30 Days of Dominance

Found this posted to several Tumblr BDSM sites. Another project, for another time.

Day 1 – Does your Dominance – either what you practice or what you strive for – have a label? Do you view your preferred Dominant style as Taken in Hand, Domestic Discipline, Top/bottom, Dominant/submissive, Master/slave, Owner/pet, or some other description or combination? If you do not use a label, why?

Day 2 – Describe what you are looking for in a submissive and the techniques you might use to instill those characteristics in your submissive. Are you exclusively Dominant in marriage or just in the bedroom? Are you Dominant only in the context of a scene or in a role or throughout your daily life? Are you Dominant to play partners or only in the context of a relationship?

Day 3 – How do you know you are a Dominant or have the potential to be Dominant? How do you feel when you express your Dominance?

Day 4 – Do you switch into a submissive role at any time? Are you a “switch” in BDSM terms? If not, have you ever thought about it or given thought to why it’s not for you? If you are in a Domestic Discipline relationship, are there things that you do not maintain control over?

Day 5 – Have you been or are you in a Dominant/submissive dynamic relationship or is this new to you? Have you been in more than one D/s relationship? How were they the same? How were they different? What is unique about your relationships in your mind?

Day 6 – What do you feel are the roots of your Dominance? Do you think it has something to do with childhood, upbringing or parental example? Is it a relationship management tool as in the practice of domestic discipline? Is it a sexual thrill or something else?

Day 7 – Do you inflict discipline or punishment as part of your Dominance? Why or why not? How do you feel about discipline and punishment as tools used to invoke and maintain submission from your partner/s?

Day 8 – Is spanking or corporal punishment part of your Dominance? Why or why not? How do you feel about spanking and/or corporal punishment as tools used to invoke and maintain submission from your partner/s?

Day 9 – Do you set and enforce structure, rules and limits as part of your Dominance? Why or why not? How do you feel about the use of structure, rules and limits as tools used to invoke and maintain submission from your partner/s?

Day 10 – Do you utilise any elements of BDSM in your Dominant style? How do you feel about BDSM? Is it core to your Dominance, peripheral or non-existent?

Day 11 – Do you expect servitude from your submissive/s? How do you define servitude and service? What does it mean to you? If you do not seek or expect servitude from your submissive/s, what is it about the concept of servitude that is not for you?

Day 12 – Do you expect financial submission from submissive partner/s? If yes, how does it manifest itself? If no, is there a particular reason why? Are you familiar with the concept of financial submission? Do you have an opinion about financial submission in general?

Day 13 – Is sexual availability, having your submissive partner/s sexually available to you at any time and in any manner you choose, part of your expectations as a Dominant? Why or why not? Are there acceptable limits to this? If so, what are they?

Day 14 – Does religion have any bearing on your Dominance or the way you expect your partner/s to submit? If not, are you familiar with religious based submission and do you view it as similar to other types of submission or dissimilar?

Day 15 – Has your Dominance evolved over time? If so, how has it evolved for you? What do you attribute this evolution (or lack of) to?

Day 16 – Have you found that your Dominance has changed with different partners or relationships? If you’re involved with, or have been involved with, partners of both sexes, has your Dominance changed based on gender or do you feel that it is dependent on the submissive as an individual?

Day 17 – What does trust mean to you in the context of Dominance? How do you inspire trust in your submissive?

Day 18 – There is a common misconception that the submissive partner in a D/s relationship loses the ability to have and express an opinion. How does communication factor into your Dominance and what expectations do you have in terms of your submissive expressing their desires and needs? Is it limited in time, place or manner?

Day 19 – How socially connected are you as a Dominant? Do you look for others to talk to about your Dominance either for support, learning, educating or networking? Do you go to events or connect through another sort of social grouping either in person or online?

Day 20 – Has your Dominance increased or decreased over time? Have you ever had to renegotiate with your submissive due to a change in feelings or circumstance? Have your interests as a Dominant expanded or contracted over time?

Day 21 – Is there a physical position that makes you feel most Dominant? Is there a physical position you prefer your submissive to take in order to express their submission?

Day 22 – Can you feel Dominant without a submissive partner? If so, how does your Dominance express itself? If not, how do you handle your need to be Dominant?

Day 23 – Is there anything about Dominance, either your own or what you see in others, which you question, dislike or are repelled by? Was there a time you questioned or were resistant to your own Dominant needs and desires?

Day 24 – What are the emotions that most directly let you access your Dominance? What feelings do they inspire?

Day 25 – Are there items, objects or rituals that represent or help you express your Dominance? If not, have you ever thought of adding or being gifted one? Is there a special significance to these objects or rituals?

Day 26 – What are the qualities that you seek in a submissive partner? Are there qualities which you consider ‘must haves’ or ‘must not haves’? If so, what are they and for what reasons are they ‘must haves’ or ‘must not haves’?

Day 27 – Do you have Dominant desires or fantasies that you have yet to explore? Do some of your desires confuse or frighten you? Do they excite you?

Day 28 – Has your Dominance ever failed you? Have you ever been criticised or received negative feedback for your Dominance? Have you ever regretted your actions or emotions as a Dominant either in a moment or in a relationship? Have you ever looked back and realised you made a mistake and, if so, what lessons did you learn and how did you apply them?

Day 29 – Is pain or humiliation part of your Dominant expression? What is your relationship to pain and humiliation? Do you embrace it as part of your Dominance, inflict it reluctantly or have some other type of relationship with it?

Day 30 – Is your need to be Dominant being met? If not, or if your situation changed, do you think that you could continue in your life and be happy and content without being able to express your Dominance in the way that feels best to you? What makes being a Dominant special to you?

Beginners Guide for Becoming a FemDom

held captive

BDSM has been exploding ever since Fifty Shades of Grey. Women who had lost touch with their sexual selves were now running back to their partners and jumping into bed with a new level of enthusiasm, lust and need. Bondage toys were flying off the shelves of internet stores like Adam & Eve, hardware stores sold out of rope and BDSM classes and tutorials were over-booked. But all of this BDSM focused on the woman being the submissive and the man being the dominant. Nothing spoke to the woman who wanted to be the dominant, making it seem like that wasn’t the natural way of things and that the woman had to be submissive. Well, Fifty Shades of Grey fanatics would be wrong. Being a female dominant, frequently abbreviated to FemDom, can be just as fulfilling and rewarding as being a submissive, if not more. But where and how do you begin?

Maybe you’re here because you want to take on the FemDom position in your current relationship or are looking to start one? Perhaps, your partner really wants you to do it and you just don’t know how, whatever the case, it’s important to read as much as you can about the lifestyle and step in slowly. An interesting fact is that there are far fewer FemDoms than submissives, so if you were looking to start a new relationship, you’re likely to have a good amount of men to choose from. FemDoms are also not those cliche images you see of them in movies and shows–the overly latexed, gothic girl, who’s ready stomp on your brain. You can certainly wear whatever you want and a costume is a great way to get into the mood, but if you’re not a leather, latex and spike kind of girl, you don’t have to do it. You can be a FemDom in an apron and 50s style dress if you want. It’s all about attitude, the outfit is just for show.

When you’re beginning your foray into domination, make sure you keep open communication with your partner. It is likely they’ve been on board from the start if they were prompting you to do so or knew you were interested, but you should still talk about limits. What kind of domination do they like? Are they ok with pain? What kind and how much? You might be controlling them, but you still need to set initial parameters to make sure no one gets hurt. It’s also key to set up a safe word that you can both use when things are becoming too much.

A really great way to get the relationship started is by assigning names to each other. Make him call you mistress, your highness, master…whatever you want. And make sure he is only referred to as something demeaning like slave, pussy etc.

When it comes to domination, you have to assert your power and control. You can do this by teasing your partner, humiliating them and punishing them. These things may be totally new for you, so ease in them slowly if you feel a little uncomfortable demanding your partner do things.

Teasing can be as easy as tying up your partner and then sitting on their face, blindfolding them, making them kneel for you, telling them they can’t come until you want them to, forcing them to get you off over and over again. Assert your dominance, get the pleasure you want and deny them of theirs.

Humiliation will come into play when they will do anything for you and anything to get off. This can be a lot of fun. You can make him do housework for you (two birds with one stone!), dress up like a girl, put a leash and collar on him, make him give you a massage, or make him use a dildo on himself. Be inspired by the moment and just go with it. It will be fun to see how far he will go.

Punishment can be a hard one to get used to if you’re not used to watching your partner be in pain–but you have to remember, it’s what they want. You can try ball gagging them, hog-tying, spanking or whipping them, denying them orgasm for an extended period of time, or even use nipple clamps on them. This is where its important to remember their limits and be aware of their threshold for pain.

