Although Michael and Andrea deMeng started the Art Abandonment movement in June of 2012, publicly leaving art for others is not a new concept. Several decades ago there was a movement called “Guerilla Art, ” which inspired the deMengs’ art abandonment movement.
History of “Guerrilla” Art
Guerrilla art–or street art–originated in the 1980s.
It consisted of graffiti, street sculpture, murals, wall mosaics, and various other forms of artistic expression. Artists would create the art pieces and leave them in public spaces for others to enjoy.
The reasons for street art varied. Often the artists wanted to make a political statement. Sometimes they wanted to get their work out into the world, and bypass the constraints subjected to them by the rules of the formal art world. At other times, they wanted “ordinary” people to have access to art that they normally would never have the chance to encounter. Finally, sometimes they did it just for the fun of it!
Want to Participate in the Art Abandonment Movement?
If you are interested in becoming part of this movement, you will find that there are just a few rules to follow. To join in, Michael deMeng makes these simple suggestions. All you have to do is the following:
- Make a small piece of art.
- Put a tag on it stating that you are leaving the art as a free gift to whoever finds it. Make sure to include your desired contact information.
- Discreetly leave the art in a public space.
- Take a picture of the space you are leaving it in.
- Hope that the person who finds the gift responds either by email or replies on the Art Abandonment Facebook page.
I really like these but I can’t spend that much on new slippers. Plus the shipping. It helps knowing they are wool. I can blame it on the itchy feet I’d have if I wore wool. Still, they really are nice.
Gift for women – Women wool slippers – olive green felted slippers with roses – made to order – Mothers day gift These slippers I make from very soft
Bring your tea set along for a Domme Tea Party. I like the case it comes with, extra style and a little vintage looking.
This fun, toy-sized ceramic tea set is a quirky testament to kinky tea, and makes a great gift!
The BDSM experience is different for men and women, in several ways. Women are more careful about meeting men. Women may be looking for romance and affection, a relationship while men really just want sex. Women tend to get pushed into things they really don’t want to do, in order to keep the peace.
I often read people (men) claiming women into Domming are rare. In my experience this is not true. I encounter many women who would enjoy Domming men, if they could find one who meets their needs.
Being a male submissive may not be what you think it is at all
There are very few men who understand what a Dom woman is looking for, what she actually wants. She does not want to be the Dom you see in pornography. If you are looking for a woman to fulfill all your porno fantasies of what male submission should be… pay for it. Professional sex workers will dress the part and read from whatever script you want, do it your way (as long as safety is considered) and give you what you want as you expect to have it.
Real women who Dom, just because they want to, will want to do things their own way. Real women Doms have their own fantasies, their own desires and plans for play, teasing, romance, seduction, torment and all their own fetishes and kinks. They will want you to please them and that may not include any of the fetishes and kinks you have been fantasizing about.
A real woman may not want a man slobbering on her shoes or expecting to wear her underwear, for instance. Some women may like the idea of training men to submit while others think they should already be house broken.
Worship and begging may not appeal to her. For myself, both of these are a turn off. The real appeal of having a male submissive is that he be a man, strong, clever, manly and yet my submissive. Retain your dignity and be a male submissive worth having and keeping.
Before you Begin…
Decide if you actually want the reality.
Do you want a woman telling you what to do? Are you willing to be disappointed when she isn’t interested in doing what you want, the way you want it? Will you let her lead or will you try to pressure her into giving you what you want instead?
Do not manipulate your Dom. Yes, it is fun to have the erotic play of teasing, denial, struggling and so on… but it should be sincerely part of the fun and not “topping from the bottom”. Two people sincerely invested in D/s can have a lot of fun, pleasure and explorations. If you top from the bottom (manipulate your Dom) you cheat yourself from ever having the real experience of submitting, serving and discovering the pleasure of being a male submissive in reality.
Also, no Dom woman likes to be manipulated. We get this from almost every so-called male sub on dating sites and etc. It is very discouraging. If you wonder why there are so few women into Domming – this would be the number one reason.
If you can’t let go of your expectations then consider paying for what you want and getting it from a McDomme (paid to do it your way).
What are you really willing to do?
Too many men have a list of fetish and kink ideas but no thoughts about the reality. This is especially a bad idea when it comes to health and safety. There are several things which will sound good on paper or turn you on when you watch a video… but reality is not like that. Reality is messier, reality is less planned and professional, less perfect and reality has accidents and misunderstandings.
Never say you are willing to do anything/ everything. Because you aren’t. No one is – unless it’s make believe and pretend.
Read about the reality of your fetishes and kinks. Instead of watching the porn find someone who really has done it and read about their experience. What went wrong, what didn’t work and how did they learn to do it better or another way. Research the reality. Even if you have no experience you can read the experience of others (just not the porn version).
Consider safety and be practical about it
If you have issues such as allergies, a phobia, dislikes put together a list of these issues. Personally, I don’t like having something close around my neck or mouth because I grew up with asthma. I’m also allergic to animals which limits the places and people I can spend time with to some extent. These are things to be aware of, for yourself and the woman Dom you would like to meet.
