Ding! You Win… A Dollar!!!

I have Word Grrls on Project Wonderful. I just checked the account today and it has crossed the one dollar mark. How will I spend my new income? Oh, don’t be crazy… I’m not spending a penny.

I don’t do stock market games or reality cause I’m an excessively obsessive and bad risk taker when it comes to games of chance. I also don’t like reading or obeying a lot of rules. After all, rules just complicate things. But Project Wonderful has been my own penny ante stock market. I didn’t have to invest any real money. Just stuck the code up and keep remembering to go in there and check for pending bids.

It took off at a rough start. I felt a bit slimed at the starting gate. I didn’t read all the rules so I didn’t fix my price per ad to anything. So it was zero, no cents at all. Today is different. I’m out of the penny race and into a nickle. I have two ads from the same blogger, running at five cents each. That was the ad that pushed me over from cents into dollars.

Project Wonderful isn’t amassing me a fortune. I didn’t expect it would. I hoped it would be fun, something new to learn to stimulate my brain and keep me a little longer away from becoming senile, and it has done that. I’m not pulling it from Word Grrls. I’m not concerned about adding it to That Grrl any time soon. I might, out of interest to compare how each blog does.

If you are interested in trying Project Wonderful I endorse it. But go in with real expectations. If you want big money robbing a bank would be a faster method, a bit risky though. Project Wonderful will show you some new blogs and eventually give you a dollar to add to your next fancy coffee purchase, but it won’t make you rich.

Blind to Others

Sometimes I think I don’t care enough and then I think I care too much. But, I’m starting to wonder if it’s not either one. Maybe it’s not about caring at all but about how much you notice the effects of your actions. If you can go along and not notice the reactions, the hurt feelings, the frustration and such which your actions cause then you just along thinking everything is fine. No consequences to your actions.

I’m not like that. I think about hurt feelings too much. My sister decided this wasn’t a good weekend for me to come out to see the kids. Zack has a lot of homework to catch up on. That’s fine. But now I feel bad cause I feel I’m disappointing him. I said I would come out, but did say I would check with my sister (his Mother). Still, I feel bad about the whole thing. I’m going out next weekend (she needs a babysitter) so it’s not a total let down.

How do other people let people down and not even notice? I’ve had people arrange to meet me and I make sure I’m there. They never show up, not even a phone call. Just like meeting someone who asks for your phone number and then never calls. I don’t get that. If I asked for a number I’d call. If I didn’t want to call I would not ask for a number or arrange to meet. I try not to get pushed into making any commitments unless I am sure about keeping them.

I know people who routinely make commitments and don’t follow through on them. They don’t even seem to notice the frustration and disappointment they cause. I don’t think that means they care too little. I think it just means that somehow they don’t even notice. I need some of that. I need to notice or think about it all less.

Of course I also blame myself for everything. Grew up that way. Thanks Dad. When does all that finally go away? How old do you have to be? In the back of my brain I still hear “No one will ever want you”. No matter how old I get, how I grow and change and feel ok about myself. I think it just never is enough. On some level I never get close to anyone. I can be close to people, I can listen and give advice. But, I don’t say too much about what I really think or feel about myself. I only write about it.

Blog Talkers: Sexy

From Blog Talkers:
Name three things that make a man, or woman, sexy. Why do you think these things make them sexy? Name one thing about you that is sexy. Why do you think this one thing is sexy about you?

A brain, a smile and taking some interest in their appearance. I’m not really sure what makes one person sexy and another just ok. Being clean is a big plus. Being freindly, having a smile is a certainly another step in that direction. I think in the long run it comes from inside more than outside. Being able to carry and start a conversation. Being good to other people, listening and making people feel you care about what they have to say. Charm and charisma are sexy but not something you can fake easily. I think a person who is not especially attractive can be sexy.

I don’t feel sexy. If anything about me is sexy maybe it’s my hair. I like my colour, rich and dark and it has just the right amount of curl to twine around my finger. When I spend a little time on it (for me that means brushing it after a shower) it looks really good. I think it makes me feel sexy too.

The Monster in my Eye

New tagline for this blog… “Exploring myself, one rock at a time.”

So, how are the rocks in your head today? Mine are clunking around up there. I think I almost was asked out today at work. I’ve never had a guy actually pursue me. It would be nice. Seems I am usually the one who starts things, arranges get togethers and such. It’s not the same as having someone else do the work, the planning and the asking. It would be nice to be pursued. I’m not going to hold my breath. I will hold my breath many years from now, when it won’t matter any more as far as having oxygen in my brain. Maybe, it will work, I’ll finally get all those things I wasn’t going to hold my breath for. That would be an interesting time in my life, if I could live to see it.

Can your eyeballs still function on some level once you are brain dead? There’s a new horror movie in the making.

The best ideas for horror come from every day real things. We take so much for granted. Yes, the bus doors will open – the bus driver isn’t about to fly off the handle and haul everyone around all day against their will. Yes, the coffee you make that morning is about the same as the coffee you made yesterday morning – there wasn’t a stow away venomous spider hiding in the coffee beans. Yes, your eyeballs are still your same old eyeballs – an alien didn’t drop down into your room last night and replace them with marbles or some other weird alien eyeballs. Horror and science fiction can just have so many endless spins put on a simple idea.

Day off tomorrow! Ha ha ha!!! and more mad scientist evile laughter Can’t decide if I should sleep in first or go grocery shopping. Oh, the excitement!…

I did my laundry yesterday so I spoiled that part of my weekend of fun. Too bad. I will just have to get over it.

Next weekend is a pay cheque weekend. I may actually do something that involves wearing laundry (clean) and spending money on something less than practical. I could even go all out and give that guy at work my email address and the mention of going for a Rrrroll up the Rrrrim (coffee at Tim Hortons). See how that happens, the not being pursued thing? Is it because I’m just not patient? Perhaps. I do like to get started once I decide on something.

One last bit of babble.. I think the coffee I bought from Second Cup a couple of weeks ago is NOT french vanilla. It does not taste right at all. I had the caramel first so didn’t start what should have been french vanilla until today. I don’t like whatever it is I have instead of french vanilla. I think it might be one of those with a nut flavour. Now I have two bags of it, whatever it is. Kind of aggravating when it was not cheap AND the guy at the store made some major goof up and sold me twice the amount of coffee I asked for. I really doubt they would go for letting me return it for real french vanilla now. Look, there’s another idea for a horror story. I’m just full of them today. Rocks and monsters, that’s what I’ve got in my head.

One Dollar Jackpot

One Dollar Jackpot – 25 Words or Less Competition

OneDollarJackpot.com is an online competition that’s open to anyone with an email address.

A simple competition, all you need is a brain, some creativity and 25 words to win it with.

Each day the winner is drawn and written about on the blog. A tip for the daily competition is also given along with the greatest help – how many people entered yesterday.

Pen and Not So Much Ink

From Chatelaine magazine:

“A recent study involving brain scans found that women get the same gratification from giving to a good cause as we get from eating chocolate or even a night of sex.”

I can see that. I do like giving something to someone when I know it was a good choice and will be used well. That’s another good thing about Christmas. No wonder it’s such a great holiday, all that chocolate and giving gifts too.

I’m using a new pen tonight. It looks really pretty and sparkly on the outside but the ink inside isn’t much use. It kept skipping so I had to retrace my letters and lines. Annoying but true.

The snow is really piled up outside but it was sunny for awhile today and a bit of it melted. Looks like there might even be an end to the car craziness in sight.