Little Red Riding Hood Song

Little Red Riding Hood – Originally by Sam the Sham and the Pharaohs

Who’s that I see walking in these woods?
Why it’s Little Red Riding Hood.

Hey there Little Red Riding Hood.
You sure are lookin’ good,
You’re everything a big bad wolf could want.

Listen to me!
Little Red Riding Hood,
I don’t think little big girls should.
Go walking’ in these spooky old woods alone.

What big eyes you have,
The kind of eyes that drive wolves mad.
So just to see that you don’t get chased,
I think I ought to walk with you for a way.
What full lips you have.
They’re sure to lure someone bad.
So until you get to Gramma’s place,
I think you ought to walk with me and be safe.

I’m gonna keep my sheep suit on,
‘Til I’m sure you’ve been shown,
That I cam be trusted walkin’ with you alone. (Howl!)

Little Red Riding Hood,
I’d like to hold you if I could.
But you might think I’m a big bad wolf, so I won’t.

What a big heart I have,
The Better to love you with.
Little Red Riding Hood,
Even big bad wolves can be good.
I’ll try to keep satisfied,
Just to walk by you’re side.
Maybe you’ll see things my way,
Before we get to Gramma’s place.

Hey there Little Red Riding Hood.
You sure are lookin’ good,
You’re everything a big bad wolf could want.
Little Red Riding Hood.
You sure are lookin’ good,
You’re everything a big bad wolf could want.
Little Red Riding Hood.
You sure are lookin’ good,
You’re everything a big bad wolf could want.

11 Books for Fat Girls

I’m trying the parkour idea, but it’s hard to feel inspired and energized when it comes to exercise when you aren’t fit or slim. Often we need to look outside ourselves for inspiration. I know the fitness gurus will tell you to be inspired from within, to do it for yourself, and so on. That would be great if that worked every time.

The Amazon plugin I was using us causing errors and making all my posts unreadable. So I have deleted it and all the links which were here (and a few other posts) are now pretty useless, so I deleted them too. 

Parkour for Fat Girls (Women Too)

Parkour is more than an exercise, it’s spiritual and about learning to live your life in a better way. I see parkour not as something just for the young, fit people but for the fat girls and women who need to move forward and help themselves reach their own goals.

The inspiration to write this came from myself entirely. You see, I really don’t like to exercise. Being a fat woman, I’d rather stop eating than get up and sweat and have people see me ‘working out’.

I hate being fat but it’s easier than making a real change and having people notice how fat I really am. When I go out, I just forget myself and do what I want to do. The actual physical weight isn’t so hard to forget – except when it comes to the odd time when I choose which chair to sit in or should I try running for the bus or just skip it and wait for the next one, even if it is a cold day and I’m carting groceries home.

Sure, I know nothing will change if I don’t change. So, I’m taking up parkour, for fat girls or women.

What is parkour you may want to ask but feel it might be one of those stupid questions. Actually, it isn’t a stupid quesiton at all. Parkour is mainly considered an extreme sport. In actual fact, there is more to parkour than extreme exercise.Parkour is actually about forward movement, in whatever way, shape, form or speed you choose. Parkour is about finding new ways to keep moving forward. Isn’t that kind of perfect for a fat girl?

I can move forward. I need to move forward. It’s just the actual act of moving forward that ruins my momentum. So, that is where I start my Parkour for Fat Girls. Getting started, at all.

First, I bought a floor mat sort of thing. This was so I could feel less like an elephant clumping around over the floor. The mat I picked is stuffed with memory foam. It’s intended purpose was a bath/ shower mat. I have repurposed it as my exercise mat for parkour.

The next thing I am doing (after I close the window blinds and pick my spot on the floor) is to look up exercises and foot work in general, which I can do walking in place, more or less.

For me moving forward is not going to be about moving around all over the house. I’m going to get moving, find my motivation and keep moving. The forward will come – it just won’t be physically walking one step at a time, more along the lines of mentally walking one step at a time from being the fat girl doing parkour to being the chubby girl who can run for the bus if she wants to.

My First Fancy Parkour Trick

My first idea for parkour, other than the walking in place which will get tiresome in more ways than one, is to walk back. Not to actually walk backwards, just to lift my legs behind me instead of in front. This will use muscles I seldom get around to in the ordinary run of the mill day. I think it’s a great plan.

Another idea came from watching Russian soldiers marching years ago. They march without bending the knee. It’s harder than bending your knee, give it a try and see for yourself.

I’m going to be watching for more walking, marching, pacing and other ideas I can use for my parkour. I’m starting out at an easy pace. As I get into the exercise and able to do more I will find new ways to move. I can bring in an obstacle – I’ve got a low step which I can walk over, walk around or step on and off of it. I’m not going to be jumping over it any time soon, but that will be in my future too if I stick with it.