Once you start experimenting, you’ll find a rhythm and figure out what you and your partner like and what works for you. From there keep exploring, keep reading and take part in some lifestyle events where you can meet more people like you and learn from others. Have fun and be open-minded!

Note: This is a guest post. Not all of the opinions are the same as my own.

The Spencer Spanking Plan, 1936

The Spencer Spanking Plan

 

By Dorothy Spencer

 

*this was written so long ago that we believe it has fallen out of copyright. In any case, if you know who Dorothy Spencer is, we’d like to give her credit for this very entertaining piece.

 

 

Foreword

Several years ago I conceived the idea of settling domestic misunderstandings in our home upon a somewhat unique basis — the giving of and submitting to carefully regulated corporal punishment. Continue reading The Spencer Spanking Plan, 1936

Conversations About Switching (Part 2)

The closest I came before that was reading some of my Dad’s Gor books and finding trashy magazines my younger brother had hidden. These were geared to men’s fantasies of course. 


I’m still learning what my inner most desires are. Bondage certainly, Im not sure about spankings or a lot of the other “traditional” pain/ pleasure ideas. I am willing to experience most of these things. Except something like being whipped, that would be very painful. 


I read a lot of historical romance novels growing up, sometimes I still do *grin*. Many of my ideas of being submissive come from what I have read there. Things like being selected and then captured by some desert sheik. Carried aboard a pirate/ Viking ship and having to accept “him” as my master. The same situation in different scenes really. Part of these scenes was always testing how far you could go before you were pulled back by the sheik, Viking, etc. That was something I always enjoyed too. I do it now with my IRC Dom. It is not disrespect to him when I tease him. I like being told I have gone too far and being pulled back. 

> itself does nothing to foster a relationship. When however it is a natural part
> of a loving relationship it can be a very powerful part of that relationship.
> Usually it signifies one has sufficient trust in ones partner to allow oneself
> to surrender, (submission), to whatever that person may wish to do. In some
> ladies with a prudish outlook, or like the Victorians of past, it was a way for
> them overcoming their prudishness or natural reserve that was a strict part of
> their upbringing.  In their mind s eye, it was a way of secretly enjoying
> uninhibited sex which they really immensely enjoyed, but at the same time
> allowed them to maintain the pretence that there was nothing they could do to
> prevent their husband s lustful advances.

Master Michael, This idea could be true for me. I have always been a “good girl”. Nothing I have done would have turned one hair on my Grandmother’s head grey (Except for my not choosing to be Christian). I like being a good girl, I can respect myself. But I dont want to be a good girl 24 hrs a day and 7 days a week. For one thing Im far too curious. Maybe bondage and giving up control is a way for me to allow myself to be something I want and yet am not completely comfortable with. I hadnt thought about it this way before. Your mention of the Victorian women struck a chord in me though. 


I was glad the Master pleased himself as well as the sub. It seems to me that both Master and sub should be pleasured. Other wise the scene does not seem balanced. Almost as if the Master is a bystander, this makes him seem a little aloof or dettached from the action. 


I like the idea of wearing the collar and of having a collar worn for me. This is why I am a switch and not a sub or a Domme alone. 


I think that is what I like about bondage. It does let you give away your freedom of choice. I had been wondering how I could like bondage and subbing when I love being independant and doing things my own way. I really dont like being told what to do at all! LOL


at do you think of Doms that switch?  I have heard some subbies say they dont care for Doms with whip marks on their asses. Im not sure how I feel. It has been thrown at me and I feel kind of weird about it.  What is your opinion? He told me once that is was for balance. But last night was the third time I have balanced him and I am not sure I like it. I can be the Domme, its not easy, but I can do it. I dont think I can look at him the same way though. I liked it better when he had the control now that I have had it I guess I dont see him as being two steps ahead of me any more. Its confusing and disappointing. Yet he is still the same Dom that made me feel a lot of things I havent felt before. When I began subbing for him I could feel his power even through IRC. I liked the way it felt. 

——– REPLY, Original message follows ——–
> If/when the Dom/Master switches with His sub, is He truely submitting to her?
> Is she really Dominating Him? Or are they just Topping/bottoming?  .. And, does
> it make a difference?

> If He get some pleasure from being whipped/flogged occasionally, why would His
> sub/slave think this type of service any different from caressing Him, using
> her lips and hands for His pleasure?


> I like you as a sub!  Don’t go against nature by attempting to be a femdomme.
>  It’s just not you, laura!

I don’t know what I am any more. I’m falling for him and it is scaring the heck out of me. We have talked about Domming and subbing and we seem to click in that way. He is very strong and independent. He just likes someone to bring him down a peg or two after work. I would like someone to look after and boss around a little and someone who will give me some discipline and strength the rest of the time. We like so many of the same things. Our lifestyles fit together like pieces of a puzzle. 


Have you ever loved any of your subs or Dommes or vanillas? I only felt this way once before and it was a disaster at the end. Have you ever been at that point where you have to decide whether or not to let go and put everything you are on the line? I’m trying to hold back. But I keep wanting to tell him so many things. He may be coming out this way sometime this Summer. 




I love the feeling of having my Dom take control. But it also scares me. There is a part of me he has not touched, I dont think any one has. Its my centre, its where all my deepest worries, self doubts, things I would prefer to keep hidden are. Its also where my deepest loves and passions are. Its more than that, its me. Its all that makes me the person I am, my essence. To give him pieces of my centre is very hard, each time he gets closer to having total power over me. Total power to hurt me, if he chose to do that.


I also have wondered how much I can give him before there is nothting left that is just me. Right now I am a separate entity. I am my own person. To give him control gives some part of me and my freedom to be myself I suppose, away. I also wondered about what I was becoming. If I would still respect myself once I had gone as far as my curiousity and passions want to take me. I nearly stopped finding out more about D/s at that point. But then I realized that I still have that much control over who I am and what I think about myself. I do have some things I will not do, though the list seems to be shrinking. 


Right now I am free again. And, yes, it does feel that way. I miss my IRC Dom but we reached a point where things couldnt go forward any more. I am taking time to think and regroup, reassess everything I have thought and learned. Of course, my life being the collection of oddities that it is, this is also the time I have met a male sub on line who really seems to have the knack for shaking me out of my self possession. Just to make it tougher and more interesting, when he gets back from Japan in 8 days (and counting) we are going to switch! At least I’m not bored! Not that I ever was. 


I don’t think I could sub at all if I was so restricted I couldnt be a “brat” once in awhile. Well, maybe more than once in awhile….. Besides its  *his* job to have/ keep the control. Life is  *so*  full of challenges! I enjoy making him think on his feet. Of course I do stop once I realize he isn’t still laughing. You don’t want to go  *too*  far with a good thing. 


I do have all my own opinions and ideas, which I expect to be taken into account. A Dom who can’t let me breathe will not interest me for long.  I also don’t think my submission would mean anything if I was not my own person. Where is the fun in Domming if its all too easy.


Once in a while however, I feel a need to be able to give up all these pressures and responsibilities for a few hours and to let someone else take all the decisons. As a dominant yourself, you will know that it is hard work being in charge all the time – it is a big responsibility. That is kind of how I feel and perhaps helps to explain the need to be regressed to being “just a naughty little boy” every now and then.


There is also the need for some kind of emotional release – a desire just to let go and follow ones urges or to let out all the tensions and pressures of everyday life. As men, for example, we a taught to be emotionally stable, not to show weakness and to keep control of ourselves at all times. We are never expected to cry or exhibit gentler “feminine” traits. That is why I imagine, for example, that there would be a certain kind of catharsis from being put over a womans knee and soundly spanked until one was able to sob and plead. I don’t actually have any personal experience to go on, and I am quite certain that the spanking itself would be painful and humiliating, but it would certainly be an emotional experience outside of the norm – something which all of us need from time to time.

> .. oh well. I think I’m stuck with the opinion that just too
> > many subs lack creativity – to submit is a special act, but not one that
> takes
> > great imagination. It is the dom who is the artist. Guess that’s why one of
> us
> > is called “artful.”
> > 
> > A complete submissive is indeed a joy to play with and even to spend a lot of
> > time with, but how can they complement a man in the long run? How can they
> > inspire and challenge? 
> ——– REPLY, End of original message ——–


> Dom and sub should compliment, inspire and challenge each other. 

> If the Dom is the artist he has only himself to blame for not exploring the
> full potential of his canvas, his sub. For myself I am not someone who waits
> patiently. I begin my own explorations.  I have met “Doms” who try to restrict
> me. They want to pound their rules, their needs and their demands into me
> before they even know who I am.  Being a sub should feel free. Feeling free a
> sub can then let her imagination go along with her inhibitions. 

