Sexy Unicorn

unicornThis unicorn must be male. It’s sexy in that good male kind of way.

How can any woman be satisfied with a sissy male submissive, really? I just find it hard to believe. I don’t mind feminization to some extent, if it’s my choice (as the Dom). I like ageplay too, on my terms of course. But, I still want to feel I’m with a man, not a needy child-man.

Where is the power in dominating a man who doesn’t seem to have any power?

There is the aspect of bad boys. Women do like a bad boy they say. I don’t really. I think a man can have all the elements and not be the type who goes overboard. A good boy can be powerful and sexy.

Note: I don’t have a link to the artist for this image. The site I found it on came up with 404 when I tried to get to the page from Google’s image search.

Real FemDom Ideas To Dominate Your Man With

The link below offers a fairly traditional list of FemDom fetishes and kinks. I read the list and then thought: I don’t actually want most of that. Or, if I do, it’s not really all that interesting after a short time. Not for me, individually, personally.

Women as Doms are pushed to perform for male submissives. Stop and think… What do you actually want?


Foot worship… slobber on your feet and foot wear. How attractive is that? Get him to pamper your feet in practical ways: manicures, leg waxing and massage. Change foot worship into foot service and reap the rewards!

Chastity… really means chastity for both of you. Would you prefer having him make love to you – the way you want him to? Yes, you can have him perform and give you an orgasm but is that really enough for you? Chastity works better as a tease than a reality. Long periods of time spent in chastity are usually just in stories, not fact.

Sissy play… Do you really like seeing him feminized? How does that make you feel about being a woman yourself? I don’t like sissy play. Not because I don’t like the torment of putting him into high heels, a frilly pair of panties, etc. But, I feel there is an aspect of sissy play which minimalizes women and being a woman.

Spanking… play, punishment, pleasure…? Do you enjoy giving a spanking? Do you like the exercise you get from it? By the end of the spanking do you have bruises too?

Bondage and teasing I do like. But, I make sure I’m doing both my way. I make sure I’m enjoying teasing him and I prefer mental bondage to the risk of tools and gadgets which are really physical objects to symbolize the actual control and power. Physical bondage works when I want to see him struggle and squirm and he likes being able to do so.

Roleplay… I do enjoy adding flavour with roleplay. But, how do you feel about it yourself? Does some of it feel silly, over done? Do you enjoy it or is it a performance and you’re glad when it’s over and you can be yourself again?

Learn how domination can boost your confidence and bring you closer to your man with these sexy femdom ideas that you can cater to your interests!

Source: 10 Femdom Ideas To Dominate Your Man With

Male Slave Art is Too Hard to Find

Why is it to hard to find male submissive art? Not the art made for men, but the male submissive art made for women, straight women who like submissive men. Each time I look for art I try new combinations of words. I still hope (or expect) I will one day find just the right phrase and there will be a stream of great, sexy submissive males in art. There never are. Most of the time I search for men or male and get women (not Dom women but sub women). This begins the disappointment and annoyance. Most of the other images will also be geared to men (either gay men or men who want to see FemDom art where the male is the victim rather than the strong, sexy submissive).

Maybe few women Doms are able to draw. I don’t draw very well at all myself. So I can understand how this could be. Still, I just feel sure there are great places to find the art I want. So I keep looking.

The image below was from a gay men’s roleplay group. I like it. I would like this image even more if he were wearing eyeglasses. That little extra touch of both humanity and vulnerability, would have been sexier.

 

Source: Lost Love ~Master and Slave Roleplay| Gaia Guilds | Gaia Online

Expecting the Male Submissive to Behave Like One

There is a difference between trying to make people do things and expecting people to do things.

What makes a woman a good Domme… expecting him to be submissive. Not forcing or pushing or making him behave, just expecting it.

He wants this. He wants to be dominated, put in his place and he expects you to do it.

You want the power of having him in his place. (At least that’s how it feels to me). But, the more energy you put into keeping him there with force, aggression or threats – the less in control you feel. It also wears you down. I don’t like men who complain about women nagging. But, I understand how it happens. Men don’t comply with what she wants. So she asks again. Maybe she pushes more the next time. It carries on from there. As long as she continues to ask for what she wants he will consider her to be nagging.

No woman wants to be seen as a nag.

So break the pattern. Stop asking him a second time. Stop demanding, stop trying to make him do things. Expect it. Ask or explain what you want, once. Just once. Afterwards, expect him to do it.

