Retro Internet: The 1500 Point Purity Test

Long ago, in the days of the Internet surfing highway, there was a purity test with over 1000 questions. I found a copy of it. Posted for your viewing (or take the test) pleasure.

THE UNISEX PURITY TEST

If you thought the millenial purity test was bad, well you ain’t see
nuttin’ yet!

This is the 1500 point Purity Test!

We felt that the 1000 point version lost a lot of the “fun” of the
earlier versions, so we re-wrote it, adding a few new sections, and
a shitload of questions. This test is guaranteed to be nosier that
your parents, more invasive than the census, and containing something
to offend everybody.

Also included is an answer form so that you can remember where in the
test you were, or show to a friend.

Continue reading Retro Internet: The 1500 Point Purity Test

Famous Women Gardeners

Famous Women Gardeners
By Gay Klok

Introduction

GERTRUDE JEKYLL
V. SACKVILLE-WEST
EDNA WALLING
LESTER ROWNTREE
ELIZABETH VON ARNIM

You may have heard of the first two but not have heard of the last two ladies. During the next weeks we will learn how these five women had an enormous influence on our modern-day gardens and I hope to open to you, with discussions and suggested readings, their fascinating gardening world and interesting lives.

These women had many things in common, though they lived and gardened in different geographical areas. They were all passionate about gardening, they lived mostly in the same period of time and they designed and planted other people’s gardens, creating a soft and romantic style. Perhaps we could say they planted with a strongly feminine style.

When we examine their personalities, we might remark they presented a masculine presence – the way they dressed, the physical garden labour they undertook and their strong belief in equality of the sexes. Although there are these shared characteristics, we will discover they all led quite different private lives! Continue reading Famous Women Gardeners

Car Boot Sale

I’d never heard the term “car boot sale” before. I knew the boot was the trunk of the car, in the UK.

Car boot/trunk sales or boot/trunk fairs are a mainly British form of market in which private individuals come together to sell household and garden goods.

We have farmer’s markets here. Similar but not quite the same. This would be like having your garage sale at the farmer’s market.

Scrap Club: A New Twist on Recycling

the bottom line is that we supply you with sledgehammers, crowbars, bats and pipes to destroy various household objects such as tvs, washing machines, cookers, computers, musical instruments, office furniture and the occasional car….all the objects are sourced from the streets usually dumped and/or are donated to us as useless objects beyond their original use….everything destroyed is scrap…if it works we don’t use it….safety is of course paramount so you will be provided with professional safety equipment such as goggles, helmets and gloves professional first-aiders are always on hand just in case…..names are chosen randomly, 10 people at a time get 10 minutes in the ‘scrap pit’ and everybody gets a turn….

via What happens | Scrapclub.

What happens | Scrapclub

http://www.scrapclub.co.uk/what-happens

the bottom line is that we supply you with sledgehammers, crowbars, bats and pipes to destroy various household objects such as tvs, washing machines, cookers, computers, musical instruments, office furniture and the occasional car….all the objects are sourced from the streets (usually dumped) and/or are donated to us as useless objects beyond their original use….everything destroyed is scrap…if it works we don’t use it….safety is of course paramount so you will be provided with professional safety equipment such as goggles, helmets and gloves (professional first-aiders are always on hand just in case)…..names are chosen randomly, 10 people at a time get 10 minutes in the `scrap pit’ and everybody gets a turn….

What Are Men For?

What are men for? I’ve never come up with a really good answer for that. I’ve been married, divorced, I’ve been a daughter and a sister and even a niece and a granddaughter.  The farther the men are from your direct social circle the better it seems to be, over all. I thought my Grandfather was great. Of course, I’m particularly partial to my brother as well but I’ve known him longer than any other man.

