Domme in Daily Life: 30 Days of Dominance

Day 2 – Describe what you are looking for in a submissive and the techniques you might use to instill those characteristics in your submissive. Are you exclusively Dominant in marriage or just in the bedroom? Are you Dominant only in the context of a scene or in a role or throughout your daily life? Are you Dominant to play partners or only in the context of a relationship?

The New Bride Groom

For me marriage has now become more of an servant relationship for me. Lately I’ve gotten much better at serving, I’m used to getting up earlier to make breakfast, take care of the home, I give excellent massage and oral sex has become a daily thing in my recent relationships. I know if I were to ever marry, the ring would symbolize not just a bond, but ownership. I’m not rushing to marry but if I ever do, I know I would be hers forever.

Source: Submissive in the City: Submissive Marriage

Slavery Bracelet Rules

Use this to make your own rules, if you like the idea of a slavery bracelet for your man.

slavebracelethowto

The bracelet rules for the male:

  1. Once it’s on your wrist, you are not allowed to take it off. And there are no exceptions. She is in charge now, and she is the only one who can take it off.

If you’ll take it off, it means you broke a contract you had with her, and she can decide on the punishment, and in addition she can claim your slavery for a double period of time.

  1. As long as it’s on his wrist, you are her slave, and she is your owner. The status of your relationship or marriage has changed, and it will stay like this until she removes the bracelet.
  1. At the moment, you are wearing the bracelet, you must bow down to the floor and kiss her feet/shoes until she decides it’s enough. By doing it, you admit that the status has change, and you are under her control.
  1. During the time the bracelet is on you, you are obligated to accept her punishments. Once she calls you for punishment you cannot refuse. She is allowed to use the whip or leather belt to punish you as much as she wants.

Rules for the goddess:

  1. You, and only you have the right to take the bracelet off and release him.
  2. Before you put the bracelet, make sure that you are both know how long will be the period.

In case you both did not discuss how long he will be under your control, and for some reason the bracelet is on. The time will be the same as the last period.

 

  1. If you decide that it will be for 14 days. You should release him after 14 days and don’t try to use your power to extend the time since he cannot take off the bracelet by himself, and he is depended on you to be released.
  1. You cannot extend the period as punishment. If he was not obedient, punish him as much as you like. But do not extend the period because of it
  1. You can extend the period only on one exception. If he missed a day, for some reason, you entitle to extend it in two days for every one day he missed.

For example: you both decided on 21 days.   During the period, he needed to stay at work later one day, and he was sick and could not serve you for two days.  He missed three days total and as compensation you have the right to extend the period in six days (two days for every day he missed). There will be no argument about it from his side.

Make sure to force these rules. He must respect these rules and the sacredness of the slavery bracelet.

Source: Goddess Tip : The slavery bracelet

Image source: Instructables – with instructions for making a simple slave bracelet.

My Husband Doesn’t Understand Me

Isn’t this pretty much the same reason husbands say they cheat?

But all were clear that they were not leaving their current relationship. These weren’t monkeys getting a grip on the next branch before letting go of the first. They just wanted to feel what they used to feel from the man in their life.

The most common complaint was a lack of passion and effort by the man in their current relationship. It makes sense. When a man begins dating a woman, he puts in tons of effort; he woos her. Once she’s “his,” he stops putting in that effort, but she still longs for it. She wants to be desired, seduced, and connected with on a regular basis. So many men seem to be missing the boat. They start strong, having a decent sense of how to capture a woman at the beginning, but upon entering a relationship they are unprepared for the long haul and investment a successful relationship demands past the dating phase. The situation starts to reek of complacency and satisfaction in mediocrity.

via: I went undercover on Ashley Madison to find out why women cheat.

poiseDo people just need to put more effort into their marriage to get what they both want out of it? Or, did they marry someone for all the wrong reasons and now the sex isn’t enough to sustain a relationship?

I do agree that women are more likely to cheat for emotional reasons than physical reasons.

Another reason – pregnancy and children. But, this could just as well be a reason for single women too. I do know that was the only thing which caused me to ever consider cheating on my husband. (He changed his mind about having children soon after we were married).

