You don’t have to get back up. As if you were a rubber ball that can just bounce up from where ever it lands. Don’t rush to get up or feel pressured to bounce back. Just keep moving, in some direction, on some level. Moving gives you momentum and some day you look back and realize how far you’ve come.
I seem to be spouting advice this morning. My advice to myself though it get dressed and don’t miss the last bus into work. 10 minutes to get out of here before I will be late. Oddly I’m still not rushing off.
Sometimes I think I don’t care enough and then I think I care too much. But, I’m starting to wonder if it’s not either one. Maybe it’s not about caring at all but about how much you notice the effects of your actions. If you can go along and not notice the reactions, the hurt feelings, the frustration and such which your actions cause then you just along thinking everything is fine. No consequences to your actions.
I’m not like that. I think about hurt feelings too much. My sister decided this wasn’t a good weekend for me to come out to see the kids. Zack has a lot of homework to catch up on. That’s fine. But now I feel bad cause I feel I’m disappointing him. I said I would come out, but did say I would check with my sister (his Mother). Still, I feel bad about the whole thing. I’m going out next weekend (she needs a babysitter) so it’s not a total let down.
How do other people let people down and not even notice? I’ve had people arrange to meet me and I make sure I’m there. They never show up, not even a phone call. Just like meeting someone who asks for your phone number and then never calls. I don’t get that. If I asked for a number I’d call. If I didn’t want to call I would not ask for a number or arrange to meet. I try not to get pushed into making any commitments unless I am sure about keeping them.
I know people who routinely make commitments and don’t follow through on them. They don’t even seem to notice the frustration and disappointment they cause. I don’t think that means they care too little. I think it just means that somehow they don’t even notice. I need some of that. I need to notice or think about it all less.
Of course I also blame myself for everything. Grew up that way. Thanks Dad. When does all that finally go away? How old do you have to be? In the back of my brain I still hear “No one will ever want you”. No matter how old I get, how I grow and change and feel ok about myself. I think it just never is enough. On some level I never get close to anyone. I can be close to people, I can listen and give advice. But, I don’t say too much about what I really think or feel about myself. I only write about it.
I found a book at Goodwill, “You Can Do It!”. I liked that it was another self-help type book geared to women. Plus it was $1.99. (Yes, even Goodwill has put up their prices this summer).
The book is written by Lauren Catuzzi Grandcolas, she died September 11th, 2001 on Flight 93. But she began the book the year before she died and her two sisters finished and published it for her. I like that her sisters finished the book. As I read it I wonder how much Lauren wrote and how much her sisters finished. They say lovely and inspiring things about her. But she’s not around to contribute for herself. What would she have written about her book? What a shame to have your book published and miss out on seeing it in print.
They set up a non-profit group in her name, in Texas, where the family is from.
The book does look good. It’s based on the Girl Guide badge system. Each time you accomplish something you wanted to do (but were afraid to try) you get badge sticker to stick on something, as a small celebration. I can see this would be a good way to build yourself up again. Making small steps that get bigger as you accomplish more and dare to try for bigger things.
It’s really too bad Lauren isn’t here to see how her book is doing and put up a website encouraging reader feedback and building a social community. All those fun things.
I bought a few of his books from Goodwill. Once I move I will actually start reading them rather than the slight skimming I have done so far. What self-help/ inspirational books have you read? Have any actually helped? Did any actually get as far as inspiring you?
“Effort is the clear-minded application of one’s abilities, while struggle is nothing more than a whole lot of unnecessary lather. And actually, when you are truly connected to what you should be doing, struggle is the furthest thing from your mind. All you really want to accomplish is the task set before you, and you’ll do pretty much anything to make it happen.” – Suzanne Falter-Barns
More from the How Much Joy Can you Stand book.
At the end of this chapter you’re to write resons “why not”. Why you aren’t accomplishing the things you want to be doing. I don’t really have any good reasons. Money, yes, but I can figure my way around that most of the time. Time, but I do have time really. I just forget about other things which I care less about and then I do have time to write, to plan and to create.
“Dare to dream of a life you have not yet dared to live, doing something you won’t even let yourself think about… too often.”
Article from: Womens Deals
7 Ways To Gain More Self-Confidence: Becoming More Confident
1. Learn to give and take graciously because true confidence cannot exist in a vacuum. Though it might not feel natural at first, the most confident people are those who are able to find a balance between helping others and asking for help when they themselves need it.
2. Arm yourself with the facts. When you feel unsure, confidence can melt away. Always being prepared with the correct information can help you retain your inner strength in an unnerving situation.
3. You cannot rethink the past, but you can reinvent yourself. Broadening your horizons with new and exciting experiences will help you to feel accomplished and will add unique modes of expression to your daily life.
4. It is easy to forget how many difficult obstacles you’ve overcome when you’re faced with the obstacles ahead. Keeping a success journal, wherein you list accomplishments big and small, as well as future goals, can inspire confidence when you’re feeling overwhelmed or under-motivated.
5. Bolstering the confidence of others and making new friends are powerful confidence builders. Help others to feel good by approaching them, asking questions, being friendly and complimenting them.
6. In situations that create feelings of uncertainty (which can quickly undermine self-confidence), imagine that the difficulties involved are ones you’ve faced before. Feeling self-assured about a few things can help you perceive yourself as confident about most things.
7. Each morning, give your self-confidence a jump-start with a positive affirmation. Think of five the things you have accomplished. Look closely at yourself in the mirror and remind yourself that you accept, support, and trust yourself, even when the unexpected happens.
I wonder if a lot of the mental illnesses that keep popping up (more every year) aren’t a load of hooey too.