Sebastian – Handsome Face for the Weekend

Dear Mr. Spence,

Why is it so hard to find good photos of yourself online? Over many years of watching Canadian television (really enjoyed Sophie) and science fiction  I have seen you as the hero, the bad guy, the dork, the jerk and the nice guy, even a Dad mixed in with some of those. I expected to find several excellent photos to illustrate to people who read this site just why I picked you for the Handsome Face this weekend. I am disappointed. For an actor you seem lacking in photos. Are you camera shy?

Anyway, here are those I did find which are not as sexy as I was looking for. But, you will just have to watch for movies and TV shows and see for yourself. Sebastian Spence is a Canadian actor, originally from Newfoundland. Born just 10 days before myself, but a different year.

Sebastian Spence Sebastian Spence Sebastian Spence Sebastian Spence Sebastian Spence Sebastian SpenceI found a LiveJournal fan site for Sebastian Spence.


Where the Wild Things Are: Pagans and Writing

Originally posted to ‘BackWash: Where the Wild Things Are’ newsletter, November, 7, 2003.

What have you written or published lately? Not that every Witch or Pagan needs to be a writer or share their writing with others. But, we do tend to be journal keepers of some sort. Most like writing in their Book of Shadows; thoughts, ideas and experiences. Some choose to go farther and share those same ideas and experiences with others. Of course, each of us chooses where and how large our audience is. Also, how personally connected they are to yourself.

Anyway, I’ve found a lot of Pagans in the arts: writing, crafting and so on. We’re a pretty artsy bunch.

If you do want to dip your toes in the water and share your Pagan writings you can find plenty of online groups. Some are geared to specific areas of Paganism and some are geared to those who are Pagan and writers. It’s not trading one craft for another, it’s growing yourself and your craft.

Of course, you are taking a chance. You can count on finding someone to disagree with whatever you write about. Sometimes they disagree in the form of an attack against you personally. You can choose to ignore this immature stuff, though it’s not easy to stop yourself from feeling defensive. This is all very personal stuff after all. But, if you’re lucky enough to stumble into a group of like-minded people you will have so many new ideas, new angles and slants on old ideas and access to so many experiences. It’s like finding a vast treasure vault without having the expense of hiring a boat, getting seasick and risking pirate attacks, well something like that. You get the idea.

Anyway, this newsletter is one of the things I have written to share with other Pagans. Before this I write a few articles for a print zine and assorted other odd bits here and there. Some newsgroup postings too but that was quite a long time ago before the newsgroups got so snit picky.

I wouldn’t count myself as some grand high authority on everything Pagan. But, I do think I have some ideas and a sense of what I believe to be right and good that I can share. You, the reader, can decide how you feel about what I write. I’m always glad to hear from you, even if you don’t think everything I write is glorious and completely right. We all see things differently and what feels right to me could seem completely crack-brained to you. I don’t mind. I’ll listen to you and make up my own mind. Just as I expect you do with the blatherings I type in here.

If you do post/ publish your Pagan writings online let me know. I’ll be glad to give you a link in the newsletter. Although I believe in reading things I don’t agree with, in order to get more perspective, I won’t link to or promote something I believe is completely harmful.

Seasons Greetings (cause it’s always some season).

Topless Women: The Right to Bare Breasts

I write for HubPages but have gotten tired of their prudish attitude to do with anything sexual or adult. So I am removing posts which I had written there or planned to write there. I don’t need to listen to anyone’s ideals of what is too adult here.

It’s all good until someone pokes a nipple out.


In July this year (2012) it will be twenty one years since Gwen Jacob fought for the right to bare breasts for women in Ontario, Canada.

There are so many issues connected to such a simple thing as bare chests.

  1. Breastfeeding in public and the exposing of the female breast in a public place.
  2. Male and female equality.
  3. Old ideas of women’s breasts as being sinful, dirty rather than natural.
  4. Our own feelings of having or wanting to hide our breasts.
  5. Nudity in general. Naturism, the right to full nudity anywhere.
  6. Violence against women. You may not think this is relevant, but it is.
  7. Dress codes – there are places where no one should be bare chested.
  8. Sex workers who get paid to remove clothing as a career.
  9. Nudity in art.
  10. Sex sells and it’s almost always a woman being sold for sexy ads.
  11. Virginity and being a good girl versus a ‘slut’.
  12. Feminism and the whole bra wearing versus bra burning thing.
  13. The lingerie and fashion industry.
  14. Breast cancer – are you still topless if your breasts aren’t there?
  15. Exposing breasts as an attention getting tactic during protests.

