Ads For Period Underwear Go Too Far

I know we’re expected to just jump up and accept everything related to sexuality these days but… I have a mind of my own. Not a popular thing, kind of a collector’s item these days.

I agree with these ads being censored. At the very least they could be edited with consideration for the children, elderly and others who all ride subways and travel about in cities and towns (places with sidewalks in general).

Men may object to any mention of periods and menstruation (or breasts as anything other than sex objects). But, they aren’t the only people who don’t want to see ads for period underwear.

I don’t want to see most of these ads while standing on a subway platform surrounded by the general public. The state of my underwear and whether or not I’m OTR (on the rag, as my brother calls it) is my business only. Private. Hence, the whole private parts thing.

I also don’t want children to see sexual images like the blush pink orange sections or the weird dripping egg. Children may not connect the dots on these images but I am and I’m not liking having them around. Or that woman leaning back in her chair, wearing just underwear. Who does that on any kind of normal day? Is she having cramps, falling asleep or trying to orgasm while seated? Then there’s the piano bench woman… is she supposed to be suicidal from blood loss? In short, this is not for public consumption.

Why not keep it plain and simple? The image of the woman in the sweater and the text without the extra comments/ editorial. Why isn’t that enough? Is the purpose of the ad to sell underwear to women, sell porn to men, sell sex while on your period or just upset the general population including women who can’t have children, have lost children, have started menopause, etc. It’s not just children I’m thinking of.

I don’t have a problem with the ads appearing. They sell condoms in plain view. Porn can be bought at most newstands. I miss the old days when people still kept a few secrets about their privates. I wish they would!

We’re annoyed they even considered censoring this in the first place.

Source: The NYC Subway Actually Considered Banning Ads For Period Underwear | Her Campus

#DommeGirlProblems 

I was reading @Slutty Girl Problems on Twitter and thought… What about #DommeGirlProblems? So I’m starting with a few ideas to see where it goes.

  • I left him gagged an extra hour while I read a chapter of my book. Shouldn’t I feel guilty? #DommeGirlProblems
  • Man drool on the new shoes I let him buy me! #DommeGirlProblems
  • This time I really did lose the key… can I just pretend I’m faking it again? #DommeGirlProblems
  • I’m too tired to spank him tonight. Why can’t he just spank himself? #DommeGirlProblems
  • I have to go home early… I left my husband in his cage. #DommeGirlProblems
  • People don’t understand, it’s not about sex, it’s about power. #DommeGirlProblems
  • Men ask and beg to serve me then tell me what they want me to do for them. #DommeGirlProblems
  • Coming up with punishment ideas he actually won’t enjoy. #DommeGirlProblems
  • Trying fetishes and kinky ideas to please him. #DommeGirlProblems
  • Being expected to perform to his schedule because he wants to serve me. #DommeGirlProblems
  • High heels, tight clothes and toys are expensive and not what I really want. #DommeGirlProblems
  • Really cleaning up after his idea of cleaning for his pleasure. #DommeGirlProblems
  • Being thought cruel by others and being told I’m not cruel enough by him. #DommeGirlProblems
  • Playing along, performing, finishing the scene long after I’ve lost any real interest in what I’m doing. #DommeGirlProblems
  • Being told I didn’t do it all like a real FemDom as seen in porn online. #DommeGirlProblems

 

What can a Domme Learn from Porn?

What can you use from porn to your own BDSM pleasure with your sub missive man?

Talk to the Camera

Talk about what you’re doing, before and during the time you are doing it. Announce your intentions, but take your time actually doing anything. Anticipation works wonders. Work with sensory deprivation, like a blindfold, to add drama and suspense.

Get into Costume

Dress for it. I don’t mean the standard fetish wear but dress up. Pick something you feel sexy wearing. Tight jeans, reveal a lot of cleavage, silky lingerie, you know what makes you feel good. When you feel sexy you will enjoy everything more and so will he.

Love what you’re Doing

Act like you’re enjoying it. If you aren’t actually enjoying what you are doing then change what you are doing, or how you are doing it. Your sub man wants to feel you want him and sex with him. Even if you won’t be having sex (due to chastity for instance) make him feel wanted.

