Another Day of Fresh Snow

It’s late. Silly to still be up this late. But here I am.

Working the evening shift is ok. But I can’t get to sleep when I get home. My brain perks up soon after I walk in the door. I tried to avoid coffee tonight. But now I’m just hungry and thirsty. There doesn’t seem to be a win-win situation, so far. I’m working on it. Buttermilk the other night would have been almost an ideal solution. But, so often, when I buy butter milk it is curdled even though it has plenty of time before it expires. It’s not drinkable when it all comes out in chunks. As great as it is when it’s fresh I just can’t make myself drink it when it’s curdled and lumped up.

So, I’m trying to come up with a new plan. Something that doesn’t keep me awake and yet helps so I’m not going to bed hungry and dying of thirst. Like tonight.

More snow today. Anyone want some?

I think I’m getting tired enough now. It’s a minute to 4:am so that’s a good thing. I could be up in two more hours and catch the first Barrie transit bus into town, get breakfast at McDonald’s, fall asleep at the table, get mistaken for a street person and tossed out. Then I’d have to wander the downtown streets of Barrie looking for a place to nap until 3:00 when I get to start work.

I think I’ll skip that plan and just sleep till 10:00.

Nightie night.

Fully Using a Day Off for Nothing

I’m having a day off. Wasting time most of the day, doing nothing. Read a bit, in bed, this morning. Made something for breakfast when I got hungry. Turned on the TV and the Internet and haven’t really done much other than make and drink coffee. I think I’m working my way up to having a shower. No hurry. No sense rushing into these things.

Indie Bloggers #17: Married Life

Indie Blogger Weekly Challenge: 17 words regarding:

On your honeymoon cruise, your ship is captured by Suranamese channel pirates and everyone is held for ransom. You get ‘unruly’ and are made to walk the plank. Just before you step off into the drink, as your tearful spouse and the rest of the crew watch, you confess:

“Size really does matter!” I jump off, walk ashore and wonder why I married such a dumbass.

Sixty-Two Question Meme

Sixty-Two Question Meme from Toronto Broad’s blog.

1. How old do you wish you were? – 32 was a good age but I don’t really like the idea of going or looking back.

2. Where were you when 9/11 happened? – Back at my parent’s home in Ontario. Just before I moved to the US.

3. What do you do when vending machines steal your money? – I stopped using them cause it really, really bugs me to lose to a machine.

4. Do you consider yourself kind? – Kind of what?

5. If you had to get a tattoo, where and what would it be? – A dragon (maybe red or green) and in some unlikely yet not highly visible spot. I like the idea of it being something to be found rather than something obvious.

6. If you could be fluent in any other language, what would it be? – Japanese would be interesting. Maybe Russian cause it sounds strong and yet exotic.

7. Do you know your neighbors? – I move too often. Currently my neighbours have not yet moved in. Kind of ironic.

8. What do you consider a vacation? – A real vacation is a full tank of gas, a road map and at least a month to go somewhere or other…

9. Do you follow your horoscope? – Why not? It’s more interesting as a personality thing than a day to day thing though. I prefer the Chinese zodiac.

10. Would you move for the person you loved? -I did that once and would be really unlikely to do it again.

11. Are you touchy feely? – I’m a bit picky about that. I can just about purr under the right conditions and sensual touching. But at other times I will avoid being touched by people. The odd friendly touch is ok, from someone I like.

12. Do you believe that opposites attract? – I’ve seen couples like that. I don’t think it works very often but it does happen.

13. Dream job? – Independent web geek, writer and small publisher.

14. Favorite channels? – I only get two at the moment. But I’d say anyway. I like Canadian content.

15. Favorite place to go on a weekend? – The bookstore, the thrift store and the coffee shop.

16. Showers or Bath? – Showers.

17. Do you paint your nails? – No.

18. Do you trust people easily? – Yes, but I try not to be gullible about it.

19. What are your phobias? – Being cut with sharp things, myself or anyone/ thing else. Not really a phobia just makes me shudder.