Gwen Jacob in the News

  • Women’s topless court victory 20 years later – CBC News
    When university student Gwen Jacob removed her top to cool off on a sweltering summer day in July 1991, she unwittingly spearheaded a movement to give all women in Ontario the legal right to expose their breasts — though most still choose not to.

 Women Go Topless in Ontario

Gwen Jacob, 1992.

Public Exposure and Indecency

There is nothing in this post which a child could not read. I have not written anything pornographic or adult. I have not added an image even as I write this. Yet this post has been automatically blocked by HubPages – just for using the word breast and/ or topless.

Earlier this month I wanted to post nude ASCII art. But, even the hint of a breast in the post was too much to be acceptable. After trying to work with HubPages restrictions I removed the post (after a second re-edit) and posted the content to my own site instead. I was disappointed in HubPages. As a fairly old fashioned, romantic and traditional woman there was nothing in the post which I found overly adult, offensive or exposed.

Why are we so intimidated by a woman’s breasts? Are women’s breasts dirty? Are women’s breasts naughty and meant to sell cars, beer and pornographic magazines only?

I like my breasts. I will probably not expose them in public because the idea of showing more of myself than I have to is set deeply in my mind. I’m not young, slim and twenty any more. But, I admire those who follow up on the protest by taking off their shirt and going topless.

Topless, Cleavage and Barechested

National Cleavage Day

Wikipedia says women are Topless but men are Barechested:

Barechested most commonly refers to a male wearing no clothes above the waist, exposing much or all of the torso.[1] It is also known as “stripped to the waist” or “being shirtless”. The term topless is usually applied only to women.

Toplessness refers to the state in which the breasts, areolae, and nipples of a woman or post-pubescent girl are exposed, especially in a public venue or in a visual medium.

Why are women described as showing breasts, areolae and nipples. Men have the same biological parts but are only described as being unclothed above the waist. Are topless women only showing breasts but keeping the rest of their bodies covered? No. So, an interesting interpretation between men and women from Wikipedia, isn’t it.

The Right to Bare Breasts Outside of Ontario

Comments from the original post on HubPages. 

That Grrl 3 days ago from Barrie, Ontario, Canada

I like for men and women to cover up. But it should be voluntary, as you say Mike. I wish the young women would be as covered up as the men they are with. Young men wear shorts about knee length and T-shirts. I think it’s weird that young men are dressed well and the young women look like they forgot to put their clothes on.

Mike 4 days ago

I think it is attractive when a woman covers her breasts voluntarily because breasts would be boring if they were exposed all the time. Women are smart for doing this and I thank them.

That Grrl 7 weeks ago from Barrie, Ontario, Canada

Actually there is every way a male chest can be compared to a female chest. We have all the same parts. Women’s breasts just pop out in a different way. Men can have bigger chests or breasts too if they gain weight or lift weight to gain muscles.

The main issue is one of society and our cultural standards. I don’t especially support women going bare chested. But, I don’t support men taking off their shirts in public either. I don’t like the way young women dress with most of their curves hanging out of their clothing meanwhile the young men look over dressed by comparison.

I do think people should dress as they choose, within reason. I don’t think the human body is something which needs to be kept hidden, like a dirty secret. But, I don’t think we need to expose ourselves either. Clothing has a purpose beyond being decorative or keeping our butts from sticking to the seat or preventing a lot of insect bites, etc. There is nothing wrong with some modesty on the part of the clothes wearer or the people viewing other people.

It’s not a simple issue. I actually think it’s pretty complicated and very interesting.

katyzzz 7 weeks ago from Sydney, Australia

There’s no way a male chest can be compared with female breasts, we need to recognise that fact, personally I don’t want to expose my breasts for every Tom Dick and Harry but then again I don’t want to see female breasts either except for breast feeding, I think you present a minority view and a dress code for work for women is definitely due, from what I see going off to work each day, that way they will never get on, the men do dress appropriately on the whole and accept it. Equality

Confessions of a Sex Blog Reviewer

Originally posted to Adult BackWash: Saturday March 20, 2004  

I review sex blogs, journals and resources for sex blogs and journals. You might think that was a lot of fun, pretty stimulating too. Mostly it’s on the dull side.

