Miss Bonnie’s Favourite Quotes

The number one job of the dominant is to continually seduce consent from the bottom.
– Joseph Bean

Seduction isn’t making someone do what they don’t want to do. Seduction is enticing someone into doing what they secretly want to do already.
– Waiter Rant

Source: {About MissBonnie}

I especially like the first quote. Crafty, yet consensual, seduction is very sexy.

Both quotes are about consent and the thin line before crossing it. I think this is what makes so much difficulty for people. There is an element of seduction, teasing and pushing at what was a firm no versus a soft no.

Another element of consent which is sometimes thrown to the dogs is the consent of others – not involved but on the sidelines. Anything in public, even kissing and cuddling assumes the consent of the public. But, consent isn’t something which should be assumed. So… public play is not to be taken lightly or without consideration.

Anyway, seduction, teasing and contrariness are great fun for the Domme.

Little Men Worn as a Ring

Why don’t they design more jewelery with little men? It’s cute. It’s fun. I almost want to give them words of encouragement and think of teasing comments to make them blush. I’m going to design my own collection with little men rings, bracelets, earrings, brooches and so on. Of course, it will be cut and paste and unprofessional looking. But, it will be fun pulling my ideas together. It might even inspire someone who really does make jewelry. littlemenringSource: Maggie & Rudi Ring Peridot | AENEA | Wolf & Badger

Real FemDom Ideas To Dominate Your Man With

The link below offers a fairly traditional list of FemDom fetishes and kinks. I read the list and then thought: I don’t actually want most of that. Or, if I do, it’s not really all that interesting after a short time. Not for me, individually, personally.

Women as Doms are pushed to perform for male submissives. Stop and think… What do you actually want?


Foot worship… slobber on your feet and foot wear. How attractive is that? Get him to pamper your feet in practical ways: manicures, leg waxing and massage. Change foot worship into foot service and reap the rewards!

Chastity… really means chastity for both of you. Would you prefer having him make love to you – the way you want him to? Yes, you can have him perform and give you an orgasm but is that really enough for you? Chastity works better as a tease than a reality. Long periods of time spent in chastity are usually just in stories, not fact.

Sissy play… Do you really like seeing him feminized? How does that make you feel about being a woman yourself? I don’t like sissy play. Not because I don’t like the torment of putting him into high heels, a frilly pair of panties, etc. But, I feel there is an aspect of sissy play which minimalizes women and being a woman.

Spanking… play, punishment, pleasure…? Do you enjoy giving a spanking? Do you like the exercise you get from it? By the end of the spanking do you have bruises too?

Bondage and teasing I do like. But, I make sure I’m doing both my way. I make sure I’m enjoying teasing him and I prefer mental bondage to the risk of tools and gadgets which are really physical objects to symbolize the actual control and power. Physical bondage works when I want to see him struggle and squirm and he likes being able to do so.

Roleplay… I do enjoy adding flavour with roleplay. But, how do you feel about it yourself? Does some of it feel silly, over done? Do you enjoy it or is it a performance and you’re glad when it’s over and you can be yourself again?

Learn how domination can boost your confidence and bring you closer to your man with these sexy femdom ideas that you can cater to your interests!

Source: 10 Femdom Ideas To Dominate Your Man With

Keeping him Caged

Note: This is an illustration, a fantasy not something actually done. Sure it’s fun to think about doing things like this. But, they work better as a fantasy, or a teasing threat. Don’t leave someone standing, locked up, over night without being awake yourself to check on them.

Slave husband spends all night locked in a genital stock forced to stand next to wife’s bed while she sleeps.

Source: He Suffers While Mistress Sleeps – Femdomonomy

Fun with Domestic Discipline!

I fixed the door lock/ handle on the front door today. Feeling pretty good about figuring it out and actually getting it put together and fully functional again. Started me thinking about women doing home repairs and that led to thoughts about domestic discipline. I’d really like to find a man who does dishes, house cleaning, without complaining or expecting it is “women’s work”. Beyond the kinky stuff, I think a man who does dishes and etc would be a stronger type of person, someone capable, who makes his own decisions.

Pretty pink soap even! I like the apron idea more as fashion than feminization. But, pretty pink soap would be more about teasing him.

