How Did you Pick Your User Name?

You might pick a few user names over the time you are on the Internet. Likely, you have a selection depending on where you are and who you are communicating with too.

The name you pick for yourself says a lot about you. Even if you didn’t intend it to have any real meaning beyond what seemed obvious to you at the time. Women may look at a name and read more into it than men expect. I often wonder if men really understand what their online names say about them.

I found a list of ick factor names men often use. It is a great list – I’ve felt the same way about user names like these. As a Domme looking to meet men online (I’ve kind of stopped looking now) any name like those below is a turn off. To me each of them show a one track mind, focused on his needs/ wants and not leaving any imagination or care for me. Almost no men online (on dating/ personal sites) will ask what I want until they have exhausted their own laundry list of what they will do for me. Silly boys, how can you know what I want if you are focused on what you want and ignore me.

Kind of like dealing with a telemarketer on the phone – you can put the phone down and just leave them talking to themselves until they finally hang up.

From an old post on Domme Chronicles:

If a submale has a user name that communicates an icky message, he is going to have to work *extra* hard to make me believe he’s actually an intelligent, thinking human being.

Examples of names with the ick factor:

  • Names that focus on your fetish: footslave; oralslut; hot4latex, cuckme.
  • Those that offer sexual use to the world: open4yrstrapon, slave4youtouse, toiletpaperboy4u, useme4sex, sexslave4u.
  • Anything with the number ‘4’ in it: see above.
  • Explicit sexual names: bigdick4u, tinycockboy, tongueyrclit, fuckmyarse, sixtyniner.
  • Names that make you look like a fantasist: lockmeup24-7, castrateme, extremesub, nolimitslarry.

My comment:

I will often pick out a clever user name as someone to chat with online. When I don’t really know anything else about the person, not even gender these days, I hope the name shows something about them – clever, creative and maybe interested in history or science fiction (if the name connects to something I also know and like). Mainly I like a clever name because it shows (he?) might have interests to talk about rather than drooling on about “serving me” before knowing what I even like or want.

I picked Darla Darling because my ex-husband called me DarLink when we talked online. So it became Darla Darling because I also liked that name from the old Little Rascals TV shows. Also, it worked well when I came up with the name for my site, thinking of the Gabor sisters. In a roundabout way it all worked out.

A Well Kept Man

It’s weird, but this makes him look more like a woman than men dressing up as women.

We get so focused on women being just parts. These parts in particular. I guess when the focus is the same parts for a male I still have the association.

Also, I don’t see all the cosmetics, frills and such as being something that makes a woman.  I don’t wear make-up myself. Does anyone else get that feeling from this image? Or, will I get more comments about how hateful I am? (Still makes me laugh a little).

Source: Mister Kristofer

Gay men BDSM sites often have good fantasy fare. But, overall it’s more fun to watch than to try to do it myself. Something like this would be fun for awhile but… for all the time it would take to get him into this, I don’t think the fun (for me) would be enough to make it worthwhile. Still, leaving him that way awhile (not unsupervised!) would probably give him a lot of subspace time. Especially if he knew I was still around but didn’t know what I was up to. I could be washing dishes but he could imagine I was up to all kinds of more interesting (for him) things. I could have fake phone conversations to really get him thinking, the mind fuck.

The Double Standard Kept Among Men

The double standard – where men have sex and are called studs and the women they have sex with are called sluts. It’s not news.  However, I started wondering about how the double standard continues to thrive.

It’s a common joke for the young man to phone/ text the young woman but find her Father on the phone instead. The Father is less than pleased by the young man’s sexual attitude towards his daughter. The young man is flustered and apologizes. Often in these jokes it’s not the Father after all. So we think all is well.

Why is all well?

A moment ago the young man was apologizing, feeling under threat, etc. If all is so well what was the reason for the upset?

Is he disrespecting the Father but not the daughter? How does that work out?