Sites are all too often hard to navigate, full of links to paying sites and no content of their own or they just don’t interest me. I will list most of the sites that fall into the realm of bloggishness. Not the spammy ones or those not updated more than every now and then when they get a round tuit. If you wouldn’t read it why should it be listed? That’s my theory anyway.

Today there were 3 sites submitted to the adult journals category. Of the three one was last updated August, 2003. An obvious spam for a phone sex service. Deleted, with a note added in case it is re-submitted. Saves me some time and clicking.

The other two were worthy of consideration. One was a blog service type of thing. Not really all that interesting but I listed it anyway. It did seem to be getting updated and for someone browsing the web it would be useful. The other site was an actual sex blog, with a journal and everything. I listed it and skimmed along myself. I did not get turned on. But, did check out her links before leaving. From there I found one other good site and listed that too.

So, now you know. All the perks of being a sex blog reviewer. One nice plus is finding links to add to BackWash. What? You thought I just found them all by my sweet little self? No, I think most of them come from browsing one site to the next. You never know where you will end up. Of course, another interesting way to find links is to randomly type something in to a search and see what oddities come along. Usually I can find at least one unusual and interesting site that way.

Not a very interesting journal this time. I’m just not feeling up to it. But, I thought you might be missing me. We dragons do have our egos.

Pretty for Spring Flowers

Spring is very much here. Outside the Spring flowers are blooming and… it’s been raining all day. Grass is green, robins are pecking around for worms and I’m ready to feel pretty again.

I found a “Blushing Necklace” at Nesting Pretty Things shop on Etsy.  Very pretty with that romantic, soft and slightly fragile look. She has some really lovely things in her shop.

Have a look at the recycled denim necklace. When I first noticed it I thought it was made of rocks. Kind of neat looking and yet not at all heavy to wear.

Nest Pretty Things has a decorating journal with pretty things.  Also a tumblog, on Tumblr.

Sexually Inhibited Men

Originally posted to Adult BackWash: Saturday January 31, 2004

“You are a Creative Lover – You aren’t obsessed with excitement but enjoy trying new things. You understand that a healthy sex life needs to include some variety, and are secure enough to allow yourself to delve into the unfamiliar. Even when some practices are beyond your realm, you aren’t scared or disgusted by those things that others consider pleasurable. Continue to explore your boundaries, and take pleasure in the knowledge that you have achieved a healthy balance in the bedroom — something that your lover probably takes pleasure in as well! “

The above came from one of those quiz things – “Are you a Boring Lover?” which I found through LonelyHousewife’s journal on BackWash.

Why do they assume men are good lovers, or eager lovers? If you read the results of the quiz you get the idea that my lover is a randy stud muffin. Well, he doesn’t even exist at the moment. But, aside from that, my past lover was no randy stud muffin. He wasn’t all that keen on sex and didn’t really want to try new things.

So why do we let them talk to us like that? As if all the inhibitions are on our side. It’s not women who are trembling flowers in the bedroom, not in every case. So give us a break!

How can we feel natural about enjoying sex if we keep getting pushed into thinking we should be inhibited and wait for the man to start things. If we waited for him to start things over population would not even be an issue. At least that’s what I’ve found. Your situation may be different. But, I haven’t found that many men who really are randy stud muffins. Many of them will do all the talk, keep the porn collections they seem to think they must have but few are really all that sexual when it comes to the reality.

Does he talk about how much he likes to cuddle, spoon in bed and etc. Yes, that’s nice. But, that’s for after the sex, not the whole show. Sure, some cuddling foreplay might be ok. But, really, before the show starts wouldn’t you rather be doing something a bit more energetic and interesting? Maybe you like a little intermission to make it last longer. I wouldn’t go into cuddle mode then either.

Anyway, that’s my thing about men being sexual animals full of lust. They aren’t. If you really want a guaranteed sex maniac try the zoo… or maybe not. They might arrest you for some of those kinkier things. Anyway, have fun and allow yourself to like sex. So what if he’s a wet blanket. You’ve always got your orgasm under fingertip control.

Does anyone know about Cory Doctorow?

