I know people who will only play online. They say they are into BDSM but I don’t agree. They are missing two important parts of the whole BDSM relationship. The actual parts which make it a relationship.
Is that why they don’t want to have anything real? If it were real, would that make it too real for them?
So what are they missing, you may be wondering. First, the reality. How does it really feel to experience your fantasies, fetishes and kinks? How does it feel physically, emotionally and mentally. Second, the after care.
BDSM online doesn’t involve aftercare. It’s all over once the climax happens. Each person leaves, some leave even before the end, some leave right after the end and some make excuses (not always polite) and leave.
It’s so easy to leave that way. You don’t have a real connection, just an Internet connection. Nothing like a real relationship where you share the same space emotionally, mentally and physically.
No wonder people doubt the sincerity and authenticity of online play. It really isn’t actually real. Not just the lack of commitment but the lack of real contact at all. Online play lacks real involvement, responsibility and shared emotion. No matter what anyone thinks or feels, it is all one sided.
I know because I have done online play. Not dabbled in it but actually spent months and years playing that way. I defended it then too. But, I knew reality was very different. I had reality with my husband. (No I was not cheating on him, we weren’t married very long and I played before and after).
Online play is lonely.
Online play leaves you wanting more. That only works in show business. Wanting more is not good when it happens to you. It makes you needy, clingy and very sad.
Anyway, it’s a shame there is no aftercare with online play. It could make all the difference to the people involved. But, I think that is the attraction for most of them. Even as they yearn for something real they don’t want to give anything real to someone else. They seek care but want it all for themselves. Is that why there are so many more women as BDSM submissives than Domme online?
So many interesting questions and I’m just here talking to myself. But, it’s real. Until I find someone who can share something real with me I’d rather be alone than feel even more alone while I’m with someone else.
Once a BDSM scene has physically ended, the connection between Dom and sub is still very much active, learn how best to deal with aftercare.