Sexy Unicorn

unicornThis unicorn must be male. It’s sexy in that good male kind of way.

How can any woman be satisfied with a sissy male submissive, really? I just find it hard to believe. I don’t mind feminization to some extent, if it’s my choice (as the Dom). I like ageplay too, on my terms of course. But, I still want to feel I’m with a man, not a needy child-man.

Where is the power in dominating a man who doesn’t seem to have any power?

There is the aspect of bad boys. Women do like a bad boy they say. I don’t really. I think a man can have all the elements and not be the type who goes overboard. A good boy can be powerful and sexy.

Note: I don’t have a link to the artist for this image. The site I found it on came up with 404 when I tried to get to the page from Google’s image search.

Real FemDom Ideas To Dominate Your Man With

The link below offers a fairly traditional list of FemDom fetishes and kinks. I read the list and then thought: I don’t actually want most of that. Or, if I do, it’s not really all that interesting after a short time. Not for me, individually, personally.

Women as Doms are pushed to perform for male submissives. Stop and think… What do you actually want?


Foot worship… slobber on your feet and foot wear. How attractive is that? Get him to pamper your feet in practical ways: manicures, leg waxing and massage. Change foot worship into foot service and reap the rewards!

Chastity… really means chastity for both of you. Would you prefer having him make love to you – the way you want him to? Yes, you can have him perform and give you an orgasm but is that really enough for you? Chastity works better as a tease than a reality. Long periods of time spent in chastity are usually just in stories, not fact.

Sissy play… Do you really like seeing him feminized? How does that make you feel about being a woman yourself? I don’t like sissy play. Not because I don’t like the torment of putting him into high heels, a frilly pair of panties, etc. But, I feel there is an aspect of sissy play which minimalizes women and being a woman.

Spanking… play, punishment, pleasure…? Do you enjoy giving a spanking? Do you like the exercise you get from it? By the end of the spanking do you have bruises too?

Bondage and teasing I do like. But, I make sure I’m doing both my way. I make sure I’m enjoying teasing him and I prefer mental bondage to the risk of tools and gadgets which are really physical objects to symbolize the actual control and power. Physical bondage works when I want to see him struggle and squirm and he likes being able to do so.

Roleplay… I do enjoy adding flavour with roleplay. But, how do you feel about it yourself? Does some of it feel silly, over done? Do you enjoy it or is it a performance and you’re glad when it’s over and you can be yourself again?

Learn how domination can boost your confidence and bring you closer to your man with these sexy femdom ideas that you can cater to your interests!

Source: 10 Femdom Ideas To Dominate Your Man With

Labels in BDSM: 30 Days of Dominance

Day 1 – Does your Dominance – either what you practice or what you strive for – have a label? Do you view your preferred Dominant style as Taken in Hand, Domestic Discipline, Top/bottom, Dominant/submissive, Master/slave, Owner/pet, or some other description or combination? If you do not use a label, why?

Labels can work as a general description. A label can communication to someone else much easier than trying to pin point and cover every nuance and detail of what you are doing and why you do it.

A label can confine, limit and set you up with a lot of standards and expectations – if you deal with people who care about belonging to a group or niche within that label. Trying to keep the group “pure” so they can have their club means they have to set rules to keep people out. Everyone can’t belong to the group/ niche. This is where labels become too important and strict.

I prefer a label as just a general description. I do understand the group mentality, but I like to adapt, evolve and generally have the space to do things as I choose. Group acceptance comes to those who confidently set the fashions. After all, every group needs leaders.

I like Domestic Discipline, owner/ pet and a merge of styles. I also like to come up with my own ideas. Someone might take the time to label and categorize them. That seems less important to me.

Whatever Happened to Fluffy Bunny Domination?