I’m not writing about not communicating and thinking he will have some psychic power to know what you want.

I do know that you can communicate without being pushy, without speaking a word. In the case of being a BDSM Domme you have the extra edge of punishment too. Don’t forget that element. He didn’t behave, he didn’t accomplish a task, etc. – punish him. You don’t need to put a lot of energy into it. Don’t explain and talk about it all as if he were a small child.

Just tell him he failed to perform as expected. That’s not acceptable. Now his punishment will be…

No screaming, yelling or fighting required. Remember, this BDSM submission is what he wants. Remind him of that, once, should he complain or forget his place.

Next time you want something done… Expect it to be done right and make the punishment something you could enjoy or benefit from if he fails to meet your expectations.

Don’t be petty or small minded and demand he serve his punishment with a smile. Instead, smile yourself, knowing you got what you wanted without screaming, nagging or feeling like a bitch.

Being a Domme isn’t about keeping in character. It’s about enjoying your submissive man. Don’t let him forget it!

Beginners Guide for Becoming a Male Submissive

The BDSM experience is different for men and women, in several ways. Women are more careful about meeting men. Women may be looking for romance and affection, a relationship while men really just want sex. Women tend to get pushed into things they really don’t want to do, in order to keep the peace.

I often read people (men) claiming women into Domming are rare. In my experience this is not true. I encounter many women who would enjoy Domming men, if they could find one who meets their needs.

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Being a male submissive may not be what you think it is at all

There are very few men who understand what a Dom woman is looking for, what she actually wants. She does not want to be the Dom you see in pornography. If you are looking for a woman to fulfill all your porno fantasies of what male submission should be… pay for it. Professional sex workers will dress the part and read from whatever script you want, do it your way (as long as safety is considered) and give you what you want as you expect to have it.

Real women who Dom, just because they want to, will want to do things their own way. Real women Doms have their own fantasies, their own desires and plans for play, teasing, romance, seduction, torment and all their own fetishes and kinks. They will want you to please them and that may not include any of the fetishes and kinks you have been fantasizing about.

A real woman may not want a man slobbering on her shoes or expecting to wear her underwear, for instance.  Some women may like the idea of training men to submit while others think they should already be house broken.

Worship and begging may not appeal to her. For myself, both of these are a turn off. The real appeal of having a male submissive is that he be a man, strong, clever, manly and yet my submissive. Retain your dignity and be a male submissive worth having and keeping.

Before you Begin…

Decide if you actually want the reality.

Do you want a woman telling you what to do? Are you willing to be disappointed when she isn’t interested in doing what you want, the way you want it? Will you let her lead or will you try to pressure her into giving you what you want instead?

Do not manipulate your Dom. Yes, it is fun to have the erotic play of teasing, denial, struggling and so on… but it should be sincerely part of the fun and not “topping from the bottom”. Two people sincerely invested in D/s can have a lot of fun, pleasure and explorations. If you top from the bottom (manipulate your Dom) you cheat yourself from ever having the real experience of submitting, serving and discovering the pleasure of being a male submissive in reality.

Also, no Dom woman likes to be manipulated. We get this from almost every so-called male sub on dating sites and etc. It is very discouraging. If you wonder why there are so few women into Domming – this would be the number one reason.

If you can’t let go of your expectations then consider paying for what you want and getting it from a McDomme (paid to do it your way).

What are you really willing to do?

Too many men have a list of fetish and kink ideas but no thoughts about the reality. This is especially a bad idea when it comes to health and safety. There are several things which will sound good on paper or turn you on when you watch a video… but reality is not like that. Reality is messier, reality is less planned and professional, less perfect and reality has accidents and misunderstandings.

Never say you are willing to do anything/ everything. Because you aren’t. No one is – unless it’s make believe and pretend.

Read about the reality of your fetishes and kinks. Instead of watching the porn find someone who really has done it and read about their experience. What went wrong, what didn’t work and how did they learn to do it better or another way. Research the reality. Even if you have no experience you can read the experience of others (just not the porn version).

Consider safety and be practical about it

If you have issues such as allergies, a phobia, dislikes put together a list of these issues. Personally, I don’t like having something close around my neck or mouth because I grew up with asthma. I’m also allergic to animals which limits the places and people I can spend time with to some extent. These are things to be aware of, for yourself and the woman Dom you would like to meet.

Although safety and health are more up to the Dom in a D/s relationship you can’t expect her to know your needs, read your mind or use telepathy to know there is a problem.