The first piece of writing I put into this I was told I write like Stephen King. But it was a short bit I wrote as a writing prompt and an odd style. An off style for me. My second try at it came back:

I write like
Cory Doctorow

I Write Like by Mémoires, Mac journal software. Analyze your writing!

I’ve heard the name Cory Doctorow but don’t know a thing about him or his writing.

Dark Erotica Writing

Enter the Dark Side
A Guide to Writing and Marketing Dark Erotica
By Duana R. Anderson

Dark Erotica Defined
‘Dark erotica’ is not easily defined. In fact, everyone has their own idea of what it is. I have seen ‘dark erotica’ described as: sexual horror, erotic horror, gothic erotica, pagan erotica, dark fantasy, romantic horror, gothic romanticism, fetish, BDSM, alternative, underground, urban erotica, paranormal romance, romantic tragedy, science fiction and fantasy, which primarily fall under the huge heading of genre or speculative fiction. There seems to be no limit to what ‘dark erotic’ includes from moody and atmospheric, to sensual and romantic, to raw, edgy, provocative, dark, sinister, bizarre, smutty, sexy, sizzling, urban and utterly pornographic. The only limit is your own imagination.

The keys words here are FEAR and LUST.

FEAR and LUST are at the root of our primal emotions. They originate from the swampy beginnings of our ancestral birth at the core of our reptilian brains. It was these instincts that saved our species from extinction, through procreation and by anticipating unforeseen dangers. They come naturally to us.

Likewise, we are junkies to FEAR and LUST. That’s why we crave a good scare from a horror movie, or long to crawl under the sheets with an erotic novel. We receive the same kind of sensations from a terrifying experience, as we do from sexual arousal. Both are manifested by similar physical responses in our bodies. Both embody an element of danger, which is quite compelling.

It is not unusual then, that FEAR and LUST have an interwoven relationship, each feeding off the other like a pair of sycophants. Our thirst for each is naturally intensified, and ‘dark erotica’ has become the embodiment of both.

Writing Dark Erotica
One thing ‘dark erotica’ is not however, is badly written trash. There seems to be a misconception that all erotica is just sex scenes and all horror is visceral in-your-face splatter gore fiction. Excessive violence and explicit sex does not make a ‘dark erotic’ story. You can have these elements in a story, but they are not what drives the story. ‘Dark erotica’, just like all well written fiction in any genre includes intriguing, well-developed characters, a plot with conflict, a mood, atmosphere, interesting setting, well-written prose, good punctuation, grammar, spelling. ‘Dark erotica’ doesn’t even need to have any “sex” in it at all. It can be sensual, a mood that is seductive or a writer’s style that is evocative.

Don’t be afraid to tease you readers like a stripper, slowly revealing more as you arouse their curiosity. Never forget that the mind is also an erogenous zone as well, and appeal to all the senses. Yes, ‘dark erotica’ can even be intelligent and literate. The same applies to explicit violence and gore. Often, what is not revealed can be more provocative and creepy. As the saying goes: “It is not enough to Conquer, One must know how to Seduce.”–Voltaire. That is not to say that explicit sex scenes and the macabre are not welcome in ‘dark erotica’, but they must be done well.

If you are not sure what ‘dark erotica’ is or how to write it, then read plenty of it. Simply punch ‘dark erotica’ into a search engine (my new favorite is GOOGLE.COM) and start to explore the complexities and styles of this genre. I have listed many online venues in the markets section of this article. Choose quality sites and stories as your guides. Write what turns you on personally. Explore your deepest, darkest fantasies. Hone your skill, develop your own personal voice and style, and let your imagination be your muse.

Market Research
Finding markets is now made easier with the advent of the Internet. To find good markets try ‘publishers of erotica’ in a search engine. Scour the market lists such as Scavengers, Gila Queen, and Spicy Green Iguana. If you prefer pulp, buy books and magazines you enjoy and send away for the guidelines. Buy a “best of” anthology and note the previous publishers on the copyright page, as many of the stories are reprints. Who are your favorite authors? Who is publishing them? Keep a list of these publishers on your hard drive so you can access them when you have a story ready for a specific market.

Most publishers of ‘dark erotica’ are looking for fiction that goes beyond the norm and cross-breeds a variation of genres into a new age mixture. These publishers are interested in experimental fiction that cannot be pigeon-holed and explores new styles and ways of “telling a story.” This is why ‘dark erotica’ has become so popular over the past few years. ‘Dark erotica’ is at the forefront of the evolutionary speculative fiction genre.