I don’t think looking for sex or affection/ romance are good reasons to cheat on a spouse or lover. Not because it’s dishonest (though that is part of it) but because you aren’t likely to find what you are looking for with someone willing to have a temporary, non-committal relationship.

If you just want sex, help the economy and pay for it.

If you want romance try finding it with the one you’re married to before you go screwing around and making things a mess for your spouse and family. How romantic is it going to feel when it all comes crashing down around you?

Arranged Marriages via Online Dating?

Not so long ago young women of my generation were thinking how awful an arranged marriage would be. Marrying (or even dating) someone chosen for you by someone else. A blind date with the expectations of changing your life for you.

Now we give this power to online dating sites. Match us up with their algorithms and theory of personalities and data of interests… is it really any different than an arranged marriage? Sure you have the choice of a second date but, as things get faster paced do we actually feel more in a rush to meet someone, get married and have a family? Are we using computer dating to put a rush on our lives?

At least when family arranged marriages they actually cared about the outcome. A computer will never think about you at all, not even the first time when it’s arranging your life.

Analog relationships are antiquated, she thinks. She never had a date that wasn’t proposed by CuePID scores.

But, as Grandma tells of her great romance, Jenna wonders what drew them together. After all, none of what attracted her grandparents can be captured in online profiles.

Gradually, Jenna’s feeling of freedom changes—into a sense of manipulation by stupid CuePID

via – NetAppVoice: Online Cupid — Not So OK [100 Words Into The Future] – Forbes.

Sex is Not About Reproduction?

“Sex is not about reproduction. At all.” Today on BOLD, LeGrande Green interviews sex researcher Christopher Ryan about the provocative history of marriage and sexual boundaries. “If you look at it from a historical sense,” he says, “monogamy is propaganda, not science. I often compare it with vegetarianism…it’s a choice.”

Via – CHRISTOPHER RYAN: “The History of Sex” » BOLD WITH LeGRANDE GREEN

From a male perspective it is much easier to decide sex is not about reproduction. How many women would feel that same way? From a female perspective reproduction is a big part of sex. Birth control, having a monthly period and pregnancy are all linked to sex – unless you’re a male. For men the issue of reproduction is whether or not they use a condom. Big difference, but it makes it much easier for men to think sex is just sex, without consequences or something you have to plan for.

Too bad reproduction isn’t a choice. Women could choose to get pregnant, or not, without requiring sex partners, doctors, lawyers or anyone else. If a woman wanted a baby but didn’t really see any man she wanted to be with, monogamous or not, she could just choose to be pregnant. If a woman did not want to be pregnant she could choose to terminate a pregnancy without getting approval or judgment from anyone. If a woman just wanted to have sex, an orgasm or three, she could choose that, even with a partner.

Yes, women can get abortions. If they qualify. If they can afford it. If they are willing to risk being under the knife and if they can take on the guilt and sadness of aborting a developing life. Abortions are no simple thing. But, they don’t happen to men.

Sex would be much simpler for women if they could eliminate the reproduction issues caused by sex. But, so far science hasn’t found a way to make that a choice for women.

What is Sex, Actually?

When you hear sex education you likely assume it’s all about sex. However, there is more to sex education than sex alone. There are things like sexless marriages, virginity, menopause, fetishes and kinky stuff too.

Have you ever thought about what sex actually is?

Does sex have to be about penetration? What if you and a partner are into mutual masturbation, does that mean you have not had sex? If you say yes to that, does that mean lesbians have never had sex (unless you count being artificially penetrated – assuming they use such things)?

What about people who choose not to have sex, is there something wrong with them or is it just a choice? If there isn’t something wrong with that choice what does it say about people who have a lot of sex or think they are deprived if they haven’t had sex in a week? Are they oversexed?

I think sex is embarrassing. People don’t really want to talk about it, face to face. When you have sex you look pretty silly and sound worse. I’m amazed the human species has made it this far when I think about what sex actually is, especially in the past when consent wasn’t an issue.

