Nice to find this mostly forgotten blog by Erin Dunphy today. It all turned out well.
Source: 1000 Days of Celibacy
Nice to find this mostly forgotten blog by Erin Dunphy today. It all turned out well.
Source: 1000 Days of Celibacy
For me marriage has now become more of an servant relationship for me. Lately I’ve gotten much better at serving, I’m used to getting up earlier to make breakfast, take care of the home, I give excellent massage and oral sex has become a daily thing in my recent relationships. I know if I were to ever marry, the ring would symbolize not just a bond, but ownership. I’m not rushing to marry but if I ever do, I know I would be hers forever.
Sagittarius is represented by the Centaur, half-human, half-horse. Ever visit a stud farm during breeding season? Equines who are otherwise decent-enough working animals are insane with the urge to breed; the only thing standing between the animals’ urges and utter rutting chaos is the intervention of human handlers.
It’s lucky for the rest of us, then, that Sagittarius has its human handler built in — if they’ll stoop to obeying him or her, that is. The sex drive is strong, impulsive, and somewhat conquest-oriented, and some Centaurs end up with more notches on their bedposts than Virgo has little pills.
Sagittarius has the ability to easily separate sex from emotion. Security and intimacy are important to Sagittarius, but are not necessarily linked to their fiery physical drives. Spontaneous sexual adventures and one-night stands are usually guilt-free; Sagittarians hate restrictions of all kinds, and the occasional bout of unrestrained sexual freedom can be deeply satisfying in a way that other signs might not readily understand.
Sagittarians also make fantastic sex workers, especially if the job calls for live action on demand. They’re not necessarily the show-offs of the sex industry, but practicality and physical vigor more than make up for any lack of showmanship.
This is a mutable sign, and its ruler Jupiter lends a cavalier streak — Sagittarius will try anything once. They’re not fond of labels (labels equal limits) but will sometimes compromise outwardly in order to maintain security at home. Hence, you find a large number of naturally pansexual Sagittarians maintaining the appearance of a monosexual relationship, while dallying elsewhere with members of both sexes. They’re also attracted to the idea of open relationships, but, like their opposing sign Gemini, sometimes find even open agreements tough to keep; restrictions are restrictions, after all, no matter how generous!
Oddly enough, Sagittarius tends to pick up specific fetishes more readily than any other sign except for Virgo. Stocking fetishes, latex fetishes, more esoteric fetishes like pony play or other role-specific “musts” … you name it, a Sagittarius will adopt it, at least for a little while. The difference between Virgo and Sagittarius is persistence; a Centaur’s fetishistic interests tend to fade abruptly. This sign explores things thoroughly, yes, but then moves on to the next unexplored sexual arena with little warning and even less regret.
Both Mars and Venus in Sagittarius are equally prone to this adventurous outlook on sex. The Sagittarian Sun shares it, too, but most Centaur Suns tend to settle down eventually, and turn their expansive urges toward less physical conquests. No Sagittarian can tolerate excessive restrictions, though, no matter how settled they seem. Confinement is always uncomfortable, and when the horizon of possibilities begins shrinking around them, it’s only a matter of time before they react, with all the desperation of a claustrophobic mustang in a broom closet.
If you’re the kind of person who values spontaneity, adventure and fiery independence over certain security, you’ll love Sagittarius. Give them plenty of room to explore all the fascinating experiences life has to offer, and you’ll have a lover who is affectionate, playful and vital. Try to fence them in, and all you’ll have is an empty paddock. Think you can handle this free spirit? If you can, it’ll be the ride of a lifetime.
This is an interesting list. I read it as men wanting forgiveness when they don’t meet a woman’s needs but still expect sex and intimacy in spite of all that.
What women want:
1. Loving devotion in a committed relationship.
2. Thoughtful, honest behavior.
3. Generosity of spirit.
4. Satisfying sex.
What men want:
Look at where sex comes in on both lists. If women were getting more commitment, appreciation and romance, sex would be higher on their list too.
Maybe a new Viagra for women isn’t going to change anything. (Just a thought).
On the other hand, reading just the men’s list, they seem to want to be Teflon. Have sex, forget about us, be forgiven and appreciated for… what exactly?
Now men will protest and say I’m unfair. So lets read down the women’s list the same way. Women seem to want someone they can appreciate and then have sex with. Women want a man to be with them, be honest and share life with them – that’s the person they could appreciate and have sex with. Funny that appreciation is at the bottom of the list for men. Don’t men care what we think?
See, it is an interesting list.
I know people who will only play online. They say they are into BDSM but I don’t agree. They are missing two important parts of the whole BDSM relationship. The actual parts which make it a relationship.