Btw, I have decided I am a Switch as far as D/s goes. I might even be leaning to the Domina side. I get a real charge out of Domming my little sub so far away in Hong Kong. He wants to try Domming. I gave him a chance the other night and he was a litte too controlling for me. But its hard to start Domming without some use of force I suppose. Besides I did spring it on him. I was feeling very bratty, hardly Domme like and I told him to do it! LOL Well, more like I dared him to do it. Poor guy never knew what hit him. I didn’t make it at all easy on him for his first time. But he said later that he had fun but he would rather stay as my sub and keep learning from me. 

Alice, When I started I thought I could never find the power in myself to not only do this but enjoy doing it. Now I get a real charge out of it all. Giver yourself some time to find what it is you want. My first submissive was a weird time for me. I also had to ask him what to do and how to do it. I never could feel like I was Domming him. But I broke up with him. I was lucky in that we were only an IRC (Internet) couple. I also see now that I was babying him. He was not a strong male and I not only felt intimidated by the whole Domme thing but I also did not  want to “hurt” him. I felt I was bad everytime I had him do anything. I dont know if you ever feel this way but I thought I would share what I felt.


My current submissive is a strong man who likes to be treated like a mischivious boy. This includes some humiliation. I am lucky that we share the same tastes and limits. I also use a flyswatter on him. I think it is not the spanking but what the swatter means that makes it effective. A real man would  not think being swatted was a problem but I am not treating him like a real man when I use the swatter on him. For me its the mental aspects that matter more than the actualy physical spanking itself. The only other thing I have used is my hand. Though I would like to step up to a paddle, just for the thickness of its look and the sound it will make on his behind.  Start easy Alice, find what gives you that feeling of power over him. You dont need to use all of his ideas and you dont need to feel intimidated by the power you are reaching for either. 


This is not a well thought out or organized letter. I am working on only a few hours of sleep. I suggest you find other Dominas with more experience than I have. but I will be glad to email with you and give you what ever knowledge I have managaed to pick up here and there. Oh! One great idea I did have that I can pass on… if you want to learn about a new aspect of D/s make him do the leg work. Give him the idea (such as CBT) and have him complete a detailed assignment on it with his opinions included. Then you can read it over when you are ready and choose for your self what interests you and what you don’t feel ready to try. This has worked well for me. We are just beginnning in CBT and I have not only a whole list with descriptions but his fears, concerns and fantasies are all right there too. 


Take care Alice, I think I am too tired to read this over. 

All Domination has to have the mental aspect. Why else does the submissive bother to obey the Dom at all. When I use the term mental and sensual I am attempting to screen out those sub males who want to be abused or feminized or any of the other areas of D/s I have not found an interest in. Though I do like the idea of a lot of touching and I have to feel close to a sub in order to want to do more than just give him orders and all the “standard” Domme things. Does this make sense? My style of Domming leaves me free to pamper my sub if I choose to do so. This is for me as much of a turn on as having him pamper me. This does not mean I do not give my subs a little torment if I choose to do so. I very much enjoy the idea of tying up a submissive and leaving him to wonder what I have in mind for him. Perhaps I would tease him until he begged to be given release. Perhaps I would be in the mood to give him harsher treatment such as a swat or twist of sensitive body parts. Perhaps he would be blindfolded and I would crack a whip leaving him to wonder if I will let it touch him or not. I do not think I would whip a sub unless he was very “into” his submission and longed to feel that snap of pain. But the sound of a whip is something I have long liked and associated with my Domme mode.


> It turns out that a switch would be an ideal partner. I adore women (one at a
> time, of course) and have enormous respect for their talents and abilities. It
> would be (COULD be) fun to have the tables turned occasionally! If you write
> back I would like to hear more about this.

I am a recent convert to switching. I have been a Domme and a submissive but neither was enough all the time. I find I prefer to Domme now that I understand what I want in a man who submits. I believe any man can submit but it takes a strong man’s submission to make me feel the real charge and thrill of Domming him. I tend to look for men who also switch now. Too many who are only submissives are wimpy and want to be “forced” to act and dress like a woman. I am surprised more Domina’s don’t find this a touch insulting as I have begun to. I am proud to be a woman and to act like a woman. I have no desire to see a man attempt to be womanly, I find it a turn off for me. When I domme a sub male I like to create the feeling in him that he is under my full control. To have a strong man “helpless” and left to my mercy is what I most enjoy about Domming men. 


When I submit, on the other hand, I find I lose interest in any man who can not make me feel submissive without trying to totally control me. To be too controlled makes me feel too tightly bound and I just can not handle feeling that way for very long. If I can not escape, which is easy on IRC, I get extremely frustrated and angry. My sister likes to be very controlling and I have sometimes lost it when she just would not quit and leave me alone. Thinking about it makes me feel some of that anger again. I still have a mark on my wall where I hit it with a book once when she was really making me crazy. She had decided to make sure I could not have access to my internet account. This caused me to loose out on having an article published as the deadline was that night. Rather than doing bodily harm to her I went down to my basement “office” and smashed inanimate objects. LOL I am probably telling you more about myself than you need to know. But I have always enjoyed the written and spoken word and with the Net I have both in a way.


> How nice to see you posting on the new newsgroup.  I particulary liked your
> story.  I had no idea you had Governess fantasies.  Would you ever think of
> taking them into real life?  I also detected a bit of a feminization theme.  

The Governess idea came from a submissive I met through his post to the newsgroup. I started getting into it because it is a way of play with less force involved. I also find I enjoy the humiliation of a male submissive. That came as a surprise to me. I would do most things I try on the Net in real life, why not really? If you can trust your partner why not give yourself the freedom to try whatever you like. The only thing that would need more trust than usual on my part would be my own submission. That amount of trust would be hard for me to give someone. I think some of the trust involved in submitting comes from inside myself, I have to trust myself and my ideas and feelings as well as the Dom I give my submission to. Maybe that is why I am good at writing from the submissives perspective. I have not written from the Domme’s perspective and I was wondering how I would go about that. So that is going to be my next writing project. I have a couple of other Governess style stories I think I will rework a little and also post to the Newsgroup. I have had a few responses and all favourable so far. Its great to have someone else tell me the stories are good, even well written from Mule who is a frequent story poster to the Group. That was a nice confidence boost for me. 🙂


The feminization I used was just a tease to the submissive I wrote the stories for. It is his sort of heavy limit. It is also a limit for me. I have no desire to pretend to force a man to be a female. I am proud to be a female and to “force” someone to be something I take pride in is somehow insulting to me. I understand it is a kink for a lot of men but its not my kink. Tough to make him wear frilly undies is something I can do as they are very girlish and would be humiliating whether the submissive was male or female.
>

I have also tried things I had no interest in to please a submissive. In the end I, like you, find I really enjoy the submission the acting out of their fantasies brings. That does not mean I would try every fantasy but I am more open minded about fantasies now.


I am a switch and I did find that using the safeword was hard. Not because I didnt have some sense that things had gone too far but because I wanted to know what would happen next in some sense. Have any subs felt this way?  I hope I would not be too deep into subspace or too curious to see what happens next to protect myself if I ever give my submission offline. I am glad I learned on line first. I spared myself a lot of pain from unrealistic and dishonest Doms. There is no better way to learn than from experience, at least for me.


I agree with your point about it not being fair to the Dom to add that responsibility. It is a huge responsibility to Domme. I look for all the information I can find about a new idea before I write about it or suggest it to my submissives. I also ask other experienced submissives if they have done whatever it is and get their feedback. I would not like to Domme a submissive who believes any feedback he gives me is topping from the bottom. Communication is vital. I need to know that we are both getting what we want. After all I get my pleasure from sending him to subspace, if I could do it a better way I want to know.

Yes, submission but not so easily and readily given. I’m not sure I understand it myself. I guess too much submission seems a weakness and that isnt what I want. Not that I want someone who will fight me all the way. I guess I want someone with a little spirit, someone who will challenge me instead of worshipping me. Does that make any sense? LOL

Mentor,


I was pleased to read your thoughts. I also have my inner questions about what I am doing. I grew up as a very typical nice girl. We lived in the suburbs in a very middle class traditional white area. I can remember the full body flush I got the first time I dared to peek at a naked man in a magazine from the store rack. My first orgasm was a total mystery to me and I was very afraid of whatever it was. It took me a long time before I allowed myself to see it through and find out what mysterious thing this was my body wanted to do. I dont know if men go through anything similar with their first orgasm. 


You may wonder why I am writing this to someone I know casually. I find I am very open to discuss sexual things (most at least). But as you say, in person face to face and skin to skin is a lot different than an email letter or an IRC chat. 


