Kinky Bug Sex

Why do we like sex with giant/ alien insect creatures? It’s a fetish which usually involves being forced too. Is that part of it? Being desired sexually by someone (or thing) and having our better judgment suspended? So much of kinkiness is about what is and is not taboo for our culture. Something which breaks our acceptable standards must be labeled kinky, or a fetish, because it’s abnormal even wrong.

We do need standards for behaviour in our culture. We need laws and codes of conduct and protocol to guide us and avoid chaos. But, in our imaginations we can be as weird and unacceptable as we choose. The problem arises when imagination becomes reality. People question the lines drawn and standards and rules are sometimes changed. For better, or for worse?

Anyway, I do like kinky bug sex. Analyzing why spoils it. Like holding it up to a light and making it seem something I have to be responsible for, answer for. But, it’s all in my imagination. I don’t take kinky bug sex ideas into reality. I do like seeing illustrations from others however. I do like kinky bug sex in movie scenes and written erotica. But, these are things I enjoy in the privacy of my own computer.

I have never tried anything with a real insect. That would be too weird and very unsatisfactory as an experience. Reality has too many limits to enjoy kinky bug sex. The fantasy is only limited by imagination and my own moral standards.

Source: Naked Lunch / B2 / bug style / Japan

Get Dommed on Second Life

An international femdom community in and out of the virtual world of Second Life.

Source: The Dominion Femdom – Women Rule.

After reading a little about this I gave it a try. I didn’t get far. Maybe you need a guide book to really get into using this site. Later I heard from one of the Dominion FemDoms on Twitter. Seems it is a voice based chat. Not what I really wanted. I miss the days of IRC, all text based and images were rare. We had sexting before it was a word.

Kinky Sex Tips For Curious Girls

Source: 7 Kinky Sex Tips For Curious Vanilla Girls – The Frisky

  • Initiate a kink conversation
  • Start off slow
  • Do some erotic brainstorming
  • Tantalize your partner’s senses
  • Be creative
  • Use safe words
  • Have a post-kink debrief

Not the best list. To start with, initiating a conversation about sex (kinky sex) would be a big deal.  How many non-kinky women are going to jump right in that way? Not many.

Leave some hints, without being too subtle. But, only IF this is a guy you can really trust to try something kinky with. Women starting out as submissive need to educate themselves about kinks, fetishes and BDSM before letting him lead you blindly. A safe word is not enough. By the time things get to needing a safe word it’s already gone too far. Start slow is the best advice in this list. The second best is to have a talk afterwards. Even if you feel silly or shy, especially if you feel upset, talk about it within the hour. Talk about it again later when your feelings have sorted themselves out a bit. Talk again before you try anything else.

Be creative, in the way of taking things slow. Adapt the stuff you have seen in movies, magazines, online into something mild and saner. No matter how into it you think you are (or he says he is) take time to find out how you really feel when you are actually in the situation. It’s all a lot different when it’s real. Plus, you have to live with it, have memories of it.

For submissive women – don’t assume anyone claiming to be a dominant actually knows what they are doing. Don’t trust someone too easily. Submission is giving up control but not being a door mat and having no power or voice at all.

For dominant women – don’t be led into doing what he wants. Discover what you want and do things your own way. Domming can get very boring if you really aren’t interested in what you’re doing.

Keep each other safe along the way. Communicate with each other and find kinky communities locally and/ or online to get real advice from.

How to Be a Good Sex-Work Client

Do you know the right etiquette for hiring a sex worker? The final point on this list covers all the others really. To make it simple and easy to remember, treat them with some respect and consideration. Not so different from any other business situation really is it? You may be the client in this transaction but you’re still a guest in someone’s life. You’re only paying for their time and service – you don’t get to be a jerk.

  • DO: Give out your real name and phone number.
  • DON’T: Ask a lot of personal questions.
  • DON’T: Think of it as simply paying for sex.
  • DO: Think of it as any other appointment.
  • DON’T: Show up drunk or high.
  • DO: Treat him or her with the same respect you’d afford any other sex partner.

Read the full post: Do This, Not That: How not to be rude at the gym or on the Metro, how to ask for pot or hire a sex worker—and go ahead, ask someone what they do for a living: An etiquette guide for life in D.C. – Washington City Paper

Beginners Guide for Becoming a Male Submissive

The BDSM experience is different for men and women, in several ways. Women are more careful about meeting men. Women may be looking for romance and affection, a relationship while men really just want sex. Women tend to get pushed into things they really don’t want to do, in order to keep the peace.

I often read people (men) claiming women into Domming are rare. In my experience this is not true. I encounter many women who would enjoy Domming men, if they could find one who meets their needs.

