Sex Bloggers Calendar

Looks like 2009 was the only year the calendar got together. They bought a domain for it but the content up there now is just spam. No calendar of any kind.

Source: New York City Sex Bloggers 2009 Calendar

I think this could be pulled together again. I could find sex bloggers (not restricted to New York) to contribute images so it would mainly be publishing and distribution I’d need to figure out.

Not something which should be free either. I’d need twelve bloggers, including myself, and each of them could have a share of the money. Sex bloggers need to pay the rent too. I’ve thought about it since finding this link but… I don’t think I can take on a project like this. There are too many bits and pieces and things which could go wrong.

Bad Girl Bloggers

The Bad Girl Bloggers seem to have retired. The name is getting passed around as a sex blogger award but the site has no posts since 2011. Maybe that’s just as well. I get tired with the attitude that women who talk about sex are bad girls.

On one hand, it’s kind of fun to think of yourself as wicked, in a sexy way. I don’t like being judged that way however. As if any woman who thinks about sex, likes sex, or has sex is doing something wrong. You can’t be a good girl sex blogger. Nice girls don’t write a sex blog.

So every woman writing a sex blog must be a bad, wicked creature. Except, we’re not. Sex bloggers are just people.

bad girl bloggersSource: Bad Girl Bloggers

Be an Off Centre Sex Blogger

No one can stand reading about just sex all the time. More importantly for me, I can’t just write about sex, BDSM and fetishes all the time. It gets dull and monotonous. Sex bloggers need to be more than sex bloggers, they need to write about sex in an off centre way.

Sex bloggers need to write about other things, have off shoot interests to keep things interesting and give them space to write about other interests and passions. You can usually find a way to connect just about anything to sex, but that isn’t enough.

One reason so many sex blogs fizzle and die is the lack of interest in maintaining a site which is so one dimensional and one sided. So, don’t be afraid to bring in other things you love and care about. Make yourself more interesting, more readable and more human too.

Bring your own personality into your sex blog. If you love sparkly things, like holiday jewelry, post about something great you found. I used to and then I pinned myself into a bit of a corner here, got tired of it and stopped posting for awhile. That’s what happens when you write for your readers and stop bringing yourself into it.

You need to write what you love, or at least get excited about in one way or another.

corset and lilies

 

This art comes from the Etsy shop: LadyLauraArt

Top Sex Bloggers for 2014 from Kinkly

I’m not at all expecting to become one of the top 100 sex bloggers on this list. Can’t say there isn’t a miniscule bit of hope but not based on anything realistic. Still, here for my viewing pleasure… The top 5 on the list (at the moment) and me.. down there at #177 tonight again.

Gracie (who has run Sex Kitten for at least a dozen years) is hoping to make the list. Tonight she was still at #150. I’ve voted for her. Good luck Gracie!

Tempting Tuesday #1

I decided to write a weekly writing prompt for adult writers, erotica writers and sex bloggers. It happens to be Tuesday today so let’s call it Tempting Tuesday.

The first writing prompt will be…

There’s a fly in the room. Not just on the wall, like a spectator, but actually buzzing around and making a pest of itself. Write an erotic scene, including an annoying fly.

Sex Blog Babe

Originally posted to Adult BackWash: Monday June 23, 2003

Sex blogs are getting popular, or at least with people who have an interest in reading or writing about sex. This is sort of a sex blog. Not entirely since, for one thing, I’m not having any to write about. For another thing I don’t update as often as the blog purists would say is necessary. Anyway, I still don’t see myself being a sex blogger. It would be strange to write about my body parts and what I did with them for mass public consumption. It sounds almost pornographic!

For me, wallflower that I am, this is more than enough. It’s not easy pulling out some idea worthy of Adult BackWash once a week. Who really feels that absorbed with sex? Not me.

I do think someone who would write a sex blog and keep it updated must have quite a huge preoccupation with sex and sex stuff. Maybe you think it would be easy to write a sex blog cause you think about sex all the time. But, try it.

Anyway, it’s interesting to see who writes them. I like to read about the people behind the blogs. What led them to writing a sex blog, what do they get out of it and mostly, what keeps them going.

At least it is a step up from being a phone sex ‘actress’, at least as I see it. Sex bloggers can set their own hours, be less available physically and emotionally to their customers/ readers. That is an important difference. Pretty much the main reason I can’t see myself becoming a phone sex person even though the money would be pretty great if not highly tempting. But, I don’t want to have to listen to some guy jerking off and then hanging up on me when he’s done. I want to be an important part of the whole process not just some handy tool.

So, the diva in me rises again. No wonder the part of sex blogging that most appeals to me is the fame. Maybe not the fame I always saw for myself when I was growing up, but fame none the less.

Anyway, if I ever do get a sex life again, I’ll slip in a few details, a few interesting tidbits, just enough to whet your whistle and keep you wondering if I really did any of that or am I just another wallflower making it all up as I go along. You’ll never really know will you. Hopefully I will.

Take Back your Words, Bitch!

Bait & Switch

“It’s time women stomped on a few feet (or inches) and took back our words: slut, bitch, hag, whore and all the rest of them. They belong to us. Words are our power. No man really has the same power with words that women do. I think that’s why men have tried to throw words at us like darts. They chip at our glory with our own greatest tool and assets. But, the words are ours, still.

Think, what are women so well known for which men have never grasped? Communication. Men will even admit this if you catch them in a particularly honest moment. I’ve seen them post it, right here at Adult BW even.

Also, did you know most bloggers are women and the numbers of women rise dramatically when it comes to sex bloggers. Women talk about relationships, passion, sensuality and sexuality. Men are close mouthed. Or, they will talk about the crude basics like how well they nailed her. Sadly, they may be the only one who thinks that way about their skills. Which is another whole column I will write someday. I think I should have that third lover first though. Real versus cyber but still, I’ve seen some sad fumbling whether on my flesh or virtual.

Anyway, back to the words. I want women to stop thinking being called a bitch is negative. First of all, think how surprised people will be if you take the worst word they can hurl at you as a compliment. If you say “thank you”. If you laugh while they stand there red faced, eyes still bugging out and looking amazed that their insult missed the mark so completely.

Don’t think of Bitch as a female dog, think of it as a powerful woman. A woman who knows her own mind and is not afraid to use it. A woman who knows what she wants and goes out there and gets it. Ball grabbing and everything, just like those bags of mostly testosterone.

Slut and whore are no longer words to chip at our sexuality. Now they prove our sexual virility, our sensuality and our power over men, especially when it comes to sex. If they call you a slut you know you’ve done a really good job making him drool. Good for you! Let the dog lie there in his own wet spot and wish he could have a slut like you.

Hag, that’s a word meant to hit us right between the eyes. We think of hags as old women, grey, washed out, worn out, wrinkled, ugly and badly groomed to say the least. But, a hag is not actually any of those things. The hag is the wise old woman, the woman of the woods, the witch, the midwife, the wild Earth Mother. Hags are powerful women too. Women of nature and power. Most of the less than complimentary words for women have come from powerful beginnings. The power of these words was drained away as was the power of womankind. As we stopped being matriarchies we lost our best words. I still would not like to be called a hag or a frump or any of those others. There is malicious intent behind the words. However, the words themselves are being unfairly (ignorantly) used.

It’s time for us to make the words mean something else, make them positive and powerful. Then we will have all our best tools and there is nothing anyone can do about it. Call us what you will, it’s all good. We are Woman!”