Although safety and health are more up to the Dom in a D/s relationship you can’t expect her to know your needs, read your mind or use telepathy to know there is a problem.
Safe words are not that reliable. If there is a real problem, something sudden, you need communication which won’t be forgotten in the moment or confused with something else. A direct safe word, like stop, is better than trying for some secret code you may not remember when you need it. If you use the safe word for effect rather than actually needing it the play stops anyway. Respect the safe word – it’s not a game.
Communicate and talk about anything you plan to do. Start simple and leave yourself room to back out or change the plan. you may think you want to start with the hard stuff but discover your feelings were far more involved when it was actually happening. It is possible to discover you have a phobia or intense dislike you didn’t know you had until you tried something. This can be especially true with bondage. Actually being confined is not just as you imagine it to be. Explore and experiment with baby steps and savour the experiences as you go.
Submission is not a gift
Years ago the idea that submission is a gift started in the online BDSM groups. This is not the right attitude. Domination is just as much a gift, if you want to consider either of them a gift at all.
You have chosen to submit and your Dom has chosen to lead you, to control you and to own you (up to a point). She is not likely to want to micro-manage you. Being the Dom is a responsibility. It’s not easy and it is not something to take lightly. People can get hurt physically, mentally and emotionally. Both of you need to communicate to prevent problems. The gift is the relationship itself, when you can find it.
Explore and discover
- Try blindfolding yourself in your own bed. How does it feel? Does the blindfold itch? Do you feel peaceful?
- Sit on your hands next time you’re alone watching TV. How long can you keep yourself in this self-bondage? How uncomfortable is it?
- Sit under a table, let it become your cage. Does the confinement bother you? Do you feel snugly caged or just trapped?
- Try being naked when you are home alone. With the blinds or curtains closed stand naked in front of the window. Even knowing no one can see you do you get a thrill or can you not even do it at all?
- Buy a dog collar for yourself. No one has to know you don’t have a dog (or your dog won’t be wearing this one). Wear the collar but wrap it around your wrist the first day (not your neck).
- Even before you have a Dom you can practice serving her tea. Dress up (she doesn’t want pubic hair in her tea cup), make a plate up with pretty treats and serve tea in a teapot with a fancy teacup and saucer for her.
The reality is much different from the fantasy. Reality isn’t the porn version because it’s not scripted and the people are not actors. However, you can actually be one of the people involved rather than watching and wishing from the sidelines. Just make sure you want the reality, imperfect but not impersonal.
Inspired by the traditional Russian matryoshka nesting dolls, this charming set is designed by Suzy Ultman and handpainted with detailed, folkloric patterns. Each matryoshka is hollow inside and opens in two, so you can hide a tiny treat or gift inside.
Even on sale after Christmas they are still expensive enough. But, I like the style and colours.
You’ve gotten through her screening process and she has set a time and place for you to meet her, face to face. Now what? How do you make a good first impression on a real Domme when you meet for the first time? I don’t mean the type of Dominant woman you pay, the one who asks you what you want and tells you how much it will cost. No, I mean the Domme who is a real woman and wants more than a temporary job when she arranges to meet you.
You are most likely meeting in a public place. If you wear any fetish wear be very discreet and don’t wave it around in public. Something small which you leave her to notice is much more effective than a blatant display.
Dress up too. Look your best and pay attention to grooming. Trim facial hair, clean your fingernails, etc.
Show up and be on time or a bit early:
Don’t be late! Too many times men do not show up or arrive late. If you are not ready to meet her (or only want to play pretend online) don’t make the appointment in the first place. Be honest.
Bring a little gift:
Nothing elaborate, you aren’t paying for her favours. Keep it simple but this is a chance for you to show some cleverness, creativity, style and prove that you actually did pay attention to what she has told you about herself so far.
Offer to buy the first coffee/ wine:
She may turn down the offer, but that doesn’t excuse you from offering. Be a gentleman and remember your old fashioned manners.
Make small talk:
Until she introduces the subject of BDSM or D/s you keep the conversation light. Consider this your first test, because it likely is one of the things she is watching for.
When the subject of BDSM or sex comes up don’t rush in:
Don’t bring your grocery list of fetishes and kinky ideas to the table. Of course you want to know if she shares your interests, however chances are your list is more fantasy than fact. Talk to her about actual experience you have had versus stuff you want to try, think would be a big turn on, etc. Stick to the facts. If she asks what you want to try and have not done yet, keep it modest. Don’t make yourself sound like a window shopper – keep it realistic.
Watch your personal space:
Do not invade her personal space. Keep your arms, hands, coffee mugs, wine glass and etc to your own side of the table. Body language counts!
Bring a business card if you have one:
Unless you are paying her (which this post is not about) you should be prepared to give her information about yourself. Proof that you are available, that she can contact you, that you trust her (and thus she can trust you too). If you do not have a business card make sure she has your correct phone number, email address or any other way of contacting you and then ask her to contact you.
To hug or not to hug:
At the end of your time, if all has gone well, you might want some physical contact. Let her lead, however you can offer your hand or ask permission to give her a hug, etc.
Do not ask for sex! Asking for sex just proves you don’t really have half a clue about male submission. If you want to serve her, your needs do not come first. Sex may not even be part of what she wants.