Sure there are some good times, when things are going well. Sure they have some usefulness when it comes to brawniness. They can do things like opening stuck jar lids most of the time. They can reach stuff on a high shelf, though it’s usually themselves who put it there cause women have more sense. If you don’t like to kill bugs you should find a man who isn’t squeamish about it. But, that’s more a ying and yang thing. You could have a friend who squishes the bugs for you too, you don’t have to be dating or married to get your bugs squished. Never marry a guy just because you like the way he squishes bugs.

Men will want to tell us they are good for sex and reproduction. But, honestly, that only works so well for them. Men expect to be demanding about sex. Women expect to be romanced about sex. Two different directions. Also, when she finishes the last load of laundry, unloads the dishwasher and then thinks she could just fall into bed she isn’t likely to want to another load of anything. My Dad was of the generation of men who came home from work, ate dinner and then watched TV until he went to bed. No household chores, though he did do some child care, when he was pushed into it. I don’t know how much sex my parents had after my little sister (kid #4) was born. I doubt it was a lot. By the time I was a teenager they were sleeping on different floors of the house, let alone different beds.

So if men aren’t really needed for sex or reproduction or bug killing and we buy some gadget to open the jars and a step ladder for the high shelves… what do you need a man around the house for?

The roles of men in a relationship and a family are changing. On TV we see the fantasy story of men who do dishes. Yet, notice how the house is already immaculate. Quite a conception, those homes that don’t need dusting and the jobs people have that they only seem to spend an hour at work and the rest of the day wandering the city on the phone. Everything works out in an hour on TV.

In real life men need to become involved, proactive. Bring some romance, some flowers and open some doors, to start with. Then offer to do dishes at home. If she’s the type who says no… don’t believe her! How many times do people say no when they really don’t mean it. Not about things like taking on work, at least. If a man comes home and walks past a laundry room with a load of clothes ready to be put in the machine does he ignore them and let her get to it, does he complain later that he has no clean underwear or does he just go ahead and load them into the machine?

A real man does laundry. In my opinion, that’s what men are for. Someone who makes a home, a relationship and a family with you. No wonder more women are getting divorced or not really wanting to marry at all. If you don’t have that partnership you’re just taking on another full time job without any real benefits.

If I get married again, I want the partnership. I want a man I can come home to and be happy to see. I don’t want to come home to loads of work and dick in my bed at night.

Sensual Discipline

Sensual Discipline
Originally posted to Adult BackWash, my weekly column was Bait and Switch: Wednesday July 24, 2002

Being a Domme should be about doing what turns you on, not about satisfying all of his whims, fetishes and turn ons. You are the one in charge after all. Otherwise, what do you really get out of it? Sure, its nice to please your mate, but that’s not the name of this game. You please him by pleasing you. So, wipe your slate clean and start fresh, with a new mind set.

First, consider tossing out are those fetish wear clothes and heels. Unless you really do find pleasure in wearing them, why torture yourself? Think of something practical, like boots you can stomp around in. In your mind play “These boots were made for walking” and get yourself walking in a new pair of sexy, woman in charge boots. Spike heels optional. When you think of clothes why wear something expensive in leather. Check out some denim, its washable and easy to wear. As we all know, cotton breathes. If you can sew put together an outfit, maybe a dramatic cape too.

Once you’re dressed for success put yourself in the picture. Think of things YOU would really like to do to or with him. If having him kiss your feet turns you off, his feet fetish is on the back burner. Instead, have him brush your hair, wash it too. Or he can be of some use polishing your nails, running your bath water, making dinner and cleaning everything up afterwards. Be creative but don’t cater to his desires unless you want the same things. Do you hate cleaning the bathroom, would you like a servant to scrub your back in the shower, would you like a bouquet of fresh flowers sent to your work or would you just like to see him naked and waiting for you to make use of him, hoping that you will notice him sometime before the evening news.

You might not even want to play this game at all. It could be all his nagging, pestering or demands have put you right off the whole thing and its become a job you have to do. Take some time off from it, regroup and see if there is some aspect of this you could enjoy. Experiment on him. Tie him to a chair for the morning and just leave him there. Blindfold him, gag him, play with him or ignore him – he is totally in your hands. This is one time when the pace of the foreplay (or sex) is all up to you.