Is that why they don’t want to have anything real? If it were real, would that make it too real for them?
So what are they missing, you may be wondering. First, the reality. How does it really feel to experience your fantasies, fetishes and kinks? How does it feel physically, emotionally and mentally. Second, the after care.
BDSM online doesn’t involve aftercare. It’s all over once the climax happens. Each person leaves, some leave even before the end, some leave right after the end and some make excuses (not always polite) and leave.
It’s so easy to leave that way. You don’t have a real connection, just an Internet connection. Nothing like a real relationship where you share the same space emotionally, mentally and physically.
No wonder people doubt the sincerity and authenticity of online play. It really isn’t actually real. Not just the lack of commitment but the lack of real contact at all. Online play lacks real involvement, responsibility and shared emotion. No matter what anyone thinks or feels, it is all one sided.
I know because I have done online play. Not dabbled in it but actually spent months and years playing that way. I defended it then too. But, I knew reality was very different. I had reality with my husband. (No I was not cheating on him, we weren’t married very long and I played before and after).
Online play is lonely.
Online play leaves you wanting more. That only works in show business. Wanting more is not good when it happens to you. It makes you needy, clingy and very sad.
Anyway, it’s a shame there is no aftercare with online play. It could make all the difference to the people involved. But, I think that is the attraction for most of them. Even as they yearn for something real they don’t want to give anything real to someone else. They seek care but want it all for themselves. Is that why there are so many more women as BDSM submissives than Domme online?
So many interesting questions and I’m just here talking to myself. But, it’s real. Until I find someone who can share something real with me I’d rather be alone than feel even more alone while I’m with someone else.
Once a BDSM scene has physically ended, the connection between Dom and sub is still very much active, learn how best to deal with aftercare.
The real question is – How do Wookies type with all that hair on their fingers? Once you get past that go ahead and read the questions and answers Kilted Wookie posted for this distinguished award in blogging neatness. To follow are the questions I answered when it was my turn and last – the questions and nominees I’ve passed this award along to.
- How did you come across your blogging persona?
- What inspired you to write your first blog?
- What is your greatest unfulfilled fantasy/dream?
- What has blogging taught you about yourself?
- How many “real life” people know you are a blogger and how did it make you feel when you discovered they knew?
- Lights on or off?
- What do you normally wear in bed?
It’s not really a persona. Somewhere between being contrary, curious and painfully honest I am just being myself. But, we are all full of ourselves, lots of niches and unexpected surprises. So, it’s not too hard to be myself and yet be different from who I am when I’m not thinking about relationships, men or anything related.
The other reason I don’t try to keep up a persona: it’s just too complicated! I know people who blog with several personas over several sites in different niches. I just don’t want to make my brain work that hard to figure out who I am.
My first blog was on something other than GeoCities (which Yahoo bought out) back in 1996. I loved the free writing, the derring-do of doing anything as long as you could understand enough HTML to do it!
On top of that, it was liberating to write and talk about sex, kinks and fetishes. I didn’t blog about that until a bit later. Back then I was having a great time as an IRC diva. I met a lot of the early online BDSMer’s. I did things online that people don’t seem to do online any more. Or, not nearly as well. In those early days the men were more fun and didn’t always offer you photos of their penis.
I began writing about my IRC adventures just for fun. We played a lot of truth or dare and we played live BDSM scenes and events too. I was involved in BDSM auctions as the seller, buyer and the auctioneer – I was up there being sold too. It was a great group and I wish I hadn’t lost touch with all of them. But.. Dommed if you do; Dommed if you don’t. Years later I wrote for the red light zone at BackWash.com but the whole network has been gone for years now. That was another good community.
The simple wish for someone to grow old with. I think that is the hardest fantasy to fulfill.
I don’t really have an answer for that. Blogging (writing) has gotten me through rough times in my life. Did I learn anything? Seems not, I keep doing the same stuff over again and expecting something to be different. But, I don’t think I’m insane, just contrary.
I guess I have learned that pushing yourself to be perfect and make everyone else content is just a way to burn yourself out. I still haven’t learned it well enough to stop trying to be perfect. With blogging you really do have to write for yourself, no matter what all the SEO guru regurgitate in all their blogs.
They all know because I told them. It’s not a deep, dark secret. I even told them I write adult content (fiction and non-fiction). Recently (this year) it came up in conversation and my family were surprised I write about sex. Then they remembered they had forgotten about it. So, not much drama there.
I don’t introduce myself as a sex blogger. I decide when to pop it into the conversation or if to mention it at all.
Weirder than the blogging thing is having posted your photo in your Fetlife profile then have a man you don’t know approach you in the grocery store in town – and he knows your name!