20. Do you want kids? – Yes.

21. Do you keep a handwritten journal? – Not as much as I used to.

22. Where would you rather be right now? – Snuggled up with my second husband (I haven’t met him yet).

23. What makes you feel warm and safe? A hot shower. Clean too!

24. Heavy or light sleep? Heavy, I used to live in a very loud and noisy building.

25. Are you paranoid? No… are you? Should I be? lol Get over it.

26. Are you impatient? – At odd moments. Sometimes I have endless patience and sometimes none at all.

27. Who can you relate to? – My sisters, Mother, Grandmother…. and all the rest.

28. How do you feel about interracial couples? – It’s probably not for me. More because of culture than colour though.

29. Have you been burned by love? – Not really, I don’t think I was ever in love, just like.

30. What’s your life motto? – Type faster.

31. What’s your main ringtone on your mobile? – Don’t have one, don’t like IM’s and things that expect me to jump when they ring.

32. What were you doing at midnight last night? – Reading in bed.

33. Who was your last text message from? – Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy. They’re forming a band.

34. Whose bed did you sleep in last night? – My parent’s bed which has become the guest bed since my Dad died.

35. What color shirt are you wearing? I’m not wearing a shirt…. just a dark red nightie and a fluffy pink robe and neon green socks to match.

36. Most recent movie you watched? – Georgia Rule which really really really disappointed me. There was no sign it was going to be about sexual abuse. I wouldn’t have gone if I had known that. I was very much looking forward to seeing a chick flick about three generations of women with those three ladies. I know it’s an important issue but I wanted drama not trauma.

37. Name five things you have on you at all times? – Skin, hair, cooties, fingernails and toenails. I don’t usually take my purse and a book into the shower with me.

38. What color are your bed sheets? – I’ve got the really dark red ones on at the moment.

39. How much cash do you have on you right now? – Zero. My purse is in the secret hidden safe.

40. What is your favorite part of chicken? – The wish bone.

41. What’s your favorite town/city? – Whatever one I’m in.

42. I can’t wait till… – My period is finished. (I’m easy to please).

43. Who got you to join MySpace? – I don’t remember. I joined but don’t use it.

44. What did you have for dinner last night? – An indoor picnic. Then a bonfire outside for Victoria Day weekend.

45. How tall are you barefoot? – 5′ 4″

46. Have you ever smoked crack? – No.

47. Do you own a gun? – A water pistol.

48. What do you prefer to drink in the morning? – A vanilla latte delivered to my desk by my male slave right after I get out of the shower.

49. What is your secret weapon to lure in the opposite sex? – Whatever it is, it doesn’t seem to be working.

50. Do you have A.D.D.? – Get real.

51. What time did you wake up today? – Quarter to seven.

52. Current worry? – I have to move again. Maybe by the end of this month.

53. Current hate? – I don’t dislike anything or anyone enough to put all that energy into hating them. I’d rather use my energy for other things.

54. Favorite place to be? – In my own home, for the short duration I have it.

55. Where would you like to travel? – Russia, South America, Africa, Europe all over the place.

56. Where do you think you’ll be in 10 yrs? – A flea market.

57. Last thing you ate? – Frozen fruit, thawed in the microwave.

58. What songs do you sing in the shower? – Whatever was last on the radio that stuck in my mind.

59. Last person that made you laugh? – My Mom.

60. Worst injury you’ve ever had? – Nothing major. No broken bones.

61. Does someone have a crush on you? – Of course.

62. What is your favorite candy? – Ice cream and cheesecake. Most candy is too gross, oil by-products rather than real chocolate.

Smoke gets in your Clothes

The people upstairs smoke. They smoke every day, some days they invite other people over to smoke, drink, pound on the floor over my head and drag furniture and other heavy things around, over my head too. I don’t like the people living over my head, they stink in other words.

Even now when I have been away a few days I can still smell the smoke on my clothes. It’s gross. If you smoke cut it out.