After the first meeting send her a thank you note:
Thank her for meeting you, tell her you had a good time, enjoyed getting to know her, and so on. Don’t ask for a second meeting – but you can tell her you hope to see her again soon. You can suggest a great place or local event for a second meeting, but leave it up to her to choose.
The linen tea chest gift comes filled with our choice of 8 flavors of the wrapped sachets, 4 sachets each.
Curated from Harney.com
One of the things my nephew, Zack, has especially liked was a tea chest. I forget who gave it to him now. It ended up being something his family used and I think he left it at home when he moved away for university. I wondered if he would like one which he really can keep for himself now. I found this on my first try of looking for a tea chest.
This was in my email today, forwarded from my Mom:
Magic Bank Account
Something to think about …
Imagine that you had won the following *PRIZE* in a contest:
Each morning your bank would deposit $86,400 in your private account for your use. However, this prize has rules :
The set of rules:
1. Everything that you didn’t spend during each day would be taken away from you.
2. You may not simply transfer money into some other account.
3. You may only spend it.
4. Each morning upon awakening, the bank opens your account with another $86,400 for that day.
5. The bank can end the game without warning; at any time it can say,“Game Over!” It can close the account and you will not receive a new one.
What would you personally do?
You would buy anything and everything you wanted right?
Not only for yourself, but for all the people you love and care for. Even for people you don’t know, because you couldn’t possibly spend it all on yourself, right?
You would try to spend every penny, and use it all, because you knew it would be replenished in the morning, right?
ACTUALLY, This GAME is REAL ….
Shocked ??? YES!
Each of us is already a winner of this *PRIZE*. We just can’t seem to see it.
This PRIZE is *TIME*
1. Each morning we awaken to receive 86,400 seconds as a gift of life.
2. And when we go to sleep at night, any remaining time is NOT credited to us.
3. What we haven’t used up that day is forever lost.
4. Yesterday is forever gone.
5. Each morning the account is refilled, but the bank can dissolve your account at any time WITHOUT WARNING …
SO, what will YOU do with your 86,400 seconds?
Those seconds are worth so much more than the same amount in dollars. Think about that, and always think of this: Enjoy every second of your life, because time races by so much quicker than you think.
So take care of yourself, be happy, love deeply and enjoy life!
Here’s wishing you a wonderful and beautiful day.
Start spending …
Why Should you Regift?
There are good reasons to be a regifter.
First, if you know you won’t use it, can’t wear it, don’t have room for it, then don’t stick it on a shelf, at the back of a closet or somewhere else it will be forgotten and just take up space. Pick someone who will really want it, can use it. This way you don’t have clutter and someone else gets a gift they can use.
Second, it saves you money and time. Instead of buying more gifts or spending time making gifts (which can end up costing more than buying a gift) you can regift something you already have.
Third, it saves all those gifts from being added to the landfill. Not many gifts are made from 100% recyclable materials and most could be used by someone if you take the time to figure out just the right person.
The Five Golden Rules for Good Regifters
The item must be kept in brand new condition. You can’t have unpacked it to try it or use a little. If there is a guarantee or instructions they should be with the item. If you did open the packaging to take care in closing it up again. Dust it off, don’t regift an item that looks like it sat on a shelf for a year, or longer. If a book has an inscription you can’t regift it.
Wrap the item all over again with fresh paper, bows and whatever accessories and extras you usually use. Also, don’t mess up and leave the old gift card on or inside the gift. Some of the simplest things are the easiest to overlook.
Don’t regift the item to the same people who gave it to you. This is a reason for not hanging on to a gift for very long. You may forget who it came from. Also, you don’t want to send it to anyone the original sender knows, especially if it is easily identifiable, unique.
Never regift a handmade/ homemade gift. If it really is something you can’t use (wrong size, for example) find a gentle way to let the gifter know. Make sure they understand you value their work, their thoughtfulness and the time, energy and resources that went into the gift.
The gift should be desired and suit the person you are giving it to. If something really is unwanted by yourself or anyone else you can think of take it to the thrift store, or try selling it online. What you give to others is a reflection on yourself. Don’t regift something you know will be unwanted, just to get rid of it or save a buck. Consider age, gender, style, size, etc. when choosing who will get your regift.
In honor of holiday office parties and the “unique” gifts exchanged at them, the creators of Regiftable.com have declared the third Thursday in December as National Regifting Day.
This date is particularly appropriate since, according to our unscientific research, the third Thursday of December it is the most common day for a holiday office party. And, according to our very scientific research, 4 in 10 regifters (41%) target coworkers as the recipients of their regifts.
We’d like to suggest that you bring regifting out of the supply closet and turn your gift exchange into a regifting party. In case you are hesitant to break tradition, you can rest assured that the majority (60%) of people think that regifting is becoming more accepted; the top two reasons are to save some green.
25% believe that regifting is becoming more accepted because it is a way to save on holiday expenses.
14% believe that regifting is becoming more accepted because it is a method of recycling.
Q: What’s slightly used and green all over?
A: A regift, of course!
It’s also my birthday.