I think it’s a double standard between men. Passed on from generation to generation of men. Don’t screw my daughter. Yet, every woman has a Father somewhere. Every daughter (once she has sex) must then become a slut in her Father’s eyes and every young man must be dishonouring every daughter to her Father. If not why would there be any conflict between her Father and her boyfriend/ lover?

What do you think?


Will Sex Robots Leave Human Sex Workers Unemployed?

I began to wonder how sex robots would change things for sex workers as I was reading yet another post about female sex robots and their orifices. For men, it seems sex robots are not very different from sex workers, neither are quite human. Beyond the sex worker issue, however, will the availability of sex robots have a big impact on sex work for human sex workers?

I know, people claim men want human interaction. Sex workers say a lot of their job isn’t actually sex. I think it’s all in your perspective of what is sex and what is not. If you’re talking about sex, catering to a client, that’s still along the lines of sex. It’s not a regular conversation with ups and downs about life, the universe and everything. In spite of what men say, in my experience, they want sex. The human element is annoyingly in the way. A woman can say no. A sex worker might say no, or ask for more money.

Sex robots seem ideal for men in this way.  It’s like having your porn and eating it too. Store your sex robot in a closet when you’re done, likely they can even be self-cleaning.

  • Instead of a paying for phone sex – talk dirty to the sex bot.
  • Instead of going out and picking up a sex worker, just pull the sex bot out from under the bed.
  • Instead of looking at online porn and paying for it, dress up your sex bot and do whatever you want to it.

What do you think?

How to Be a Good Sex-Work Client

Do you know the right etiquette for hiring a sex worker? The final point on this list covers all the others really. To make it simple and easy to remember, treat them with some respect and consideration. Not so different from any other business situation really is it? You may be the client in this transaction but you’re still a guest in someone’s life. You’re only paying for their time and service – you don’t get to be a jerk.

  • DO: Give out your real name and phone number.
  • DON’T: Ask a lot of personal questions.
  • DON’T: Think of it as simply paying for sex.
  • DO: Think of it as any other appointment.
  • DON’T: Show up drunk or high.
  • DO: Treat him or her with the same respect you’d afford any other sex partner.

Read the full post: Do This, Not That: How not to be rude at the gym or on the Metro, how to ask for pot or hire a sex worker—and go ahead, ask someone what they do for a living: An etiquette guide for life in D.C. – Washington City Paper

Loyalty from Sex Workers

Why do men expect/ want loyalty from sex workers?

I had heard of the idea at some point but it didn’t catch my attention until last week. I was having a talk with Gracie (from Sex Kitten) about another site and problems with phone sex men. Gracie likes phone sex men. But, Gracie is a professional and liking them is something she chooses to do. It’s also something she gets paid for.

buy sex work

What loyalty does a paid sex worker owe to a client?

How long should any loyalty last?

Should she only be loyal to the clients who pay extra for it?

Of course, there is the question of which man she should be loyal to first? What if the sex worker goes home and becomes a wife, friend with benefits or girlfriend and considers her loyalty to her clients null and void?

Does any of this occur to the men who hire sex workers, including phone sex and anyone else they pay for sexual favours?

To me it seems a self centred thing. But, worse it is likely to leave these men disillusioned.

In short, if you pay for sex you get what you pay for and not more than that. You don’t pay by the minute and get a whole lot of loyalty.

Addendum: Read Gracie’s reply to this post.

How to Have Good Phone Sex

Phone sex or sexting, isn’t just for professionals. Play with it, have some fun and tease your partner over the phone.

Put yourself in the right mood for it.

Consider running soft music in the background and set the lights low. Actually wear something that makes you feel sexy and in the mood.

Get your equipment ready, I mean your phone.

Power up the battery. Clean the thing off too. You don’t want to be distracted by phone gunk.

Clear your schedule.

Interruptions will spoil the mood and likely cause embarrassment too.

Plan ahead.

Your partner should be expecting you call too, or you should at least be sure won’t be put in an embarrassing situation either.

Whisper or speak softly.

Speaking softly sets the mood in a way you can’t with lighting when you’re on the phone.

