Family Events and Druggy Kids

It’s my sister’s 40th birthday today. We are packing up and heading down there for spaghetti dinner, salad, (which we haven’t made yet) and wine (my brother is bringing that). After dinner she likes to play Canasta, a card game. We will see what is left of her Canasta cards (2 fancy decks made just for that game). She has been letting her two girls play with them. The two girls who have been trained to never lift a finger to do anything, including putting away cards. I am sure there will be missing cards. I know there are actually. Last time we tried to play cards were missing from one deck.

Anyway, I am going because it’s a birthday and my sister never forgets my own birthday. But, I know it will be another day of babysitting, cleaning her house and cooking for them all. Family get togethers are never the way they look in the movies.

I will see Zack. Maybe find out what drugs they are putting him on. I doubt the “sleeping pills” are actually sleeping pills. It is so strange that we went through all those years of anti drug campaigns and now people are all putting their kids on drugs. I think it is an easier way to deal with behaviour problems. Just drug them up instead. Keep them quiet and well behaved by doping them up. Where does it end? How will it end? No one really knows. I wonder what kind of people they are making this way. Likely, they will all be drug addicts, used to coping with anything by taking drugs rather than relying on themselves or getting any other kind of help.

Facebook Horoscope for Today

Laura,
You are thinking about the deep mysteries of life, the world, and everything. You may be turning to the older members of your family or community for advice and insight, because you are feeling confused about your personal, social or cultural values.

Even the Facebook application knows I am wandering through the deep, thick woods of my own brain these days. I have become entangled in Facebook games, far too many of them and far too many hours spent there. Although, half of the time spent is just waiting for the games to load or move from one screen to the next (which is also loading in the technical sense).

This is what I wrote in my Facebook status just now:

It’s a bit gross how much of these Facebook games I am playing lately. I used to see real stuff on my profile here. Now it is all game spam. I need a change. I need a break. I need a lot of things and the only one who can do anything about it is me.

Yet, I will be there tomorrow, feeding the llamas, picking the cherries, scaring the bear, etc. I need a new obsession.

Life Would be Easier as a Psychotic Bitch

My brother has been after me to call Revenue Canada for ages. I did today. I am on the phone with the woman trying to identify myself (who can remember half the old stuff they ask you?) and he is yelling and swearing at me to get a supervisor on the line instead. First of all, I was handling things and in spite of all his mouth, I did get it sorted out. Secondly, I really did not think it was at all ok for him to be saying “fuck off” and such while I am trying to hear what the woman is saying. I was really upset. I really don’t know why he has to do that. He does it to me almost every time I am on the phone. He does not have the excuse of Tourettes or anything like that. He just seems to think it is ok to curse and swear and talk in his normal to yelling voice, directing me in what to do and say. I hate making any kind of phone calls when he is around. It is a miserable experience. Of course, in the end I am the bad guy because I got really fed up, gave him the finger and took the phone to finish the call in my bedroom. He is upset that I gave him the finger. My Mother even mentioned it, “Graham said you gave him the finger.” It is ironic that he told me several times to fuck off and that doesn’t seem to matter at all. That is something I have never figured out. I should have started life out being a complete bitch, it would make everything so much easier to be a selfish, psychotic bitch.

Never Going to be the Polished Professional Type

Slept in for Sunday. Or least didn’t get up in any hurry. Read awhile. Played cards with my Mom for about an hour, still haven’t gotten dressed and it is already after noon. The Queen would not approve.

Now I have K.D. Lang on the CD player. Mom says none of the US people in the Florida trailer park would believe K.D. Lang wasn’t a man when they saw her at the Olympics this year. Maybe she sounds like a very young boy but she sounds much more like a woman, however she dresses.
Not much else going on today. I have mystery allergies. Resisting taking any allergy pills. Surely it will go away, any hour now.
I want to work on my directory today. Should also login at BOTW and add links I have found for that one too. Need to write for the network with Deanna, I am a couple of months behind on that one.
Zack wants to hear the web radio show I did with Bev for Elemental Musings. At least I don’t think I said anything I wouldn’t want him to hear. I am never going to be the polished professional type though.

How's Your Day Going?

I’m writing a post about building and maintaining your own web directory on my Word Grrls blog. I started my own web directory, which I had been wanting to do for ages. Took me quite awhile to find software that I could get to work myself. I am still not 100% with it but it is up there and I have begun adding my sites to it.

I still haven’t met the guy from Toronto. But we still talk online about once a month. I think I am feeling discouraged about it but not quite giving up. I had considered going downtown to Toronto myself this month but after paying the bills I don’t really have enough left that I could afford the travel fare for the local bus (TTC) and the GO bus from here to Newmarket and then Toronto. It would be about $20 each way. Then more for a lunch, or at least a coffee or two. I’d be too poor for groceries the rest of this month.
My nephew, Zack, and I went to see a movie last week. It was one Zack wanted to see and I had seen the commercial and thought it would be fun. It wasn’t what I had expected at all, very violent. Shocked me and I considered walking out and getting my ticket refunded so I could see something else. But, Zack had wanted to see it and knew it was going to be… what it was. At least I guess he did. He’s 14, an age when they want to see stuff like that. I’m 45, an age when I’d rather think better of the world and it’s peoples.
I’m having a bleh day today. Lacking in ambition and I’m cold. I just turned the heat on in the house. I have it set at 20 C. I don’t know what most people keep their heat set at but 20 is what I got used to over the winter. It was down to 18 C. I wouldn’t think 2 degrees would really make such a difference in how it feels.

The Under Achievement of Niceness

I feel like I’m a bitch every time I’m not nice. Not even nasty, or mean or anything like that. Just not nice. The under achievement of niceness.

It’s pretty silly living in my head. I wish I could get out sometimes, just a little vacation would be nice.