In general, go at your own pace. If you are large sized you already know you have some limitations. So, not a big deal. Parkour, or any exercise will put extra strain on your body. That isn’t a reason not to work at parkour. You may see people flipping themselves around, jumping off things and so on. But, that isn’t how you get started. Start at your own, current level. In time you will be able to do more, last longer and have the strength and co-ordination to try fancier parkour moves.

Links for Parkour Girls

Boudoir Dolls: Restore and Repurpose Dolls

bed doll patternMy Mother bought me a fancy bed doll when I was a young lady. I was somewhere between being a kid and being a teenager. She hoped having the doll to decorate my bed would get me into the habit of making my bed each morning so the doll could sit on it with her lovely dress, fancy hair and angelic little face. But, before we bought the doll my Mother explained that it was not a doll to play with. Instead she was just to be put on the bed or the shelf for display. She told me that once I took the doll’s hair down or took her dress off it would not be the same. She was right. I found out by doing it.

It would be nice if the bed doll gets another chance to be fashionable. For one thing, it’s a chance to repurpose some of the old dolls in thrift stores. I always see shelves of them, most half dressed or missing all their clothes. Someone needs to come along and take care of those girls.

Also, if you get into the design and creating of the dresses you can become a doll fashionista. Look at old fashioned dresses, gowns from TV and movies and bring in new modern themes to create custom gowns designed by you.

I’ve seen these dolls called boudoir dolls too, a more romantic name than bed dolls.

vintage boudoir dollThis doll comes from Grammas Junk on Etsy.

vintage bed dollVintage bed doll from Nimbles Nook on Etsy.

Pinterest: The Boudoir Doll

Pinterest: Boudoir Dolls

Pinterest: Free Crochet Bed Doll Patterns and Accessories

Pinterest: Boudoir Babes

Pinterest: Flapper, Smoker Boudoir Dolls and Others

Flickr: Vintage Half Dolls and Boudoir Dolls

Epatterns Central: Bed Doll Patterns

The Dollie Boudoir – History of her.

About.com: Doll Collecting: Boudoir Dolls

Boudoir Doll Salon

Jazz Age Club: The Boudoir Doll Craze

The Wayback Times: Meet the Boudoir Dolls

Frau Wulf’s Boudoir Doll Blog (No longer being updated).

 

 

I Want to See a Fat Girl

I want to see a fat girl in a leading role of a film.

I want to see a fat girl in a leading role of a film that isn’t about her weight.

I want to see a fat girl wearing mini skirts or just whatever the fuck she’s comfortable in.

I want to see a fat girl kick some bad guy’s ass.

I want to see a fat girl be the one that the guy/girl falls in love with at first sight instead of just the fat girl the guys all make fun of first before getting to the stereotypical blond, thin white girl.

I want to see a fat girl who isn’t the thin girl’s funny friend.

I want to see a fat girl love scene.

I want to see a fat girl be a fucking survivor of a god damned fucking zombie apocalypse!  Fuck you and your rule #1, Zombieland!

I want to see a fat Disney princess.

I want to see a badass fat girl who is sardonic and smokes, and when someone comments on her weight and how smoking makes it worse, she just blows smoke right in their faces.

I want to see a fat girl who loves to screw and isn’t ashamed of the fact.

I want to see a fat girl’s leading man/woman punch some guy in the fact for making fun of her.

I want to see a fat girl be something that is not her weight.  I don’t want her to be the butt of every joke.  I don’t want her to be the one who’s constantly rejected, or the one who has to fight to accept herself and have others around her accept who she is.  I’m tired of seeing roles for fat girls that are only about her weight.  I want to see a fat girl living her normal existence.  I want to see her know she’s beautiful and not have to go through some huge challenge of loving herself.  I’m tired of seeing horror films with only a thin cast.  Fatties can run, too, a lot of times faster than you can and I can guarantee fatties can probably beat a bad guy up better, too.

I WANT TO SEE A FAT GIRL, HOLLYWOOD!

via Internal Acceptance Movement, I Want to See a Fat Girl.

Maybe I'm a Bully Bitch

I’ve had a lot of customer service type jobs. I’m good at that, not the sales part, but the actual people part. I don’t even mind the grumpy or angry people. It’s those people who never acknowledge you, never look at you, that bothered me.

Funny, the angry people would just make me feel stubborn and I’d only give them the bare minimum of service or discounts, etc. Most of the other customer service people would cave in and give the angry, shouting people whatever they wanted. That annoys me, to reward someone for acting like a bully.

Some of the worst people would deliberately line up at the youngest cashier’s stand and then start in on her. They had some of those girls in tears. I saved a couple when I could. Usually I couldn’t just abandon people waiting in my line.

Maybe I’m a bully bitch. I did like sorting them out when I got the chance. People I work with are always surprised. I like surprising people now and then.