had a brain, would they get up and leave or just wait till he was finished and then walk off with his wallet and ID so they could start a real life of their own?

Sometimes I think about these things.

The $100 Update

For those who thought I was headed for a life of lying on my back looking at my toes wiggling in the air… no, not quite.

For those who thought this was a one night stand. No, I think even for a one night stand there is some initial personal regard.

For those who thought it was a good way to pay off the credit card… Yes, it would have been. But, I’m a girl. The double standard is alive and well. I am not saying anyone is wrong, not even myself. But, it is different for a woman to take money for sexual acts.

Men would be congratulated, told what a great money making scheme that was and how the heck did they ever find a woman that desperate. Women would be treated differently. Women would be thought of as cheap, dirty and etc. It’s not fair, it’s not reasonable but it’s reality.

In the end, the real reason I did not arrange an hour of boob feeling up for bucks was because it’s not what I really want.

I miss sex, I miss a warm male body beside me but most of all I miss having someone I care about enough to want sex with. To share that closeness and passion and comfort. I honestly don’t think I will find someone again. I just don’t fit into any acceptable moulds of what men want. Yes, I have great tits and ass but they come with a body that isn’t thin or primped or shaved all over. I’m too human for men. Which is so weird to see typed out let alone to type it myself.

I was on some kid’s (kid being a guy under 30) where he wrote a very lengthy survey about “Are you the Perfect Woman”. I’m very imperfect when it comes to having the right look. Yet, that was all he was looking for. Ironic, he wants a Barbie, a woman made of plastic, hollow inside. That would be all he’d want. No need for a brain, no need for a real body or a heart, spirit or mind of any kind. What matters is the outside.

I could change and become the perfect woman, I have the tits and ass. If I worked on it I could lose enough weight to be a smaller size. I could wear make up, high heels and so on. The problem is that I’m not hollow inside. I will not change that.

So… bite me. I’ll be an old, lonely Aunt. But, I will be me.

Bite me. Those guys who want a hollow woman will likely be old lonely Uncles too. The supply of hollow women is limited to Barbie dolls and blow up sex dolls. Go to town boys.

Big Eyed Grrls

What is it about those drawings of big-eyed girls. Can you remember those old ’70s prints by Keane, Eden, Maio and Goji? The modern Bratz and PowerPuff Girls aren’t that different, they use the same basic theme. No wonder I catch myself pulling them off the store shelves for a better look. I’ve had some kind of kitschy fetish for those big-eyed girls since I was a kid.

These days you can find them in the odd garage sale, flea market and Goodwill. Ebay too, but then there’s shipping involved. Of course, you can find the new big-eyed types in your local department store, appearing on school supplies girl’s fashions near you.

If you have time to let the page load for a long time, you can see some of the original big-eyed girls from Margaret Keane. The Keane Eyes gallery shows a lot Margaret’s waifs. But, those aren’t the same big-eyed girls that were hanging in my girlhood bedroom. Mine were prints done by Eden, Maio and Goji, the girls were young women and often wore a harlequin outfit. Those are harder to find information about. There is a fan site for the big-eyed art. That’s how I found names for them at all. I couldn’t find more yet the artist’s are likely still around. The ’70s weren’t that long ago, right?