After 50 Kindly Disappear

dead after 50After turning 50 or so I think the rest of the people on the planet expect us to just drop off or disappear at the least.

I laughed in a sick way when filling out this survey. I feel like an expired library book. I’m just months away from the next and final designation/ destination.

Do they really think there are so few people online (or capable of using a keyboard) once you get to be 50? Are we just too far gone to matter then? Are all our ideas and opinions too diluted by our …  umm…  Alzheimers?

Only Other People Turn 50

th50I know how to count, 45… 50. I’ve been counting 50 for a few years. 50 is coming… 50 is coming… warning… 50 is closer than you think. But, in spite of that, when I see something for people who are turning 50 or 50 plus, I don’t think it’s about me. Only other people turn 50, not me.

I remember my Dad’s 50th birthday party. We gave him a home party with a bowl full of colourful Jello to smush his feet into. Dad was the grumpy sort, it really didn’t have much to do with being 50, he was mostly that way. But, I remember making all that Jello with my Mom. I remember my Mom had read about the idea somewhere, as a great way to relieve stress or tension. He finally did put his feet in the Jello, and he liked it. I don’t want Jello for my 50th birthday. I may be going crazy but I haven’t been grumpy about it.

There is the other part of turning 50… the birthday. You know people aren’t so likely to forget or ignore it. I don’t think I’d like it if they did. Quite… exactly… Other than not wanting Jello; I don’t know what I do want. Nothing… and yet, something. So am leaving that to procrastinate on later. I have until December after all.

Turning 50 has been on my mind since I turned 46, if not before. If you haven’t become a grown up, done the things you wanted to do, by the time you are 50… you only have another 10 years until you are old. I feel like I’m hanging onto a shelf, my legs dangling below me reaching for a ledge I can’t see or touch with my toes. I can let go of the ledge and trust I will land on another ledge below or I can let go of the ledge and fall a very long, long way. I tend to get that sick feeling of not having faith in the ledge below me when I think about turning 50.

Anyway, I thought I could write something about it. Likely someone else is turning 50, somewhere on the planet. Good luck and happy birthday when the time comes.

To the Canadian Media: Canadian TV First

Canadian TV FirstAlthough the site which generated this link is about SunMedia in particular, I would like to see more Canadian TV in general. All the TV channels, the entertainers and media should be Canadian on Canadian TV. It should be the odd time we see US entertainment, not the everyday. This is only aggravated at this time of year when we have the US Oscars shoved down our throat. In the Canadian newspapers, the Canadian magazines, the Canadian news – every facet of the Canadian media online and offline is focused on yapping about the US award show. I’m sick of it long before the thing ever shows up on the actual night it airs.

I am Canadian. So why is it I know names of US entertainers I have never even seen in a movie or TV show and yet I do not know the name of the actor I watched in a Canadian movie last night? Without waiting for the credits, I did not know the name of this man who I have watched in several movies and TV shows over the years. If this were a US entertainer I’d know his name and a lot more.

Why does the Canadian media play into promoting US entertainers and media over our very own entertainers and media? Why can’t Canadians have Canadian TV?

I took this photo (below) this morning. This is the local Barrie, Ontario newspaper. The Entertainment section is just two pages. Other than a couple of ads for local movie theatres (showing US movies, of course) the only content on those two pages is about the US Oscars and entertainers. As a Canadian reading this newspaper I was annoyed to see the US media given two pages and no Canadian content at all. Pick up a local US newspaper and see if you can find a mention of the Canadian media, at all. Likely not.

No Canadian Content

Underpaid Versus Overpaid

helmet

I think it’s pretty crazy just how highly overpaid the entertainers are. When you compare it to the military – the people we send to be targets – it’s really kind of sick. But, the overpaid types wouldn’t want to go out to fight a war. They have all that stuff to play with and money to spend, why would they want to leave and risk being killed or maimed? I guess that’s the reason one group is so over paid and the other group so under paid.

If you Close Your Eyes it Will all go Away

Most Definitely A Time For Change!!!.

I was molested in a movie theatre as a kid. At the time I was too ashamed and embarrassed – also intimidated to do anything but sit there through the whole movie and wait until I could get out and leave. Now I wish I had told someone. But, at the time I told no one until hours later when I got home on the bus and told my Mother.

