Prompt for December 7 | Project Reverb

Victory Laps: What was your biggest accomplishment of 2013?

via Prompt for December 7 | Project Reverb.

This seems like a repeat question.

One big accomplishment (on a personal level) was getting rid of this fungus (or whatever it really is) on my face for a week. I’ve had it since the Spring this year. Got rid of is about a week and felt delighted. But, it has come back again.

Thinking about it doesn’t make me feel better. So I’d rather not put much time and energy into typing about it now. I have had it looked at, at least three times so far.

Prompt for December 3 | Project Reverb

Brave: What was the bravest thing you did in 2013?

via Prompt for December 3 | Project Reverb.

I don’t feel brave and mostly I seem to be letting things go and not doing as much as I really could if I weren’t making excuses and procrastinating. But, even in the middle of a mess there are brave moments, days and weeks.

I’ve felt brave when I faced things. Put a good face forward. I don’t want to dredge up specifics. It was enough to have faced it all, done my best and gone forward enough that some things are now part of my past rather than hanging around looking like threats in my future.

It is terrific when you face something hard and find out it wasn’t as bad as all the build up you had given it.

Moustache Growing Month: Movember

emergmoustacheDo you know about Movember?

Movember is about men’s health, specifically prostate cancer. The idea of Movember is for men to grow a moustache in November and/or contribute to the cause of their own health. Growing a moustache is changing the face of men’s health, in a literal way.

Growing a moustache (also spelt mustache) myself doesn’t appeal to me. But, I’d wear a fake moustache for Movember. There are plenty of them to choose from once you get looking around online. You could choose them by facial hair style or hair colour. Of course, with a fake one you get to decide if you like felt, plastic, paper or something else too. You don’t even have to wear it on your face. I found necklaces, hair clips and mugs and glasses which make it look like you have a moustache when you drink from them.

 

How to Grow, Trim and Maintain a Moustache

 

What to do When you Can’t Grow a Moustache

 

Men’s Facial Hairstyles

 

Would you Keep a Moustache After Movember?

Would you grow a moustache just for the sake of having a moustache?

My Uncle has had a full beard and moustache for as long as I can remember. He has always maintained it well. But it’s fuzzy. I’ve seen him itching it at times. Often he gests something in it when we have dinner. I know he keeps his beard clean and combs it out too, but it must still be a weird feeling to have all that hair on your face. It gets in his mouth when he doesn’t keep it trimmed close.

There are certainly downfalls to having a hairy upper lip.

But, there are men who look really good with a moustache.

 

Find More Moustache Guys

I'm a Woman with a Moustache and I Don't Mind

disguiseAt the great old age of 48 now, I still have the same whiskers on my upper lip which I have lived with since I was about 13 or 14. I have never tried to hurt, maim or kill my moustache. I have left it alone, in a live and let live kind of way.

It helps that my whiskers are sparse. I do have dark hair and the hair on my lip matches the colour of the hair on my head (or most of it now that I’ve got grey mixed in with my dark brown mane).

I live with my facial hair and I don’t mind it. I even have a bit of fondness for the facial hair – It makes me feel connected to other women in my family who have far more facial hair than I ever hope (or want) to have.

I remember the very first day I actually noticed the whiskers myself.

I was in our downstairs bathroom and I had leaned in for a closer look at my face because I had a zit (also known as a pimple). I still like to get rid of those. I squish them then put stuff on them to finish the killing process and decontaminate so they can’t so easily return.

Seeing darker hairs on my upper lip was a surprise. I’m sure they weren’t there before then. I hated them on sight. They were traitors to the young, perfection of my face. That face being one of the few things I actually did like about myself – and still do. Having whiskers was a shock. Only old women were supposed to get those kind of things, women going through menopause or women from hairy families. I had neither. I was about 14 and my ancestry was pretty slanted to the Celtic side.

I called in for reinforcements, my Mother. She looked and then looked closer. She said they were hardly noticeable unless someone was really looking for them.

So I took a step back from the mirror, which wasn’t much considering my face was almost pressed against the glass to start with. It was true! Once I stepped back and wasn’t focused on that area of my face, I really couldn’t notice the whiskers. If I looked, I did see them. But, I had to be looking pretty carefully.