 

Will Sex Robots Leave Human Sex Workers Unemployed?

I began to wonder how sex robots would change things for sex workers as I was reading yet another post about female sex robots and their orifices. For men, it seems sex robots are not very different from sex workers, neither are quite human. Beyond the sex worker issue, however, will the availability of sex robots have a big impact on sex work for human sex workers?

I know, people claim men want human interaction. Sex workers say a lot of their job isn’t actually sex. I think it’s all in your perspective of what is sex and what is not. If you’re talking about sex, catering to a client, that’s still along the lines of sex. It’s not a regular conversation with ups and downs about life, the universe and everything. In spite of what men say, in my experience, they want sex. The human element is annoyingly in the way. A woman can say no. A sex worker might say no, or ask for more money.

Sex robots seem ideal for men in this way.  It’s like having your porn and eating it too. Store your sex robot in a closet when you’re done, likely they can even be self-cleaning.

  • Instead of a paying for phone sex – talk dirty to the sex bot.
  • Instead of going out and picking up a sex worker, just pull the sex bot out from under the bed.
  • Instead of looking at online porn and paying for it, dress up your sex bot and do whatever you want to it.

What do you think?

Pick Your Adventure, Domme Style

My boyfriend has recently told me he’s always wanted a femdom. I keen on doing this for him, but I’m not sure how to go about it. What kind of dirty talk do femdoms use, and would I get him to do anything I want him to do and not things he would want to do for me?

Fake, or not? This is one of those borderline comments. Even if it is comment spam, the question is at least relevant.

First, FemDoms may use a book of instructions but there is no guarantee we will follow them.

That’s the difference between being a FemDom (I prefer Domme) or a paid sex worker. Your rules – your way, mostly. Of course, you don’t set fire to him or anything extreme you may do in a fit of anger and regret later. You also take his wishes into account.

Dirty talk is a fetish. Do you like it? If so, try it out in reality and see if both of you like it. Maybe it sounded, or looked, good in pornography but doesn’t work out so well in actuality. I don’t really like dirty talk. I’d have more fun coming up with punishments for a dirty talker than being a dirty talker. But, I would not encourage dirty talk just for the sake of getting “punishment”.

When I think punishment, it is not in quotation marks. It’s real, it’s not all that pleasant or enjoyable. Punishment does not have to be something awful, painful or extreme. The best punishments are something he doesn’t like, would rather avoid but isn’t allergic to. This is where you need to know your boy, his likes and dislikes. What makes him squirm, twitch or need to be rushed to the hospital?

Secondly, what doesn’t he want to do for you?

Why doesn’t he want to do it? Does he have a good, valid and acceptable reason? Pour yourself a nice glass of wine (or coffee in my case as I don’t care for wine that much). Leave your boy to write out a list of reasons why he won’t do what you want him to do. Ask for at least 50 reasons, or however long it takes for you to enjoy that glass of wine without having to share any.

On the other hand, what do you want him to do?

Have a list of your own, prepare ahead.

  • Learn how to give a manicure and pedicure and then pamper you once he has mastered the skills and bought the right colours of nail polish?
  • Clean kitchen, garage, bathroom and muck out the inside of the oven until it sparkles to your satisfaction?
  • Make dinner (from your menu choices), clean up and then become your chauffeur for a night out with the girls?
  • Be your silent, unmoving, foot stool while you watch the TV shows he usually whines about having to watch with you?
  • Polish and wax your car and perform minor repairs, oil changes, etc?

The list is as endless as you want it to be. If he doesn’t want to do something he needs to give good reasons for it. He isn’t running the show – that’s the point of Dom versus sub. Pleasing him isn’t going to work unless you (the Domme) are pleased as well.

So you need to know what pleases you. It may have nothing to do with sex, fetishes or being kinky. Or, cater his kinky desires to your own needs, wants and desires. If he wants to perform domestic service – give him an apron. If he wants to be humiliated – shine a spotlight on him and you don’t even need to say a word. If he wants to sniff your feet – give him your shoes and boots to clean and polish first (no spit shine!).