I don’t know why our society puts offenders and murderers on a pedestal  Instead of doing something real and concrete about the people molesting, beating or killing we lock up ourselves and our children. We are all afraid of our children being attacked and yet… the molesters (known molesters and violent offenders) are sent right back out with a slap on the wrist.

I don’t understand why we don’t have capital punishment. When I ask about it here people were horrified at the idea of killing murders. Someone suggested they should have 3 chances before being punished. Well, I’m not volunteering to be beaten, molested or killed in order to give some offender a few more chances.

It’s all a sick joke and we are the dummies to live this way while allowing the offenders to rule our lives and make us live like cattle awaiting slaughter or rabbits afraid to poke our nose out of our holes. I don’t listen to the news any more. I don’t want to hear about the latest victim and I just get really angry when I hear about the offender who had already committed several crimes over the years but was set free to have another second chance, at our expense.

I’m in the 7%

 Written by Regina Brett, 90 years old. This is something we should all read at least once a week!

“To celebrate growing older, I once wrote the 45 lessons life taught me. It is the most requested column I’ve ever written.

My odometer rolled over to 90 in August, so here is the column once more:

1. Life isn’t fair, but it’s still good

2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.

3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone. Change the way you think.

4. Your job won’t take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and family will. Stay in touch.

5. Pay off your credit cards every month.

6. You don’t have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.

7. Cry with someone. It’s more healing than crying alone.

8. Release your children when they become adults, its their life now.

9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.

10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.

11. Make peace with your past so it won’t screw up the present.

12. It’s OK to let your children see you cry.

13. Don’t compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.

14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn’t be in it.

15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye

16. Take a deep breath It calms the mind.

17. Get rid of anything that isn’t useful, beautiful or joyful.

18. Whatever doesn’t kill you really does make you stronger.

19. It’s never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.

20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don’t take no for an answer.

21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don’t save it for a special occasion. Today is special.

22 Just because you believe you are right, doesn’t mean you are. Keep an open mind.

23. Be eccentric now. Don’t wait for old age to wear purple.

24. The most important sex organ is the brain.

25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.

26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words ‘In five years, will this matter?’

27. Always choose life.

28. Forgive everyone everything.

29. What other people think of you is none of your business.

30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.

31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.

32. Don’t take yourself so seriously. No one else does.

33. Believe in miracles.

34. Your job is to love your children, not choose who they should love.

35. Don’t audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.

36. Growing old beats the alternative — dying young.

37. Your children get only one childhood.

38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.

39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.

40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else’s, we’d grab ours back.

41. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.

42. The best is yet to come…

43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.

44. Yield…

45. Life isn’t tied with a bow, but it’s still a gift.”

Its estimated 93% won’t forward this.

If you are one of the 7% who will, forward this with the title “I’m in the 7%”. Friends are the family that we choose.

A few things I need to get off my chest: Not a rant | I Will Dare

A few things I need to get off my chest: Not a rant | I Will Dare.

My blabby comment after reading Jodi’s post:

40 is actually pretty nice. I’m feeling a bit sick about the approach of 50 (though I’m only 46, 50 is like a dead weight I can’t get out of my head).

Grey hair can be salvaged. I waited until I realized pulling out the grey strands was making me look like a lunatic. I was actually using the mirror in the car one day, while parked on the street. People were looking at me. It wasn’t a good thing.

So I started colouring my hair. You could skip the steps of DIY colouring and go right to getting it done at the salon. I didn’t. But, I’m stubborn that way. I had it done at the salon about two weeks ago for the first time. It is different than the DIY jobs I have done myself. I always seemed to miss some area, even when I was careful and watched myself do it in the bathroom mirror. Also, with long hair I think it requires two boxes of colouring to really cover all that hair. I was too cheap to buy two.

The salon is expensive but I got it done this time because I have two family weddings to attend. One was this month and the other October. My brother and sister are getting married, not to each other. There is something to make you feel old! I’m the oldest sibling but now I will be the only unmarried one. (I’m divorced, so not a complete old maid).

Anyway, 40 is not so bad. You might even like it! I was kind of fond of being 42, the answer to life, the universe and everything. For that one year you too can be the It Girl of the Universe.

First Monday of the New Year


1.  Do you have any New Year’s resolutions?
2.  What food item are you craving right now?
3.  When is your birthday?
4.  What were you doing an hour ago?
5.  Last thing you cooked?

