Source: Queen Allison
European crime novel featuring a woman woman with a skeleton friend
Not everyone wants to be a part of Halloween. We all have our reasons and we might actually enjoy parts of the holiday and the days leading up to it. But, not all of us want to wait by the door to hand out candy to trick-or-treaters. Not all of us want to attend Halloween parties. For whatever your reason, you may be among those of us who hide on Halloween.
Create Your own Halloween Magic – A disappearing act
Personally, I have no children and would rather leave the handing out of candy to those who would enjoy it. I don’t. Nothing against the dear little children but handing out candy is just a chore to me. It means spending 2 or 3 hours (sometimes more) pretending I’m happy to see a lot of parents and children and teenagers coming to my door. I’m a introvert, not a great party host. The times I have handed out candy I really did it for the teenagers. I don’t like the way some people are ageist about Halloween. Let the teenagers trick-or-treat and don’t give them a hard time about it.
Anyway, the past three years I have left behind Halloween and done something else. I love the decorations and all the fun leading up to Halloween but on the night itself – I disappear! Just think of it as a little Halloween magic.
Grab a Good Book – Think H.P. Lovecraft to keep in the Halloween theme
Of course, what you do while disappearing will depend on who you are. I prefer to take along a good book and hide out at the coffee shop. When it gets late enough I head along home. It is especially nice to take the bus (if the bus is available for you). Let someone else worry about driving on Halloween night with children running amok and jack-o-lanterns being smashed on the road. It’s a good time to treat yourself to the public chauffeur.
Here are some other ideas:
- Go to the movie theatre or a play
- Visit someone else staying home
- Go out for dinner, bonus if they have a Halloween special
- Have a Halloween drink out somewhere
- Find an adult party and dress up for Halloween
- Run errands and pick up a few things at the mall
- Stay overnight at a fancy hotel
- Take your vacation time from work
There is always the Halloween staycation too. If you can keep the house looking dark from the outside and ignore the rustling at your door and around your yard (because you know there will be some who just have to try every house for candy, lights or not).
Some people would leave up a sign telling kids they aren’t doing Halloween. Some people would leave a bunch of candy for kids to pick up. Neither of these sound good to me. I think it’s smarter and simpler to just leave the lights off and pull any Halloween decorations inside the house where they won’t be seen or broken.
How to make your lawn look ghastly for Halloween using simple stuff like zombie flamingos, garden gnomes and such which you can buy on eBay and poke into your grass.
How to dress like a slut for Halloween without alarming your Mother
Lingerie in Halloween colours to perk up the late night trick-or-treaters.
How to keep your kids from eating too much candy on Halloween – give them healthy snacks instead and threaten to hang them off the roof while they barf if they don’t eat the healthy snacks
Dress up your pets for Halloween so they can guard your kids from the pumpkin bashing bullies
How to store your Halloween costumes, especially those which are not flame retardant.
Halloween gifts for your boyfriend who didn’t return all your 1,000 text messages yesterday
Play with trick-or-treaters: Get a stuffed dog for Halloween and put on tapes with spooky music and a dog barking in the background. Let kids think the dog is safe and then sick your real dog on them.
What to do if your child is choking on Halloween candy? – feed him more until it all goes down
Decorate your house in pink for Halloween – for breast cancer. Don’t forget to use your husband for the big boob in the centre
Old fashioned Halloween costumes – spray paint your children
Gather all the children’s toys you’re tired of picking up and recycle them into Halloween monster toys like babypedes and other monsterish, gruesome things.
Shoes to wear for Halloween, wind, rain, snow or slime
Halloween movies to watch with your dog, or cat. Write about movies with dogs or cats, or goldfish with a Halloween theme
Halloween tapes like Monster Mash which you can play over and over to torment teenagers who don’t appreciate the 70’s… yet.
Use mannequins to create a Halloween family eating dinner around the table. Make this the night you invite the neighbours for dinner. (They don’t need to bring anything but extra seasoning wouldn’t hurt them).
Tacky, trippy or just plain terrible sweaters for your loved ones at Halloween
Safe chemicals to throw on your children when their cheap Halloween costumes ignite
More reasons why candles are not a good thing for children to carry while trick-or-treating
Creepy Halloween toilet paper to use for papering houses, cars, people, pets, etc
How to make your own creepy sound recordings for Halloween without really harming any children or pets.
How to spray foam on cars which is not shaving cream (which melts paint apparently)
Use cookie cutters and hot wax to shave creative Halloween patterns in your chest (or back) hair
I especially like this idea. I could make a row of them like a candlelit village. I’d rather have these than a scary jack-o-lantern face.
A passel of pumpkins provides the backdrop for a quaint village scene.
Step 1: Carve a hole in the bottom of each pumpkin, scoop out the pulp, and return the cut pieces.
Step 2: Print out these house templates. Resize on a copier, scaling the images to fit your pumpkins.
Step 3: Cut out stencils as directed on the templates and affix to pumpkins with masking tape. Trace on the designs with a felt-tip pen.
Step 4: Remove stencils, then carefully carve along the drawn lines of the houses’ windows with an X-Acto knife. Fill in the designs using a fine-tip brush and black flat acrylic paint; let dry. Affix a battery-operated votive candle in the base of each pumpkin with adhesive putty.
Read more: Country Living