So I wasn’t turning into some weird sort of man-beast after all.

My Uncle has had a full beard and moustache for as long as I can remember. As children we would buy him shaving cream, packages of razors and so on. Children sometimes have such great ideas but not the common sense to see these ideas through. He laughed about our gifts and after being embarrassed once or twice we realized a man with a full beard and moustache isn’t going to need shaving cream. Later I would try after shave, thinking he could use it like cologne. I never did hear either way about that one. Maybe he thought it was a good idea.

Anyway, at that young age myself and having whiskers I did picture myself growing a beard, thick and hairy as I went through puberty and all those changes. I would check my upper lip for changes, new growth, more growth – dreading to see a whisker begin to do so much as curl.

I was lucky in the genetic lottery. I never did get more whiskers, or thicker whiskers. I did have friends who were less lucky.

One young woman I worked with had to shave her face every day. If she skipped a day she had 5 o’clock shadow. From talking to her I know she tried all kinds of methods to get rid of her whiskers. Waxing was painful but seemed to give her an extra day from having to deal with them. She tried several of those gimmicks from TV ads. Some of them burned her skin and made everything worse. Not only did she still have whiskers but her skin was burned and red or even blistered too. I was so glad for my sparse little whiskers then.

We Women Do Get Whiskers

Women in my family have a small tendency towards whiskers, when we get older. My own Mother began plucking her face (not just her eyebrows) once she was in her 40’s. My younger sisters both had whiskers on their upper lip and chin by the time they were in high school. Mine may have started sooner but they were less visible.

When my Great Aunt Alice died one of the saddest things was the full beard she had which no one was there often enough to prevent for her. She was my Grandmother’s sister (on my Mother’s side of the family).

My Grandmother also had stray whiskers on her face, but I never saw her with a lot of them until she was quite a bit older, when I was far past being a kid myself. She was a plucker too. Interesting to note that I have her same pattern of grey hair mostly in the front too. Maybe we share our whiskery ways too and I won’t have to really worry about them until I’m 60 or so too. I miss her – in that way it’s an honour to share her whiskers and grey hair. I do think about her nearly every time I look at my face in the mirror.

But… I do Like Being Contrary

Having written all that, a funny thing happened when I turned 40-something and began to get whiskers on my chin – I began plucking them, pretty mercilessly, with tweezers. I’m far from being a bearded lady. I only notice one a week and I do pluck them as soon as I feel them.

The only difference with the moustache and the chin whiskers was my age. I did not like the hair on my chin making me feel old when I actually was past the age of high school and beyond. Nature’s little digs about our age are much easier to take when we aren’t old yet.

Moustache Growing Month: Movember

Is it Easy to Forgive and Forget?

asciifenceYou need to have a reason to forgive someone before you can start to change your feelings, to forgive them. It doesn’t happen just because someone asks to be forgiven. Sometimes just wanting to keep someone in your life in even a small way, is motivation to begin to forgive them. But, a relationship based on one person constantly forgiving someone just to keep them around is a really poor relationship to be in.

I don’t think anyone should be pressured to forgive. Some actions taken and words spoken can not ever be undone or forgotten. I’m careful about giving forgiveness I don’t genuinely feel. In this way I have also become someone who does forgive easily. Maybe that seems backwards but not every least thing is worth hanging onto. We are human, we make mistakes and some of them are pretty small and stupid. If you are going to hang onto hurt feelings it should be over something that actually matters. Not a case of holding onto your feelings because you are bitter but a case of not being able to get over your feelings because they just run too deeply and the hurt reaches into your heart and soul.

Forgiveness isn’t a one way street. The person has to ask to be forgiven, show some remorse/ regret, before the relationship can begin to change.

Some people don’t ask. They feel guilty or think they didn’t really do anything wrong or just aren’t interested in what the aftermath of their actions/ words will be. People think asking for forgiveness is too hard. They would have to make some effort, put themselves at risk, and possibly face rejection. However, how can anyone think to be forgiven if they take no steps at all to make amends?