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Being a male submissive may not be what you think it is at all

There are very few men who understand what a Dom woman is looking for, what she actually wants. She does not want to be the Dom you see in pornography. If you are looking for a woman to fulfill all your porno fantasies of what male submission should be… pay for it. Professional sex workers will dress the part and read from whatever script you want, do it your way (as long as safety is considered) and give you what you want as you expect to have it.

Real women who Dom, just because they want to, will want to do things their own way. Real women Doms have their own fantasies, their own desires and plans for play, teasing, romance, seduction, torment and all their own fetishes and kinks. They will want you to please them and that may not include any of the fetishes and kinks you have been fantasizing about.

A real woman may not want a man slobbering on her shoes or expecting to wear her underwear, for instance.  Some women may like the idea of training men to submit while others think they should already be house broken.

Worship and begging may not appeal to her. For myself, both of these are a turn off. The real appeal of having a male submissive is that he be a man, strong, clever, manly and yet my submissive. Retain your dignity and be a male submissive worth having and keeping.

Before you Begin…

Decide if you actually want the reality.

Do you want a woman telling you what to do? Are you willing to be disappointed when she isn’t interested in doing what you want, the way you want it? Will you let her lead or will you try to pressure her into giving you what you want instead?

Do not manipulate your Dom. Yes, it is fun to have the erotic play of teasing, denial, struggling and so on… but it should be sincerely part of the fun and not “topping from the bottom”. Two people sincerely invested in D/s can have a lot of fun, pleasure and explorations. If you top from the bottom (manipulate your Dom) you cheat yourself from ever having the real experience of submitting, serving and discovering the pleasure of being a male submissive in reality.

Also, no Dom woman likes to be manipulated. We get this from almost every so-called male sub on dating sites and etc. It is very discouraging. If you wonder why there are so few women into Domming – this would be the number one reason.

If you can’t let go of your expectations then consider paying for what you want and getting it from a McDomme (paid to do it your way).

What are you really willing to do?

Too many men have a list of fetish and kink ideas but no thoughts about the reality. This is especially a bad idea when it comes to health and safety. There are several things which will sound good on paper or turn you on when you watch a video… but reality is not like that. Reality is messier, reality is less planned and professional, less perfect and reality has accidents and misunderstandings.

Never say you are willing to do anything/ everything. Because you aren’t. No one is – unless it’s make believe and pretend.

Read about the reality of your fetishes and kinks. Instead of watching the porn find someone who really has done it and read about their experience. What went wrong, what didn’t work and how did they learn to do it better or another way. Research the reality. Even if you have no experience you can read the experience of others (just not the porn version).

Consider safety and be practical about it

If you have issues such as allergies, a phobia, dislikes put together a list of these issues. Personally, I don’t like having something close around my neck or mouth because I grew up with asthma. I’m also allergic to animals which limits the places and people I can spend time with to some extent. These are things to be aware of, for yourself and the woman Dom you would like to meet.

Although safety and health are more up to the Dom in a D/s relationship you can’t expect her to know your needs, read your mind or use telepathy to know there is a problem.

Safe words are not that reliable. If there is a real problem, something sudden, you need communication which won’t be forgotten in the moment or confused with something else.  A direct safe word, like stop, is better than trying for some secret code you may not remember when you need it. If you use the safe word for effect rather than actually needing it the play stops anyway. Respect the safe word – it’s not a game.

Communicate and talk about anything you plan to do. Start simple and leave yourself room to back out or change the plan. you may think you want to start with the hard stuff but discover your feelings were far more involved when it was actually happening. It is possible to discover you  have a phobia or intense dislike you didn’t know you had until you tried something. This can be especially true with bondage. Actually being confined is not just as you imagine it to be. Explore and experiment with baby steps and savour the experiences as you go.

Submission is not a gift

Years ago the idea that submission is a gift started in the online BDSM groups. This is not the right attitude. Domination is just as much a gift, if you want to consider either of them a gift at all.

You have chosen to submit and your Dom has chosen to lead you, to control you and to own you (up to a point). She is not likely to want to micro-manage you. Being the Dom is a responsibility. It’s not easy and it is not something to take lightly. People can get hurt physically, mentally and emotionally. Both of you need to communicate to prevent problems. The gift is the relationship itself, when you can find it.

Explore and discover

  • Try blindfolding yourself in your own bed. How does it feel? Does the blindfold itch? Do you feel peaceful?
  • Sit on your hands next time you’re alone watching TV. How long can you keep yourself in this self-bondage? How uncomfortable is it?
  • Sit under a table, let it become your cage. Does the confinement bother you? Do you feel snugly caged or just trapped?
  • Try being naked when you are home alone. With the blinds or curtains closed stand naked in front of the window. Even knowing no one can see you do you get a thrill or can you not even do it at all?
  • Buy a dog collar for yourself. No one has to know you don’t have a dog (or your dog won’t be wearing this one). Wear the collar but wrap it around your wrist the first day (not your neck).
  • Even before you have a Dom you can practice serving her tea. Dress up (she doesn’t want pubic hair in her tea cup), make a plate up with pretty treats and serve tea in a teapot with a fancy teacup and saucer for her.