Little Man as a Pussy Scratcher

This is a fetish, a weird fetish. It just seems even weirder seeing it illustrated. But, there is something about a little, miniature man… I don’t quite know why or really how it works. Some fetishes are like that. Of course, this one will always just be a fantasy and that’s probably a good thing.

http://femdombay.tumblr.com/post/119842687360/via-human-dildo-follow-my-femdom-teasing-foot

Bondage for your Man

When I noticed this online a picture began to form in my mind. Him wearing a blindfold and gag, struggling (more like squirming) while I tease him. What a great night of teasing that would be. I get a happy, mushy feeling just thinking about it.

You might add something like a spreader bar to his wrists – to keep him from blocking your access behind.
Source: Fetish Fantasy Series Fantasy Strap – Frisky Business Boutique

A Threatening Paperweight

Domme's paperweightCan you picture this… your boy notices you’ve got a new paperweight on your desk. It comes with three different sets of screws: dull(ish), sharp as well as long and sharp.

I don’t really need a paperweight, of course. I just like the threat of impending CBT (cock and ball torture, or teasing if he was only sort of a bad boy).

via – JT’s Stockroom – Mike‘s Spikes (R).

Beginners Guide for Becoming a Male Submissive

The BDSM experience is different for men and women, in several ways. Women are more careful about meeting men. Women may be looking for romance and affection, a relationship while men really just want sex. Women tend to get pushed into things they really don’t want to do, in order to keep the peace.

I often read people (men) claiming women into Domming are rare. In my experience this is not true. I encounter many women who would enjoy Domming men, if they could find one who meets their needs.

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Being a male submissive may not be what you think it is at all

There are very few men who understand what a Dom woman is looking for, what she actually wants. She does not want to be the Dom you see in pornography. If you are looking for a woman to fulfill all your porno fantasies of what male submission should be… pay for it. Professional sex workers will dress the part and read from whatever script you want, do it your way (as long as safety is considered) and give you what you want as you expect to have it.

Real women who Dom, just because they want to, will want to do things their own way. Real women Doms have their own fantasies, their own desires and plans for play, teasing, romance, seduction, torment and all their own fetishes and kinks. They will want you to please them and that may not include any of the fetishes and kinks you have been fantasizing about.

A real woman may not want a man slobbering on her shoes or expecting to wear her underwear, for instance.  Some women may like the idea of training men to submit while others think they should already be house broken.

Worship and begging may not appeal to her. For myself, both of these are a turn off. The real appeal of having a male submissive is that he be a man, strong, clever, manly and yet my submissive. Retain your dignity and be a male submissive worth having and keeping.

Before you Begin…

Decide if you actually want the reality.

Do you want a woman telling you what to do? Are you willing to be disappointed when she isn’t interested in doing what you want, the way you want it? Will you let her lead or will you try to pressure her into giving you what you want instead?

Do not manipulate your Dom. Yes, it is fun to have the erotic play of teasing, denial, struggling and so on… but it should be sincerely part of the fun and not “topping from the bottom”. Two people sincerely invested in D/s can have a lot of fun, pleasure and explorations. If you top from the bottom (manipulate your Dom) you cheat yourself from ever having the real experience of submitting, serving and discovering the pleasure of being a male submissive in reality.

Also, no Dom woman likes to be manipulated. We get this from almost every so-called male sub on dating sites and etc. It is very discouraging. If you wonder why there are so few women into Domming – this would be the number one reason.

If you can’t let go of your expectations then consider paying for what you want and getting it from a McDomme (paid to do it your way).

What are you really willing to do?

Too many men have a list of fetish and kink ideas but no thoughts about the reality. This is especially a bad idea when it comes to health and safety. There are several things which will sound good on paper or turn you on when you watch a video… but reality is not like that. Reality is messier, reality is less planned and professional, less perfect and reality has accidents and misunderstandings.

Never say you are willing to do anything/ everything. Because you aren’t. No one is – unless it’s make believe and pretend.

Read about the reality of your fetishes and kinks. Instead of watching the porn find someone who really has done it and read about their experience. What went wrong, what didn’t work and how did they learn to do it better or another way. Research the reality. Even if you have no experience you can read the experience of others (just not the porn version).

Consider safety and be practical about it

If you have issues such as allergies, a phobia, dislikes put together a list of these issues. Personally, I don’t like having something close around my neck or mouth because I grew up with asthma. I’m also allergic to animals which limits the places and people I can spend time with to some extent. These are things to be aware of, for yourself and the woman Dom you would like to meet.