Anyway, I have wandered off from my original point. I grew up the model of the nice girl, no drugs (ever) I tried smoking but didnt find it interesting enough to bother with, and I never went through a boy crazy period. But I did like to read about women being captured and taken away for a long and lusty seduction. I read a lot of historical romances. The woman I was becoming thought the age of 30 was old but the girl who read the romances thought 30 was a man who knew a woman inside and out and could give her everything she desired. Of course, the girl was reading too many romances. Luckily I had the emerging woman to keep my head on straight. 


Buth the biggest question I am left with now as I explore D/s and all that goes along with it is: Am I losing the nice girl I am and respect in myself? Sure part of it is that I dont want others like family and people I meet to think Im not a nice girl. But my inner self is changing. I am not the naive young woman I started out as a year ago when I was new to the Net. I worry that I am going to far and I will find myself changed more than I want to be. I wonder if I will be able to like myself. For awhile I thought I had answered this question to myself. I realized that I am still the same nice girl inside. I thought I would know when and where to stop myself, to set my limits as you would say in bdsm lingo. But now I am wondering again. 


Just this week I met another man on line who very much interests me. I had to just last night admit/ tell him that I am into bondage, at least the idea as I have no real experience yet. Doing this made me feel vulnerable to the acceptance of others again. It brought back all the questions. Am I still a nice girl if I like to be tied up or tie up a man and make him beg for sexual release for no reason other than it turns me on? I dont know the answer to my question. It may never be answered for sure and for ever. 


I identified with some of what you wrote about the fem subs you have encountered. That again brings up all my questions about whether I am a submissive too scared of her feelings to allow myself to submit. Or am I really a Domme who is not bold enough to go all the way and so falls back on the excuse of being a switch. Those are questions that I am working on answering. Just like yourself, I am the only one who can give myself answers to those questions.  I wish you good luck in finding your own answers. When your Ironwill site is back up I hope you will send me the URL. I would like to see it. 

Making Men Blush

Originally posted to Adult BackWash: Thursday May 08, 2003  

Men are cute when they blush. Unless your man is very jaded, you can have fun making him blush, using humiliation. It is not meant as abuse however. So, know what you have to work with and what needs to be avoided. Keep it light and remember there is life after your fun, don’t leave him with something he can’t explain at work the next day. (Unless that’s what he likes).

Most men get fidgety about things like women’s periods, girly things, and so on. Make a list of things you know will bother him. How about being exposed, even if it’s not likely anyone can see him. Think of it, a tall building surrounded by shorter buildings and him standing naked in the window. Would he get butterflies?

There is a lot of humiliation in age play scenarios. I wrote some of my own ideas in my erotica for Chris. Things like taking him to a restaurant and making him order from the kids menu, wear a bib and ask for the crayons and activity sheet usually given to children.

Another thing to keep in mind is how your scheme for him affects others. Public nudity might seem great fun while you’re in the planning stages but it’s indecent exposure if there are other people around who don’t feel quite the same way you do about it. Plan, think and scheme and you can make your best ideas work.

I personally don’t like forced feminism, though that is a popular humiliation. I just don’t think it’s very complimentary to us, the real women.

Need more ideas? Keep him nude all evening while you remain dressed, doing everything as usual. Have him acting as your footrest for the evening. Send him to the store for the big box of maxi pads, flowery underwear (in his size), cosmetics, or scented bubble bath. Have him join and graduate from a sewing class. Make him take a map into a gas station and ask for directions. Whatever works.

Vocal Restraints

Originally posted to Adult BackWash: Tuesday June 22, 2004

Cruising around, looking at useless stuff today and I came across the words “vocal restraints” in a personal fetish profile. Awesome! One of those things that makes me step back and sigh with pleasure, just imagining the possibilities of vocal restraints.

Of course I had to search for more of it, find out if the reality holds up to my concept of it. I found some really weird stuff. Beyond anything I’d imagined. Check out the link for China Doll. Pretty… interesting.

I prefer my version. Vocal restraints not being a gag but the use of the voice to control. But, that takes a commanding presence among other things. Maybe the gag version of the vocal restraint is more to the liking of the fast food sort of BDSM. It’s easier, for sure.

But, why go for the easy way out?

Why not give your sub a command and expect it to be obeyed? It’s what he says he wants, right?

Or does he… does he long for the time you will slip up and he can regain his freedom. Silly man.

The whole attraction of D/s to me is the control, the mind games. I like being in charge, knowing he is liking it too. Of course, he can’t make it seem too easy, let me think he is liking it too much. Then I’d have to make it just a bit harder (literally) and a bit more challenging for both of us. Soft and nice has it’s place, it can be part of Domming. Just think of soft and nice right before the axe falls. From tender to extreme is pretty effective.

That doesn’t mean non-physical restraints need to give way to hard core bondage restraints. It just means I need to crack down and make sure he remembers which of us has the remote control and which is the innocent bystander. Speaking of remote controls… oh never mind, I’ll save that for another column.

Soon I will find the little man I’ve wanted to torment for so long. It will be a lot of fun for both of us, but mostly for me. I have so many ideas along the lines of objectification, domestic discipline, humiliation and vocal restraints now too.

Bedsport

Bedsport
Originally posted to Adult BackWash: Saturday November 23, 2002

Imagine if you will…. a hunky man (muscles, handsome, tall) naked and awaiting your orders. What’s your whim? Would you have him clean your windows first or after the bedsport?

Bedsport is a delicious word. It’s full of flirting, romping and adventure. Bedsport is daring. Why would you sleep with a man when you could be sporting him.

Back to the naked man. First of all, there is no option of forced feminization. I want a manly man not something in a dress pretending. Besides, a manly man is so much more fun to tease than someone begging for it.

That’s why I like humiliation as part of the whole bedsport experience. Ever seen a real manly man blush? It’s so sexy, makes me want to reach out and lick him. Just a little taste, maybe a nibble. A caress in that really sensitive area. Just enough so he makes that little sound. A tiny whimper, a gasp, all delicious.

I’d like to tie that manly man up in the door frame. The bed is traditional but it’s limited access. Wouldn’t you rather see ALL that skin, be able to trail your fingers over it and watch him squirm? Caress any part of him you wanted to. Rake your fingernails over his belly, lightly or a little sharp if you get into marking your territory. Explore and experiment all over his body. After all, it’s yours for the taking.

Can you see him? His muscular curves jumping at your lightest touch, barest whisper? Watch his face change as you tease him. Decide what you want to do with him next. Should it be a slap on the butt or a kiss on the lips? Does he like it, or is he just a teensy bit worried that he might not really have any control at all?

An hour later, would he still think bedsport was an amusing word?

Shop Boy

Shop Boy
Originally posted to Bait and Switch, my weekly column at Adult BackWash: Sunday June 23, 2002

“You put on quite a show last night, Chris.” His Governess was standing at the foot of the bed, already dressed.

“That Mistress was quite upset by the time you finished your little comedy routine. It was very rude of you, Chris. You made a lot of people angry, including me.”

Chris winced, remembering pieces of last night. “I’m sorry.” He pulled the sheet down from his face and looked at her for the first time. It didn’t look good. She was still angry, her lips pressed tightly together. In fact she was very angry for someone who seldom became angry. The fog clouding his mind began to clear as the need for self preservation drifted in.

“This morning you are going to her shop to apologize. It had better be your best performance ever. Much better than the one you put on last night. Get dressed now. You still have time to make my coffee before we leave.”

Her jeans clung to the curves of her bottom, showing what a really great ass she had. Watching her in those jeans did more to wake him up than anything else could. He pulled himself out of bed as soon as she was out the door. Chris rushed through his bathroom routine. He made sure to brush his teeth extra well; he wanted to take advantage of any possible kissing opportunity.

In the kitchen she had begun making the coffee herself. That was a bad sign, she was impatient. He stood at the counter ready to take over but she ignored him and poured the cream into her cup herself. When the coffee brewed she poured her own cup and took it to the table. Since she was ignoring him Chris decided to watch her till she took notice of him. The red sweater she wore was short, casually revealing her great figure. Long chestnut hair curled down past her shoulders, not quite to her waist. She had gone with the bare minimum of makeup, as she usually did. She was still a pocket Venus, just 5ft 4 inches, but a very soft, sensual looking woman.

Now she was looking at him. Her blue eyes focused right on his face, she said, “Bet you didn’t know the lady you ridiculed last night owns her own adult store. Last night we decided you would be punished there. It’s a really good idea, interesting too. I’m debating telling you now or just letting it be a surprise.”

“Do you think she will listen to my apology? I don’t know what got me started last night. You know I wouldn’t normally say any of that stuff. I’m really sorry I hurt her.”

“You can try. That won’t save you from being punished. We decided you should be just as publicly embarrassed as she was. But I think I will let her tell you the details.” She smiled.