The reality is much different from the fantasy. Reality isn’t the porn version because it’s not scripted and the people are not actors. However, you can actually be one of the people involved rather than watching and wishing from the sidelines. Just make sure you want the reality, imperfect but not impersonal.

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Be a Guest Blogger [YouOnlyWetter].

Not: A Beginner’s Guide to Dominance and Submission

Just grab a tie or scarf and tie your girl’s hands to the bed posts. Girls like getting pounded while being restricted, because it takes all the responsibility for “being bad” off her shoulders.

via – A Beginner’s Guide to Dominance and Submission.

Don’t just grab and tie up anyone. BDSM is not forced on someone or something you surprise someone with. Start much slower, gentler and find out if either or both of you even like how it feels to be tied up or to be the one who ties up the other.

Not every “girl” likes being pounded in any form and for sure, not every “girl” likes being pounded while restricted. Don’t believe generalizations unless your “girl” is sex doll you bought at the store, not a real person.

Being submissive is not about giving away responsibility. For men or women, both submissive and Dom are responsible for what happens between them and how they treat each other. Being Dom does not give you free reign to do as you please. Being submissive does not mean you give away all your rights and take whatever you are given. Besides, if someone feels bad about something they did, that feeling will not go away when the BDSM part of your time is over.

Please don’t “just grab” and think all is well. Any fear in BDSM should be pleasurable, not actual afraid for your life or safety fear. Aggression should be measured, planned and decided on before any grabbing starts. BDSM is not what you see in pornography. Leave porn to the professionals who walk away with a pay cheque for their time and trouble.

BDSM is not permission to abuse people.

Pussy Fingers

Originally posted to Sex Kitten (2003 – 2004)

Finger licking good.

Clean is most important, that’s just basic, good hygiene. Next, the width, the smoothness and any extra ridges and bumpiness. I watch his hands and wonder about his dexterity and creativity. Is he sensual, does he love doing it or does he just do it to get it done?

Do you ever look at a man’s fingers and consider whether or not he has good pussy fingers?

I do. I look at men’s hands, especially their fingers and wonder how they would feel on my skin. How would they touch me. Would they be gentle with barely there touches in all my most sensitive places. Or, would they be rough, massaging, tweaking and gruffly caressing me. Would they be the kind to nibble? Then, when things are going well and we are both aroused, how would he get from the boobs to the pussy. They all seem to do that. Like a “Guide to Women Touching” they have all read.

Still, there are so many ways to go from boobs to pussy. Does he dive in and not bother with the teasing, tormenting fun stuff? Not if you’re lucky.

I look at men’s fingers, random men as I come across them at work, at a restaurant, on the bus, whatever. Some fingers really do perk my interest. It doesn’t matter about the man who has the fingers. Some of them are old men, the type who have worked a lot with their hands and they don’t have pretty hands. Their fingers are not soft and slender and especially sensitive. Likely they have calluses if not scars. The thick working man’s fingers are the kind I notice most of all.

I will imagine them tracing softly up my thighs to skim the pussy lips and take a little dip inside. I daydream of thick fingers pushing inside, through my wetness and deep inside of my pussy itself, filling me with those long, thick, ridgy fingers. Twisting his fingers, flexing them and his thumb stroking my clit in just the right, slow way. Much later, after a job so very well done, I wonder, does he lick his fingers? Do I taste good?

House of Music

 Originally posted to Sex Kitten (2003 – 2004)

The house had history, atmosphere and music. It also had a ghost.

“Every house has it’s own music, you just have to listen.”

“You’re full of it. Spouting that philosophical nonsense when we need to focus on getting out of here. What does any of that namby pamby crap matter now?”

“It matters.” Kate settled down cross-legged on the cellar floor. She ignored the cold cement, the mustiness and her husband’s temper. It wasn’t her fault the door had swung shut and stayed that way. Sure she had brought him here to explore with her but she wasn’t the one naive enough to expect every door that opened once would open again on the other side.

“Shut up, just shut up while I figure this out.” Steve seemed to always be grumpy.

The cellar was dimly lit, just the early morning light managing to filter in. But she could see with more than her eyes. The house had history, atmosphere and music.

It also had ghosts. Not the Halloween movie type ghosts. These were real ghosts. Quiet, watching and wondering who was disturbing the abandoned mansion. They were part of the music too, the history, the very wood, marble and bones of the house. It was an easy listening song but with undertones of something slightly gothic. Kate wrote gothic romances as a hobby, she understood gothic well. Or, as well as anyone could be expected to. Continue reading House of Music