There are, however a few things that most publishers no longer want to see. These include vampire fiction, werewolves, bondage dungeons, typical monsters, typical scenarios without any new slants or imagination. That’s not to say that they won’t publish these types of fiction, but they better be a) Great, and b) a new twist on an old theme. With that in mind, it is a good rule of thumb to research specific markets to find out exactly what that publisher wants.

Starting Out
So, if ‘dark erotica’ is such a great up-and-coming genre, how come I can’t find any good paying markets, you might ask. There are paying markets out there. You just have to do you research. I have included a few markets and resources on the web at the end of this article for you to use as a starting place.

When you are first starting in this genre, you may want to try some of the non-paying high quality markets to get your foot in the door. As a writer of ‘dark erotica’ myself I believe authors should be compensated for the outpourings of our soul. On the other hand, many ‘dark erotic’ markets are underground and small press, alternative publications and can’t afford to pay professional rates, paying only in contributor copies or royalties or sometimes only in exposure. This can often be discouraging to writers starting off in the genre. So, why do it?

It certainly is not to get rich, unless any of you are entertaining thoughts of becoming the next Stephen King. But there are advantages to submitting to low or non-paying markets.

One is publishing credits. This is especially important for novice writers. I don’t recommend submitting to any old place, just to see your name in print. Do your homework. Read publication guidelines, look at who they are publishing, find out how well respected they are. Once you get your foot in the door the editor may turn you on to other publications and projects they are working on that do pay. The more widely your work is read, the more you build a name for yourself. This will in turn lead to publications that pay. I have found this to be the case for myself.

And finally. Do it because you love/want/need to. Because you have all these deep dark fantasies burning in your mind that you must exorcize by putting pen to paper (or fingers to key board, which ever the case may be). Isn’t that why we all write anyway? Because we can’t stop ourselves? So go on now. Scare me with your dark verse. Entice me with your steamy words. Enter me with your tales of fear and lust, darkly and deeply.


duana r. anderson is an author, poet, artist, photographer and filmmaker. Her works explore the genres of dark erotica, horror, dark fantasy and gothic romance. Her short stories, articles and poetry had been most recently featured in Suspect Thoughts, Gothic Net, Amoret Journal, Waning and Waxing, Venus or Vixen, Earwig Flesh Factory, Scarlet Letters and Tears on Black Roses. New works will be appearing soon in the next issues of Parchment Symbols and Dancing Skinless. Visit her cyber lair ‘The Daughter of Darkness’ to find out more about her upcoming illustrated chapbook ‘Blood Feast: Tales of Vampire Seduction’, and to unearth the worms that crawl inside her mind:

Using eBooks for Erotica

E-Book ‘Em, Danno!
By Adrian Hunter

Reports of the demise of the e-book are greatly…accurate.

Two years ago, publishers watched in horror as horror fans download 400,000 copies of a digitized Stephen King short story. They figured they were about to get Napstered (in which customers abandon traditional atom-based entertainment products like compact disks for fast, free online bytes) after barely recovering from being Amazoned (in which customers abandon traditional atom-based retail outlets for online stores). They were both nervous and giddy over the prospect of getting rid of the printing process while maintaining a pricing structure that values new hardcover books just south of tickets to The Producers.

They were wrong.

Electronic versions of popular culture are a tricky beast to tame. Playback is the key; it’s easy to turn a computer into a decent stereo, but nobody reads TV, which is how e-books work today, given the paucity of dedicated devices that work as well as paper for the display of rows of tiny type in a form factor that fits in your pocket.

And it turned out that the market for literature not worthy of immortalizing on dead trees was about the same size as the market for proprietary content on the Internet in general (i.e., nonexistent), which led to the demise of dozens of companies like MightyWords that specialized in selling electronic text.

In other words, the professionals say that e-books are just another dot-coma sob story…shut down the web site, cue the pallbearers and sell the Aeron chairs on eBay.

They were wrong, too.

