Against Homophobia

My nephew is a 16 year old boy/ young man in high school. His generation has very different issues from mine, when I was in high school. I remember the campaigns about not doing drugs. His school has campaigns about accepting homosexuality, promoting it as an option. Quite different from the years of campaigning against teens having sex at all.

I think about the issue of homosexuality, not as pro or con but how it has grown and been shoved at us to the point where almost no one dares to say anything against it. If you aren’t pro homosexulaity you are afraid it, homophobic. This is as silly as saying someone against smoking has a fear of cigarettes. I think the fear does come into play as people are not allowed to speak out against the issue of homosexuality, without facing backlash and being accused of being some kind of bigot, snob, or worse. I haven’t heard of anyone beating up homosexuals in the streets in many years. Now, the reverse seems more likely. Speaking your opinion in any way not supporting homosexuality and the other gender options is likely to get you beat up, at least verbally.

Anyway, I do think about the whole thing, as it pertains to the young people especially. I was once asked how I know I am not gay or bisexual. I gave it some thought. How do I know? When I think about having someone’s hands caressing my body in a loving/ sexual way they are a man’s hands. I don’t feel the same about a woman. Yes, I could be turned on by a woman, just as I could be turned on using a sex toy. But, is using a sex toy the same as a lover? Not in my thinking. A man’s hands, the size and shape of them, the extra bit of hair on the back of the hands and knowing the man they

When Little Robots Attack

The first time I just hurt my foot when I stepped on one of the toy soldiers. I didn’t know how it had gotten into my room. Of course, I blamed my little brother. He had all the toys, especially miniature toy soldiers, robots and little green aliens. Some of them were cute. But, when I actually looked at the faces… they were threatening.

One morning I found one of the mini robots on my dresser and another on the floor below. My brother said he hadn’t been in my room and I kind of believed him. He’s a pretty good kid, for a little brother. I’m 9 years older so he doesn’t get away with much.

Anyway, I didn’t really think a lot about the little toys. I returned them to my brother and went on with life. I had a lot to do now, high school, friends and boys now that my parents were not treating me so much like a kid.

The night I found one in my bed… that was freaky. The sheets were still all pulled up, the bed wasn’t even rumpled. My brother couldn’t have done that. But, what could I tell anyone? I’d sound crazy. That was the week I was going to have the house to myself. I didn’t even have to babysit my brother because they were driving him out for some school weekend thing and staying over night to bring him home on Sunday.

I had friends over on Friday night. We made popcorn, watched movies my parents wouldn’t approve of. I don’t know why, they were pretty awful movies. After a few minutes we just kept laughing at how stupid they were.

Everyone went home. I went to bed, after cleaning up, of course.

I woke up, nude in my bed, my sheets and blankets pulled down past my feet. Little toy robots, aliens and soldier seemed to fill my room. Lined up along the top of my dressed, my night table and every other surface. I could see them on my book shelves, my computer desk. They were behind me on my headboard when I sat up.

I could see them, moving.

I dashed into the hall and locked myself in the bathroom. I would have called for my parents but I remembered I was alone. I don’t know what happened to my night gown. I didn’t want to call for help and have someone find me naked.

Then the first of the mini men started coming in, under the door.

Dress Code Enforced for School Girls

Yes, people should have the right to dress themselves. But, that doesn’t mean the school is wrong. People should also have the right to safety and the school is responsible for keeping the young people safe. It would be smarter for them to take part in that rather than rebel against it. This isn’t something the school is randomly deciding to do.

Boys wear long pants. Most of their body is covered. Why don’t young women dress more sensibly too? Why are they showing so much skin? When did young women start dressing like strippers while young men dress like modern, male nuns?

In the case of this girl (in the photo) the skirt doesn’t look too short. But, it must be a concern at the school. People are more into sex these days, talk about, view it in one way or another several times a day.

Very different from the days I was going to school and wearing skirts much like this. No one had little cameras to try get a look up my skirt. No one hung around the school hoping to zoom in if I flashed underwear in the playground.

Photo source: St Hild’s school orders girl pupils to wear tights with skirts to keep them SAFE | Daily Mail Online

Handsome Face for the Weekend: Yannick

I do like having a Canadian as the Handsome Face for the Weekend. In this case, I’ve been watching Yannick Bisson on Canadian television right from his early days. Getting older suits him. There is a confidence mixed with an open friendliness. He looks great in the vintage formal wear on Murdoch Mysteries (and Sue Thomas F.B. Eye) and as a cowboy on Nothing Too Good for a Cowboy.

Another great thing about him – he married his high school sweetheart and is still married to her 25 years, and 3 children, later. He likes being a family man, not just another pretty face.

Yannick Bisson on:

There is a Yannick Bisson Appreciation Society on Facebook. There are more fan sites but this one caught my attention.