Safe words are not that reliable. If there is a real problem, something sudden, you need communication which won’t be forgotten in the moment or confused with something else.  A direct safe word, like stop, is better than trying for some secret code you may not remember when you need it. If you use the safe word for effect rather than actually needing it the play stops anyway. Respect the safe word – it’s not a game.

Communicate and talk about anything you plan to do. Start simple and leave yourself room to back out or change the plan. you may think you want to start with the hard stuff but discover your feelings were far more involved when it was actually happening. It is possible to discover you  have a phobia or intense dislike you didn’t know you had until you tried something. This can be especially true with bondage. Actually being confined is not just as you imagine it to be. Explore and experiment with baby steps and savour the experiences as you go.

Submission is not a gift

Years ago the idea that submission is a gift started in the online BDSM groups. This is not the right attitude. Domination is just as much a gift, if you want to consider either of them a gift at all.

You have chosen to submit and your Dom has chosen to lead you, to control you and to own you (up to a point). She is not likely to want to micro-manage you. Being the Dom is a responsibility. It’s not easy and it is not something to take lightly. People can get hurt physically, mentally and emotionally. Both of you need to communicate to prevent problems. The gift is the relationship itself, when you can find it.

Explore and discover

  • Try blindfolding yourself in your own bed. How does it feel? Does the blindfold itch? Do you feel peaceful?
  • Sit on your hands next time you’re alone watching TV. How long can you keep yourself in this self-bondage? How uncomfortable is it?
  • Sit under a table, let it become your cage. Does the confinement bother you? Do you feel snugly caged or just trapped?
  • Try being naked when you are home alone. With the blinds or curtains closed stand naked in front of the window. Even knowing no one can see you do you get a thrill or can you not even do it at all?
  • Buy a dog collar for yourself. No one has to know you don’t have a dog (or your dog won’t be wearing this one). Wear the collar but wrap it around your wrist the first day (not your neck).
  • Even before you have a Dom you can practice serving her tea. Dress up (she doesn’t want pubic hair in her tea cup), make a plate up with pretty treats and serve tea in a teapot with a fancy teacup and saucer for her.

The reality is much different from the fantasy. Reality isn’t the porn version because it’s not scripted and the people are not actors. However, you can actually be one of the people involved rather than watching and wishing from the sidelines. Just make sure you want the reality, imperfect but not impersonal.

How and in what way do you exert your control?

The question was: How and in what way do you exert your control?

My answer:

The simplest answer is that control is understood. But, that leaves out all the fun and interesting parts.

A D/s relationship is about consent being understood, a given. After that there are the fine points about how far things will go. But, the consent is a given which means I have the power in my hands. I can use tools, words, bondage, mental bondage, etc to confirm, enforce or enjoy having that power but, one of the best things is using whatever I like to enjoy having that power of consent.

I’m fairly creative. I have fun designing scenarios. I like domestic discipline with spanking, collar, leash and teasing and torment. I like the plan of having a sub in bondage, wearing a blindfold and being subject to my whims. Maybe a lot of sensual touches, maybe tickling, maybe the suspense of being ignored awhile. I like elements of Gor too, with a male submissive who has strict rules for behaviour, how to sit, when to sit, what to wear, etc. I love bringing in all sort of elements from BDSM, and other sources of inspiration. I do know that I am not into messy stuff like diapers, pee or poo play.

Control can be exerted with a whisper, a soft touch or the crack of my hand on a bare ass cheek. Control can be exerted from having a sub perform a spelling bee, having a sub lie in the snow while I pose and photograph him, a strict voice (my ten year old niece calls me a dragon because I control the kids with just my voice and the rare swat on the ass).

So the short answer is that control is assumed, but there is far more to it. I would say that a sub who tried to be too disobedient would not work out for me. I like the sub squirming in bondage but if he were bucking my authority the authority would just be gone and so would I. I won’t put up with a sub who thwarts my authority or acts like this is all a game. There are a few rules but there are rules.

The Best Male Submissive?

From the Space Age Planet on Tumblr. Men aren’t the only ones who fantasize about a sex bot. I think women would want more than sex though. After all, I can do that myself. I’d like a robot man around the house for more important things like just making me happy in general. Someone to hold your coat while you put it on when going out for the evening. Romance could be part of the robot man’s programming. Romance, obedience, strength and a really good masculine voice… those are nice qualities in a submissive male. The only thing missing is a sexy smile. If they could make robots that looked less like a collection of recycled parts, that would be a good thing.