Chris felt butterflies swarm in his stomach. Public embarrassment was something he dreaded. It was also his Governess’ favourite punishment. He tried to smile, as if he had all the confidence in the world and this was just one of lifes little adventures. After all, he had lived through her last big punishment. Not that it had been easy to carry two bulky packages of maxi pads around the grocery store for an hour. He wasn’t even allowed to cheat with a basket or a cart. Still, it hadn’t been as bad as he thought it would be.

“I’m ready. Let’s go.” She put her cup in the sink, picked up her purse and walked out of the kitchen. Chris followed obediently.

They walked to the store. It should have been a pleasant walk, the sun was warm, and not a cloud in the sky. But Governess was stonily silent. He followed her, all the way down to the New Age area of town. He thought of it that way, though there was no sign proclaiming it. The stores here were selling crystals, karma readings, health food and the occasional kinky shop just to keep it from being too goodie goodie.

Chris knew she had been here before. She was into all that sort of Pagan stuff. He noticed a couple of stores she had bought books from; he recognized their logos. Right between a trendy bookstore and a health food supplier she stopped. The door on this store had a very fancy painted logo. It was called “The Love Bug”. Sounded cute till you looked in the window and saw leatherwear, restraints and assorted gear on the floor and sides of the window. The window itself looked fairly bare. Nothing to really attract the eye.

His Governess stood at the door, waiting to be let in by the plump Mistress Chris had been such an ass to last night. She didn’t look at him but began chatting to his Governess right away. “Glad you came a bit early. We will have time to arrange everything before shoppers start browsing by on the street.”

“Chris would like to apologize before we begin. If you are willing to hear him.” His Governess put her hand inside the front of his jeans and pulled him forward.

“I don’t feel like listening to him. Not until afterwards when he might really be sincere.”

“All right. Chris this is Mistress Jasmine. I doubt you caught her name last night. Before we start you better find the bathroom and make use of it, you won’t get another chance for awhile.”

She turned away from him and chatted about some of the equipment in the store. Chris left to find a bathroom. When he came back they were still chatting but now Governess held a mask in her hands. They seemed to be arguing about it. Not a full blown sort of thing, more like bargaining. When they noticed him approaching Mistress Jasmine looked at him for the first time and said. “Take off all your clothes and leave them neatly folded on the counter. Your Governess is determined to allow you to wear a mask, to hide your face. But I can assure you not much else will be hidden.”

Chris blushed; truly embarrassed to take off his clothes in front of this stranger, especially one he had no desire for at all. Mistress Jasmine was plump, to be nice. Actually she was more than chubby. Not that he had a problem with nicely rounded women. Just that Mistress Jasmine wasn’t nicely rounded, she looked sloppy. She wore baggy clothes and too much jewelry and makeup. Mistress Jasmine actually looked dowdy, if a FemDom could be called such a thing.

“What are you waiting for?” Her voice grated on his ears. Looking at his Governess he knew there was no sympathy there. She looked at him, smiling in that cat that ate the canary way. At least one of them was looking forward to this.

He pulled off his shirt and folded in neatly. Next his jeans. After those were folded he hesitated. Only his underwear stood between himself and full nudity. Dare he ask if this was enough?

Before he could even look up Mistress Jasmine gave him a stinging slap across his ass. Chris jumped. His Governess took hold of his chin to steady his face while she pulled the thick black mask over his head. There was space for him to breathe and two more spaces for his eyes. Each had zippers, with another big zipper behind to firmly encase his head. Once it was zipped he felt suffocated. Without thought he grabbed his Governess’ wrists. She must have expected his panic; she stroked his arm and held his hand a few moments.

Mistress Jasmine meanwhile had gotten a pair of scissors and was cutting his underwear, making a big incision along his hip and ripping them off the rest of the way. Now Chris felt a real sense of panic. He was fully nude. His cock however, didn’t seem to mind. While his mind spun in fear his cock was growing and beginning to stand to attention.

“The mask is only to hide your face. This isn’t a scene party and I knew you would not want someone from your office to stroll by and see you. Just breathe normally and be a good boy.” Governess stroked his ass cheeks while she spoke. “Now Chris, you are going to have to lean over the counter and just relax for me. Open your legs nice and wide for me.”

“No!” Chris’s protest came out muffled.

“Shut up slut!” Mistress Jasmine spat. Obviously enjoying this far too much.

His Governess slapped his ass. “No talking Chris.” She reached around and zipped up the mouth of the mask. Chris discovered it was a tight fit, he could not open his jaw. When he tried to speak it was very garbled.

“Let me get out the rest of his surprise. You can play around with his ass awhile, just make sure the dildo penetrates all the way, nice and firm. I’ve got a very nice harness to make sure it stays in good and deep all day.” Mistress Jasmine chuckled and left the storefront.

“OK Chris, this is going to stretch you a bit. Its bigger than the butt plug we have used a few times. I want you to bend your knees slightly, open your legs nice and wide and relax. Let it just slip inside you.” Chris felt his chest tighten. Surely this would end now. She couldn’t really mean to go along with all of this. He could see her lubricating what seemed to be the biggest dildo he had ever seen. Not that he had looked at a lot. He watched her rubbing the smooth shaft up and down, and over the head. His cock hardened. Traitorous beast, he thought.

The greased tip of the dildo brushed his thigh while she used one hand to open his cheeks. He tried not to clench them. All too soon the head of the dildo was pressing gently at his exposed hole. She pressed it inside, letting it slip in very gradually. So far it wasn’t too bad.

“Good boy Chris, lean over the counter a bit more, that’s good. Very good. Just let it slip right in. Good.” The dildo stopped its progress when it got to his tight inner muscles. Chris was breathingly heavily, the mask making it almost impossible to draw in enough air.

“You are doing very well Chris, just relax and let it enter you. Almost finished with the hard part.” She pressed a bit harder but Chris just couldn’t fully relax and let himself be penetrated. So she pushed harder, pushing his body into the counter as the dildo fully penetrated his ass and filled him more than he thought possible. She held it in, not letting it slip out though he could feel his muscles protesting the invasion and trying to expel it. Governess unzipped the mask’s mouth and he was at last able to catch his breath.

“Good boy my little Chris.” She leaned over his back and placed soft kisses there. The dildo remained firmly lodged. Not pleasant by any means but not like he was being split in half. How was he going to bear a day of this. Would some of the people know he was not only a window display but being abused by some of the merchandise?

Mistress Jasmine was, of course, back too soon. Working around his Governess she pulled a harness over his chest, between his legs and up his back. She made sure to tighten the strap to the point of nearly unmanning him. Reaching between his legs, she pulled his cock and balls out between a hole in the straps. The dildo was now firmly held inside him. Governess had moved off to the side to watch.

“I’ve never thought of putting you in a leather harness Chris. It’s actually quite fetching.”

“If he’s a really good boy I’ll let you take this one home with you.” Mistress Jasmine said, smacking him hard on his exposed ass cheeks. The smack pushed the dildo in farther. Chris squirmed. “Do you see how the dildo is attached here, this keeps it from going in any deeper. You can do whatever you want to him without worrying about a very painfully embarrassing trip to the hospital” She smacked him again, Chris thought she was being far too spiteful.

“What have you got for him to wear over his cock? I doubt he can display that in your window.” Governess grinned.

“Not with an erection like that. Besides there is no way he could keep it up all day, all eight hours of the day. Soon he won’t be thinking about his hard little head, just his big soft one up on top. It gets pretty warm in that window. Hopefully one of us will remember to water him sometime in the afternoon.”

Mistress Jasmine shook out a small plastic bag. It appeared to be empty; one of the shopping bags with her shop logo on it. To his surprise she wrapped his cock and balls up in it and tied it tightly around the base of his cock. She smoothed the bag out, displaying her store logo on his privates. Chris felt humiliation bloom in his cheeks. Surely his Governess wouldn’t let this happen to him. This was just far too much humiliation.

Governess laughed, “That will work.”

“OK slut, climb in here.” Mistress Jasmine opened a small door at the back of her display window. “Hold onto the hooks in the wall, keep holding them. Put your feet on the tape marks, spread em a bit more.” She smacked his inner thighs, the surprise pain making his ass clench the dildo and firmly remind him of the invasion. “That’s pretty good. You are such a pretty boy. Nice blue eyes too. Make sure you look at some of the people, let them know you are a real live dummy.” She laughed; her laugh was really beginning to bug him. His hands were locked into cuffs attached to the hooks. This left him with his arms extended out to the window, welcoming shoppers and gawkers into the store. She duct taped his feet to the floor. With the dildo fully invading his ass he really had limited movement.