About Sexual Rejection From Women

I’d add to Gracie’s post (see below) and say the hormones for men and women are on opposing sides. For men sex is pretty simple, you’re in and then your’re done. For women sex isn’t simple. Getting pregnant is just one thing.

Although I think it is changing for younger people, those just coming out of high school, women have been taught/ brain washed to dislike our bodies and think we should not have sex. That’s a combination that doesn’t work out so well for men who want simple, easy sex.

A typical woman does not go a day without seeing standards of female beauty, vitality and sexuality plastered all over her world. This does not make the typical woman feel desirable. No wonder she doesn’t feel like having sex any and every time he asks. How many men could go through a day of being shown how inadequate they are and then perform upon request?

Also, being asked for sex in a “pass the salt” way is not romantic. Not that every sexual encounter should or must be romantic, but… It shouldn’t be as commonplace as going to the bathroom either.

Could men put some effort into getting sex? Beyond just asking and expecting sex, could men make it seem like they care versus just taking care of a bodily function? If men need more sex then do what women have done since the dawn of time: masturbate. The orgasms are much better, fantasies are great, and there’s less mess to clean up. What do men think all those rejected women do when they get home, alone?

Dudes, your hormones (primarily, anyway) cycle every 24 hours; that, and not your love for us, is why you get a woody every morning. On the other hand, our cycle of hormones is a bit more complicated and lengthy than that; the result is that we are on far less of a “daily horny schedule” than men. And that’s before we get into realities like the processes of pregnancy and menopause. We don’t just age and change to disrupt your fantasies and desires; we ride the wild wave of our biology because that’s fucking life. Literally.

In a civilized culture, where humanity & good citizenry is defined largely by our ability to override our animal nature, hormones still have their way with us. Even amidst our culture wars and culture lag, they play their role. But, romance aside, if culture is to override such base things as biology, then something desperately needs to be done in terms of equality and the messages being sent to and about women.

Source: Hetero Men Complain About Sexual Rejection From Women. Really? | Sex~Kitten.net

The Alien at 50

In our culture it is very alienating to be 50. That age where it hits you that you may not even be middle aged now. Being young, from childhood to somewhere in the 30’s was such a different perspective. I didn’t see it then but I can see it now. Being in my 40’s was (so far) the best time of life for me. I felt ok and even good sometimes. I felt I was ok with myself.

Then, among the years I should have been 40-something, 50 hit me. It came down hard and clouded everything. Even when I could have been happy being 40-something that 50 hung over me, hovering like my personal rain cloud of doom.

In younger years I had read about actresses and such who said there were no roles for older women. I thought little of it. I could see older women in TV shows, movies, commercials, etc. Likely they were in theatre too if I cared to look.

But, the actresses said it wrong. It’s not that there aren’t roles for older women. It’s that there are so MANY roles for younger women, younger people.

Our culture is based on youth. Not just being young and looking it, but the parts of life which come in those younger years (traditionally): going to school, dating, marrying and having children. When I watch anything on TV now I am swarmed with the feeling of how much I don’t belong. How far I am past those parts of life. I don’t want to go back. I just want to be ok with where I am. But, it’s hard.

It’s hard to feel ok with being older when it seems we don’t exist, are expected to keep to ourselves and not be seen or heard. Unless it’s something to do with spending money like buying insurance, buying sedate vacations, buying pee pads (not for your period, whether you still get it or not).

I feel alienated in my own world. I don’t see where I fit in. I can talk to the younger generations. I don’t know their particulars any more: the music, the actors, etc. But, those are just entertainment. I know about life, having come through those younger years. But all my experience and knowledge is tainted by how younger people see me. I’m old. I don’t know the entertainment stuff so I’m relegated to being outdated, out of place and I don’t really understand how things are today.

Odd, but things aren’t all that different. People are born, go to school, try to get along in the world, get married, have babies (or not) and then…. it’s the long stretch of being there, but not getting in the way, until you’re finally as old as you feel.

I don’t feel old. I feel like me. I feel almost the same as I did when I was twenty. But, those are memories and I know that. No wonder we tend to look at the past more as we fall into the future where we don’t fit in and don’t have a place. In the past we had a place and the world was about us.

Now I’m an alien. Just because I’m 50.

If it weren’t for the perception of others (and my own awareness of time limits) I could believe I’m twenty. Young people expect being older to feel so different. It’s not. It’s almost exactly the same as feeling twenty. But, I look at those who are twenty and I can see a difference then. There is a shiny new-ness, an extra bounce and they’re just a bit quicker to laugh.

So maybe we do become an alien as we get older. Where is the mothership then? I’d like to find the other aliens and feel I belong again. I don’t like this feeling of being isolated among all the people I see every day.