Find new things for him to do, household chores, pampering you, or spending a day at your mercy. The most important thing is to remember you are the one he should be pleasing, not the other way around.

Laundry Day

Laundry Day
Originally posted to Adult BackWash: Monday April 22, 2002

Chris stood a little back from the wooden fence and watched the children walking to school. Most walked in pairs he noticed. Some carried lunch pails or books. Many had those backpacks slung over one shoulder. He was grateful they were too busy laughing and watching each other to notice the naked man tied to the clothesline in their neighbour’s backyard. The fence with its thick, angled boards worked well to hide him. Chris sheltered behind the fence, knowing he was not invisible. He could feel the blush rise in his cheeks each time one of the kids looked in the direction of the fence.

If he stretched his neck he could just manage to see his Governess inside watching the early news with her second coffee. Unfortunately he had spilled the first pot, all over the bed, soaking the sheets. She ordered him to strip himself after he stripped the bed. As soon as he made a fresh pot of coffee, and served it properly, she instructed him to go outside exactly as he was. The locking collar was around his neck, a chain of paper clips were threaded through the ring in the collar and then around the clothesline. The paperclip chain was a test of his obedience. Of course, he could “escape” any time if he chose to. But that was not the point nor was it what he really wanted. He wanted his Governess’ control, her dominance, sometimes she found ways for him to prove to himself (and show her of course) just how much he wanted it.

He was out here, feeling very exposed, until the sheets were washed and dried to her satisfaction. He wasn’t sure if she planned to machine dry them or put them on the line. He was hoping she would decide it was too chilly yet for them to dry outside. At the very least, he could hope she would want his help in making the bed. Chris smiled thinking of making the bed with his Governess and sometimes unmaking it before it was ever made.

Inside he heard the washing machine finish. His Governess was watching something about a cougar at the local Zoo. Chris almost dared to get a branch he had noticed at the far end of the clothesline and use it to tap on the window. However, she would probably just ignore him. As Chris watched, the last of the school kids turned the corner and were gone. That gave him one less thing to worry about. The morning seemed to be warming up slowly. His goosebumps were fading slightly, or perhaps he was adjusting to the colder air. A few birds were still chatting in the trees. They were probably wondering if they could get the shrinking worm hanging there on that ridiculous naked man allowing himself to be tied to the clothesline like a dog.

His Governess’ appearance startled him from his thoughts. She carried the laundry basket with the freshly washed sheets. “Hang them on the line while you are out here Chris.” She laughed and put the basket down in his reach.

Chris tried his best sad little smile, hoping for some sign of sympathy, maybe even a reduction in sentence, no such luck. “I’ll bring you out a coffee,” She said, already turning to go.

“Its cold out here, Governess,” Chris called after her.

“You aren’t blue yet Chris,” he heard her laughing as the door closed behind her.

He was hanging the fitted sheet when she brought a steaming, hot coffee in his dog bowl and set it on the railing of the deck. “Poor doggie, you are chained up too tight to reach your dish if I leave it on the ground for you. I wouldn’t want to be accused of animal abuse or neglect so I will leave it right here for you my little doggie. Drink while it’s still hot.”

“Thank you Governess,” Chris said, trying out a sad puppy look.

“My little Chris, you have no idea how hot it is making me to have you tied up naked out here. I’m not even sure just what it is I like especially. You can be sure we will be doing it again.” She grinned, running a hand over his bottom cheeks.

Chris dreaded the idea of having to expose himself outside again. Already he was thinking the sheets couldn’t take more than half an hour to dry and surely it would be over then. He planned to stay indoors the rest of the day, once she finally let him get inside of course.