I think the insurance money is here but I’m not sure. Graham, like our Father before him, expects information to be absorbed through osmosis or telepathically or something else mysterious and less than scientific. I’m hoping it is here. That’s really all I know for sure.

No silly looking stick figure grrl with this post, you’re spared today cause my scanner is back at the smokey Beaches apartment.

So aggravating to be sleeping on an old and lumpy couch here when I know I have that perfect wonder bed at home, just waiting for me to crawl up into it. I’m leaving on Wednesday now. Graham offered to drive me down then as he is going into Toronto for something.

Looking for a Virgin…?

Found on Craigslist:

Are you shy / inexperienced / have low self-esteem? – 27

Looking for a girl that is shy, inexperienced, and has low self-esteem.
I will help you build your confidence, and get experience, one step at a time.
We’ll take it step-by-step, at the pace that makes YOU feel comfortable.

At first, we’ll just work on making you feel comfortable around a guy (me), and in public. Then once you are ready, we’ll move onto building sexual experience. I’ll let you explore my body, I’ll let you ask me questions, and I’ll let you play with me. At first you can stay dressed, and you can see me naked. Then once you’ll be fine with it, I’ll undress you slowly, so that you will get comfortable with the idea of a guy undressing you. You will probably shake and tremble at first, but then you’ll slowly get to love the feeling! I’ll kiss your body all over, so that your tensions will ease, and you will start feeling warm and aroused inside. And we will go as far as you are prepared to go!

I’ll show you how valuable you really are!
In the end you will be totally confident about yourself, and will have gained enough experience so that you will not be afraid of guys, and what people will think or say about you!

I am looking for one girl only, so please do describe yourself in your response, so that I could pick the one who will benefit the most!!!

If you include a picture, that’s even better. However, since you are shy, and you have low self-esteem, you will probably not be comfortable with including your picture.

About me: I’m 27, white, handsome, athletic, understanding, passionate, educated, funny, independent, and intelligent. I’m clean, I maintain a good hygene, I don’t drink, I don’t smoke, and I don’t do drugs.

You will NOT be disappointed! Making you feel comfortable, and helping you learn appreciate yourself is my goal!

Likely not a good idea to reply to this ad. I lost my virginity with a guy I new a long time and later married. I know that sounds old fashioned, maybe too old fashioned and spinsterly. But, it was a special event in my life, and it is still one of my best memories from the time I had with my exhusband. A girl shouldn’t give that away to someone who just wants to hunt cherries. What happens to her once he has popped it? Maybe he just cut and pastes the same ad back on Craigslist and waits for a fish to bite.

A Boy Joke

Found this at Mom is Nutz

A woman and her boyfriend are out having a few drinks.

While they’re sitting there having a good time together

she starts talking about this really great new drink.

The more she talks about it, the more excited she gets,

and starts trying to talk her boyfriend into having one.

After a while he gives in and lets her order the drink for him.

The bartender brings the drink and puts the following on the bar

— A saltshaker, a shot of Baileys, and a shot of lime juice.

The boyfriend looks at the items quizzically and the woman explains.

“First you put a bit of the salt on your tongue,

next you drink the shot of Baileys and hold it in your mouth,

and finally you drink the lime juice.”

So, the boyfriend, trying to go along and please her, goes for it.

He puts the salt on his tongue — salty but OK.

He drinks the shot of Baileys – smooth, rich, cool, very pleasant.

He thinks – this is OK. Finally he picks up the lime juice and drinks it……

In one second the sharp lime taste hits…

….. At two seconds the Baileys curdles …..

……At three seconds the salty curdled bitter taste hits.

This triggers his gag reflex but being manly, and not wanting

to disappoint his girlfriend, he swallows the now nasty drink.