You can’t turn the lights off in the day. It doesn’t matter to me. Lights off is nice because I can take off my eye glasses and not see any better or worse in the dark. Lights on is good – less chance of poking him in the eye, etc.
I love long nightgowns. Some are soft cotton, some are silky, slinky satin but the longer the better, with sleeves too. I like something luxurious that will sway along with me when I walk. Assorted colours: deep red, dark pink, jewel tones of green and blue, soft yellow, orange… etc.
I know women who wear underwear and bras to bed, I’ve never done that. It’s enough to wear all that stuff day to day. The evenings are my time to feel decadent, romantic like a woman from long ago, but with the modern conveniences of indoor plumbing.
Gracie at Sex Kitten @GraciePassette
Submissive Guy Comics @SGCposts
A Bad Gentleman @abadgentleman
A Slip of a Girl @SlipOfAGirl
Rose at Ruined Boudoir @RuinedBoudoir
It seems backwards. To look for comfort, companionship and a relationship with a doll while looking for sex only from actual (physically real) women.
Women complain that men just want sex. Women want to find a man who is also looking for a relationship, comfort and companionship.
On paper or online men say they want a relationship. But, when (in my own experience) you go on a date with them they really only talk about sex, fetishes, and sexuality. I guess they plan on going home to Dolly for conversation and a cuddle afterwards.
But real people, real friends, and real life are worlds more complex than everything these apps (and their infinite cousins) attempt to imitate. When “real life” is peppered with men at bars raising their fists to you; or male friends slinging pick-up lines that will never work before your eyes; or the knowledge that no space is purely safe for a woman to just be, we can’t rely on robotic dating apps to sort and harmonize our relationships with men. But it’s not totally the apps’ fault: we have to wonder what’s wrong with the men.
via – Tinder Is Dead.
I’ve never used Tinder. I really just added the conclusion to the post because I had to post the screen capture of that one part of the post. It is her re-post of something a man sent her on Tinder. Online dating seems pretty futile on a good day but something like this… it has to make you laugh (or cry later when you think it might be okay to be alone after all).
Originally posted to Sex Kitten (2003 – 2004)
What is your body for? Some people might think it’s a mode of transportation for their brain. Some people might think it’s something to be used to lure men to their doom, like the legendary sirens. Some might talk about procreation, having babies, continuing the species, all that sort of stuff. Some others might think it’s just advertising in motion.
Whatever it’s for, do you know much about how it works? How do breasts make milk for babies? Why does your vagina leak even when you aren’t having an orgasm? Why do women have hair in odd places where only men should have hair? These and other questions can be answered if you care to find out. Most young women don’t know about milk ducts, or how the vagina cleans itself by leaking mucus. They don’t know what makes a woman’s breasts start having milk. Why are they so ignorant?
I think it’s because we are so focused on making women’s bodies into sex toys that we have forgotten there is a real purpose for women being different from men. It’s not just a way to turn them on. No, Virginia, there really is a vagina, not just a pussy.
Women have babies, that’s the whole point of that period thing women get monthly. Women feed babies, that’s why we have those pair of lumps stuck to the front of us. Women give birth to babies that’s why our hips tend to be wider than men’s. No, it’s not all there to sell cars, sorry, you have been sadly misinformed.
The saddest thing of all is that so many women are getting breast implants. A breast implant turns what starts out as a natural thing into nothing but a sex toy. Once implanted with those plastic bags of goop a breast can no longer function for breast feeding a baby. Is that such a small price to pay for having the biggest hooters. Is that all there is? Is that all you want to be?
Real women have breasts, not tits. Real women have a vagina, not a love tunnel. Real women are women, not sex toys or a great marketing campaign. They might not be size 2 with a D cup bra but I can tell you one thing, real women live for themselves, they don’t wait around for some man to approve.
I’ve broken up with women who wouldn’t perform certain things.
A man who would break up with a woman over sex acts was never really with that woman in the first place, so no great loss to her.
But, what about all these men? Looking for porn stars and not relationships, not close to anyone in any meaningful or real way. There will be a lot of lonely men, addicted to porn online and living alone.
I think it’s sad. I also wonder why do men get addicted to porn so easily? Why don’t they see the addiction coming, why don’t they understand the difference between the performance of pornography and the reality?
Women don’t seem to get addicted to porn.
Most women are looking for more than sex acts when they want to meet men. We don’t tend to have a laundry list of kinky sex acts and fetishes which we bring out when we go on a date or meet someone new online. Women are interested in kinky sex, fetishes and having good sex but we want reality. We think of it in terms of something real.
How is pornography such a different experience for men? Why do they settle for so much less emotionally and intellectually but expect so much more physically?