I feel like I’m made of broken glass. I don’t know how I will keep my patience babysitting for a weekend. I just will, somehow. Though one of my sister’s daughters just seems to rub me the wrong way and she’s only six. So you can’t really do much about it.
Today the repair person was out for the washer from Sears. It’s going to be another week without a clothes washer. He is bringing a part out next week. I have a garbage bag halfway full of very wet and heavy laundry which got wet but not washed. I will lug it around to my sister’s house and was it there. At least I’m saving water, bringing most of it with me. See how green you can be when you really put your mind to it!
The new tenant is moving into the new basement apartment tomorrow. I don’t know how that will be. I only saw him for a few seconds once. My first impression was that he was a scruffy looking young guy. There is no door to keep him from coming upstairs into the rest of the house. Why is it that my brother who enjoys pulling cons and talking about ways to take advantage of the system is so shockingly trusting when it comes to something like this? If you meet someone once and they don’t try to kill you off or something that means you can trust them with everything you own. I just don’t see it that way. If I wake up and some guy I don’t know is standing over my bed watching me sleep I will not be polite about telling him to vacate the premises.
Also, we now have the basement empty of everything we had stored down there. One small room which has the water heater has some storage. My brother has gone bananas though and tried to get everything out of there too. So my bedroom is now full to the rafters with as much as I could save from him. I don’t want everything in the garage or thrown out, thanks anyway. I did tell him/ remind him that we do still have the water heater room and can put some things in there. So some of it went back down there again. Mostly some antique furniture and a little of the Christmas stuff. My Xmas tree however is in a well ripped up box and shucked into the garage where I know mice will be nesting in it. I will be so eager to put that tree up again, NOT.
My bedroom light seems to have gone out. I won’t even mention it to him cause he will just start yelling at me again.
He still wants to put all my yarn in that basement room where I won’t be able to use any of it cause the plan is to only store stuff down there that we don’t use often. So that the basement can be left for the tenant. But, if he keeps putting everything I own down there I will be going down there often or just giving up on everything, which I feel really close to doing at this point. I know it is just being stressed out, feeling trapped and being told what to do. Things I have never liked or tolerated well. Usually I just stay quiet and choose my battles. But when it is forced on me for months and months and years… I am getting a bit crazy at this point. I feel like I don’t actually have a place anywhere. I really want a place of my own, where I can live. I think I will just go nuts the way things always keep going.
Probably there are people in the world who wouldn’t be bothered by any of this and wonder what my problem is. But that isn’t me.
At least I have a nice coffee again. I was using a generic French Vanilla from the PC grocery store. It used to be ok, it’s not ok any more. I won’t buy it again. Even the Second Cup coffee doesn’t seem as good as it used to be. Maybe it’s just me and the broken glass feeling which seems to be sinking into every cell of my body. I hope coffee starts to taste good again when some of this is over.
I caught up most of the bills, had payments on everything but Rogers. I cancelled Rogers cause the Internet is like high speed dial up. I tested it out and I really can read a few pages of a book while I wait for each site or page of a site to load. Why would anyone pay $150 a month for Rogers service? They really messed up the phone too. The cable seemed ok but I can’t find the channels I want to watch. With Bell I was able to set favourites and search through only those channels. Made it much easier. I’m glad I will be starting again with Bell next month.
I hope I am home for Doodle Week, staring on Monday. I don’t want to see that die off. Been hard to feel creative or anything. But I don’t want to give up on it.
By Monday most of the stuff will be done. Sears will fix the clothes washer. The apartment will be rented and whatever will be will be with that. Graham, my brother, won’t be coming out here almost everyday complaining about everything I do or think or dare to say. I even have Rogers handled, for now, I think. I explained that I’m not employed and paying Rogers isn’t a priority. After all, what does it matter if you have Internet and cable if your power has been cut off. Stupid big company bastards.
I do want to find a job. Well, not really. I really don’t want to be listening to anyone else wining or making rules any more. But I do want a pay cheque to spend on bills and the odd latte. I could really start doing work for that BOTW site. I want to, I just can’t seem to settle in and stick with it. It doesn’t help that my room is so full of clutter right now and I’m wondering what else my brother decided to throw away.
Anyway, I don’t know when they are coming but they should be coming soon to pick me up for another round of babysitting. Just two days of sleeping on the broken couch and then I will be back here. Makes you have a whole new appreciation for your own bed, no matter what else is going on in your life your bed is always there, waiting for you to snuggle in.