E-books are going to be a huge success in specific categories where paper is actually a liability. Let’s see, what kind of reading material do people not want lying around their coffee tables? Three guesses, starts with a “p”…

Pornography is the perfect field for e-books, especially in categories that appeal to niche audiences like my chosen specialty, bdsm. Before the Internet, commercially-available bondage novels were limited to The Story of O, Anne Rice’s genre experiments, John Norman’s Gor series and seedy F.E. Campbell potboilers sold exclusively in adult bookstores. Dog-eared photocopies of treasured tomes were surreptitiously traded by aficionados, which presumed the reader was brave enough to join the local knitting circle in the first place.

Distribution options increased exponentially with the advent of Amazon and other online storefronts that provided a much higher level of privacy for people who wanted to read quality fictionalized accounts of their favorite obsession. New imprints quickly filled the void with dozens of distressed-damsel titles that could be shipped in ye olde plain brown envelope.

Today, you can’t swing a bullwhip without cracking it against some great bdsm porn. But just because it’s easier to read bondage books doesn’t mean it’s easier to get them published. Either we sell our 100,000 carefully-crafted words for fractions of a penny to traditional bookmakers who handle printing and distribution, or we give them away for free on the Internet.

Enter the lowly e-book, and its digital cousin, print-on-demand (POD) services. Instead of playing “pitch ‘n pray,” writers can sell their stories as e-books directly to an audience that’s often willing to put up with the inconvenience of reading text on a PC monitor in exchange for the cloaking capability.

Of course, this isn’t exactly easy. First, you have to have an audience, which implies you’re pretty good, and you’ve published a few pieces to prove it. In this case, posting stories on newsgroups or web sites absolutely counts. The goal is to develop brand awareness in which your byline is equated with “erotica worth paying for.” Besides, if readers don’t like your tail tales when you give them away, what makes you think a publisher is going to pay for the privilege of trying to sell them? Giving away samples helps seed the search engines, too.

Second, you have to put together an e-commerce operation in which you convert your masterpiece into an appropriate format like Adobe Acrobat and program the software to collect the fees and deliver the goods. It’s not rocket science, but it’s definitely fiddling with liquid hydrogen. If you don’t know what you’re doing, you’ll have to hire someone who does, or (insert vicious circle) work with an established purveyor of similar works who will naturally exact a significant percentage of your profits for their services.

Third, you have to actually sell your e-books. Perversely paradoxical as it sounds, the best marketing ploy is to make the electronic version available as traditional paper-based one, hence the earlier POD reference.

By self-publishing your pornographic novel through a 21st-century vanity press such as or, you tell the reader that the e-book they’re buying is a “real” book and not some shady “paid content” drill (the difference between The Wall Street Journal and Salon). A paper-based book also establishes a higher price ceiling, so the $7.99 you charge for the e-book looks like a heck of a deal compared to $21.99 for the trade paperback.

The real paradox is, you’ll probably sell one “real” book for every 20 e-books, which is just dandy since the per-copy net is higher for the enhanced-electricity version versus the inky tome.

There are upfront costs involved. You will have to pay the POD publisher (a minimum of $100) and the credit card processor (up to 20 percent of each transaction). But you can cut corners by using an advertiser-supported web host such as Yahoo! Geocities and subscribing to Adobe’s Acrobat conversion application for $9 a month instead of buying the software for $250.

Yes, it can be a hassle when readers have problems downloading files (hint: immediately send them the e-book via an email attachment…to be successful on the Internet, you can’t afford any unhappy customers). But the benefits of controlling your own destiny and reaping most of the profits definitely outweigh the downside of becoming intimate with CGI scripts.

Hey, your DIY labors might even catch the eye of an established publisher. Since you didn’t sell the rights to your book to anyone else, you’re free to sign on the dotted line.

Under any circumstances, selling your own e-books sure beats beating the bushes and/or begging. Then again, bondage authors are experts at those particular sports, not to mention related perverse paradoxes like pleasurable pain. Like we say on Usenet, YMMV (your mileage may vary), but at least you’re the one who’s driving.


Adrian Hunter began posting his fiction on the Internet in 1993. Four years later, he compiled his stories on a web site,, which has attracted more than a million visitors. In 2000, he was the recipient of the “Best Bondage Writer” award from SIGNY. He has published two anthologies of his short stories, Crash Your Party Dress and Something Just Clicked, as well as a full-length novel, Once Bitten, with co-author Chelsea Shepard. For more information, please visit, or write to him at