“I’m picturing how wonderful it will be to have you out here doing your yard work like this. How nice it will be to have nothing between your skin and my line of sight as I watch you sweat, strain and work outside. I do believe you will get lucky today little Chris, outside once I release you from your household duties. How lucky you spilled that coffee after all. This is turning out to be such a yummy day.” His Governess had that sparkle of mischief and fun in her eyes. Chris felt pleased to have pleased his Governess so well, yet the method of it left him feeling less than pleased.

Watching her all but skip back into the house Chris felt safe to grimace. He looked up at the sky, but it was getting clearer and bluer and warmer, not much chance for rain today. He hung out the pillowcases and pulled the line out to leave the sheets fluttering in the morning breeze. The coffee was still hot. He drank it gratefully, feeling the hot liquid pour down his throat leaving a trail of warmth.

Inside he could hear his Governess tossing in another load of laundry, washing the breakfast dishes and bagging up garbage. She almost missed the truck. Those were all his usual jobs, but he was rather tied up at the moment. At least she hadn’t forgotten garbage day; it wouldn’t have been pretty in the garage if it all had to wait until next week to be picked up.

Peeking through the fence, he could see her chatting with the men at the end of the driveway, probably laughing about nearly missing them. She was wearing a long denim dress now. It covered her well but the neckline tended to slip off her shoulders. He could see one bare shoulder now. A surge of annoyance flickered in him as he thought the garbage men probably noticed the bare shoulder and knew she was braless. If she was braless, she was most likely pantieless too. Chris consoled himself with the fact that the garbage men couldn’t know that just from seeing one bare shoulder. Even the bare shoulder could just be a slipped strap though less likely for a woman with his Governess’ large breasts. Those beautiful, firm, round, soft breasts with the perfect rose pink nipples… Chris wasn’t feeling the chill quite as much now. He was feeling something all together different.

The supersoaker hit him mid-chest. The attack of warm water made him jump a foot in the air at least. He had been so distracted he hadn’t even noticed his Governess approach with the huge, well- armed supersoaker. She aimed lower this time. Wetting his already wet cock.

“My, my Chris what were you thinking,” she laughed and shot more water at his cock. “What a naughty boy you can be. I can’t imagine what could get you so turned on about sheets flapping in the breeze.” With a last shot of warm water at his bottom this time, she indicated another load of laundry dumped in the basket. “Bring the sheets down and then you can hang out the next batch. How nice it is to have a laundry man to fold and fluff and guard the line of ash too. You never know when the laundry marauders could swoop down and cart it all away.” Laughing, she held her arms out for the sheets and pillowcases as he took them off the line and folded them for her.

Again, she left him. This time he was exposed and aroused and feeling more like some old pervert than he ever thought he could. Not that 37 was old, not over the hill or even half way. He had his health and now with his Governess keeping him on her unique fitness plan he was looking pretty good, so what if his belly wasn’t as flat as it was at 20. Governess seemed to like it, she nibbled on him and rubbed and kneaded him during sex. Sure he would rather be some God-like perfect man for her but she never showed any sign of not wanting to play with his belly or the rest of his body.

Chris sighed as his arousal grew. He really > did need to think about something else. She would be sure he was enjoying his exposure if she saw him aroused all day.

Chris finished the lukewarm coffee from his dog dish. The second batch of clothes was hung and drying. There were denim jeans this time. Not a good sign for his early release from the clothesline. Peeking in the window again he looked and listened for some sign of his Governess. It seemed quiet in the house. Would she have gone out and left him? She did like to take her walk in the morning. Dare he take advantage of that for a quick trip to the bathroom and a hot shower? He listened, hoping to hear something. Hearing nothing gave him hope, though it could be very misleading if she was working on the computer in the spare room. Chris waited a little longer.

Hearing nothing after what seemed a long time, he decided to take the chance. By now his bladder was badly in need of relief. He could wait for the shower if he had to. Although a hot shower would feel indecently good after standing outside most of the morning. Chris unclipped two paperclips and set himself free. He felt extremely naughty, a truly disobedient boy, as he quickly dashed across the grass and into the house. He waited, just inside the door, listening. Hearing nothing, he headed to the bathroom. The supersoaker hit him in the small of his back this time. “Freeze!” ordered his Governess.

