How Did the Human Race Appear?

A little girl asked her mother, “How did the human race appear?”

The mother answered, “God made Adam and Eve and they had children, and so was all mankind made..”

Two days later the girl asked her father the same question. The father answered, “Many years ago there were monkeys from which the human race evolved.”

The confused girl returned to her mother and said, “Mom, how is it possible that you told me the human race was created by God, and Dad said they developed from monkeys?”

The mother answered, “Well, dear, it is very simple. I told you about my side of the family and your father told you about his.”

Found on Facebook: The Husband Chronicles.

Parkour for Fat Girls (Women Too)

Parkour is more than an exercise, it’s spiritual and about learning to live your life in a better way. I see parkour not as something just for the young, fit people but for the fat girls and women who need to move forward and help themselves reach their own goals.

The inspiration to write this came from myself entirely. You see, I really don’t like to exercise. Being a fat woman, I’d rather stop eating than get up and sweat and have people see me ‘working out’.

I hate being fat but it’s easier than making a real change and having people notice how fat I really am. When I go out, I just forget myself and do what I want to do. The actual physical weight isn’t so hard to forget – except when it comes to the odd time when I choose which chair to sit in or should I try running for the bus or just skip it and wait for the next one, even if it is a cold day and I’m carting groceries home.

Sure, I know nothing will change if I don’t change. So, I’m taking up parkour, for fat girls or women.

What is parkour you may want to ask but feel it might be one of those stupid questions. Actually, it isn’t a stupid quesiton at all. Parkour is mainly considered an extreme sport. In actual fact, there is more to parkour than extreme exercise.Parkour is actually about forward movement, in whatever way, shape, form or speed you choose. Parkour is about finding new ways to keep moving forward. Isn’t that kind of perfect for a fat girl?

I can move forward. I need to move forward. It’s just the actual act of moving forward that ruins my momentum. So, that is where I start my Parkour for Fat Girls. Getting started, at all.

First, I bought a floor mat sort of thing. This was so I could feel less like an elephant clumping around over the floor. The mat I picked is stuffed with memory foam. It’s intended purpose was a bath/ shower mat. I have repurposed it as my exercise mat for parkour.

The next thing I am doing (after I close the window blinds and pick my spot on the floor) is to look up exercises and foot work in general, which I can do walking in place, more or less.

For me moving forward is not going to be about moving around all over the house. I’m going to get moving, find my motivation and keep moving. The forward will come – it just won’t be physically walking one step at a time, more along the lines of mentally walking one step at a time from being the fat girl doing parkour to being the chubby girl who can run for the bus if she wants to.

My First Fancy Parkour Trick

My first idea for parkour, other than the walking in place which will get tiresome in more ways than one, is to walk back. Not to actually walk backwards, just to lift my legs behind me instead of in front. This will use muscles I seldom get around to in the ordinary run of the mill day. I think it’s a great plan.

Another idea came from watching Russian soldiers marching years ago. They march without bending the knee. It’s harder than bending your knee, give it a try and see for yourself.

I’m going to be watching for more walking, marching, pacing and other ideas I can use for my parkour. I’m starting out at an easy pace. As I get into the exercise and able to do more I will find new ways to move. I can bring in an obstacle – I’ve got a low step which I can walk over, walk around or step on and off of it. I’m not going to be jumping over it any time soon, but that will be in my future too if I stick with it.

In general, go at your own pace. If you are large sized you already know you have some limitations. So, not a big deal. Parkour, or any exercise will put extra strain on your body. That isn’t a reason not to work at parkour. You may see people flipping themselves around, jumping off things and so on. But, that isn’t how you get started. Start at your own, current level. In time you will be able to do more, last longer and have the strength and co-ordination to try fancier parkour moves.

Links for Parkour Girls

I Want to See a Fat Girl

I want to see a fat girl in a leading role of a film.

I want to see a fat girl in a leading role of a film that isn’t about her weight.

I want to see a fat girl wearing mini skirts or just whatever the fuck she’s comfortable in.

I want to see a fat girl kick some bad guy’s ass.

I want to see a fat girl be the one that the guy/girl falls in love with at first sight instead of just the fat girl the guys all make fun of first before getting to the stereotypical blond, thin white girl.

I want to see a fat girl who isn’t the thin girl’s funny friend.

I want to see a fat girl love scene.

I want to see a fat girl be a fucking survivor of a god damned fucking zombie apocalypse!  Fuck you and your rule #1, Zombieland!

I want to see a fat Disney princess.

I want to see a badass fat girl who is sardonic and smokes, and when someone comments on her weight and how smoking makes it worse, she just blows smoke right in their faces.

I want to see a fat girl who loves to screw and isn’t ashamed of the fact.

I want to see a fat girl’s leading man/woman punch some guy in the fact for making fun of her.

I want to see a fat girl be something that is not her weight.  I don’t want her to be the butt of every joke.  I don’t want her to be the one who’s constantly rejected, or the one who has to fight to accept herself and have others around her accept who she is.  I’m tired of seeing roles for fat girls that are only about her weight.  I want to see a fat girl living her normal existence.  I want to see her know she’s beautiful and not have to go through some huge challenge of loving herself.  I’m tired of seeing horror films with only a thin cast.  Fatties can run, too, a lot of times faster than you can and I can guarantee fatties can probably beat a bad guy up better, too.

I WANT TO SEE A FAT GIRL, HOLLYWOOD!

via Internal Acceptance Movement, I Want to See a Fat Girl.

IRT: It’s Not the Same Without Lisa

Did you get watching Ice Road Truckers the past few seasons? I did. I put the show on one night while channel flipping. I thought it would be ok, better than anything else I flipped past. (I don’t want crime shows).

I became a fan of Ice Road Truckers for three people on the show that season: Alex Debogorski,  Ray Veilleux, the main one was Lisa Kelly. There she was, a girl pretty enough to be on TV – not the kind of girl you would expect to be driving a truck, a big, real truck. I liked her just for that. As I began watching the show regularly I would be glued to the screen when Lisa was on. Most of the time I could listen in the background. But, when Lisa was on, I had to watch. How would she handle that flapping. loose strap? How would she deal with the big tippy load? How was she working with all those guys and coming out on top, respected by most of them?

I was proud of a woman I’ve never met. I watched the spin-off shows, Deadliest Roads because Lisa was there. I even sent her a note on Twitter one night when I was particularly proud of how well she handled those dark, deep tunnels – in spite of having the load she was carrying wind up headless at the very end. (Not even from the tunnels but a bridge they had to go over to get into town).

Anyway, Lisa isn’t on the latest season of Ice Road Truckers. Disappointing. I won’t say I won’t watch the show, but… it just won’t be all that interesting without Lisa to cheer on her adventures.