  1. I wrote some on my other blog but I didn’t promise I’d actually keep any of them. This year is off to a backwards start anyway.

  2.  A better coffee than the one I have in front of me. It’s gotten cold. I don’t really want to eat anything right now. So I am content as far as food cravings.

  3. I just had my birthday a week before Christmas.

  4. An hour ago I finally got the Doctor Who Christmas special to load up and play on the Space channel’s website. It was great! I hope they run it again on TV soon cause my computer’s sound wouldn’t go up loud enough for me to hear it very well.

  5. I’ve been sick for over a week. I haven’t cooked anything. I don’t really enjoy cooking when it’s just for myself anyway.

Have a look at other answers to the same questions on Meet Me on Monday for this week.

Oh Goodie Goodie

It’s very unfair. We have those tiny tomatoes growing in the garden, they are just now all ripening up and are so juicy and warm from the sun, like biting into summer (only the good edible parts). But, each time I have a few of those tomatoes I feel sick, like I’m getting a the flu, that night and the next day. It is very unfair. I love those little tomatoes. I ate almost a dozen of their little red, orange and yellow bodies this afternoon and now I feel yucky, shivery and cold. Bleh. I still don’t think I can give up eating the tomatoes. Let them punish me for it.

Tomorrow I am babysitting again. Did I mention that my sister is due to pop out another baby in November/ December. As much as I like seeing the kids, especially Zack who started high school this year, I am tired of babysitting. Mostly, I am tired of her house. It is a dump and they seem to not even notice it. When I came over last week she told the girls to clean up cause I was there. She had been home all day but didn’t think to clean up because that is what people should do! No, it’s only because I’m queen bitch who will throw away all their toys and stuff. Get real. I told one of the girls that instead of bringing a garbage bag for all their stuff I wish I just had a blow torch instead. Would be much easier to clear a path through all the crap at the front door that way. I really am that fed up with it all. People who can’t train their children to be something more than feral animals should not be having another baby.

I know she has businesses to run. I know she sees herself as a business woman/ career goal minded. But, then, logically you don’t have four children set lose to fend for themselves. Know yourself. If you aren’t Mother material don’t keep popping them out thinking other people will do the job for you.

I do like the children, I’m not completely evil. Just annoyed, mostly just annoyed. I know when I am there tomorrow the floor of the entryway will be covered in coats, boots, books, games, assorted clothing, toys and other mindless debris. Plus the fish dying quietly in the fishtank placed right at the door for some odd reason. Then the kitchen, dishes and food left out all over the counters. The table will be coated in crayons, papers and assorted other remnants of the feral animals who live and eat there.

I’m sick of being the one who has to bitch those kids around into cleaning up after themselves. I don’t even see the point of doing so any more. Each week it is the same. They do not change, they do not learn and they certainly have proven that they do not care. I’m fed up with caring, with being told I’m a bully and being made to feel that is true. I really could cheerfully set fire to the lot of it. Just as the sleeve of my sweater caught fire for a second tonight when I moved the broccoli off the jet on the oven. (I blew it out and there is only a scorch mark on my sweater which was already one of my rag bag sweaters just for wearing around the house when I work, not a great loss).

Anyway, I can at least look forward to taking Zack out shopping for some school supplies tomorrow. Odd you may think that school has been started a few weeks ago and wouldn’t his parents have already checked that he has what he needs. Why, no. My Mother and I bought him most of his school clothes for starting high school. My other sister, the redhead took him shopping downtown and bought some expensive jeans and a shirt. His parents attended the meeting at the school for parents and gave him the money he needed for a student card which the school asked for. That’s about it. I know she loves her children, she just seems to be attending the school of Don’t Bother. The same school my Father attended all my life and likely his own.

Has this been enough of a bitchy whine? I could go on. I’m kind of tired though and I have to get up early to babysit. Goodie goodie.

Yucky

I’m itchy and yucky feeling. My throat is sore, even ice cream didn’t help beyond a slight freezing for a few seconds. I have a Christmas tree pulled upstairs to put up and I have people over-running the house who don’t fit into friends or family, not for me anyway. I’m sick of renovations that drag on for years. I’m fed up with worrying about money when the bills don’t reflect reality, at least not mine. And I’m cold too. We have already gotten a few feet of snow outside. I should write something more interesting but I just feel too yucky.