Chris stood still; past punishments for disobeying her orders flew through his mind. Governess did not make punishments pleasant. “I really need to pee Governess. Your little boy just couldn’t wait any longer, I’m sorry.”

“OK Chris, go into the bathroom.” She followed him in.

“I will be right out again Governess,” Chris said a touch anxiously.

She pushed firmly on his bottom until he was standing in front of the toilet. “Hold your arms out from your sides Chris.” She took his cock in her hand and pointed it at the toilet. “Pee now,” she ordered. Chris felt a blush begin down at his toes and consume his whole body. He wasn’t sure if he could pee with her holding his cock. However, need took over and thoroughly humiliated and miserable, he let his Governess help him pee. When it began to trickle down she asked, “All done little man?”

“Yes, thank you Governess.” Chris managed to say. She took a square of toilet paper and dried the end of his cock. She took her time, playing with him, accidentally-on-purpose rubbing her thumb over and over the head of his cock.

“Now little guard dog, you should get yourself chained back out there and if you are really good I will bring you another load of washing. This time it will all be delicates. That should give you some interesting thoughts while you wait for it to dry.” She held his cock using it as a leash to guide him out of the bathroom and back outside. “How would you like me to fill your doggie dish with water again? Are you really, really thirsty for more, little Chris?” She laughed at the horrified look Chris wasn’t able to hold back.

“Bring in any of those clothes that have dried before you chain yourself again.” She left him standing outside the door. When he heard the tap running in the kitchen, he went on his way quickly.

It seemed hours later, watching her bras and panties tease him from their lofty perch on the clothesline. He couldn’t help but cop a feel of a few of the just washed undies. His fingers smoothed over the silky cups of her bras, pressing in the centres where her nipples would poke out at him, always teasing him. The feel of her washed and still damp panties excited him, he became hard very fast. He had found one pair with a trace of her scent still on them. He hung that little silky treasure out last, nearest to his paperclip chain at the end of the line.

Time passed, the sun warmed the yard and dried even the thick jeans. The panties were long dry by then; he missed them though he could almost fool himself that the smell yet lingered on his fingers. His cock was fooled. He was still stiff and quite ready for some time alone with his Governess and her soft round body, naked under that dress. Chris groaned, trying to find something else to concentrate his attention on.

“You have been an excellent laundry guard dog today little Chris. Though you are not so little in some places.” She giggled.” Chris has a stiffy, Chris has a stiffy, Chris has a stiffy,” she chanted, tormenting him and laughing at his blush.

She unchained him and he felt his cock bob in appreciation. Having her take his chain and lead him was doing almost as much for his arousal as the panties had. Her domination, being owned by her was brought home to him in a big way. He was beginning to feel desperate for her to use his body, to take his cock, her cock really.

“Please Governess your little boy has been good today. Could I have a reward, please” Chris asked.

She led him to the sunniest corner in the back yard. “Kneel down on the grass Chris. I have been watching you all day, from the windows and the screen door. You have made me very wet. Just thinking of you naked and chained outside has made me want your services little man.” She pulled her dress over her head and off in one smooth movement. She was deliciously naked as he knelt before her.

Chris could only answer with a groan. His Governess’ pussy was right in front of his face. He could see the damp curls. He could lean his face into her and taste them if she would allow him to. He wanted to so very, very much. Struggling for control he said, “May I serve you now Governess?” He looked at her pussy, inhaling the scent so close to the source, wanting so much to hold her hips and ass as his tongue plundered, tasted and sucked deep inside her hot juiciness.

She stood closer to his face, pressing her pussy up to almost touch his lips. Standing before him she opened her legs and said, “Serve me little man.” She dug her hands into his hair as his face began to burrow into her warm dripping pussy. He put one hand on her bottom to steady her and used the other to open the lips of her pussy wider for his penetration. Through his own noises he could hear her moans of pleasure and desire. She was driving him over edge too soon. He had to draw back.