This afternoon I’ve been looking for Fluffy Bunny Domination/ Domina. Every link I find points to the fluffyart.com domain but… there is nothing there. Just a blank, white screen. I did find a private Twitter account, which may or may not be active. I did find an old DeviantArt account which had more of her art. But, Blogger and Tumblr accounts are wiped clean. There is a CafePress shop, but not much available there.

Maybe she got discouraged about marketing/ money, or life changed or she just lost interest… the world may never know.

Too bad because her fluffy humour is great and seldom found in FemDom art.

Just found:

Find me on Fetlife as GleefullyMacabre.

when I checked the fluffyart domain with the Wayback Machine. Not much there other than that note and the banner from 2012.

Enjoying A Chained Man

I don’t post enough stuff that shows dominant women, because I don’t see very much that seems authentic (in a narrow sense I just now made up where “authentic” means something like “she’s enjoying the situation on her own terms, rather than playing a role to cater to his fantasies”.)

Source: Enjoying A Chained Man – ErosBlog: The Sex Blog

I agree. There aren’t many authentic image of Dom women.

Even fewer which show emotion between the men and the women or – just a man in bondage for a woman but without her on the sidelines (as if watching a performance rather than really being a part of it).

Expecting the Male Submissive to Behave Like One

There is a difference between trying to make people do things and expecting people to do things.

What makes a woman a good Domme… expecting him to be submissive. Not forcing or pushing or making him behave, just expecting it.

He wants this. He wants to be dominated, put in his place and he expects you to do it.

You want the power of having him in his place. (At least that’s how it feels to me). But, the more energy you put into keeping him there with force, aggression or threats – the less in control you feel. It also wears you down. I don’t like men who complain about women nagging. But, I understand how it happens. Men don’t comply with what she wants. So she asks again. Maybe she pushes more the next time. It carries on from there. As long as she continues to ask for what she wants he will consider her to be nagging.

No woman wants to be seen as a nag.

So break the pattern. Stop asking him a second time. Stop demanding, stop trying to make him do things. Expect it. Ask or explain what you want, once. Just once. Afterwards, expect him to do it.

I’m not writing about not communicating and thinking he will have some psychic power to know what you want.

I do know that you can communicate without being pushy, without speaking a word. In the case of being a BDSM Domme you have the extra edge of punishment too. Don’t forget that element. He didn’t behave, he didn’t accomplish a task, etc. – punish him. You don’t need to put a lot of energy into it. Don’t explain and talk about it all as if he were a small child.

Just tell him he failed to perform as expected. That’s not acceptable. Now his punishment will be…

No screaming, yelling or fighting required. Remember, this BDSM submission is what he wants. Remind him of that, once, should he complain or forget his place.

Next time you want something done… Expect it to be done right and make the punishment something you could enjoy or benefit from if he fails to meet your expectations.

Don’t be petty or small minded and demand he serve his punishment with a smile. Instead, smile yourself, knowing you got what you wanted without screaming, nagging or feeling like a bitch.

Being a Domme isn’t about keeping in character. It’s about enjoying your submissive man. Don’t let him forget it!

BDSM Test

I don’t agree with the placement of Sadist or Ageplayer. But, no test is perfect.

== Results from http://bdsmtest.org/ ==
96% Dominant
91% Bondage giver
75% Master/Mistress
67% Owner
58% Switch
58% Primal (Hunter)
57% Degradation giver
56% Daddy/Mommy
56% Sadist
53% Brat tamer
50% Experimentalist
44% Pet
39% Brat
39% Vanilla
38% Bondage receiver
30% Primal (Prey)
28% girl/boy
26% Submissive
21% Masochist
19% Ageplayer
16% Voyeur
15% Exhibitionist
12% Non-monogamist
4% All-Rounder
2% Slave
0% Degradation receiver
See my results online at http://bdsmtest.org/result.php?id=463572

Source: Test 

What Would Women Like in Femdom Art?

I like FemDom art which is geared to the woman, her enjoyment and her feelings. Most FemDom art has a woman watching, on the sidelines or she is performing an act of abuse. In neither of these situations is it really about her and what she wants.