“Now slut, before I leave you to your punishment, there is one final little thing your nice Governess doesn’t know about.” From a pocket she pulled out a remote control. It only had three buttons. They were marked: On, Off and Random. Chris shivered in sudden terror. “Did you guess? Let me demonstrate just in case.” She flicked the “on” button. Immediately the dildo began to vibrate in his ass. The base shifted and began a slow and steady pumping action, pushing itself deeper, then drawing out only to push in again. Chris twisted around, begging her with his eyes.

“Your puppy dog look won’t work with me little slut. But if you ever want a real Mistress to whip you into shape, you can come to me. That nice little Governess of yours is far too soft on you.” She cackled on her way out. Leaving Chris to his torment in the show room window.

A Cure for Cursing

A Cure for Cursing: Originally published on Adult BackWash,  May 08, 2002  

tom was tired and hungry, the day had been cold and wet. He spent most of it outside in line to get the theatre tickets his Governess had requested. Now all he wanted was a hot shower, dinner and a snuggle of appreciation from her sometime before bed. She might even have dinner ready for him tonight. No matter how submissive he became he still liked some of the dominant “cave man” ways. Walking in and smelling dinner waiting gave him that feeling of coming home to relax after work.

He was taking off his rain soaked coat when his Governess came out, not from the kitchen as he had hoped but from her office in the spare room. “Did you get the tickets tom?”

Not even a hello first, tom grumbled to himself, “I got them.” He held them out to her, noticing for the first time their slightly soggy texture. One was so damp it folded over limply on his hand. He frowned at the tickets, “I’m sure they will be fine once we dry them a bit. Its really wet outside.”

“You let them get wet? I hope the ink hasn’t run.” She said.

tom looked at them and realized the dates and seating stamped on the tickets had run and were now an unreadable blur, “Shit!” He exclaimed.

“What did you say tom?” Her eyes snapped to his face, her mouth thinned in anger.

“It just slipped out. I’m sorry, can’t we just let it go this one time?” pleaded tom, his head lowered in a submissive posture.

“No tom, not this time or any other time. ” His Governess walked away, leaving him holding the tickets and wondering what he was in for now. He doubted dinner and a cuddle were coming his way any time soon.

He stood in his wet coat for awhile then decided she wouldn’t really expect him to stand there and catch a cold like an idiot. In the bedroom he took off everything and hung up his coat and suit to dry. The rest was dumped into the laundry basket in the bathroom. He looked to see if he was still on his own and then turned on the shower and stepped in. It was a fast shower, just in case his Governess should decide to deprive him. tom knew she was more than just annoyed. It was one of the few things she found really offensive and though most people wouldn’t have even noticed the odd curse she always did.

tom dried off and went into the bedroom to find something to put on. She was there ahead of him. She held his slave outfit. It was hardly an outfit really, just some skimpy underwear. She had made him buy them last Christmas . In the front of the underwear was a long Christmas stocking into which his cock was meant to be stuffed. Under the stocking were Christmas presents which held his balls. tom groaned to himself but took them from her hand and pulled them on to the tops of his legs. He knew he was to wait for her to adjust him into the stocking and presents.

She took his balls first, pulled the pants up around his hips then lowered his balls into the correct position. To stuff his cock into the stocking she needed to pull the panties away from his hips and then slowly work the fabric down the shaft of his cock. Once his cock was inside to her satisfaction she pulled the panties up his hips, smoothing them over his bottom and sliding a finger around the leg holes.

tom was beginning to feel chilly after his shower. “May I wear my robe Lady? I don’t want to catch a cold. I had to wait in the rain for the tickets and I was rained on again coming home.” tom asked.

“Not yet, you will put yourself across my knees first.” She opened the “toy drawer” and brought out the thick wooden paddle. “Pick a number between five and ten tom.”

“Do we really have to do this. I’m not in the mood to play really. It’s been a wet and miserable day and I just want to have dinner and go to bed.” tom said, impatiently.

“It’s all your game tom. You wanted to play. The only problem is that the rules are all mine. Now bring the chair out from the corner like a good little boy.” She answered him, a tiny wicked smile on her lips.

“Fine!” Grumbled tom, settling the chair by the foot of the bed as he knew she expected. “Five then. So I get twenty smacks with the paddle cause there were four letters in the word I used and five times four is twenty.”

“Very good tommy.” She sat in the chair, her thighs slightly apart, ready to take his weight. “I’m ready. Get into the position tommy.” At his reluctance she instructed, “The sooner we start the sooner we finish.”

tom stretched his 6’3 body over his smaller Governess. Part of the humiliation of being spanked was in being held by a woman who was only 5’5. The first few times he had been worried about putting too much of his weight on her. But after a couple of long and hard spanking sessions he soon forgot her discomfort during his own greater discomfort. She took his cock and closed her thighs around it, squeezing and teasing him. His panties were pulled down in back and settled under the cheeks of his bottom.

tom grunted in surprise. Her little teasing always made the first smack a jolt for tom. With each smack his body would bounce on her knees and his cock would pull between her thighs. The rubbing made each attack on his ass a pleasure for his cock. If she allowed him to orgasm spanking would be something he could look forward to. But of course a spanking was not given for his pleasure rather it was for his discipline and being deprived of orgasm was part of it.

The next one came down harder and landed just under the curve of his cheeks, the more sensitive area. “Two” said tom.

She was only at six when tom began to feel the urge to pump his cock between her firmly gripping thighs. If not for the fabric of the panties his cock would be sliding more than rubbing between her legs from the precum. Of course she knew this and the next smacks came in rapid succession to help him bring his mind back to the discipline being administered to his bottom.

“Eleven, Governess” counted tom.

“I think you added one tom, we are only at ten by my count.” She smacked him twice, “Now you may continue your count from ten.”

“Thank you, Governess.”

She paused at seventeen. “Lets try something a little new tommy.” Her hand moved from his back to his bottom cheeks, she held them open and put the paddle on his ass. “The paddle is too big, but we will try it next time with the spoon.” The last smacks were hard and she took her time, gathering her strength for each one. Each landed on different parts of his bottom the side of his left cheek, right on the crack of his bottom and just under the right cheek by the top of his leg.

“Twenty”, tom grunted.

“Get up.” tom stood. She examined his bottom, getting the cream and smoothing it over his cheeks. tom sighed as some of the burning feeling left, not enough to make him feel relief, just enough to make it bearable. “You may get your robe and then tidy the room.”

She had gone when he turned around with his robe. He looked at the bed and for a moment was tempted to crawl into it. But that wouldn’t be part of her plans and anyway he still had some hope of having dinner. He sighed. His hand was on the door when he realized she had left his slave collar and leash on the door knob. He put them on before leaving the room. The robe which was a rich green colour and very thick and long made him feel like an old king or at least some actor of olde. It was an interesting contrast to wear the slave panties, collar and leash with it.

She had been wearing her own robe. It was a deep, rich red also full and long. She had sewn it herself just so it would be exactly what she wanted. She had made his too but it was a little different. His had a hood which could close around his whole face if she chose to do so. Inside the sleeves were extra ties which could be pulled out to restrict his arms something like a straight jacket idea. The only other unique feature was at the bottom , all along his hem and up to his chin, was a zipper. When she zipped him up his legs were caught inside. This always reminded him of a baby’s snowsuit, whatever they called those bag like things. Wearing it zippered made him feel foolish, as if he was trapped in a paper bag and couldn’t fight his way out.

Eventually tom was out of excuses to stay in the bedroom. He could hear her out there, plotting. He found her lurking in the kitchen, ready for him.

“Open your mouth tom.” She squirted dish washing soap into his mouth. “Do not swallow that until I allow you to. For the rest of this night at least you will not have control over your mouth. You will not speak, you will not bite or chew your food without permission, you will not yawn, sigh, laugh or open your mouth to so much as breathe without my approval. Nod if you understand.”

tom nodded. The soap in his mouth was making him want to gag. It seemed to reach into the back of his throat and sting, making him feel desparate to produce more spit and get rid of it. His mouth began to fill with spit as the soap taste triggered more and more of it. He tried to use the spit to get the taste of soap from settling in on his tongue. His swishing made her perk an eyebrow. He understood this was using his mouth against her wishes and he forced himself to stop in hopes that co-operation would end the torment sooner.

Taking his leash she led him into the kitchen. “Spit into the sink, you will not rinse your mouth out.” When he finished he was led to the kitchen counter. She tied his leash off to one of the drawer knobs near the fridge. “Make the salad. You can reach everything from where you are.”

She left the kitchen. tom waited a few seconds then tried to reach the sink. The leash was keeping him just out of reach. He was desparate for some water , anything liquid to get the soap out of his mouth. It tasted awful. Most of all he knew anything he was allowed to eat would be spoiled by it. If he wasn’t so hungry he could have skipped dinner and just gone to bed. Not that he would be allowed to do that when his Governess had some new and creative idea in the works for his benefit. He held back a sigh, just in case she was listening.