The other thing I don’t like to think about is to look past myself and see those older than I am. Right now I may not feel I belong and I may feel like an alien… they look more alien. I worry about how I will still feel like myself when I start to look even less like myself and more alien to who I think I am.

Where is that mothership…?

Retro Internet: The 1500 Point Purity Test

Long ago, in the days of the Internet surfing highway, there was a purity test with over 1000 questions. I found a copy of it. Posted for your viewing (or take the test) pleasure.

THE UNISEX PURITY TEST

If you thought the millenial purity test was bad, well you ain’t see
nuttin’ yet!

This is the 1500 point Purity Test!

We felt that the 1000 point version lost a lot of the “fun” of the
earlier versions, so we re-wrote it, adding a few new sections, and
a shitload of questions. This test is guaranteed to be nosier that
your parents, more invasive than the census, and containing something
to offend everybody.

Also included is an answer form so that you can remember where in the
test you were, or show to a friend.

Continue reading Retro Internet: The 1500 Point Purity Test

Young Cock Versus Old Stud

Originally posted to Sex Kitten (2003 – 2004)

Better an old man’s darling or a young man’s slave?

I can understand how age difference works for some couples. One partner is established, mature while the other likes having someone to depend on, mentor them. One partner feels buoyed up by the youth and enthusiasm of the other. There are various scenarios, as many as there are people.

I don’t think a big age difference is for me. I’d like to have more in common for one thing. Life experiences, stage of life, thoughts, ideas, habits, taste in music, all are important things. I don’t want a younger man who I’d feel I’d have to keep up with or an older man who I’d feel I couldn’t catch up to.

Although I’d like some aspects of being with an older man, having that security, maturity and understanding from someone who has been there. There is emotional and financial stability which I have not had in my life so far. Still, I’d rather have a balance – an even playing field where we both want the same things at the same time.

I don’t want to rely too heavily or get to the point where I depend on someone to be there. That makes me less than I can be and takes away from some of the strength and independence I have developed for myself. Also, it puts a heavy load on the other person and no matter what someone may say at the time, no one really wants to be responsible for the happiness of another. We do not want to micro-manage another human being. We do not want to be leaned on too much. So, no one should look for someone in their life just to have someone they can lean on. There should be a lot more to create a couple, a relationship that will build and become something both partners can get something out of .

As for the younger guys, I am the oldest of four kids. I don’t really see myself taking another younger ‘brother’ seriously as a partner in life. Yes, I can listen to their ideas, consider them as adults, but I can’t see them as my equal, not really. It’s not that I am looking down on them, it’s just their date of birth. When someone says they were born in the 80’s I remember what I was doing then. I had quit high school and was working full time, keeping up my share of the rent on an apartment. Meanwhile, someone was changing their diaper. How can you really see that as a person you would take into the bedroom and make mad passionate love to? It makes me feel like a cradle robber or some old perverted woman.

When I turn it around and wonder what a younger man would look for in an older woman I think most are looking for someone to give them a security and mothering base or feeling. I don’t want to be that woman for the man I love. I don’t want to be a second mother or a cash cow. I want him to be madly in lust with me and laugh at all my jokes and want to spend time with me, until death. An older guy is likely thinking he will have more sex. Yet, the men I’ve met (mostly older) haven’t wanted sex as often as I have myself. So, I don’t see it working out, either way. On one side I am a second mother and the other I am a sex toy. Neither is allowing me to be a woman or giving me that companionship I am looking for with another human being.

Mainly, its about the stage of life I’m at. I don’t want to skip ahead to retirement or backtrack to beginning to find my place in the world. I want some one to share life with – where I’m at now.

Inspire Yourself

Originally posted to Sex Kitten (2003 – 2004)

We were given the topic “Inspirational Women” but all I could think of were the women in my life, those I admire and those I love. We all inspire someone, somewhere. Why don’t we give ourselves more credit?

Why do we get inspired by other women? Is it really due to their achievements or is there more to it? Do we see ourselves in their struggle and do we envy their success as we compare ourselves to them? I do, but then I think there is really no reason I can’t be making more successes in my own life, doing the things that matter to me. What holds some of us back? Why do we choose to go shopping, see something on TV or just never start all these great ideas and plans we have? Is it learned helplessness or do we just have so little faith in ourselves? Really, there isn’t any reason we can’t all be inspirational women. Maybe we already are, to someone.

Those inspirational women you read or think about mostly wouldn’t think of themselves that way. If you could go back in time as ask Amelia Earhart, Nellie McClung, Helen Keller, Boadicca, and Nellie Bly what made them inspirational I bet they would wonder too. Women tend to question our own achievements and see them as less than they really are. We compare ourselves to other women and see how much more we could be doing and then everything we have done seems smaller and less important. We cheat ourselves. Men don’t do that. They think every least thing they do is great and should be made note of. We call them cocky. Why aren’t we more like that? You don’t need a cock to believe in yourself and your abilities. Trust yourself, when no one is there for you, you are.