Although safety and health are more up to the Dom in a D/s relationship you can’t expect her to know your needs, read your mind or use telepathy to know there is a problem.

Safe words are not that reliable. If there is a real problem, something sudden, you need communication which won’t be forgotten in the moment or confused with something else.  A direct safe word, like stop, is better than trying for some secret code you may not remember when you need it. If you use the safe word for effect rather than actually needing it the play stops anyway. Respect the safe word – it’s not a game.

Communicate and talk about anything you plan to do. Start simple and leave yourself room to back out or change the plan. you may think you want to start with the hard stuff but discover your feelings were far more involved when it was actually happening. It is possible to discover you  have a phobia or intense dislike you didn’t know you had until you tried something. This can be especially true with bondage. Actually being confined is not just as you imagine it to be. Explore and experiment with baby steps and savour the experiences as you go.

Submission is not a gift

Years ago the idea that submission is a gift started in the online BDSM groups. This is not the right attitude. Domination is just as much a gift, if you want to consider either of them a gift at all.

You have chosen to submit and your Dom has chosen to lead you, to control you and to own you (up to a point). She is not likely to want to micro-manage you. Being the Dom is a responsibility. It’s not easy and it is not something to take lightly. People can get hurt physically, mentally and emotionally. Both of you need to communicate to prevent problems. The gift is the relationship itself, when you can find it.

Explore and discover

  • Try blindfolding yourself in your own bed. How does it feel? Does the blindfold itch? Do you feel peaceful?
  • Sit on your hands next time you’re alone watching TV. How long can you keep yourself in this self-bondage? How uncomfortable is it?
  • Sit under a table, let it become your cage. Does the confinement bother you? Do you feel snugly caged or just trapped?
  • Try being naked when you are home alone. With the blinds or curtains closed stand naked in front of the window. Even knowing no one can see you do you get a thrill or can you not even do it at all?
  • Buy a dog collar for yourself. No one has to know you don’t have a dog (or your dog won’t be wearing this one). Wear the collar but wrap it around your wrist the first day (not your neck).
  • Even before you have a Dom you can practice serving her tea. Dress up (she doesn’t want pubic hair in her tea cup), make a plate up with pretty treats and serve tea in a teapot with a fancy teacup and saucer for her.

The reality is much different from the fantasy. Reality isn’t the porn version because it’s not scripted and the people are not actors. However, you can actually be one of the people involved rather than watching and wishing from the sidelines. Just make sure you want the reality, imperfect but not impersonal.

Things Sexually Unadventurous People Should Try

Good luck finding someone sexually unadventurous to try most, if any, of these. No one should be pushing someone into a sexual adventure they don’t want or aren’t ready for.

  • Analingus
  • Vibrators
  • Role play
  • Spanking
  • Positive dirty talk
  • Blindfolds and handcuffs
  • Switching up the location

via – Eating Ass And 6 Other Things Sexually Unadventurous People Should Try In Bed | Thought Catalog.

However, some adventures may be more appealing than others. I’m thinking of quiet adventures, not so much drama and soft lighting.

Of course, don’t start something as if you’re already an expert at it (even if you have done it with someone else, or seen it done). Whether it’s massage, bondage, spanking, or even just plain sex… take time to find out what each of you actually likes. Learn the simple things rather than trying to dive in as if you know what you’re doing and who you are doing it with.

  • Bondage, but don’t actually tie any knots. Just let them hold their own hands together.
  • Teasing and denial. Talk about what you’d like to do, but don’t do anything.
  • Age play with dressing him or her in just regular clothes as if you were dressing a kid.
  • Massage but the one who wants the massage should give the massage first.
  • Tantric sex, but start slow. Sit nude facing away from each other, back touching back. Relax, do nothing.
  • Role play, but just talk about it and look at costumes you might wear when you take the next step.
  • Domination and submission but, speaking only, no touching and no toys/ tools/ accessories.
  • Exhibitionists, go outside, somewhere private. Start with kissing and touching, maybe just sitting close and cuddling.
  • Spanking, but keep it light. Start with patting and see if either of you likes it enough to do more.

I think this is a sensible list for the unadventurous to actually consider. This gives people a chance to find out if they may be adventurous after all.