So much about sex is all in your perspective. When you are intimate with someone you forget to be embarrassed. If you are someone who has sex frequently that seems normal to you. Someone else who has sex less often is normal too. It doesn’t mean they have less libido, less desire or are less attractive. They have a different perspective.

All this fuss about sex and then… menopause. What is the purpose of sex? I’ve thought about that. As a woman over 45, child-less and now waiting for menopause I sometimes feel angry about the whole sex thing. I think sex has let me down in every way that counts. I didn’t especially love sex when I was married, or before or since. I got married for the purpose of having companionship and children. I never found out if I were infertile, that didn’t become an issue because my husband changed his mind about children and being married. We’re divorced. Not because of sex.

My First Divorce

Originally posted to Sex Kitten (2003 – 2004)

That was when she looked at websites about disposing of bodies. Not that he was quite a body, he was still breathing after all. But… she was only curious really.

His head was heavier than expected, kind of like a really big cabbage she’d once cooked for making cabbage rolls. She had a hard time fitting it into the pot, the cabbage, not his head. Although, cooking him was an alternative under consideration.

What do you do with an extra husband after all? Once the marriage was over, he became kind of disposable, like an extra toaster after the wedding. You could always give it away, but somehow that seemed so small minded. Why saddle someone else with your spare toaster? Even more so with a used toaster, one you had cleaned up after, slept with and all that other labour and time not so well spent. Maybe, it was really more like having a sixth finger than an extra toaster. Imagine how awkward that sixth finger would be? Holding a pen would be like a wrestling match and typing would be, well… interesting. Continue reading My First Divorce

A Proposal Planner?

» Blog Archive » Would You Marry A Guy Who Used A Proposal Planner?.

On one side… doesn’t he know you well enough to do it himself? On the other side… why not have some help?

Do you remember being proposed to? I don’t, because I was the one who proposed. It was over the phone and more of a now or never thing. I was at the bus station with all my luggage and was told I was attempting to cross the border as an illegal alien. So I phoned and told him I wasn’t coming and didn’t want to live like a nomad any longer. We started the immigration and marriage procedure from there. Trust me, it was a procedure.

Anyway, I would have liked being proposed to. Something romantic and yet practical. Not too showy. I’d prefer privacy and intimacy to billboards and jumbo viewing screens.

All that aside, what a great job Proposal Planner would be? If you were already an Event Planner you could take up Proposal Planner on the side. Simpler than planning a wedding and all that chaos.

30 Days of Dominance

Found this posted to several Tumblr BDSM sites. Another project, for another time.

Day 1 – Does your Dominance – either what you practice or what you strive for – have a label? Do you view your preferred Dominant style as Taken in Hand, Domestic Discipline, Top/bottom, Dominant/submissive, Master/slave, Owner/pet, or some other description or combination? If you do not use a label, why?

Day 2 – Describe what you are looking for in a submissive and the techniques you might use to instill those characteristics in your submissive. Are you exclusively Dominant in marriage or just in the bedroom? Are you Dominant only in the context of a scene or in a role or throughout your daily life? Are you Dominant to play partners or only in the context of a relationship?

Day 3 – How do you know you are a Dominant or have the potential to be Dominant? How do you feel when you express your Dominance?

Day 4 – Do you switch into a submissive role at any time? Are you a “switch” in BDSM terms? If not, have you ever thought about it or given thought to why it’s not for you? If you are in a Domestic Discipline relationship, are there things that you do not maintain control over?

Day 5 – Have you been or are you in a Dominant/submissive dynamic relationship or is this new to you? Have you been in more than one D/s relationship? How were they the same? How were they different? What is unique about your relationships in your mind?

Day 6 – What do you feel are the roots of your Dominance? Do you think it has something to do with childhood, upbringing or parental example? Is it a relationship management tool as in the practice of domestic discipline? Is it a sexual thrill or something else?

Day 7 – Do you inflict discipline or punishment as part of your Dominance? Why or why not? How do you feel about discipline and punishment as tools used to invoke and maintain submission from your partner/s?