I don’t like the extreme stuff because it doesn’t seem real. Extremes seem geared to his fantasies, not hers. She isn’t really getting anything from what’s going on but it’s all set up for pleasing him. Like a little kid who wants his Mother to watch him play. It’s nice for the kid but kind of boring for the Mother (unless she brings a good book).

I like her to be dressed in ordinary clothes, not fetish costumes with ridiculous high heels she can hardly walk in. Corsets which force her to stand rather than be comfortable. Boots so high she can’t bend her legs. Skirts short enough to show her butt. If she is scantily dressed I don’t feel she is really in charge. It’s all a performance for him. I don’t identify with women dressed up like automations.

I like her to be with a man equal to herself in looks and proportions.  I prefer him to be muscular, strong looking and not sissy or down-trodden. I don’t mind if his expression is a little peeved or disgruntled. I don’t like the adoring look, the overly trusting or begging and needy. It looks sexier if I really feel this was all her idea and he really is at her mercy, being tormented and teased as she likes.

Having said that, I don’t the man to see the victim in the photo or the story. He should be there because he wants this. He may not want or like the torment he endures in the moment, but overall this is what he wants.  The “poor little me” style of photos really annoys me.

I do like where there is some sign of care, sensuality and sexiness (not sex but the feeling of intimacy). A connection between the Domme and sub, a relationship being maintained, versus performance art.

For me the best FemDom art has humour (irony and sarcasm), not too sadistic, but the Domme/ FemDom should be having fun at his expense. I especially like the men in peril theme.

When I find something with just a man in a cage (for instance), his head down, his smooth muscular back the focus of the photo… that’s sexy to me. I can imagine the feel of his skin as I reach my hand through the bars of his cage. That’s the man I want to let out of his cage, tease for awhile more and then make love to.

Almost all BDSM art is produced for a male audience. Heterosexual dominant men are happy to see a lone female in bondage. A male top can imagine that he put her there.

Submissive and masochistic straight guys want to see the female top. A mere male in bondage would bore them. (It wouldn’t me.) An artist works either for the paying customers (so few, I know) and himself.

Source: What Would Women Like in Femdom Art? – Femdom Artists

Kinky Sex Tips For Curious Girls

Source: 7 Kinky Sex Tips For Curious Vanilla Girls – The Frisky

  • Initiate a kink conversation
  • Start off slow
  • Do some erotic brainstorming
  • Tantalize your partner’s senses
  • Be creative
  • Use safe words
  • Have a post-kink debrief

Not the best list. To start with, initiating a conversation about sex (kinky sex) would be a big deal.  How many non-kinky women are going to jump right in that way? Not many.

Leave some hints, without being too subtle. But, only IF this is a guy you can really trust to try something kinky with. Women starting out as submissive need to educate themselves about kinks, fetishes and BDSM before letting him lead you blindly. A safe word is not enough. By the time things get to needing a safe word it’s already gone too far. Start slow is the best advice in this list. The second best is to have a talk afterwards. Even if you feel silly or shy, especially if you feel upset, talk about it within the hour. Talk about it again later when your feelings have sorted themselves out a bit. Talk again before you try anything else.

Be creative, in the way of taking things slow. Adapt the stuff you have seen in movies, magazines, online into something mild and saner. No matter how into it you think you are (or he says he is) take time to find out how you really feel when you are actually in the situation. It’s all a lot different when it’s real. Plus, you have to live with it, have memories of it.

For submissive women – don’t assume anyone claiming to be a dominant actually knows what they are doing. Don’t trust someone too easily. Submission is giving up control but not being a door mat and having no power or voice at all.

For dominant women – don’t be led into doing what he wants. Discover what you want and do things your own way. Domming can get very boring if you really aren’t interested in what you’re doing.

Keep each other safe along the way. Communicate with each other and find kinky communities locally and/ or online to get real advice from.