Describe, don’t tell.

You’ve only got words so have some great descriptive narration. “What are you wearing?” is just a start. Compliments and affection work well too.

My Reply to the Bell Customer Satisfaction Survey

The service rep was very nice, spoke well and so. However, an appointment was made to install the TV service for this morning. I waited home until noon when I phoned to see if the tech was running late. No one phoned me to let me know. I was told I had no appointment for the install. Yet I do have a confirmation # which the rep looked up and apologized for the problem. I was not especially surprised as this is at least the THIRD time Bell has done this to me. I was left on hold to be transferred to someone who would help me today. However, I waited on hold about 10 – 15 minutes and then the call was disconnected. Not by me. At this point I was feeling pretty angry but when I phoned back I did my best to be polite. On this second call I was told I would be phoned by someone TODAY to confirm the order they were supposed to actually be here to install TODAY. I do not have a cell phone so I have waited here all day now for NOTHING!!! Bell has not phoned me about anything, certainly not about confirming the order or apologizing for screwing up. Yes, the Bell reps speak well and are polite. But, I am so extremely tired of the screw ups and so really fed up with platitudes which mean nothing to me. Actions speak louder than words. Bell charges me $2.00 each month just to get a bill from them. This aggravates me, especially when there are ads included. So I am actually paying to get spam from Bell. I doubt an actual human being is reading this. Likely it is just a computer scanning words. Bell does not care about customers obviously. I don’t know why I’m giving Bell more of my time. I will be cancelling the TV order tomorrow when I am less upset and angry. I may cancel everything – it would save me a LOT of stress. No other company I deal with has been this difficult with misleading me, lying to me and all the rest. I like Bell’s actual service. But, having the service is far too much stress and has caused me to lose time at work which puts my job at risk each time Bell makes these non-existent appointments and then expects me to just take another day off for another appointment after they screw up. If an actual human being is reading this would you want to be a Bell customer if this was the day you had today? Not me.

Sorry for the block of text. I could have fixed it when I decided to post it. But, it kind of suits the block format. Like a blockhead in a trap.

It’s almost 4:30 now. Too late to expect a call from Bell. So, just more misinformation or can we just call it a lie because it feels that way to me.

The Train Not Taken

Originally posted: November 17, 2006

He was on the train again. The guy with a shaved head, charcoal grey suit this time and a red silky looking scarf. No hat, he never wore a hat no matter how much it snowed or rained. I always watched him, shy, from my seat. Sometimes he noticed me, sometimes he didn’t.

I hadn’t seen him this past week. One whole week of commuting without seeing him. I had nearly cried on Friday night, thinking he must have moved or changed jobs and I would never have the chance to meet him now. I regretted not doing something, even something really dumb.

But, there he was back again. Same shaved head, same suit and that same smiley face. He was just one of those people who seemed to smile easily. Sometimes he had conversations with the people around his seat. He laughed easily too and it was a laugh that made me smile, even on the hardest days when I felt worn down to a stub of myself.

I had to meet him tonight, finally. I couldn’t let another day pass by. Maybe he had moved and today was one last trip on the old commuter train. My palms were slick and my stomach in knots but I just had to do something this time.

I knew I looked ok, not one of my better days for looks but it wasn’t too bad. Hopefully I didn’t get too wind blown while I was waiting at my stop for the train. I couldn’t quite dare reach up to pat my hair, he might look over at just that moment. Continue reading The Train Not Taken

A Male Phone Sex Operator?

I’m not a guy so it’s not for me in that way. But, it was interesting to read. Not so keen on the idea of dating a male phone sex operator – if it came up. For one thing, how could you really trust that he wasn’t gay or would later decide he really wasn’t straight but thanks for your time and the childbirth. Anyway, the article was an interesting read. I would never have thought women would phone a sex service. I can’t imagine doing that and not feeling more alone and used afterwards.

What do you think about men performing/ selling phone sex?

The Good Men Project: Seven Things I Learned as a Male Phone Sex Operator