Do you want to see him squirm? Do you want to tease him? Then play with him but in your own way. What would be fun for you? Make it last. Torment him. Tease him and keep him guessing. Make sure it doesn’t get monotonous for you though. Toss in a few surprises along the way. Or just end things when you’ve had enough. Choose how things end for him and yourself. Do you want an orgasm? Should he be allowed to have a “happy ending”? You, the Domme, decides.

Beginners Guide for Becoming a Male Submissive

The BDSM experience is different for men and women, in several ways. Women are more careful about meeting men. Women may be looking for romance and affection, a relationship while men really just want sex. Women tend to get pushed into things they really don’t want to do, in order to keep the peace.

I often read people (men) claiming women into Domming are rare. In my experience this is not true. I encounter many women who would enjoy Domming men, if they could find one who meets their needs.

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Being a male submissive may not be what you think it is at all

There are very few men who understand what a Dom woman is looking for, what she actually wants. She does not want to be the Dom you see in pornography. If you are looking for a woman to fulfill all your porno fantasies of what male submission should be… pay for it. Professional sex workers will dress the part and read from whatever script you want, do it your way (as long as safety is considered) and give you what you want as you expect to have it.

Real women who Dom, just because they want to, will want to do things their own way. Real women Doms have their own fantasies, their own desires and plans for play, teasing, romance, seduction, torment and all their own fetishes and kinks. They will want you to please them and that may not include any of the fetishes and kinks you have been fantasizing about.

A real woman may not want a man slobbering on her shoes or expecting to wear her underwear, for instance.  Some women may like the idea of training men to submit while others think they should already be house broken.

Worship and begging may not appeal to her. For myself, both of these are a turn off. The real appeal of having a male submissive is that he be a man, strong, clever, manly and yet my submissive. Retain your dignity and be a male submissive worth having and keeping.

Before you Begin…

Decide if you actually want the reality.

Do you want a woman telling you what to do? Are you willing to be disappointed when she isn’t interested in doing what you want, the way you want it? Will you let her lead or will you try to pressure her into giving you what you want instead?

Do not manipulate your Dom. Yes, it is fun to have the erotic play of teasing, denial, struggling and so on… but it should be sincerely part of the fun and not “topping from the bottom”. Two people sincerely invested in D/s can have a lot of fun, pleasure and explorations. If you top from the bottom (manipulate your Dom) you cheat yourself from ever having the real experience of submitting, serving and discovering the pleasure of being a male submissive in reality.

Also, no Dom woman likes to be manipulated. We get this from almost every so-called male sub on dating sites and etc. It is very discouraging. If you wonder why there are so few women into Domming – this would be the number one reason.

If you can’t let go of your expectations then consider paying for what you want and getting it from a McDomme (paid to do it your way).

What are you really willing to do?

Too many men have a list of fetish and kink ideas but no thoughts about the reality. This is especially a bad idea when it comes to health and safety. There are several things which will sound good on paper or turn you on when you watch a video… but reality is not like that. Reality is messier, reality is less planned and professional, less perfect and reality has accidents and misunderstandings.

Never say you are willing to do anything/ everything. Because you aren’t. No one is – unless it’s make believe and pretend.

Read about the reality of your fetishes and kinks. Instead of watching the porn find someone who really has done it and read about their experience. What went wrong, what didn’t work and how did they learn to do it better or another way. Research the reality. Even if you have no experience you can read the experience of others (just not the porn version).

Consider safety and be practical about it

If you have issues such as allergies, a phobia, dislikes put together a list of these issues. Personally, I don’t like having something close around my neck or mouth because I grew up with asthma. I’m also allergic to animals which limits the places and people I can spend time with to some extent. These are things to be aware of, for yourself and the woman Dom you would like to meet.

Although safety and health are more up to the Dom in a D/s relationship you can’t expect her to know your needs, read your mind or use telepathy to know there is a problem.