“I have ordered Chinese tom.” She called from the living room, “When the salad is ready you may sit on the floor and wait to be brought in for dinner .”

tom made the salad. The lettuce and vegetable had already been washed, giving him no excuse to get closer to the sink and water. When he was finished he sat on the floor, waiting.

He heard the doorbell. Moments later she came in the kitchen, took a coke from the fridge, and set it on the counter within his reach. For a moment he thought she was going to leave it there for him. But she only brought out a glass filled it with ice cubes and let him watch while she poured in the coke. Of course she didnt even leave the empty can in case he might manage to get a few drops of coke.

“You seem a little angry tonight tom. Perhaps you need some stress relief.” She laughed wickedly. “I still have that feather duster. I could dust your bottom and balls again.” She pulled on his leash and tom stood up. “Would that make you feel better little man?” Her hand reached inside the robe, pulling his panties down in back. She stroked his cheeks, allowing a finger to slide into his crack and stroke him a little deeper.

tom moaned with pleasure at her touch. It was a mistake. She pinched his bottom hard, “You have no permission to use your mouth little man, don’t do it again.” Her hands slid around to his front playing with the Christmas stocking and presents. She tormented him, daring him to make any noise while her fingers rubbed his shaft and smoothed over his balls. tom was clutching the edge of the counter and breathing raggedly somehow managing to remain silent while she toyed with him.

“How lovely and well stuffed your stocking is little man. But I bet I can make it harder still.” She opened his robe in front and rubbed her fingers over his nipple, creating tight little buds. tom had to bite his tongue to hold in a whimper. Between her thumb and fingers she rolled his nipple, gently squeezing it now and then. Then she leaned in, pressed her face into the side of his neck and scraped her teeth along his skin until her jaw closed and she was biting him. tom held on to the counter, desperately trying not to let any sound escape.

Laughing at his torment, she released him and adjusted his panties, “Bring plates, dinner is here.”

A Clean Movie

A Clean Movie: Originally posted to Adult BackWash, April 24, 2002.

“Did you make the list little chris?”

“Yes, its right here.”

“I better check and make sure you haven’t forgotten anything. You did remember to write maxi pads and laundry soap on the list didnt you?” asked little chris’s Governess with a wicked look in her eye. little chris knew how much she liked to make him buy her maxi pads. Even writting it on the list made him blush and feel very uncomfortable.

“Drink your milk like a good little boy while I look at your list.” She swatted his bottom on her way to the counter. “Don’t leave all these dishes unwashed before we go either.” She sat down, putting her feet up on his chair so little chris was left standing with his milk. “As cute as you look in your underpanties you better think of something else to wear to the store .” She grinned.

This made little chris take another look at his Governess in her own short cotton nightgown with nothing under it to block his view. His breathing got a little faster and he made himself turn away and start the dishes before she teased him about his arousal.

He blushed when he heard her laugh softly. He sighed, looked at her over his shoulder and she winked back at him, still laughing. Her laugh and teasing look increased little chris’s bulging problem.

“Governess, I might need some of your extra attention before we go out this morning.” asked little chris.

“You might not get it little man.” She teased. She stood up and brought him her empty coffee cup to add to the sink of dishes. “How good can you be?” She whispered as she rubbbed his back. Dropping her hand to his bottom she cupped his cheek and pressed her hand firmly into his body. Her other hand came around and stroked his belly. little chris groaned as her fingers found their way inside his panties and rubbed against his stiffening cock. “Mmmmmm my little boy wants some play time does he?” She giggled and withdrew her hands. With a sharp smack on his cheek she headed into the bedroom. “Dishes first little man.”

little chris turned just in time to see her pull her nightie off over her head as she entered the bedroom. The last thing he saw were her saucy bottom cheeks as she walked past the door. little chris wondered how fast he could wash the dishes!

In the bedroom he was very disappointed to see his Governess dressed and waiting for him with his wardrobe for the day. He really had hoped she would be undressed and waiting in his bed. She came to stand in front of him, looked at his erection and shook her finger at him, “You have been having naughty thoughts again haven’t you little man? I dont have time to properly punish you this morning. So you will just have to have a quick spanking. Stand with your back straight against the wall.”

little chris did as he was told but was very confused about how he would be spanked with his bottom safely to the wall. She didnt hesitate, she pulled his panties down over his erect cock and let them fall down his legs to be caught at his ankles. Then she used her hand to smack his cock. Not hard enough to be truly painful but it did catch little chris’s full attention. She smacked him about 6 times before his cock was limp and soft. She ordered him to step out of his panties. From his bad boy drawer she brought out the dreaded pink frilly little girl style panties. “Put these on.”

Inside his mind little chris cringed. How he hated being made to wear those! The lace in back and around the legs and waist would show as bumps through his pants when he was dressed. People would notice and look at him oddly all day long. “Please Governess not those ones, please?” little chris pleaded.

“Put them on now!”

“Please, any other pair you choose, but not those ones…”

“chris!” she snapped at him. “It wasnt a request!” She shoved them into his hands. “Now, put them on! Do I have to put them on you?”

little chris hesitated and she took two quick steps to him and smacked his balls this time. As he was bent over in pain she ordered him to lift his left foot. His foot was slapped when he didn’t obey right away. Then frilly panties were pushed over his foot and pulled up his calf. “Other foot now baby chrissy.” His other foot was soon in the leg of the panties and she pulled them slowly up his legs. When they were pulled to just under his bottom cheeks in back and just under his cock and balls in front she left them, snug against him, but not pulled any higher.

“You will wear them just like that all day now.” little chris looked at her with a horrified look on his face. She ignored him and walked over to choose the rest of his clothes.

Out on the street, walking to the grocery store, little chris was aware of people looking at him. His Governess would grin cheekily and tell him he was just imagining it. But chris knew she was kidding. chris knew he was being given strange looks. How often did anyone see a grown man wearing short shorts and a T shirt with a cartoon dragon on it. The worst part was how the frilly panties showed through at the bottom of the shorts. chris tried to just pretend he was wearing something normal and dignified but every person he passed made him very aware of his state of dress. Perhaps if he had been a smaller man he could have gone at least a little less noticed. But being over 6 feet certainly had its draw backs at times like this.

“Get a cart for us little man. I want to be home in time for the Sunday afternoon movie today. It’s going to be Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, you know how much I like you to see those nice children’s shows.” His Governess hurried him along inside the grocery store, pulling the list from his back pocket.

chris took the list as she handed it to him. “Make sure you get everything on the list. I have one or two things to get done while you are shopping here and then I will meet you at the coffee shop on the corner. Don’t dawdle little man.”

chris watched her walk off with a last wave and smile to him. He knew she had some idea she wanted to try on him this afternoon. It seemed he wasn’t going to be given a chance to find out what it was ahead of time. It didn’t take long to finish the grocery shopping, especially when one wanted to get done and out of the store as quickly as one possibly could. He heard children asking their parents if he was a weirdo. But that only increased his determination to hurry. He almost “forgot” her maxi pads thinking he could use his humiliation and rush to finish shopping as an excuse. Before he left the aisle he had put them in the cart, knowing his Governess wasn’t likely to fall for that. Besides if she was getting “creative” this afternoon he would be smart to keep in her good graces.

He was finished ahead of her and had to wait, carrying all the bags of groceries. His Governess had a rule about not allowing the bags to sit on the sidewalk. The bags began to get heavier and heavier as he waited. His hands were staying closed around the handles by will alone and his arms and shoulders were a massive aching agony. Finally she came around the corner with a small bag from the local toy store and another from the book store. She smiled and gave him a kiss when she was close enough.

“Lets give you a rest my good little boy. I’m certainly ready for a coffee.” She entered the shop ahead of him and waved him to a table. She let him sit down and arrange the bags of groceries before she asked for the change from the grocery store and went to get coffee.

Little chris was very pleased to rest. He hoped she wouldn’t hurry them off too soon. He really needed to give his arms a chance to snap back before he carried everything back to his place. It was quite a few blocks away as his Governess didn’t like the local, closer grocery store.

Governess placed a large coffee and a chocolate chip cookie in front of chris. “I thought you deserved a treat little man. You had to wait for me and you were so good to hold onto the bags all that time. I could see you from the book store as I was looking around and waiting at the cashier. You should have seen the interesting books the woman in line ahead of me had. I looked over her shoulder and we got to chatting. Anyway, that is how I was a little pokey getting back to meet you.”

“My arms are a little tired, maybe we could linger here for a little while before we make the trek back to my place?” asked chris.