Day 8 – Is spanking or corporal punishment part of your Dominance? Why or why not? How do you feel about spanking and/or corporal punishment as tools used to invoke and maintain submission from your partner/s?

Day 9 – Do you set and enforce structure, rules and limits as part of your Dominance? Why or why not? How do you feel about the use of structure, rules and limits as tools used to invoke and maintain submission from your partner/s?

Day 10 – Do you utilise any elements of BDSM in your Dominant style? How do you feel about BDSM? Is it core to your Dominance, peripheral or non-existent?

Day 11 – Do you expect servitude from your submissive/s? How do you define servitude and service? What does it mean to you? If you do not seek or expect servitude from your submissive/s, what is it about the concept of servitude that is not for you?

Day 12 – Do you expect financial submission from submissive partner/s? If yes, how does it manifest itself? If no, is there a particular reason why? Are you familiar with the concept of financial submission? Do you have an opinion about financial submission in general?

Day 13 – Is sexual availability, having your submissive partner/s sexually available to you at any time and in any manner you choose, part of your expectations as a Dominant? Why or why not? Are there acceptable limits to this? If so, what are they?

Day 14 – Does religion have any bearing on your Dominance or the way you expect your partner/s to submit? If not, are you familiar with religious based submission and do you view it as similar to other types of submission or dissimilar?

Day 15 – Has your Dominance evolved over time? If so, how has it evolved for you? What do you attribute this evolution (or lack of) to?

Day 16 – Have you found that your Dominance has changed with different partners or relationships? If you’re involved with, or have been involved with, partners of both sexes, has your Dominance changed based on gender or do you feel that it is dependent on the submissive as an individual?

Day 17 – What does trust mean to you in the context of Dominance? How do you inspire trust in your submissive?

Day 18 – There is a common misconception that the submissive partner in a D/s relationship loses the ability to have and express an opinion. How does communication factor into your Dominance and what expectations do you have in terms of your submissive expressing their desires and needs? Is it limited in time, place or manner?

Day 19 – How socially connected are you as a Dominant? Do you look for others to talk to about your Dominance either for support, learning, educating or networking? Do you go to events or connect through another sort of social grouping either in person or online?

Day 20 – Has your Dominance increased or decreased over time? Have you ever had to renegotiate with your submissive due to a change in feelings or circumstance? Have your interests as a Dominant expanded or contracted over time?

Day 21 – Is there a physical position that makes you feel most Dominant? Is there a physical position you prefer your submissive to take in order to express their submission?

Day 22 – Can you feel Dominant without a submissive partner? If so, how does your Dominance express itself? If not, how do you handle your need to be Dominant?

Day 23 – Is there anything about Dominance, either your own or what you see in others, which you question, dislike or are repelled by? Was there a time you questioned or were resistant to your own Dominant needs and desires?

Day 24 – What are the emotions that most directly let you access your Dominance? What feelings do they inspire?

Day 25 – Are there items, objects or rituals that represent or help you express your Dominance? If not, have you ever thought of adding or being gifted one? Is there a special significance to these objects or rituals?

Day 26 – What are the qualities that you seek in a submissive partner? Are there qualities which you consider ‘must haves’ or ‘must not haves’? If so, what are they and for what reasons are they ‘must haves’ or ‘must not haves’?

Day 27 – Do you have Dominant desires or fantasies that you have yet to explore? Do some of your desires confuse or frighten you? Do they excite you?

Day 28 – Has your Dominance ever failed you? Have you ever been criticised or received negative feedback for your Dominance? Have you ever regretted your actions or emotions as a Dominant either in a moment or in a relationship? Have you ever looked back and realised you made a mistake and, if so, what lessons did you learn and how did you apply them?

Day 29 – Is pain or humiliation part of your Dominant expression? What is your relationship to pain and humiliation? Do you embrace it as part of your Dominance, inflict it reluctantly or have some other type of relationship with it?

Day 30 – Is your need to be Dominant being met? If not, or if your situation changed, do you think that you could continue in your life and be happy and content without being able to express your Dominance in the way that feels best to you? What makes being a Dominant special to you?