Safe words are not that reliable. If there is a real problem, something sudden, you need communication which won’t be forgotten in the moment or confused with something else.  A direct safe word, like stop, is better than trying for some secret code you may not remember when you need it. If you use the safe word for effect rather than actually needing it the play stops anyway. Respect the safe word – it’s not a game.

Communicate and talk about anything you plan to do. Start simple and leave yourself room to back out or change the plan. you may think you want to start with the hard stuff but discover your feelings were far more involved when it was actually happening. It is possible to discover you  have a phobia or intense dislike you didn’t know you had until you tried something. This can be especially true with bondage. Actually being confined is not just as you imagine it to be. Explore and experiment with baby steps and savour the experiences as you go.

Submission is not a gift

Years ago the idea that submission is a gift started in the online BDSM groups. This is not the right attitude. Domination is just as much a gift, if you want to consider either of them a gift at all.

You have chosen to submit and your Dom has chosen to lead you, to control you and to own you (up to a point). She is not likely to want to micro-manage you. Being the Dom is a responsibility. It’s not easy and it is not something to take lightly. People can get hurt physically, mentally and emotionally. Both of you need to communicate to prevent problems. The gift is the relationship itself, when you can find it.

Explore and discover

  • Try blindfolding yourself in your own bed. How does it feel? Does the blindfold itch? Do you feel peaceful?
  • Sit on your hands next time you’re alone watching TV. How long can you keep yourself in this self-bondage? How uncomfortable is it?
  • Sit under a table, let it become your cage. Does the confinement bother you? Do you feel snugly caged or just trapped?
  • Try being naked when you are home alone. With the blinds or curtains closed stand naked in front of the window. Even knowing no one can see you do you get a thrill or can you not even do it at all?
  • Buy a dog collar for yourself. No one has to know you don’t have a dog (or your dog won’t be wearing this one). Wear the collar but wrap it around your wrist the first day (not your neck).
  • Even before you have a Dom you can practice serving her tea. Dress up (she doesn’t want pubic hair in her tea cup), make a plate up with pretty treats and serve tea in a teapot with a fancy teacup and saucer for her.

The reality is much different from the fantasy. Reality isn’t the porn version because it’s not scripted and the people are not actors. However, you can actually be one of the people involved rather than watching and wishing from the sidelines. Just make sure you want the reality, imperfect but not impersonal.

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Not: A Beginner’s Guide to Dominance and Submission

Just grab a tie or scarf and tie your girl’s hands to the bed posts. Girls like getting pounded while being restricted, because it takes all the responsibility for “being bad” off her shoulders.

via – A Beginner’s Guide to Dominance and Submission.

Don’t just grab and tie up anyone. BDSM is not forced on someone or something you surprise someone with. Start much slower, gentler and find out if either or both of you even like how it feels to be tied up or to be the one who ties up the other.

Not every “girl” likes being pounded in any form and for sure, not every “girl” likes being pounded while restricted. Don’t believe generalizations unless your “girl” is sex doll you bought at the store, not a real person.

Being submissive is not about giving away responsibility. For men or women, both submissive and Dom are responsible for what happens between them and how they treat each other. Being Dom does not give you free reign to do as you please. Being submissive does not mean you give away all your rights and take whatever you are given. Besides, if someone feels bad about something they did, that feeling will not go away when the BDSM part of your time is over.

Please don’t “just grab” and think all is well. Any fear in BDSM should be pleasurable, not actual afraid for your life or safety fear. Aggression should be measured, planned and decided on before any grabbing starts. BDSM is not what you see in pornography. Leave porn to the professionals who walk away with a pay cheque for their time and trouble.

BDSM is not permission to abuse people.

Sex Spelling Still Counts

sex spelling countsvia billierosie: EXTRACT: MEMOIRS OF A SEX SLAVE: THE CONFESSIONS OF A SUBMISSIVE WOMAN.

 

Spelling doesn’t go away just because you’re selling sex.

This is one of the differences between porn and erotica for me. If you just write something to be jerked off to… the words and spelling don’t matter so much (I guess). But, if you want to write something with a story, with words people will actually read versus skim, then it does matter what you write and how you write it.