It’s hard to feel you are the only person in the relationship, the only one trying to make it work. In the end, that just doesn’t work. I don’t think you ever really can forgive someone who doesn’t place value on being forgiven by you. I don’t mean they need to grovel or beg, nothing drastic or dramatic. I do mean, they should at least want to be forgiven and communicate that in some way. (Communication also being a two way street – it has to be given and understood).

They say it is easier to be the one who is doing the forgiving than to be the one asking for forgiveness. I don’t agree. It is much harder to be hurt and then heal from it. The person who hurt you may not care or may not know the extent of the hurt given and become annoyed because you don’t just let it go. I don’t think we should just let go of everything. There should be standards for living just as there are building codes in construction. Having a guide to the standards is what gives buildings their structure, keeps them from being unsafe. It should be the same in personal relationships. No one should be expected to forgive and if we can’t fully forgive that should not be made light of or used to make us feel guilty or less of a person.

Nine Steps to Forgiveness

  1. Know exactly how you feel about what happened.
  2. Make a commitment to yourself to do what you have to do to feel better.
  3. Forgiveness does not necessarily mean reconciliation with the person that hurt you, or condoning of their action.
  4. Get the right perspective on what is happening.
  5. At the moment you feel upset practice a simple stress management technique.
  6. Give up expecting things from other people, or your life, that they do not choose to give you.
  7. Put your energy into looking for another way to get your positive goals met.
  8. Remember that a life well lived is your best revenge.
  9. Amend your grievance story to remind you of the heroic choice to forgive.

Read the full list on Forgive for Good. (This is an edited bare bones version, the site has a lot more).

Thoughts About Forgiveness

“Always forgive your enemies – nothing annoys them so much.” – Oscar Wilde

“When you hold resentment toward another, you are bound to that person or condition by an emotional link that is stronger than steel. Forgiveness is the only way to dissolve that link and get free.” – Catherine Ponder

“You can’t undo anything you’ve already done, but you can face up to it. You can tell the truth. You can seek forgiveness. And then let God do the rest.” – unknown

“It’s easier to ask forgiveness than it is to get permission.” – Grace Hopper

“Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future.” – Paul Boese

“Life is an adventure in forgiveness.” – Norman Cousins

“What we forgive too freely doesn’t stay forgiven.” – Mignon McLaughlin

“Without forgiveness life is governed by… an endless cycle of resentment and retaliation.” – Roberto Assagioli

Boudoir Dolls: Restore and Repurpose Dolls

bed doll patternMy Mother bought me a fancy bed doll when I was a young lady. I was somewhere between being a kid and being a teenager. She hoped having the doll to decorate my bed would get me into the habit of making my bed each morning so the doll could sit on it with her lovely dress, fancy hair and angelic little face. But, before we bought the doll my Mother explained that it was not a doll to play with. Instead she was just to be put on the bed or the shelf for display. She told me that once I took the doll’s hair down or took her dress off it would not be the same. She was right. I found out by doing it.

It would be nice if the bed doll gets another chance to be fashionable. For one thing, it’s a chance to repurpose some of the old dolls in thrift stores. I always see shelves of them, most half dressed or missing all their clothes. Someone needs to come along and take care of those girls.

Also, if you get into the design and creating of the dresses you can become a doll fashionista. Look at old fashioned dresses, gowns from TV and movies and bring in new modern themes to create custom gowns designed by you.

I’ve seen these dolls called boudoir dolls too, a more romantic name than bed dolls.

vintage boudoir dollThis doll comes from Grammas Junk on Etsy.

vintage bed dollVintage bed doll from Nimbles Nook on Etsy.

Pinterest: The Boudoir Doll

Pinterest: Boudoir Dolls

Pinterest: Free Crochet Bed Doll Patterns and Accessories

Pinterest: Boudoir Babes

Pinterest: Flapper, Smoker Boudoir Dolls and Others

Flickr: Vintage Half Dolls and Boudoir Dolls

Epatterns Central: Bed Doll Patterns

The Dollie Boudoir – History of her.

About.com: Doll Collecting: Boudoir Dolls

Boudoir Doll Salon

Jazz Age Club: The Boudoir Doll Craze

The Wayback Times: Meet the Boudoir Dolls

Frau Wulf’s Boudoir Doll Blog (No longer being updated).