When he finally chokes it down he turns to his girlfriend, and says,

“Jesus, what do you call that drink?” She smiles widely at him and says,

“Blow Job Revenge”

How to Amuse Yourself While Coughing Up a Lung

Of course, men will come up with things like seeing how far your mucus will fly. I’ll just skip over that one with a dishonorable mention.

Think about things you could be doing if only you weren’t so busy coughing.

Try writing your name and see if you can read it once you stop coughing.

Cough on a bug. I like to spread germs to them, just let them think they will out survive us. If everyone made some effort the human race will outlast the bug race.

Phone your sister, the one that likes to talk too much. It will be one of the few times you’ll be able to hang up on her, or she will even suggest you do so.

Phone your boyfriend/ husband/ significant other and have a discussion about the kind of flowers and such you most like. Don’t say right out that he is expected to bring them to you. But, if he doesn’t… cough on his coffee.

Since you shouldn’t be going out and spreading your diseased self among the sales clerks and other innocent bystanders play games on the Internet. Look up really fun things you would buy if you had a bottomless bank balance. Or, find a site where you can design your own house. That’s fun too.

Play games such as city building games where you are the World Ruler and She Who Must Be Obeyed. If those peons begin to win just shut the game down and have the final victory over them all. That always cheers me up.

Call your Mother, unless she lives nearby and is likely to come over. It’s nice to have some sympathy in your sickness but you’re too old to be mothered, right?

Eat really salty and sour foods. Drink some vinegar (white is nice) if you have nothing else around. I like salty taco chips and lemonade. I can feel the germs being tortured in my throat. I like that.

Since you will be spending extra time in the bathroom due to drinking all that lemonade, gingerale and so on, bring in a good book and take your time. Just like the guys do. Only we don’t stink up the place.

Plan your next vacation. Why not?

Discover new and unusual art forms. Even if you can’t do much about them until after you get well soon.

Hometown Computer Withdrawl

I miss my computer. It’s upstairs, ripped out from it’s umbiblical connection to the electric power of the great wall of… whatever great wall we have here in Canada, near me.

I keep thinking of things I would do if I was on my own computer. But, I’m not.

I’ve begun to have dreams about my computer. I think it’s sending me psychic vibes to rescue it from the dark hallway of powerlessness and quiet silence. It wants to beep again!

Poor thing.

Did you know that Skye gave the bird…
a new nest? She’s very brave. If you saw the picture of those baby birds you know they were truly ugly. About as far from cute and cuddly as you can get without running out of runway. You could say, Skye is for the birds. If you were so inclined.

Any Flimsy Excuse to Squish a Bug on your Monitor

You know you’re evil when something like “kitten in a sandwich” makes you laugh. Just so you know, I’m evil.

Today, now that I finally began moving things downtown to the apartment, I found a really interesting job here in town. I’m going to apply, to see what happens. Sort of a ‘why not?’ Why not? It’s a community news reporter, freelane for the local newspaper. Too bad I don’t still have the car, that’s one of the job requirements.

I am tired tonight. Tomorrow Gloria is picking me up at 9:30 and we are going out to Barrie to poke around the second hand shops. I’m getting pretty low on dough though, capitalist paper dough. The other kind I can manufacture myself, by the dozens even.

Are you watching Canadian Idol? I liked a redhead girl from London, Ontario but I don’t think she made it into the last batch of kids. I’m not sure cause it got pretty confusing at the end. I’m not even sure if I had her name right, Jen I think.

I like blogging at night. The TV is on behind me. Some foreign movie that I can’t understand but it’s making enough noise to remind me I’m not alone in the world. There may even be subtitles if I was turned around to read them. I’m not though. Too tired/ lazy/uninterested. The only problem are the dratted little flies and other buggie things. They love the light of my monitor. It sucks them in and then I slap them down. Not very nice of me, I know. But, the creatures keep drowning in my coffee mug and really… that’s just downright nasty of them. I have to choose between not drinking my coffee, plucking out their little black carcasses or just drinking them. I admit sometimes I just drink them. Protein and completely free and available. Suddenly I’m reminded of dating.