He was panting heavily as he looked up at her face. Her eyes were closed and her head was thrown back, her lips slightly open. She noticed his absence from her pussy and ground herself against his face. His own hips humped once, twice, his control almost gone. Still, he held his Governess and lowered her to the grass, opening her legs wider and playing with every fold and bump inside her pussy. He sucked and nipped at her nipples and gave her body caresses in all the places he knew would most arouse and excite her. Then, only when she finally asked for his cock did he enter her pussy. He nearly came before his first thrust inside her. Her legs wrapped tightly around him, forcing him deeper. She again lifted her hips and ground her pussy onto his cock. The little whimpering sounds she made robbed him of his last ounce of control and he pumped into her hard and fast. In his mind he was begging her to cum with him, knowing he was so close he could reach out and bite it. Just as his control slipped and he felt his balls tighten and begin to spurt their load inside her he felt her body tighten and pulse around him, cumming a second before he did himself.

Much later, after a shared shower and a dash out into the gathering darkness for the forgotten laundry on the line, they sat cuddled together on the couch. “Next time you play hookey from work I’m going to have you do yard work in the nude.” She grinned up at his blushing face, then took his hand and led him away for a bedtime story that would last long past his bedtime.

Loves, Likes and Curiousities

This is my list of Loves, Likes and Curiousities from CollarMe.com. My profile is still up there but I don’t use the site very much. I used to really enjoy the forum a few years ago. I never liked the chat, the men spoil it. I had one guy ask me why I was online if I wasn’t there to find someone to fuck with. Pretty small mind and not much respect for women. 

Loves:

Coffee Shops
Travel
Body Worship
Breast Play
Massage (Getting)
Mental Bondage (Beginner)
Science Fiction
Drawing
Writing

Likes:

Beachcombing
Flea Markets
Museums
Volunteerism
Blindfolds
Bondage (Beginner)
Cages (Beginner)
Collars
Local BDSM Community
Humiliation (Beginner)
Munches
Obedience Training
Outdoor Bondage
Public Play
Card Games
MMORPGs
Online RPGs
Role Playing Games
Simulation Games
Web Surfing
Cooking
Gardening
Photography
Sewing
Blogging
History
Female Supremacy

Curious About:

CBT
Chastity
Corner Time
Exhibitionism
Eye Contact Restrictions (Beginner)
Leashes
Objectification
Serving as a Maid/Butler
Spanking
Speech Restrictions
Paranormal
Gorean Lifestyle
Victorian Household

Grrl in Charge

I don’t think it’s terrible or very adult to be interested in being the woman in charge of the man when it comes to the fun side of a relationship. To say it politely versus talking about more shocking things like BDSM and Dommes and men who want to be submissive.

It’s not all about sex. There are things and situations assumed as soon as someone talks about BDSM and Dominance and submission. But, for me it’s about being in charge and doing things my own way. If you don’t want him drooling over you then you get to make the change. Instead he can wash the dishes and then kneel at your feet until just having him kneeling there starts to be more interesting than annoying.

I don’t see everything connected to the D/s fetish being adult and taboo. It’s fun. Aren’t there things you’d like to do which ‘nice girls’ just don’t do? Wouldn’t you like to have a man be the one who feels helpless and unsatisfied for a change. You don’t need leather clothes, extraordinary high heels or whips and chains. You can skip the accessories completely and just work with your voice telling him what to do. Force isn’t necessary. Both of you want to do this, to have this experience and that is part of the charge and thrill of it.

Keep it all in the bedroom, private and just between the two of you. Take it out a bit, for a little more fun. Torment him just a little more. But, keep it fun for both of you. He needs to know you are in charge and that means you say when you’ve had enough, just are plain not interested or want him in another room- preferably making himself useful doing some of the household everyday work.

So are you shocked? My little secret is out. I like being the woman in charge of the man, at least in the bedroom.