I admire women who are part of my everyday life yet I don’t think any of them would feel they belong on a list of inspirational women to be admired. I find my Grandmother and her sisters inspiring: Violet Scherle, Alice McRoberts, and the others, all deceased now. I find women I have contacted and worked with on the web inspiring: Deanna, Jade Walker, Bev Walton-Porter, Debbie Ohi for instance. Think of the early women doctors, the old midwives and herbalists who fought battles to do with family, career and a woman’s place in our world. I admire my Mother for being a Mom with four kids and a less than pleasant husband. As I grow older I understand her life and things she must have felt.

I admire women writers like: Shirley Jackson, LM Montgomery, Anne Morrow Lindbergh, Victoria Holt and Anne Stuart for their imagination and craft with words. I admire women pioneers like Susanna Moody and her sister Catherine Parr Traille. I admire women like Helen Keller and Kat at Sex Kitten who are fighting with health problems and winning. I admire my own sister, Sarah, for starting up her own business and keeping it going even though it’s very scary to have big debts, small children and an insecure income. I find Angela Comelli, a friend from high school inspiring cause she was beautiful (she literally turned heads as she walked down the street), very intelligent, witty and a lovely, kind person and she thought I was all those things too.

I think the women I find most inspiring are those who achieve their dreams while being single, working parents. Women who struggle to keep going after huge setbacks like a divorce, a death or whatever else comes along in life. I think we should all take some time to admire each other, for we have all faced trouble we thought we couldn’t survive and yet here we are, still working on keeping things together and creating our dreams too.

The Grass On the Other Side was Greener

Being Green (reprinted from Facebook)

Checking out at the store, the young cashier suggested to the older woman, that she should bring her own grocery bags because plastic bags weren’t good for the environment.

The woman apologized and explained, “We didn’t have this green thing back in my earlier days.”

The young clerk responded, “That’s our problem today. Your generation did not care enough to save our environment f or
future generations.”

She was right — our generation didn’t have the green thing in its day.

Back then, we returned milk bottles, soda bottles and beer bottles to the store. The store sent them back to the plant to be washed and sterilized and refilled, so it could use the same bottles over and over. So they really were truly recycled.
But we didn’t have the green thing back in our day.

Grocery stores bagged our groceries in brown paper bags, that we reused for numerous things, most memorable besides household garbage bags, was the use of brown paper bags as book covers for our schoolbooks. This was to ensure that public property, (the books provided for our use by the school) was not defaced by our scribblings. Then we were able to personalize our books on the brown paper bags.

But too bad we didn’t do the green thing back then.

We walked up stairs, because we didn’t have an escalator in every store and office building. We walked to the grocery store and didn’t climb into a 300-horsepower machine every time we had to go two blocks.

But she was right. We didn’t have the green thing in our day.

Back then, we washed the baby’s diapers because we didn’t have the throwaway kind. We dried clothes on a line, not in an energy-gobbling machine burning up 220 volts — wind and solar power really did dry our clothes back in our early days. Kids got hand-me-down clothes from their brothers or sisters, not always brand-new clothing.

But that young lady is right; we didn’t have the green thing back in our day.

Back then, we had one TV, or radio, in the house — not a TV in every room. And the TV had a small screen the size of a handkerchief (remember them?), not a screen the size of the state of Montana. In the kitchen, we blended and stirred by hand because we didn’t have electric machines to do everything for us. When we packaged a fragile item to send in the mail, we used wadded up old newspapers to cushion it, not Styrofoam or plastic bubble wrap. Back then, we didn’t fire up an engine and burn gasoline just to cut the lawn. We used a push mower that ran on human power. We exercised by working so we didn’t need to go to a health club to run on treadmills that operate on electricity.

But she’s right; we didn’t have the green thing back then.

We drank from a fountain when we were thirsty instead of using a cup or a plastic bottle every time we had a drink of water. We refilled writing pens with ink instead of buying a new pen, and we replaced the razor blades in a razor instead of throwing away the whole razor just because the blade got dull.

But we didn’t have the green thing back then.

Back then, people took the streetcar or a bus and kids rode their bikes to school or walked instead of turning their moms into a 24-hour taxi service. We had one electrical outlet in a room, not an entire bank of sockets to power a dozen appliances. And we didn’t need a computerized gadget to receive a signal beamed from satellites 23,000 miles out in space in order to find the nearest burger joint.

But isn’t it sad the current generation laments how wasteful we old folks were just because we didn’t have the green thing back then?

Please forward this on to another selfish old person who needs a lesson in conservation from a smart ass young person.