“Well, not for very long chris. I do have plans for you this afternoon. We need to be back in time for the movie and a few things I want to do before it starts. But I think we can sit here for 20 minutes, I don’t want to strain my little man.” She smiled at him softly. “You know how special you are to me and I do want to take very good care of you.” His Governess sipped her coffee, smiling at chris over the rim of the cup.

chris picked up the cookie and took a bite. Unfortunately a large piece crumbled off and landed on his lap and the floor. “Oh chris!”, scolded his Governess. “I think we should have gotten you a bib. Hurry and get a cloth from the waitress and clean that up.”

chris stood, got napkins from the counter and cleaned the cookie bits from the floor. Just as he was about to rise and deposit the mess in the garbage his Governess gave his bottom a hard smack under the table. “I told you to get a cloth from the waitress not a napkin chris.”

“Sorry Governess, I thought this way would be quicker and easier.” chris said as he looked up at her from his position under the table.

“I didn’t ask your opinion chris.” His Governess rose from her seat, leaving him there, not sure if he should get up or stay as he was.

She asked the waitress for a cloth and another cookie. When they were brought she placed the cookie on the table and handed chris the cloth. “Now get that cleaned up as I asked chris.” She left him and went back to speak to the waitress. chris didn’t watch as he quickly cleaned the mess and put the crumled cookie and napkins in the trash. He looked for the waitress to return the cloth to her. He didn’t see her.

chris waited by the counter. Not wanting to do anything else his Governess could object to he gave the cloth to another waitress as she passed by. He turned around to go back to the table and groaned out loud. His Governess was being given a large children’s bib by the waitress. Both were looking at him and laughing, though he wasn’t sure if the waitress was laughing at him or more with his Governess.

“Maybe you should bring him one of those children’s place mats and some crayons too. He needs something to keep his little hands busy while I finish my coffee.”

Little chris groaned again quietly. He wondered if he could change his mind about lingering over coffee. He prepared to ask her just that but she was already grinning at him wickedly and shaking her head “no”.

In the end little chris drew some lovely pictures for his Governess. She really did admire his ability to draw. Some of her suggestions were a little “suggestive”. A few people had looked twice when she told him to draw a pair of snow people skinny dipping. But it was fun for chris to please her in this way. She kept his drawings, tucking them in her purse as they got ready to leave.

“No dawdling now little man. The movie starts in half an hour.” The walk back wasn’t as painful as the walk to the stores had been. Fewer people were out this close to the lunch hour. Whoever watched him from inside was unknown to him and that suited chris just fine.

“Get those groceries put away and then bring out that big old laundry tub we found a few weeks ago. Fill it about a third of the way with hot water, don’t add anything to it.” She disappeared into the bedroom.

chris did as she asked, putting the kettle on to boil some water to add to the hot water from the tap. When the groceries were all away and the water ready he called out to her, “What would you like me to do with the tub and water now, Governess?”

She popped her head around the door and said, “Put newspaper under and around it and then have it by the television so we can watch the movie. I will be out in a couple of minutes. You can also get that metal cup, the one I found in that thrift shop.”

Little chris was able to carry the laundry tub into the room just as his Governess came out from the bedroom. He stood still a few moments, admiring her change of clothes, “You didn’t get that at the toy store or the book store today.”

She wore a red satin slip dress, with no sleeves and a large slit up the right leg. It was a shiny, cherry red with just a touch of lace at the hem and top. The top was fitted to her breasts like a second skin with her nipples perking through the thin satin fabric. As she came closer it clung to her legs and hips. chris almost forgot he was carrying the tub of water and let it slip a bit in his hands. He caught it right away and quickly placed it on the newspaper he had already spread around.

“It seems you have everything ready and in place little man. I’m pleased.” She moved to lean against him, pressing her body along the length of his. Her hand reached behind his head, pulled it down until she could reach his mouth and then she kissed him slowly, caressing his mouth with her tongue.

Pulling back she ordered, “Now strip for me little chris.” With one last nibble at his bottom lip she left him to flick on the television and settle herself on the couch. In her hand chris noticed the bag from the toy store. He took his time stripping, enjoying giving her a show and having her compliment him and reach out to touch him even kiss him a few times. She seemed in no hurry though he could hear the sounds of Chitty Chitty Bang Bang behind him.

When he was left with nothing but his smile she held his hips, kissed his belly and turned him away from her. “You are missing the movie chris. Be a good boy and stay turned this way, enjoy the show. I enjoyed your show.”

His Governess stroked and caressed his body and chris became more and more aroused. He struggled to keep his attention on the TV screen. During the third set of commercials chris heard a rustling as she brought something out of the toy store bag. He couldn’t peek behind to see, she would have noticed that. He tried to see something in the reflection from the glass TV screen but nothing was clear.

The water in the tub swirled around his ankles as she dipped something into it. He looked down too late to see what it was. “Eyes front chris. Watch the movie.”

chris felt something hard and slippery being drawn down the backs of his legs. He flinched and she smacked his bottom. “Stay still for me little man. You don’t want me to make a mistake, do you?”

“May I ask what you are doing Governess?”

“You may ask but I’m not going to answer.” She laughed and brought whatever it was higher and over and around his bottom cheeks. She seemed to be writting something on him.

Behind him she put her hand on his left hip and stood, drawing the thing up his back and along his shoulders, down his sides, making him squirm as she got to a sensitive, ticklish spot.

When she stopped and pulled something else out of the bag he was ready this time as she swirled it in the water. He saw something thick and green in her hand before she went back to brushing it over his body. She began laughing as she worked. chris was getting desparately curious. He tried a quick look over his shoulder and laughed when he saw her colouring him. She was using thick soap crayons from the toy store.

As soon as she saw him looking she flashed him a naughty look and pushed the green crayon between the cheeks of his bottom. “Lets make you clean all over little chris.” She laughed as she drew the crayon back and forth in his cheeks.

“Maybe a change of colour?” chris asked hopefully. Not sure he wanted to become any more intimate with a crayon.

She laughed and of course, chose a red one. This time once it was wet she brought it to his front. She drew circles and squares on his arms and chest. On his legs she drew her versions of birds in flight and other stick figure type drawings. When she reached his hips she wrote “sex toy”. chris looked at it and blushed. As always she was delighted and encouraged to do more by his blush. She took his cock in one hand and coloured the head red. chris automatically backed away when she reached for his balls next. She giggled and instead brought the crayon between his legs, pushing it up against his body and then leaving it there.

She went back behind him and brought a yellow crayon this time. She wet it and began drawing on his face. “Arent you glad we watched those face painters in the park now? I’m making you a tiger face. Though I should use orange, yellow will have to do. There were only five colours in the soap crayon box.”

Next she brought a blue crayon and finished with his face. “Thats all five now. Turn around slowly and let me see if I missed any places on you.”

chris turned, keeping the red crayon in place. “You are such a good boy chris. I think I’m almost ready to wash you now. But the movie is still on so you better wait here until its finished. Don’t sit down or do anything to mess up my masterpiece.”

His Governess went out into the kitchen and chris heard her making popcorn. She shared some with him before she sat down behind him on the couch, ready to watch the rest of the movie. After awhile her toes began to wander along the back of his leg. Soon they were kneading his bottom and pressing the red crayon against his cock and balls. chris began to enjoy the sensations of her toes and the crayon. By the time the movie was over his cock had become stiff and her toes had found their way between the cheeks of his bottom. As the movie credits rolled chris cleared his throat hoping to end the torment and move onto something better.

“Did you like the movie little chris?” She asked. He heard the rustle of the bag as she put away the crayons, all but one.

“It was a very nice movie, thank you for letting me watch it with you Governess.” answered chris.

“There seems to be a crayon missing chris. I wonder if it somehow fell on the floor. Will you bend down and look please?” As chris was debating the wisdom of such a move she added, “Oh never mind I see it!” Her hand reached in, pushing his legs open and she slowly drew the crayon out. chris gasped as his sensitive parts were given added stimulation. “Its warm.” She commented.

“Now chris I want you to lather your body, wet your hands and then run them all over yourself. Face me first. I want to watch you.”

chris dipped his hands in the water and began making the soap crayons into a lather all over his body. He could see how well his Governess was enjoying watching him at work so he took extra time over his chest and arms and thighs and all the other areas he knew she would like.

He was about to lather his face when she caught at his hands, “Leave that for now.” Taking the metal cup she began rinsing all the soap suds from his body. She followed the cascading water with her hands down his chest, along his legs, every where. Eventually her mouth joined in washing him everywhere she could reach. His skin was nibbled and sucked on and she bit his nipples gently. Her hands wrapped around the shaft of his cock and began the slow stroking rhythm she knew would bring chris the most pleasure. When he was moaning and wriggling, begging for release she took a step away from him.

chris was breathing heavily and he swayed as she pulled away from him. “Are you feeling good now little chris?”

“Yes Governess,” moaned chris.

“Good, then its my turn.” She smiled wickedly and began to strip off the red slip.